Sunday, December 03, 2006

Healing Journeys

Hi, Friends. Here is the first Stab at producing a theme-related Blog poosting,. this one to do with healing. There are five so far I have put in here...there are many more, some of which I will add soon. The first is quite long...

THREAT OF RENEWED CANCER REMOVED BY THE HELPERS AND SEEKER
(This series of emails tracks the initial contact right through when the doctor declares this episode, in which the lack of a tumor puts the lie to tests showing a cancer threat, a "fluke." M and I know better.)
INITIAL CONTACT:
6/9/06: Hello Four Hawks,
My Name is M and I am in The US.
I came across your Blog while trying to find
shamanic practitioners in my area and low and behold here
you are. I am contacting you because well, I need help. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer in Oct. and treated in Jan.
Recently the doctors have found cause for concern and I have to
go through some tests in July to make sure the cancer has not come back.
I am experiencing a lot of the symptoms that I did before treatment
and they are getting increasingly worse.
The reason that I have to wait till July for these tests is to make sure that
the Radioactive iodine from Jan. is completely out of my system for them to be accurate. Although thyroid cancer is usually very easy to treat, if its not being treated easily then that’s not good.
I really need to get at the cause of all of this, I need to understand and concur it.
And I need help.
I have been researching shamanism since my first encounter
with a shaman about a year ago. I had a healing done and a lot of beautiful
things were revealed to me. The process is something that I truly connect with.
So, if you are free and able to work with me I would be truly truly grateful!
My financial situation is not what it could be at the moment and I would not be able to repay you with a cash exchange at this time. On your site I know that you said that this would not be a problem but, I would need to repay you in some way. Hopefully we can work something out, that is if you can help me.
Hope to here from you soon.
Blessings to you and yours,
6/14: MY FIRST JOURNEY:
As I entered the Spirit World, I saw a little Girl eating Peanut Butter or something similar, straight from a Jar. She was really into it! I knew it was M as a Child. While she was standing there, a big, black Cloud formed nearby. I went over to check it out, and found that it had Lines of Blood running through it. Then, the Spirit of my Brass Mongolian Shaman Figurine (which in this World rests on my Chest when I Journey) came toward me. In each Hand he was lugging a square Block of Light. One was Sky Blue, the other Earth Green. He gave these to me, and when I put them down in front of me, they quickly shape-shifted into two round “Mirrors”, still blue and green, just large enough for my Feet to fit upon. I instinctively stepped onto the Mirrors and found myself being lifted up into the Cloud. Once inside, I was standing inside an old-fashioned, large House. It was Afternoon, but the Walls and Furnishings were thus that the House still had a dark Pall over it. The Surroundings also indicated the People here lived quite comfortably in Terms of Wealth. The House had a least two Stories, and I was very near a large Staircase. In the Hallway next to the Stairs and leading into what was probably the Kitchen/Dining Area, I suddenly saw a large Tombstone sticking out of the Floor. Instead of having a Name on it, it had the single Word, “Anger.” I then saw a Skirmish take Place at the Top of the Staircase. A drunken older Man suddenly pushed a little Girl down the Staircase, killing her. I watched as the Spirit of the Girl hopped out of her Body and ran up to begin beating on the Man with all her Might. She then placed a Curse on his future Offspring and theirs, on down the Line. I sensed that M was a Recipient of this Curse from the distant Past. I was suddenly brought back to the little Girl eating Peanut Butter, and saw that there is a small, donut-shaped Cloud circling M’s thyroid Gland. It is black and lined with Blood, just like the one I had just investigated. M has the Curse! I then asked if this Curse can be removed. I was shown that as a first Step toward Healing, M must procure (if she doesn’t have one already), a Turquoise and Coral Necklace. She must wear this for three consecutive Weeks, taking it off nightly to wash in cold Water. I know from prior Shamanic Experience that this Ritual will help remove most if not all of the Curse Energy. I was then shown that she must burn a Lavender Candle for a Total of four Hours to appease the Anger of the little Girl who was killed on the Stairway. The Scene then shifted several Times. First, I saw a funeral Procession moving slowly along on a very dark and gray day. The Box with the killed Girl’s Body in it was being taken to Burial among Mist and Drizzle in a Horse-drawn Wagon. Again I could see the Spirit of the Girl in total Anger, throwing Dirt and Sticks at the Procession. Then, I saw the Little Girl playing with a very friendly and compassionate Dog. This Scene must have been from when she was alive. Then I saw myself on the Veranda of a very well-appointed House. A black Woman on her 30s came over to me. She was pointing out a heavy-set Boy with reddish Hair and Glasses. She wanted me to listen as he went inside to play “Fur Elise”. I was then shown that to appease the angry Spirit, M should combine all these elements into a single Presentation on her Bureau: the Lavender Candle, a Replica or Picture of a Piano, also that of a Dog, also that of a young Boy with reddish Hair…and should play that Symphony while burning the Candle surrounded by the other Items. This should take care of the Destructive Energy surrounding her Thyroid. After that Energy is gone, any healing Treatments will be far more effective in removing any Damage done to date. The Journey was then complete.

NOTES: The blue and green Mirrors are significant in that they actually represent Father Sky and Mother Earth. It was by combining their Energies that I was allowed to witness the Source of M’s problem. This tells me M must likewise seek balance in her life between male and female energies.

Lavender is also very significant. It helps keep physical and emotional balance, helps deal with the frustrations of others in a stable manner (VERY key given how poorly but understandably the little girl dealt with her impulsive killing), and announces that karmic issues are at hand (that is, issues of destiny). Lavender was used by Solomon to clean sacred circles, as it activates an extremely high vibration that is impenetrable to lower thought forms and astral entities [my emphasis - the angry young girl Spirit]. Lavender relives stress, headaches, insomnia, pains, arthritis and depression. It restores physical and emotional balance. It activates Chakras that control mental clarity, awareness and alertness. It helps remove karmic blockages that hinder spiritual growth. It can allow you to see directly Spirit Beings. It draws love and protection, and reminds us to maintain emotional balance. Now is the time to deal with issues objectively. Maintain your stability, even if those around do not. The issues at hand are probably karmic, and so it is best to deal with them now.

Finally, Shamans use Candles to call in the Center of All Time and Space. The Flame is where all is possible and all exists…so to have it lit over Lavender will make it very powerful in appeasing the Spirit of Anger.”
6/18: M's REPLY:
So, one of the first things that jumped out at me and I just had to laugh was my child eating peanut butter. I have been eating peanut butter non-stop for like a month now. And actually in the healing that I mentioned in my first letter the spirits signaled me by making reference to the apple binge that I was on. This is possibly because in the last few years I have become more conscious of the way I eat.
As far as your Brass Mongolian Shaman Figurine bringing to you the blocks of green and blue light, I was just the other day thinking about those very same colors and there presence in my life. How they make me feel in a way that is beyond words (psychically, I guess), emotionally, where in my body ,ect... I noticed that while I have always had an affinity for blue, it's "airy" and clear texture and quality, I have an unconscious urge to surround myself with the color green, my bedroom, my clothes, and the little things all around.
I have been aware and picking up on the messages to balance my male and female energies for some time now and I've got to say that this seems to be somewhat of a difficult task for me. Just when I think that I've got a grasp on what exactly that means the concept totally eludes me. Maybe it's not an intellectual pursuit, maybe I am making it more difficult then it needs to be, maybe it is the influence of a patriarchal society which makes it difficult for me to balance those tipped scales.
Honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of what you saw with the little girl. I was certainly surprised at the revelation. It is probably the last thing that I would have imagined that you would have found. You said that I am to get a turquoise and coral necklace. The very same day that you made this journey, I was reading a book and it mentioned that turquoise and coral were common combinations in Native American jewelry. I never really knew that and for some reason it jumped out at me.
A couple of weeks ago I asked the spirits to lead me to the necklace that I was supposed to be wearing, I knew instinctively a necklace would help, I just didn't know what kind. After reading your message I searched on-line and found it on e-bay for a price that I could afford. Question: At night when I take it off to wash it, am I to put it right back on or wait till morning?
Also the day that you made the journey I was cleaning and I had the urge to completely rearrange my alter, my alter that I keep on my bureau. I found a small lavender candle that I had bought a while back. And I became some what fixated on the alter and I felt that something needed to be done. I took out a deck of tarot type cards and I drew a card that said "make music". I had no idea what it meant but, I figured I would find out, so put it on my alter. I have gotten I recording of "Fur Elise" and as soon as I find the pictures needed I will go through the ritual prescribed. Questions: am I to only play the song once and just let the candle burn for 4 hours? Have you any idea who this redheaded boy was? Is there any certain type of dog that I should look for in a picture?
You said that this ritual would appease the spirit of the dead girl. Could you explain to me a little more what that means? Is she somehow "released" or is it somewhat like soul retrieval for her? In that, something will be returned to her so that she can become whole and move on? Or is it more like, through me repaying the karmic debt of my ancestor things are in balance again? Where is she? Is it her entire spirit that is there or just a piece or an imprint? Do you continue to help her? Is this curse going to continue to effect others in my family???
Hope that I'm not asking too many questions...
6/21: LATER ON, M WROTE:
You are certainly right about it taking time to absorb all of the metaphors!
I am allowing all of these messages to integrate and watching them develop.
I have gathered all that I need for the candle ritual and I began yesterday.
For what ever reason, I felt guided to play the song twice at the beginning and
twice at the end of the candle burning. Yesterday just after the ritual I was sitting down on the coach and their was a TIME magazine sitting right in front of me. Almost unconsciously I reached for the magazine and started thumbing through and I open up to an ad with one whole full page of just a piano. I gave a little smile, but didn't think too much of it. Then I went out to run errands, I went to this one store that I always go to. As long as I have been going there I have never seen this man working there but, the man that waited on me had red hair and glasses! He had a young boyish face but a steady, gentle demeanor, he was very friendly and it seemed that something about him was begging for my attention. Being somewhat slow to catch on at times it didn't hit me completely until I got in my car and I remembered seeing the piano in the magazine...and then the light went on. Since then it seems everywhere I go there is a red head somewhere in the vicinity.
So, there have been many connections and synchronicities outwardly as well as inwardly. This I hope and believe a is a sign that things are changing, moving, healing... or beginning to anyway.
I have not received the necklace yet but, any day now.
Thank You! for the tip about the color green. I have actually read that about cancer and the color green years ago but, you hear so many different things and what has always stuck with me is green as a healing color. But thanks for reinforcing that idea, it does make sense doesn’t it? Although, I am noticing the color everywhere I go and today I was at my therapists and I saw her aura loud and clear as a vibrant green color. I don't see auras all of the time and usually not that vibrantly, so I assume that this has some reason. Or maybe I just picked up on it because I'm thinking of it now? I stopped wearing green and I will try to shift my attention to one of the other colors that you had mention would be good.
I will be very curious to see who my power animal is. In the 1st healing I had Lion was brought back for me and I know that I have a strong connection to Raven, I have for a long time even before I knew anything of power animals. It is my understanding that we have one or a few steady animal spirits that are with us throughout our lifetime and then others who come and go and are with us until we no longer need them. Is this so?
I am so excited to have your help and the help of the spirits. It has given me hope that all of this can be sorted out (in what ever way that is). I'm still scared at times but for the first time in a while I feel like I can let go and without expectations, allow things to be what and how they are and no matter what things will be O.K...so I guess that the healing has begun.
Let the chain of anger end here.
Blessings to you,
7/2: LATER M WROTE: Well, trying to stay centered...Trying to stay centered because that's the way through, now isn't it.I've been feeling a little anxious with my tests coming up ... I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm on what they call a "suppressive" dose of hormones. They use this dosage for the next 5 years to stop any, if there is any, thyroid tissue from growing. The dose makes me hyperthyroid.i think that by nature I am such a laid back and quiet person that I really have to work atreleasing anxiety and tension by finding different outlets. While as some others might be able to release it by just being "hyper" or amping up there outer energy.I try to exercise as much as possible and I've been working on different art pieces. I've actually been working on a collage, the left side is all images that represent the feminine andthe right images of the masculine and in the center they sort of blend into one another.It's definitely helping me to focus on the balance of male/female in my life.I can feel it working.When I mentioned that I was having trouble grasping these concepts, what you said about it was so simple, but for what ever reason, it really helped me to get it.
(7/5)THEN M EXPLAINS AN EARLIER MESSAGE TO ME : As far as the flashing lights, it has always been at the foot of the stairs that I have
seen them. They are white and green and rather large and close to my body. I am curious to see what you would be able to find out. That would be great! Thanks.

I will definitely burn some incense as an offering right away, in fact as soon as I'm done here. I have some lotus incense that I can use. I wanted to ask you what I should do with the unburned portion of the lavender candle? and as far as the pictures of the boy, dog, and piano putting them in the recycling bin should be good, right?
7/11 FOUR HAWKS WRITE BACK: Hi, M. Oh the tides of time. I performed a second Journey on you last night to make sure the broken necklace was not a problem. It isn’t, but there were so other good lessons in there for you, mainly to seek total balance. Although all things have difference and can even be at extremes from one another, the Shaman view of life is that all things come from Great Spirit, and are therefore Sacred and made of the same Spirit Stuff. This applies as well to health and illness. Also, it is important for you to temper your male side down a bit…that is, make your analytical and reasoning skills more like a young boy’s than an older man’s. I’ll try to get both of these to you today or tomorrow, but my time is so thin right now!
(7/11) TWO ADDITONAL JOURNEYS FOR M: Hi, M. Here are the two Journeys I promised you…I did some explaining, but you may have more to offer..

JOURNEY #1

7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on some lights she has been seeing when heading up her Staircase at Home. These are small Balls of Light, indicating in her Peripheral Vision. I initially told her I see these also, for they are little Glimpses of the Soul Parts that run up and down the Axis of the Human Energy Field through the Chakras. I felt there was no need to go further, until she told me she was now seeing white AND green Orbs. This changed my Approach, and hence this Journey to determine what is up.

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself at a Picnic Table. My Protectors, Two Feathers and Gray Wolf, were there, as well as my Mirror Spirit, Utawa. They were all eating fresh Corn off the Cob. I then saw my Upper World Guide, Eagle Claw, heading toward us with a large Apron full of more Corn! An Abundance if ever I saw one! So I sat and began eating, too. Then, in the Center of the Table, I saw a green and white Box form. The Colors were swirling and morphing around the Box, and evermore so with Time. As I kept on eating my Corn, the Scene shifted. Now there were two, tall Towers of Energy, one Green and one White. Faces formed at the Top of each Column…and they were identical. Suddenly I and the two Light Beings dropped through the Ground into a Forest. There was a Dirt Path there, which I began walking along. I soon came to a Clearing with a large Fountain of Light. The two Light Beings knelt at the Fountain. Two additional Colors now formed over the Fountain, blue and yellow. All four Beings, aside from there Color, now looked alike. They all got together and began to circle the Fountain at ever-higher Speed. Soon, there was a white/blue Ring of Energy surrounding the Fountain, made up of these four Beings. They had merged. I caught this Energy with my Mirror. I then watched as the Scene shifted back to the Picnic Table. My Guides there told me that this all meant that M’s Soul is trying to fragment, thereby pulling her in all different Directions, in all Ways. I was told she needs to reunify her Energies. To do this, they gave me another Candle Exercise for M. This is very important, for Fire is the Center of Existence, and any Ceremony with it included is therefore very powerful. M is to find four Candles: blue, white, yellow and green. She is to burn them together, and if possible (without setting her House on Fire) get the Energies to merge, at least for a short Time. The Call Back then sounded and I returned to the Room. As I lay there coming back, a brief Scene displayed in which I saw a Doctor, seemingly acting in a positive Manner…but I have no other details.

NOTES:

CORN: It is time to merge the sacred with the mundane; new life and abundance. Corn reminds us to be practical and pragmatic while still holding onto our dreams. It also reminds us to be grateful for what we are and have.

GREEN reflects calming, balancing, growth. It increases compassion. It soothes the nervous system. Green awakens friendliness, hope, faith and peace. It stimulates growth. It cancels out red’s effects. Never use green around cancerous growths, though (unless so directed by Spirit Helpers, of course).

BLUE means relaxation, antiseptic, cooling. It awakens intuition and eases loneliness. It awakens artistic expression and creativity, and is very effective when mixed with the warm colors. Orange represents joy, wisdom and creativity It stimulates feelings of socialness. It is tied to our emotional health and the muscular system.

WHITE This symbolizes great Spirit Power of very high order. White light can be used to wash the Aura and Spirit clean through both physical and imaginational use. “

JOURNEY NUMBER 2:

“7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on the breaking of her Coral and Turquoise Healing Necklace. She was concerned this would have a detrimental effect on her Healing, and although I felt it would not, I decided I would make sure. A very interesting Journey ensued:

As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace. I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1. I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it. I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M--- also.” I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. lITTLE M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…). Suddenly LITTLE M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, LITTLE M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire. Soon, it became a Forest on Fire. We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her. I then saw a heavy, older Man walking out of M and turn into a young Boy. Then, M disappeared. We were then back at the Castle. We walked by it instead of into it. I could still here the Toad running around within. LITTLE M, Utawa and I then headed out for the transit Log. Suddenly, I caught a Spear, similar to the one that had almost killed me the first Time I was in this Castle, with my right Hand, without even looking behind to see it coming. This showed I had conquered this Place and its occasional Illness Spirits. We crossed back to where we started, and found numerous, gorgeous purple Flowers. Then, there were yellows. Finally, red-orange Colors. This looked as if we were walking Top to Bottom through an Aura. The final Glimpse I had was that these Flowers were in a prestigious College-like Setting. The Call Back then sounded.

NOTES: This seems to show that M will conquer whatever symptoms result from the initial Invasion. She chooses to Balance the “Black” and White” versus choosing one over the other (and this is a decidedly Shamanic Stance), and this theme of Balance repeats itself often in the Journey. She balances herself over the Lake (emotions, femininity) to behold the world in joy again. The transformation of old man to boy shows she must use her left-brain, male side in a childlike manner…analysis for learning and fun, not for serious business.

TIGER: The Tiger represents Passion, Power, Devotion and Sensuality.

ELEPHANT: It represents Ancient Power, Strength and Royalty. It is a symbol of royalty and fertility. The Hindu God of wisdom and success is depicted with an elephant’s head. The elephant was usually the royal mount. It was the warrior God and the God of the monsoons in India. Elephants have good memories..of others who have cased it harm! They embody strength, especially power of the libido. They are also seen as symbols of great sexual power.

Elephants are also linked to clouds because of their size. Clouds are made of mist, and represent the transition between the formed and unformed (rain and unseen moisture). This links again to the ocean/land interface, and suggest a state of continuing metamorphosis.

The trunk gives the elephant a great sense of smell. This means you should be paying attention to things and situations that “don’t smell right.” You need to be very discriminating. This also suggests you should look into aromatherapy for healing and calming. The trunk is used for many things..eating, watering, etc. This reflects your need and ability to open to energies and worlds otherwise inaccessible. The tusks are used for digging edible roots. This again suggests a need to concentrate on plants and roots..those things grown in the Earth, as seen in the prior Spirit Health Journey.

Elephants group separately in female and male, except for mating. In both, sub-groups involve the young, the adult and the wise old one. Elephants also show great affection and loyalty to each other, and mutually help the old, the weak/sick and the young.,.and each other They exhibit powerful societal and family ideals. Again, like the monkey, you are called to become more social and aware..helping those in need no matter what their station, age or gender. You can draw on ancestral wisdom and power, and reclaim your primordial royalty!

FIRE: represents the Gol, the Mongolian Name for the Center of all being, of one’s own being; the jump-off point for Journeying to all places and Times. Its represents the Energy of Change and Transformation to the new from the destruction of the old. There are Pine Cones, for example, that will not release their Seeds until they are heated to a temperature that only a raging Fire can produce. Once the Fire is gone, these seeds take root to produce the next generation of Trees. “

See whatcha think!
(7/16) M'S RESPONSE TO THE NEW JOURNEYS: O.k. so here goes...there was so much in these wonderful journeys that it feels a little overwhelming to try to respond..

In the first Journey the mention of corn definitely stuck out. I made this pasta salad with corn in it and every time that I ate it these past couple days or so I would comment on how it needed more corn. And also, on the day that my Father went into Boston with me we were talking about food and his eating more healthfully and he said that corn had no nutritional value. This struck me as odd and I said " It's corn, it's got to have something to it". I just couldn't except that . So, I looked it up and I found that it does have nutritional value, not as much as some other vegetables, but it definitely did have some (protein, fiber, vit A, C, and B1 and B5, also phytonutrients which prevent cancer) and it is also beneficial for what it doesn't have or has little of (cholesterol, sodium).

Then, the explanation that you gave for the meaning of corn matches exactly with the explanation of turquoise and coral that I had read in the book that I had mentioned when you had preformed the first Journey. It said "turquoise represents spirituality (it's health, well-being, within an individual) and coral represents the "life" of spirituality" and together they bring about the grounding of the spiritual in everyday life. This, I know is Huge for me.

That my soul is trying to fragment was something that took me by surprise at first (Is this something that shamans come across often? Have you ever seen this before? why would this happen?) But, now that I think of it, it makes perfect sense. That is exactly how I feel. Very scattered, not able to draw my energy together, and hesitant and unsure of which direction to move in because there are so many things that I could do or see or be.

I preformed the candle ritual today. (Is it common for you to give tasks with candles when working with people?) When I first lit them I laid down to meditate and there was a bird outside in my back yard squawking insistently. There are ALWAYS birds in the back yard, we have bird feeders all over. But this bird felt like it wanted my attention so I sat up and looked out the window. It was a blue jay. As soon as I looked out he stopped his call and went about his business.
before I began the ritual I had to decide between two blue candles (one light, the other dark) . I felt like I should use the light one. When I saw the blue jay, who was the exact shade of blue as the candle I used I was confident that it was the right one.
After the ritual I looked up Blue Jay in Animal Speak and it said that Blue Jay stood for "proper use of power". It said that "it has the ability to link the heavens and the earth", this of course parallels the message you received in the 1st Journey that you performed for me. Also, there is mention of scattered energy and being a "dabbler". I completely identify with this and have been thinking a lot about it lately.
Also, as I was meditating I saw many things but, I kept seeing the image of a crown repeatedly. In the description of the Jay there is mention of the crest as a crown and also mention of royalty. In the other Journey you saw the flying Elephant which also stands for royalty (among other things). I am taking this to mean a coming into one's own power. Is that also how you see it? Am I missing any of the meaning behind this or do you have any insight that might help me to grasp this better?

When I preformed the ritual the blue candle burned twice as quickly as the rest (they were all the same candle different colors). So blue went out first, then white, then yellow, and then green. At the end I was left with a puddle of mostly green candle wax and blue (no trace of white or yellow).
7/17 LATER ON, M ADDS: I was reading a book today called "Legacy of Luna" by Julia Butterfly Hill. ( she is this amazing heroic woman who lived up in a Redwood tree for over 2 years! to bring attention to saving the old growth forests). And well, the short passage that I read today was about this really terrible storm that she had to survive up at the top of this 180 ft tree on a 5' by 7' plank covered only by a piece of blue tarp. At this point she had been up there for almost 100 days and she was feeling really worn down and scared and overwhelmed at the thought of having to bear the brunt of this storm. At first she was really scared and she latched on to one of the tree's branches and clung with every inch of her might, fighting against the wind. Then she heard Luna (the tree) speak to her and she said "Think of the trees in the storm. Learn the power of the trees. Let it flow. Let it go. That is the way you are going to make it through the storm. And that is that way you will make it through the storms of life." Of course she does just this, and with the passing of the storm a peace that could not be felt fully without going through the storm comes to her, and she is transformed.
I'm not sure if you can relate any of this to what you are going through right now. But, I really felt like I should send it along and I figured if it helps then, beautiful! if it doesn't then nothing lost. But, I really hope it does.
(7/20) M UPDATES HER CONDITION: Sorry that it has taken a while to get back. I heard from the Dr. yesterday. The official word is not in yet. My iodine scan came back negative, which would be great except that my PET scan did not. My thyroglobulin levels are elevated and she says that it is in all likelihood positive.
My doctor is supposed to call me tomorrow with their official determination. So...I am trying to remain calm and centered but, in all truthfulness that is probably the last thing that I am. Such a strange feeling, I feel everything at once, or maybe it is just moving so quickly from one spectrum to the other that the lines are blurred. All is one. The light is dark and the dark light. Everything seems very surreal, like being in a car accident...how it happens in a split second yet feels like slow-mo. Everything feels so quiet and still, eerie. which makes me feel completely present, yet not....the eye of the storm.
I have faith though...although it seems to be on the outer orbits of my existence, some where circling in this frenzy. I can sense it. It's there.
Just need to let go and realize that gravity is holding me...I won't be hurled out into space to tumble endlessly further and further out. I've got to Trust...
and I will, I mean, I do. Deeply, It's just removed at the moment.
So, needless to say I will have to get back about the 2nd journey. Focusing is not really in the cards at the moment.
7/21 ANOTHER UPDATE FROM M: I did hear back from my Dr. today and the feedback that she had for me today was so much more positive than what she had said on Wednesday. That is, they have not deemed the test positive, or negative. Yes, if it had been determined positive this would mean that there would be another tumor. (actually 2 in this case, as there are 2 spots lighting up). There would have been a huge difference in this diagnosis from in the last tumor though. The treatment that is typically used to treat thyroid cancer is radioactive iodine, and this is usually very effective as a treatment because it completely destroys thyroid tissue (and only thyroid tissue). But if a thyroid cancer is not taking up iodine, (as in the negative iodine scan might suggest) this effective treatment is rendered obsolete. Other treatments (chemo and radiation) can be used but are often, but not always, unsuccessful.
There is also the fact that my thyroglobulin levels are elevated. Thyroglobulin is usually used after RAI (Radioactive Iodine) treatment to track any reoccurrence of tumor. But, a very small percentage of people produce antibodies, which can cause interference with the thy-glob levels. I happen to be one of those people. So, basically what this means is that while these elevated levels are suspicious, they can not be relied upon.
The next steps are to retest these levels at a few different labs, including one in CA that specializes in these tests, and see if there are any differences in the #'s. If there are then it can most likely be concluded that these have no bearing on what these small spots are.
Also I have to go in for an MRI so that they can compare scans.
(7/7) M'S RESPONSE TO JOURNEY 2:
A Journey taken at M’s Request to check the breaking of her Coral and Turquoise Healing Necklace. She was concerned this would have a detrimental effect on her Healing, and although I felt it would not, I decided I would make sure. A very interesting Journey ensued:

As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace.

- The day that I ended up reading this I woke up in the morning and the necklace was hanging around my neck with just the clasp undone. It did end up breaking a few times more before the 3 weeks were up but, I was able to fix it.

I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1.

- The reason I had asked about the candle rituals and whether or not it was common for you to give these tasks was because a couple of months ago I started gathering different color candles a little at a time and got a candle spell book. I never actually preformed any spells or rituals though, until the first one the spirit gave.

I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it.

- This image of the name plate and also of the tombstone that you saw in the house from the first journey that said "Anger" brought to mind an experience that I had a little after my meeting with the other shaman woman who had journeyed on my behalf. I went to this spot in the cemetery where I and a group of friends used to go quite often. The first time that I was shown this place was the first day of a huge end and beginning for me and I felt called to go there. A crow came and landed in the tree near me and was cawing at me. So I spoke to it and said "show me what I need to know". I followed it across the cemetery until it stopped in a tree and started again to caw at me. I stood there for a sec. then went over to a wall directly underneath the crow but I wasn't understanding so I walked away a little bit and looked back. The headstone that I had been standing next to directly under the crow said MY last name. And it struck me right away, went right through me. At first I felt a little uneasy but I interpreted it to mean the death of my old life and the birth of a new. And I think that this is all connected.

I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M also.”

- That the little girl and I have the same name means so much! I can draw so many parallels of the little girl's experience to my own life. Metaphorically of course.

I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…)

- WOW! Yay! I was wondering if you could say about how old little M was.

Suddenly Little M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, Little M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire.

- When I was younger, about 15 or so, I had a fire in my room. I had lit a candle and fallen asleep. Some woke me. I didn't see or here anyone but I sensed a presence wake me. The room was so thick with smoke that I couldn't even find my own door. I had to feel along the wall and afterward you could see my black hand prints all along the wall. Maybe this is connected? Maybe I came closer to death in that moment then I even realized.

Soon, it became a Forest on Fire.

- This reminds me of when I was little... I used to imagine that on the other side of my door was a magical forest. I used to draw pictures of it. I really wondering if this room of fire may have been my room as a kid in the spirit world...Oh wow, an image of "Sarah" from the "Labyrinth", when she finds the place in the Labyrinth that looks like her room (remember?) just came over me.
We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her.

- Ken, I believe that this is what has come to fruition in these past couple of days. The way I see it I grew up with patterns of emotional repression (My Father) and deep denial (My Mother). My Mother has never asked me anything about the cancer and leaves the room every time I try to talk about it. Anyway, I eventually developed (because of all of my bottled up emotions) a denial of anything that could be considered "dark" about myself. I refused to admit my true feelings, first to my Mother and Father because I did not want to be rejected or ignored anymore and then to myself. On the 1st day that I talked to my Dr. she did not sound reassuring. I think that I could have stayed "calm", for lack of a better word. (When I first found out I had cancer I went skydiving for the 1st time. When I landed on the ground not a drop of adrenaline had gone through my system, I wanted to see how strong I could be.) That’s not what I needed to do (to stay calm). I needed to feel what ever it was that came through and I did, I let go. I needed to feel my light and dark, my strength and weakness. I realized that I am NOT afraid of dying. I never have been... I've always been afraid of living and it occurred to me that if I were to leave now that my life will have been wasted. On Friday when I heard back from the Dr. she had a completely different tone. I felt a relief that I can't even explain afterward. I was like a giddy child. I feel better then I have in a long while. EVERYTHING is beautiful and I am SO Thankful that I can see and feel this now. I thought it before, I was aware of it before, now I KNOW...Joyful Awe would be the perfect way to sum it up.

The Tiger has also come through. I feel a renewed sense of passion.. for life definitely but, also a creative passion I have not felt in a long time. So many beautiful images. I think the challenge here is to stay "devoted" to this new found passion, and to stay "balanced" within it.

I then saw a heavy, older Man walking out of M and turn into a young Boy.

- This I immediately related to, I can definitely be too analytical, too hard. With myself and I must admit in a way with others as well. But I think that the boy has stepped forward more now.

Then, M disappeared. We were then back at the Castle. We walked by it instead of into it. I could still here the Toad running around within. Little M, Utawa and I then headed out for the transit Log.

- So, the little girl is definitely in a better place now as she so deserves to be...Thank Goodness! I hope that she is surrounded by the most loving beings! and I'm sure that she is.

Suddenly, I caught a Spear, similar to the one that had almost killed me the first Time I was in this Castle, with my right Hand, without even looking behind to see it coming. This showed I had conquered this Place and its occasional Illness Spirits.

- This is also WONDERFUL! to hear, that you have come out of that place stronger.

We crossed back to where we started, and found numerous, gorgeous purple Flowers. Then, there were yellows. Finally, red-orange Colors. This looked as if we were walking Top to Bottom through an Aura. The final Glimpse I had was that these Flowers were in a prestigious College-like Setting. The Call Back then sounded.

- Oh, yes...something else I forgot to mention. Yesterday I came across a tarot card. This certain deck had the "High Priestess" pictured with a black column to one side of her and a White column to the other! The black column had a "B" on it and the white an "L" on it. (Black and Light? don't know)
8/6: ME TO HER: Hi, M. I performed a Divination for you today and it was a very positive one. Like rain falling onto the flowers, it said. Good things are coming your way! Things are to get better. You will have a long period of happiness. But once again they are asking you to burn 13 sticks of incense in thanks for this good fortune. So what you are going through now is temporary. :)
8/7: Thank You Ken...
I already feel better. Actually I started to feel more up yesterday so I burnt some incense before I received your message, offering the smoke to the spirits to enjoy as you had said to do before.
I think that shall count for #1 and the rest I will do one a day for 12 more days.
"Like rain falling down onto the flowers" ..that is beautiful!!!
I heard from my doctor today and the MRI came back clear, that is they found nothing unusual or suspicious. My doctors have never seen anything like this before...
but they seem fairly certain that it is just some fluke thing
.
Yes, this certainly does deserve a big "Thank You"! and I truly am very thankful. I have felt much closer to spirit lately. Like my intentions and prayers have been connecting much more... Much closer. I can feel them around me, and I thank you for being there for me and helping me get to this point.

I have started to ease into a qigong practice again and I also have started to perform rituals as I feel guided to. I have so much to learn and I'm excited to learn it.
8/16: I am doing very well, of course difficulties and obstacles both inwardly and outwardly arise but, I feel as if I am moving through them instead of trying to avoid them. I really feel like I am working with and in these energies breaking them up a little at a time. And as you mentioned, making friends with them. Accepting them and not giving them the power and fear that I used to associate with them but, seeing them as the gifts and challenges that will make me a better person and even loving them for that fact. I am learning a lot and giving Thanks every day.
----------------------------------
SPIRIT SISTER'S GROWTH DISAPPEARS

12/7/04: At the request of my Spirit Sister, I took a Journey this evening to investigate a new physical ailment she herself is suffering from. Her physician has reported a misplaced ovary with a possible growth (“one of my ovaries is way out of place and has something attached to it”), which must be checked via ultrasound a week from this Thursday. My Spirit Sister asked me to check it out in advance so she’d be better prepared. So I took a quick Hollow Bone Journey as taught a few weeks ago when the Bone was first given to me. I opened Sacred Space quickly with my Rattle and lit the Sacred Candle after a quick Smudging. As I went into the Journey, I found myself standing at the entrance of the Bone with my Barred Owl Guide, Eagle Claw. As we went in, the interior took on the appearance of a hospital testing room. I saw Sister lying down on her back on a hospital bed while a male attendant checked out her lower abdomen. I walked around to look at the TV screen, but was unable to interpret the view. The attendant showed no emotion either way while viewing the screen, and so I cannot get a good reading on just how serious the issue is. However, my personal view is that no reaction is a good reaction. I then foresaw a small operation, and saw Anne recuperating at home, apparently in January based on the sunlight and weather..it seemed like January at least in terms of its look. Then, as Eagle Claw and I were moving back out of the Bone, thinking we were finished, the interior unexpectedly darkened completely, with only a few scattered wall adornments shining as if lit by a black light. My Sister, still lying on the bed, was the only object seemingly lit from above. I then saw a Dark Being hovering over her, reaching into her lower left abdomen. Anne has an Entity attached! I was quite surprised. Eagle Claw and I then immediately increased our Aural strength to keep out any unwanted imprints from this Being. The Being spotted us and checked us out, but we were safe within the Rainbow Walls of the Aural Field. I then began my female Chant, and saw Woman in a Grass Dress, my Amazonian Helper, move over to sit beside Sister, up by her left shoulder. The Entity then retreated to a rear wall..I could see its eyes staring blankly as its power over Sister was checked. She is now safe from any further intrusions, but I must do a full journey to discover the nature of this Visitor.

12/8/04: This afternoon I took the follow-on Journey for Spirit Sister. My intent was to discover the identity of and then escort the Entity hovering over her back to the Spirit Camp. I performed a more lengthy Rattling to open Sacred space, more in keeping with tradition. I then Smudged and lit the Sacred Candle. I then set up a 15-minute Drum Loop, and breathed Shamanically for an extra long time to ensure I was totally relaxed and receptive. I was soon standing on a dirt road leading up to the entrance of the Hollow Bone, in which I saw Sister yesterday. There were several hundred people lining the road on both sides, right up to the entrance. I saw Barred Owl and Eagle zooming around in circles above the entrance, beckoning me to approach. I was dressed as a Native American Warrior, with my crystal resting on my right front thigh in a deerskin sheath. The people were all looking at me..I was apparently their champion. I then raised my arms to the Sky Father and brought down several gigantic lightning bolts onto the top of the Bone. I then walked up the dirt road to the entrance. There I was met by my own Spirit Guardian, Two Feathers. At this point I was wondering exactly what I was in for..this was quite the unusual Crowd, dress, and approach, and I had my three main Guides with me for my protection. I had a temporary feeling I was going inside that Bone to wrestle with my own Dark Force, my biggest nemesis to date. Two Feathers blew Sage and Sweet Grass on me as I went inside. The Woman in a Grass Dress was now standing over Anne, and in full human form. As she saw me approach, she left. I looked, and the Entity was still standing at the rear wall. He approached me and stared very closely into my eyes. I then decided to back off and open up Sacred Space over Sister and myself as I moved to her right side. I then lifted the entire Bone up through the Sky and out into Space, among the Stars. From there I was quickly transported to a scene from the South, from some time in the recent past. There was a southern-style mansion in the distance, with a large field leading down to a huge tree under which I was standing. I saw a young boy of 5-7 then appear, and saw that he had just choked to death on what I feel was an acorn he tried to swallow whole. I then was revealed to me that the Spirit of this Boy then reached through time to take hold of Sister when she was living in the South and more Spiritually vulnerable. He literally reached through time to get to her now, even though in Earth years we are at least several decades along from his Death. He jumped instantaneously into the now, since in the Spirit World time is quite the flexible to non-existent property. It seems the Boy was totally lacking in any sort of Feminine Balancing Energy, and was seeking this Energy from her. We then were back in the Bone Cave. I took my Crystal Wand and absorbed the Entity. My Wand was then glowing with a flesh color! I took the Wand outside and called down a Lightning Strike to remove the Entity’s Spirit and transmute it to the Spirit Camp. I barely recall the actual Strike, but not the Transmutation, though. However, I remember my own Body twitching sharply on the bed at this point..a jolt of some magnitude. I then found myself on a River’s Bank, gently running the tip of the Wand across and through the surface, to release the Entity into Water. This is the preferred method for doing this, so perhaps the Lightning Strike was a non-effective idea. I then found myself in an old Mexican courtyard, and saw a religious Woman approach me fully dressed in a White and Blue habit. She brought me a small, golden Box. She opened it to reveal a searingly-white Heart Shape within. She told me this was part of the heart Energy of Sister’s Power Animal, the White Eagle, and that she should keep this box close to her at all times..in her Mind and Spirit, obviously. I then saw myself assisting in giving Sister injections of Papaya Juice, directly into her abdomen, surrounding her growth. I remember wondering what properties papaya could possibly have to reverse the course of the Growth’s Life. I then saw Sister standing, completely surrounded by a healthy Aura. I then turned and walked out of the Bone. The People who had been lining the Road disappeared as I fell to the Ground in humility. I got the impression they were with Sister in some way, as if she were their Medicine Woman. Now that she was healed, they all went on their way. I thanked all my Guides and Helpers and soon thereafter the Call Back sounded. I believe I was shown one more unrelated image or two before the Call Back, but can’t remember it/them. I shall run my actual Crystal Wand in water to cleanse whatever is left of the Entity so it can go home totally in one piece and in one peace.

Here is Sister’s response later in the same evening of the 8th: “Thank you! A boy…how interesting! There were lots of weak aura times while I was living in the South, so it would not surprise me to have had him attach during that time. Poor kid…thanks for sending him home. I could tell when I was at Disciple tonight that a weight was lifted. My energy started returning and my outlook improved and I thought, “I’ll bet Ken found the time to do the journey.”

Here’s a link to the healing properties of papaya. http://www.europeanvegetarian.org/evu/english/news/news001/papaya.html. [Ed Note: This site is replete with praise for the healing qualities of papaya for many illnesses, including cancer!] Now I’ll have to find a place that has them. Apparently there are both Mexican and Hawaiian variants. Since there was a Mexican connection in the journey, I’m assuming I should go for the Mexican papaya if I can find it.

Interesting about the crowd. The number is about the size of the active membership at my Church, so maybe that’s who they were. And another mention of the eagle on the day that my Florida family writes me that the eagles have begun setting on the nest. They had no young last year at all, so that’s very good news…even more so since their old nest got blown down in one of Florida’s many hurricanes this summer. They had to start from scratch and build a new one…guess it paid off! Maybe it will be a white baby…

Thank you again for following your path and helping me to follow mine in health!”

I then reminded Sister it was the Helpers who passed all this valuable info along, that I was merely the channel. I also mentioned that a White Eaglet would cause quite the stir! Subsequent reading concerning Acorn’s in Ted Andrew’s Nature Speak reveals Acorn to be the symbol of strong male Energy and a source of great strength for Spiritual and other activities!!

12/16: Here are the results of the ultrasound (it appears the Helpers did a REALLY good job!): “She said it appeared that there had been a small cyst on one ovary that had burst during my last cycle. She didn’t see why the woman who did my exam thought there was an enlargement of the uterus, as everything else looked normal..”
----------------------------------
DAUGHTER'S ILLNESS

3/2/05: A quite noteworthy mini-Journey that deserves a write-up all of its own. My daughter was VERY sick today. From the time I got home at 4 PM through about 9:30, she was running a fever of at least 102.5, and nothing was bringing it down. She had just enough Energy to lie like a Stone and groan. She never asked me to intervene in so many words, but I seem to recall her asking if anything could be done. I thought she meant medicinally, and I couldn’t think of anything outside a cool bath. This was early in the period, and I didn’t really think to intervene “Shamanically.” Not, that is, until about 9:45 at night, when I finally decided this might not be a virus at all, but an invader! So I performed an impromptu Journey, something more established Shamans are capable of. I sat in my computer chair with my pup on my lap and sank into the Shamanic “trance”, with no external aides such as drumming. I saw Owl fly in from my left almost immediately, from a grouping of Branches lit with gorgeous fall Leaves. He and I went immediately to a clearing where I saw a Dark Being with glowing red eyes stomping either on my daughter or stomping in a tight circle around her. I took out my Mirror, which is always with me in the Spirit World, and held it up to the Being. He immediately found himself being sucked into the Mirror as a flow of black Energy. Owl and I then took the mirror over to the River of Life to our left and placed the Mirror face down in the water. Instantly, a long streamlet of red blood flowed from the Mirror and then ran downstream as an elongated pool of red. Soon thereafter, it turned into a dazzling display of rainbow colors. I knew the entity had been transmuted to good. My daughter was now entity-free, and I knew she would feel a lot better the next day.

3/3/05: I heard that my daughter felt well enough to go to school today. When she got home, I asked how she felt. She immediately asked if I had said a “Prayer” for her last night. I nodded yes, and proceeded to describe the above Journey. It turns out that shortly after my Journey she had gotten up and went to take some Nyquil. She was so dizzy she could not even stand up. I believe some of this dizziness was caused by the Entity extraction. The last time I performed work on her, she had episodes of hot and cold flashes. The Nyquil could be said to have aided in her very quick recovery (she was normal in temp and ability today), but I know that removing the Entity was the major part of her Healing, for one does of Nyquil has never worked THAT well in my experience. I’m not trying to ignore its possible effects here, but I know what I saw and did on my Journey, and am confident that played the key role here. I didn’t tell her earlier about my Work on her for I tend to wait with Family Members to see if the Healing occurs..don’t know why I do that..guess I don’t want to contaminate the results.

----------------------------------------------
WIFE'S TUMMY


8/9/04: A Journey to help my Wife with her tummy and throat problems. These popped up the morning after we took my Mom out to eat for her birthday last Thursday night, and had made it almost impossible for her to eat over the weekend, including a big family party we had Sunday. I figured food poisoning, but didn’t get the chance to Journey until Monday. I prepared as always, and went in for a 10-minute Drum loop. I found myself sitting on my Azurite Stone on a bookshelf in some house, next to a sunny Window. I was so tiny that the Stone (all of an inch long) appeared as a huge rocky Hill, and I could see my reflection in its shiny facets...in this life all of ¼ mm or less in width. Owl then came to the window, paused briefly on the sill, then shrank down himself to my size. He himself manufactured our Journey Tunnel this time, by creating a spray of his own Feathers that grew higher and higher, out the window and up to the sky. We flew up through this circling-feather cylinder and emerged onto a platform of a glass-like Flooring, with real Clouds, but thin and blue, serving as the Walls. Suddenly before me was a very large Scallop, with red lines (Red Tide bacteria?) coursing through various parts of its surface. So it WAS the scallops! Two herb names then floated by me: Mullein and Peppermint. (These were to help my Wife heal, no doubt. We have Peppermint Tea, so I gave her some to take to work the next day.) I checked to see if her Power Animal Raccoon could help, but even though present in a far corner of this “room”, he was occupied with other of my Wife's issues. So Hummingbird, her other PA, arrived..and did the most remarkable thing. She came right up to me eyes and stuck her long beak into each pupil, filling them with Mana, or Spirit Essence. I then found myself inside my Wife’s upper tract and tummy. I ran my hands in circles across her Throat and Stomach lining for several minutes, pouring yellow healing Light through my hands into her tissues. I was also physically moving my hands through the air above my bed at the same time..recall we are still partially in the conscious world during Journeys. Owl and I then traveled back through the Feather Tunnel, and I ended up at my Wife’s work, and saw her working at her desk. I delivered some of that healing Energy to her directly. At this point, the work was done, for my mind began racing toward the installation of Ma’s new computer. At this point, the Call Back Drumming sounded, and I thanked my Helpers and was back.

Cool to report: My Wife came home from work the same evening and told me she started feeling much better in the early afternoon, the time of this Journey…in fact, she relates that she actually felt the massaging going on in her tummy area at the time.

------------------------------------------------------

Shamanic Shape-Shifting for Healing Attempt

3/4/05: A Journey to investigate the dark area in a Woman’s Aura I spotted during our Restoration Ceremony of Feb 25. This area corresponds roughly to an area where she has a physical manifestation of this Energy field. So, I Smudged the Room. Lit the Sacred Candle and Rattled Sacred Space into place. Wearing my Mirror for Energy and Protection, I was off.

Most interestingly, I was met right off the bat by Angshwa, my White Owl Guide. He was the Guide I met when I performed my very first Journey for Janie. This Guide seems to have a personal interest in the Woman’s Well-Being, for while I did not even have him in mind for this particular Journey, nonetheless he had volunteered. And here he was, swooping down right in front of me as we both occupied the space at the top of a bunch of close and tall, snow covered Pine Trees. We looked below, and way down there, in the middle of a small clearing, I could see a well-lit cabin. It was quite dark there, for the yellow lights in the windows really stood out. As we descended toward this cabin, however, it turned into a large Fire. When we got to the surface, I saw four Dark Beings sitting around this Fire. It appeared as if they were trying to warm themselves, but I saw one place his hand directly in the Fire with absolutely no result. No burning, no pain. I then realized these beings were totally cut off from the Fire of Life, but were still seeking it. Owl and I stood off to the side, watched and waited. I wasn’t sure whether to intervene with these Beings or not, and decided waiting was indeed the best thing. Suddenly, a large Wolf emerged from the woods. He was quite unhappy and was snarling at the Fire and the Beings around it. He moved up to and slowly paced round the Fire, as if sensing the Beings there but unable to see them. He did, however, spot Angshwa and I and came over to visit with us. He became friendly with us and especially my Guardian, Gray Wolf, and they sort of hit it off. Angshwa and I then looked right, and saw an opening in the woods through which a snow-covered road led. This road went over a small, frozen creek via a small bridge with minimal height and wooden rails on either side. I then saw a body float up and press against the clear ice covering the creek. I sensed there were more bodies beneath this one, and that the Beings at the Fire were spirits of these Bodies. They had obviously died unnaturally. Most remarkably, I then saw the two sisters leaning against the rails and looking out across the creek. I then sensed that a bit of the Dark Energy from these Beings crept into the Twins, unaware of the invasion. Hence, they were not hit with a full Entity invasion, but Imprints were left. It almost appeared to have happened by chance.,they just happened to be there as that Energy drifted by. At this point, there was a pause in the Journey. Perhaps Angshwa went back for guidance. In any case, when we both were back together, I was shown the Woman has had a rainbow colored Wreath of Energy placed around her head. This will be there for the next two weeks. My duty is to place Spiritual Sage into the Rainbow Wreath from here on a daily basis, to keep it fresh. This Wreath will gradually absorb the dark Imprint in the Woman’s Aura. I shall gladly do this. At this point, the Journey was over.

4/8/05:Hi,
Hope you all had a nice Easter, we had a house full.
I have been so busy, that’s why I didn’t email sooner, but I wanted to get your thoughts on a ‘dream’ I had near the end of the sage placement you did for me. It wasn’t a dream as I would normally call it, but more like a vision. As I was sleeping, and I saw a pair of eyes so close to my face looking at me, but they weren’t human eyes, they were eyes of a bird, I thought a eagle or hawk, and right behind the him, was an owl, and the owls eyes were coming closer to my face along side the eagle / hawk. I was so startled by this that I woke up, I looked at the clock and I was about 7 am. It took me a few days to realize, but I must have been thinking of you and your helper. Do you think I could have had a vision of you, Hawk and your helper, Angshwa ??
There is no rush on this, I just thought you would find this interesting, and then it might have been just a thought in the back of my mind.
Well, you guys have a great weekend, we plan on going hiking with the dog tomorrow and enjoy the outdoors, Talk soon,

My Reply: Your vision is nothing short of thrilling, for I performed your final 6 or 7 visits [to work on the growth by your ear] as a Hawk in the early morning, around 5 AM. I would shape shift into Hawk, fly over to your house, circle around you and chant while placing the Sage, and then fly back. There can be little doubt but that you actually saw me as Hawk in your vision. As far as Owl goes, it’s also truly amazing, for I would run into Owl on some of my flights over there. There was one morning in particular where we flew together for a while. Could very well have been Angshwa, or else Eagle Claw, my Upper World Guide. Thanks for telling me this, for it makes sense for you now..and gives me more confidence in my shape-shifting skills.

4/27/06:Hi,
I just wanted to let you know that I had a good report from the Drs. Yesterday. The tumor has shrunk in size again and I don’t have to have another MRI until May 2008JJ
Many thanks for all you’ve done! You really know your stuff!!!

Personal Close Calls on Journeys

Not Allowed to Overcome a Spirit of Cancer


1/24/04: This afternoon’s Journey was to see if I could negotiate a surrender, so to speak, with a dear friend's mom’s disease. I prepared the room with Sage and Sweet Grass, and also shook my Rattle to the three levels of each of the 7 Directions to set up an even more Sacred Space. I lit my Candle to ensure the presence of the Good Light while I was gone. I used Shamanic Breathing to increase my Mana supply and to relax. I used the long version of the Meadows CD for the actual Journey. While I was relaxing, I sent the protective shield of my Luminous Body over to cover her mom as well, so nothing I did would inadvertently hurt her. But I also restricted this covering to protection only, so that none of each other’s energies would use it as a bridge to reach the other. I met Hawk, and we took off together. We flew higher, and eventually saw a Cloud Person with a purple entry hole. We headed into this Tunnel. The sides were made of hard rainbow chunks with rather sharp edges, and as we soared through this Tunnel I felt myself melding my Spirit more with the Hawk’s so that we would be almost one Being. We emerged onto a flat plain where the ground was made of broken chunks of small-stone-sized, cloudy Quartz Crystal pieces stuck together for as far as the eye could see. A short distance away, I saw a large building made of the same materials that was about 4 stories high with turrets..a mini castle. The windows and door were as foreboding a black color as I had ever seen. I sat on a bench and Eagle Claw came up to sit next to me. He grabbed my hand and held it, as if giving me courage to go to the door. When I got there, just as I put my foot over the threshold, I felt as if I was slipping down into a chasm..a feeling of falling, being pulled in. I quickly realized I needed Guides with me, so I called on Gray Wolf and Two Feathers to stay on either side of me. They arrived, took up their positions, and we went in. Movement through the black slog was quite slow and tedious, a testimony to how black and thick this energy was. It was completely dark for a few minutes. Then, off to the right, we saw a very dark blue outline of a table. We walked over to it and sat down, hoping to meet with the Spirit of the Disease. It did show up, but immediately set about to trying to invade my Aura. I felt a strong tingling in my body as my Aura resisted, and I had a feeling of energy depletion and sinking. The three of us strengthened our Spirit Bodies to resist, using my Eagle Claw chant to call in the extra Rainbow Light. I actually had to determinedly call my Rainbow Aura to mind to give it enough power to make it visible enough to overcome the darkness feeling and surroundings. As it was, my Aura was very close to me and very distinct, as if being compressed from without. Then, on one wall, I saw a blue outline of a coffin with her mom already in it. Did this mean we were going to fail? I was then taken up to the top floor, to one of the turret windows. There, a human-sized White Being with no features appeared. It pointed out the window, and I went to look. The stars were all transmitting rainbow shafts of light down to the area, and the outside of the building and the ground were dancing in the colors. I sensed the White Being wanted me to ask it for help, but very slowly. So I said, “I am Four Hawks and I would like to ask this Disease’s Spirit if it will let go of my friend’s mom” in a very slow way. As I finished, the White Being stood aside to consider. I suddenly saw a point of darkness ahead of me, and a spear came rushing toward me and penetrated my Aura. It was the Disease attacking me again. Once more, I felt the sinking feeling as I tingled. I tried to remove the Spear but could not as my energy drained, so I asked Two Feathers and Gray Wolf to pull it out for me. They did, and they patched up the hole in my Aura. This is why one should always have Spirit Helpers along. I sensed from this response that there was no way the Disease will voluntarily give up. I then saw a series of images. I saw Robins flying over mom and also our friends' house, an instruction to send Robin Medicine their way. I placed my Woman in a Dress over mom’s face and sang the Woman’s chant, to try to ease mom’s travel. I saw a gray haired man waiting patiently on the other side of a glass door..mom’s Spirit Escort? I saw the shape of a Horse’s head, calling to mind my own humble beginnings as a Shaman way back when..and the last thing I saw was a small Spider, the creating one, center of the Web. For most of my time in this building, I could not help thinking about how aggressive and depleting this Disease felt to me. As I came back, I grounded my Aura firmly to Mother Earth and soaked up her Fire Medicine. I felt a wild electricity running through my Body, evidence of Cleansing. I called on the Green Elixir to pour over me and remove any hint of the Disease I might have picked up. I thanked all my Guides and Guardians for their help and protection. When I came back to my feet, I literally doused myself with Sage Smoke for cleansing and negative energy removal, cleaned my Chakras, and reshaped my Aura with my Eagle Feather. Even an hour after the event, the disturbing nature of this Disease is still in my mind. I am glad I made this extraordinary Journey, as I felt it was my duty, but this is really the first one I have come back from feeling very humbled and somewhat disturbed. This is the true Path of a Shaman Healer, for there are times when one cannot heal and places oneself in danger of being hurt oneself. I’m very glad I had learned through study how to react and protect myself. I realized also that I never tried to heal her..that was not the purpose of this journey. I was hoping for a voluntary departure. I shall try to heal her using my more traditional Methods, taught to me in prior Journeys. I’m not sure I’m ready to head back into this Disease and take it on in Battle just yet. I’ll await Guidance from Dreams and Cards for that.

---------------------------------------------------

Beating a Generational Curse

1/23/04: Tonight’s Journey was in response to the earlier inspiration I had on the road today that a dark Force or Being had been attached to my family for generations, and it was now time to find out what it was and dispel it. While all of us have been successful, we’ve all had a degree of failure in our lives that speaks of something attacking us at key moments, preventing us from reaching our goals and full potential. The fact a rare and very bright red Ancestor Bird flew right in front of me as I was considering this reinforced my perception. I knew that if there were such a Force/Being, it would be a tough fight that I might lose as I could sense it was very powerful, but I prayed the rest of the afternoon and prepared myself in case I found the time tonight. And I did. I smudged the room with both Sage and Sweet Grass, and called in the Spirits to assist me. I left a note saying that if I did not return, for my wife to get a Shaman from the local Native store to get me back. But I was not about to shun this great challenge, as I felt it was up to me alone to deal with this. For added safety, I took a small round Stone Person that had been sitting in front of my Pipe, and held it in my left hand for grounding during my away time. I used the longer version of the Meadows drumming CD by earphones, lit a candle and turned out the lights and began. I was wired at first, so to calm down during the prep drumming I used the Shamanic Breath and concentrated on my mission: to discover if there was generational Dark Force, and if so to dispel it. As I lay there, I called up the Spirit Guides and Totems I had decided earlier in the day to take with me: Gray Wolf, Alligator (Snaps Shut) and Snake (Crosses in Front), as well as Hawk. We met in the back yard but had a false start or two..there didn’t seem to be the right opening. The normal openings seemed irrelevant. Suddenly I spotted a very old hole to my right, and suggested we try it. It was obviously very aged, and had a crusty, worn and tattered look to it. We ventured down this Tunnel together, and it was immediately quite dark. On all other Journeys there were lights and roots and the like, and the Tunnels were quite pleasant. This one was just plain dark. As we went down further there was just no light whatsoever. Suddenly, coming out of the darkness a bit to my left was a Deer with very shiny golden eyes. It came up to my left ear and whispered that I needed to strengthen my Aura more. So, I took myself out of the Tunnel and off to the Tree of Life I had visited in an earlier Journey, and partook of the Mana globes, also stuffing a few into my Skull eye sockets to ward off any fears of Death. I then returned to the Tunnel and we went further in. As we did so, we seemed to cross some sort of invisible barrier or membrane, and we were suddenly back in my room. As I lay in the bed, I sensed the presence of the Dark Force right in the room with me, filling almost the entire space before me. I found myself taking its perspective and looking back at me and my Guides. I could see us sitting together on my bed, protected by a Rainbow Aura that covered us all as one essence. I saw us shrinking down to a very small size as the Force tried to get rid of us in one easy swoop by reducing us to nothing. I quickly hopped back to my position inside the Aura and asked the Force who or what it was. Suddenly, I saw in my mind’s eye a scene in what must have been Sicily or a similar Mediterranean place. I saw an older gentleman kneeling on the ground, putting the finishing touches on the makeshift grave of a baby girl. I sensed this was an act of cover-up, that perhaps the baby had been eliminated to save money or because it was an unwanted girl versus a needed boy..hard to say. I saw the Dark Being move in from behind and actually attach itself to this man as he did his work. I readied myself for Battle, convinced I had found the source of our “curse.” I fashioned a glowing Spear that contained the Fire Medicine of the Core of Mother Earth. I fashioned arrows glowing with the Power of Grandfather Sun. With those Two Fire Powers, my Fire Medicine was balanced and complete. Suddenly, hundreds (if not more) Dark Being Birds started soaring down at me from above. The sky and ground literally turned black with the huge number of attackers. I pumped my Aura up, and as I did so could actually feel my Earth Body tingling with Energy as I lay in the bed, and held my Stone Person tighter. I sent my Allies Wolf, Snake and Alligator into the fray to begin destroying the Dark Birds. I also used my Spear to do likewise. Hawk was circling well above us, and turning into each the Four Directions colors as it passed through each quadrant, indicating the Powers of those Grandfathers were working from above as we fought below. At one point the Dark Bird coverage got so thick I felt myself completely enveloped and being lifted off the ground. I then saw my Teacher, Eagle Claw, above me, and he was huge. He stomped down onto the scene. He reminded me by his presence to begin my healing chant he had given me a few months ago, and so I repeated Westu Waja Wasaji over and over, calling in Rainbow Light to eat up the Darkness. The Darkness was rapidly dispelled at this point, and the sky brightened back up and the ground returned to its normal green and brown self. I saw Alligator and Wolf lying dead(?) beside me from the Battle, and I moved my hand over them to restore them to life. I then invoked the Prayer given me by and to use with my “Woman in a Dress” from the Amazon (given me by Charlotte). By chanting Sheshi Wasaji Omapu over and over, I freed the Spirit of the Baby Girl that had been buried. Interesting enough, after the Journey I happened to look up at the Woman hanging on my wall, and one of the Feathers that had been pointing upward all along was now on its side, indicating the Spirit of the Woman had actually left the Wall hanging to join me in the Journey. I then turned my attention to the Grandfather, who was still kneeling there. He had a large Snake with evil-looking eyes protruding from his midsection where his penis should have been. The snake was at least 1 ½ feet long. This told me for sure that the curse had been transmitted through the act of procreation over the generations, guaranteeing its effectiveness..clever. I sent Alligator and Snake to destroy this Being. At this point, the Grandfather and the Ground were both clean, and the former disappeared. He might have finally gone to the Light, so to speak. I then scratched my Shaman Symbol into the ground where the Baby had been buried to secure the site for only good acts, protected by good Shaman Medicine. I then began to pray for removal of the curse from all the generations, from then to now through history. I had no idea how far back this event was. I found myself viewing the wheel of time, and I saw a bright red streak flow through a small section of the Energy Disc of Life as if it was erasing part of the data. I assumed it was that part of history that contained this event and the curse through time afterward. I then saw a green streak flow in right over the same place on the Disc. I was then aware of this huge Bowl hanging over my head, pouring an emerald green substance down all over me. This was washing away my curse energies. I then prayed that this healing Elixir would flow over all the people in my family effected by this Dark Energy curse. I never got to meet a physical Being in this endeavor, and have concluded therefore that it was an Energy presence versus an Entity. The wonderful feeling I had as I was washed clean of this “curse-to-make-us-fail” is still with me as I write this summary a day later. In a rather mature action, I took on the Force that had been attached to us since before most of us were born, and only a Shaman could have righted this problem. I was thrilled I survived. As I got to my first stop today, no Crows were in the Tree next to the building, but I did hear two caws. That made me walk out to find out where the Crow actually was. As I did so, a HUGE Gull flew up off the ground and right before me, looped around the top of the building, and then flew right back down again. At first I thought it was a Heron due to its size and slow wing thrusts. But as Sea Gull symbolized freedom, it was a great thrill to see my being freed of this curse made manifest by the freedom Spirit Bird whose presence had been announced to me by my announcer Spirit Bird. Later on the route, a small Hawk flew up from the marsh to my right and right over my car as I drove. I trust my brothers and sisters felt this healing moment, but had no idea what was happening.

--------------------------------------------

Rescuing a Soul Piece, while Jesus Watches...

1/6/06: A Journey taken at a Client's request to determine the source of his current debilitating weakness..

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself at a Train Station. The Train was stopped and sitting before me. It was Twilight, or very late Afternoon. I saw Owl sitting on one of the Seat Rails. I saw my Client, sitting alone on the Car, staring out the Window. The Windows had blinds, and many of them were drawn. The Train took off. We sped into a dark Tunnel. We came to a Stop at A Station where a ghostly Porter stood. He came to the Door and announced to us it was Time to get off: ”Sir, this is your Stop!” When we did, we found ourselves inside a Station full of religious Icons, Statues and Artifacts. My Client went up to the Base of this huge Collection and knelt, and prayed. Owl then took me aside and pulled me up through the Stone Hill that served as the Station’s Roof. We went to the Top of this mini-Mountain. There, I found a large, burning Cross. The Flames appeared not to be of Fire, but of Spirit Energy taking on that Appearance. A deep Voice emerged from the Flames. “So, Shaman, we meet again,” it said. “Yes,” I said, “and my brother is in great Pain.” The Voice answered, “Many pray to me through the Statues and Icons, but don’t know how to hear my Answers!” At this Point, Jesus emerged from the Cross. He came to my Side and began going back down through the Mountain with me. I felt an extraordinary, total Peace at his Side. We went down to my Client. “Look, Shaman,” said Jesus. “See how your Client’s Lower World Soul has left him completely!” Sure enough, it was roaming outside his Body, coming nearer, then moving farther away. My Client's “Suns” Soul then took off, bolting down a dark Tunnel. I took off after it instinctively. We came out of the Tunnel into a very dark Place. All I could see was the Soul Piece, a small Orb of Light, darting around in the Blackness a little bit ahead of me. I took out my Shaman Mirror and absorbed the Soul Piece into it for safe Keeping. I looked around and saw a small Opening of Light..the Tunnel back! I headed for it quickly, for I had a strong sense of Foreboding in this Place. It seemed like an endless Chasm of Nothingness. I felt as if I was being chased, or pulled at. As I was in the Tunnel, I felt myself being pulled back. Owl stuck his Wing into the Tunnel before me. I grabbed it. He pulled me up as the long Tunnel behind me kept sealed with Rock just behind me as I moved along. I just made it, and this is the closest I have ever been to being lost forever on a Journey. But it was worth it! When we were back in the Station, Jesus told me my Client’s Soul had fled to the part of the Lower World where Souls do NOT reincarnate. They either remain in absolute Darkness there, or cease to exist. He told me this means my Client feels unworthy of living right now. Jesus then went up to the kneeling man and put his Hands in his. He began speaking softly to him. I could not hear what he said, but I’m sure the Topic was my Client’s Self-Image. This was the personal Relationship people need to have with Jesus..one on one, Hands in Hands. I was then told to place my Client’s Soul Piece in a clear piece of Crystal Quartz I had bought earlier in the Day. I’m to send it along with the 10-ball Ongon for his Son. We then went back to the Top of the Mountain. There, a Man appeared. He had Hair covering his Face down to his Neck. Two small Horns of Light emerged from the top sides of his Head. I asked Jesus who this Man is. Jesus said, “You call him the Anti-Christ..but he is necessary to preserve the Sacred Balance. However, he is not someone you’d want to side with..” Jesus then told me that he and I will work together again. I found this astonishingly wonderful and humbling. The final Scene of the Journey seemed to come from nowhere. I saw a Man wearing Sandals land on his Knees next to a Canoe stored on some Sawhorses, Bottom up. The Call Back then sounded.

NOTES: Pretty much self-explanatory. The darkness of Twilight, the solitary Client on the Train, the drawn Blinds, all speaking to how cut-off Bruce feels from Life. The meeting with Jesus shows my Client is right to maintain a personal communication with him, versus praying to icons. The 10-ball and Crystal will be on their way shortly, with instructions. Meanwhile, we have managed to keep him from seriously shortening his life through the loss of his soul piece.. my Friend, Jesus wants you to recover from this..of that, this Journey shows, there can be no doubt.

Past Lives

4/24/06: A Journey taken at a Woman’s Request to check on her recent Past Lives.

As I entered the Spirit World, I was immediately shown the first of the Lives. It was the 1500s, in England. I saw a young Maiden milking Cows on a Farm. Apparently she was helping her Family eke out its living by performing this Chore on a regular Basis. I then saw that later in this Life she was a Midwife, helping other Woman in her Community with Childbirth. She married a Man who was quite abusive, and who died at a young Age. She was left penniless and homeless and also died young, very poor and in a heatless Place. The next Life was in the early 1700s. I saw a Woman who was a Dancer for a Tribe in Africa. She was a Figure of Power in this Village. She was kidnapped during an intertribal War, and while in the Hands of her Village’s Enemies was raped and murdered. The next Live was in the early 1900s. She was rich, and well-to-do. She was a popular Socialite, and was a commanding Presence in Upper Class Parties. Then came the Crash of the Stock Market. Stripped of her Wealth and Position, she became a Visiting Nurse. She visited the indigent Ill…and caught an Illness and died herself. Finally, I saw a Life way back in the 1100s, in Ireland. The Woman was very successful in “Magic”, that is, in dealing with the Spiritual Forces. Some might have called her a Witch, Centuries later. She was very good at channeling Spirit Energy and many respected her and came to her. At one Point she went to Stonehenge. There she worked with the Spirits of the Sun. She died in the Boat on the way Home.

NOTE: It is interesting that in her prior 4 Lives, this Woman was always a female. This means she is a very strong female Presence, and must be a force for balancing the Male Energy of Life. This is a Hint as to how she should be dealing with her present Existence…

Her Reply: This is all very exciting.
Thanks for answering the way you did. It's easier to understand that way.

I can relate to the 1700's previous life a little. I had a dream almost 2 years ago, that I was in Africa and I walked into a small grass mud dwelling and I sat on the ground. I sat beside an African woman and a small child. It was as if I was going to her for advise. She sat with her back straight in statue. But the dream ended. I don't know if I ever asked her a question, but it seemed so natural for me to be there. Oh and I do like to dance. But, I am just a kitchen dancer.
I have been to two Pow Wows and I always wanted to join in their dance circle, but I was afraid I would be intruding.

And about the 1929 crash. I still haven't learned to handle money very well. :) This year I have a goal to be debt free. My sister said we have a curse on the whole family when it comes to handling money. I told her that was a bad confession. We were never taught to handle money or respect it. I plan on changing that for my family.

And about the woman of magic in the 1100s- I have always been drawn to mystical things. Even when I studied Judaism, I read books on the Kabalah, Jewish Mysticism.
----------------------------------------------