Journey 122 - Tell Mom?

11/12/04: My second Journey was to finally get an answer as to whether I should tell my Mom, a fairly devote Christian, about my Shamanic Journey. I have conflict here as well, for I know she is sad we no longer go to church to seek oneness with her God, and worries about the effect of this on us and our progeny. I would love to let her know that I have discovered the True Path, and have seen more of the Spirit Terrain and Helpers than any Priest has ever allowed her to even know of, let along experience. So, off I went, the Room still cloaked in Sacred Space from my first Journey earlier today. This time, Barred Owl (Eagle Claw when in human form) came to me on a small Branch that had an orange and a red leaf on the end. He then sent me off to climb a Tree in my old neighborhood that I had climbed to the top of several times as a 10 year old. I found myself clambering up this fine Tree one more time. When I got to the very top, I seemed to have broken through a barrier of some sort. All around me and all the way to the horizon was a sea of white, wavy, milky mist. Owl then came by and scooped me up, taking me up toward a single Cloud Person that developed a hole in it. Through this hole we went, and were inside a Tunnel made of thin, gleaming silver slivers streaming by us. We exited the Tunnel and came into a Room lined completely in plush blue velvet. On one wall was my Mother’s Wedding picture, with numerous pictures going back in time of her ancestors layered outwards behind it. On the adjacent wall was an early shot of my Dad, with his ancestors going back in time and distance as well. Then, my Mother’s Mother appeared to me. I began speaking with her, and told her how nice it was to see her again. She moved easily now and could see and speak well..not how she was the last time I saw her looking like this. I asked her whether her Daughter/my Mother would receive the news of my Shamanism well. She took me on a little imagery tour in which I was shown that my Mom is quite content in her adopted religion. I saw her smiling as a younger woman, about the same time frame as my Tree Climbings. I saw her as she is now, sitting in her Church, praying. I was told she has lived this long because she truly believes in Jesus and Guardian Angels (as you may know, I know for a fact she has one, having met her recently in a Journey). She is quite content in this knowledge, and one of or both of two things would happen if I, unwelcomed, told her of my Sacred Calling: her Faith would be altered and possibly weakened, and/or she would begin stealing Power from me by asking questions like, “So should I go out and start lighting Fires and Dancing around them? Which Tree should I worship?” I then asked my Grandmother how I can reconcile keeping such an important development in my life a secret from my Mom like this. My Nana then told me that I have been keeping this a secret from almost everyone! Brothers and sisters, friends, co-workers..so why should my Mom be any different? Each person is in their own Sacred Path, and for me to tell my Mom would violate hers. As in all things, if the opportunity ever comes up and she asks, then I would tell her, just as I would any others in my Circle of Life. Realizing we were done, I thanked my Grandmother and Owl and I headed back down the Tunnel to the top of the Tree, and from there I came back to the room.

Right after this, I checked with my new Deer Bone Journey Tool to get a quick reading on an upcoming storm. I imagined the Bone in my hands and whistled through it as taught a few days ago four times. I then went within and looked at the falling snow. I was given a total accumulation that is slightly less than expected..but a number I feel is quite reasonable. It is marvelous to have this “mini-Journey” capability..a gift of maturity that one could possibly liken to a Bah Mitzvah for a Jewish young man. a dramatic and welcome step forward as my ability to be the transmitter of Sacred Spirit Knowledge grows. For that, in a nutshell, is the definition of a Shaman.