Journey 115 - The Wife

11/3/04: A Journey taken to visit with a hotel owner’s deceased wife, who passed quite suddenly and violently earlier this year. Her presence was really missed during a recent visit, and I asked before going to bed the night we were there for her to send me a sign if she wished to visit with me. That night, I dreamed I came across a broken Crow wing lying on the ground. Upon awakening, I realized that had to be her signal to meet because it involved my messenger Bird, Crows, a motif that has been used in the same respect in recent weeks, and because she had lost an arm in the accident that took her life. So today, after Smudging, Lighting the Sacred Candle and Rattling in the 7 Directions to open up Sacred Space, I went into my Shamanic Breathing, and set the Drum CD for 10 minutes. Even before the Drumming began, I found myself buried up to my eyes in the Earth, with Owl on one side of me and Snake on the other, my Upper and Lower World Guides, respectively. They were kicking around the dead leaves surrounding me, clearing a view of the large Field before me. A barn with a white horse fence was off in the distance straight ahead, and off to my right was a thinned out Forest. As I looked into the Field, I could see the wife walking frantically back and forth. She seemed to be wearing a light green jacket and slacks..possibly not the outfit she was in when she died, but no doubt the one she felt most herself in. I then found myself shooting up into the Air from the Ground, becoming a large Tree. But not just any Tree. I had very bright yellow Leaves, and my Trunk had little gold specks in it to make it glisten. This new Tree caught the wife’s attention, and she came quickly over to sit up against me. With her body in direct contact with my Trunk, I began cleasing her Chakras by pulling out negative Energy from her Body and sending it down into the Ground through my Roots. I could see her become more transparent as I did so. This thinning told me she was beginning to leave the Physical/Astral Plane behind more now, the goal of my visit, after all. Then, over at the edge of the Forest to my right, I beheld a Man who had come from nowhere. As he walked closer to us, I could see he was wearing a gray military uniform, possibly Civil-War era, but also maybe Canadian. He walked up to the wife and asked why she was so fretful. She answered that she had been riding her motorcycle with her husband at one instant, and then found herself in the middle of this Field, clueless as to where it was. The Man told her she had died in an accident, and that she was in-between Worlds. She then asked what had happened to her Family. The Man told her to look up at my Trunk above her head and see the Face there. It was my Face, and she recognized me from the parties of the past few years. I told her we were having one such gathering now, and that her family was fine..coping as best they could..there was a picture of her on the Lobby Fireplace Mantle..and that I had dedicated a song to her I’d sung that night. I then asked her if she had any messages for her Family. Realizing where she was now, she was much calmed. She told me to tell them that she loved them, and was very grateful they had accepted her fully as she was. She then turned with the Man and the two walked into the Forest side by side. I then returned to my original size as..well, whatever I was at the start..a green shoot?. Owl and Snake were still with me, and I thanked them both for helping me. I then reviewed the Journey to remember the details, while my Guides were still with me. Then, Owl suggested that we had to do something with the Broken Crow Wing. This was a Totem for the wife’s Death, and we needed to destroy it in order to allow her Sprit to be fully released back to the Spirit Camp. I picked it up, and we considered throwing it into the ocean, but in the end zoomed into Space and tossed it into the Sun (from a distance, of course). At this point, the house phone was ringing incessantly, and I decided it might be an emergency..so I left the Journey early and drummed myself back..quite at peace knowing a dear person had been released from the worst place a deceased person can be..it-between, alone, and lost.