Journey 48 - Visit with Dad

4/30: A most remarkably emotional Journey to the Lower World this morning, and unanticipated. I had earlier mentioned to my wife how our son’s refusal to hang with one of his friends because of excessive alcohol use reminded me of the time I had rejected my best friend at around his age for the same reason. She took this comment to launch a forceful explanation on how she is the only one who should take credit for our son’s actions, and that I little to do with any of the wise decisions he is now making. I was totally unprepared for this (even though I have seen it before), and it wounded my Aura, thereby reactivating an Imprint in my Luminous body which I soon thereafter recognized as having been with me for years. I have, since I can remember, always reacted with emotional resentment and anger when anything to do with my performance in any arena has been assaulted, questioned or undermined by anyone. And thinking of this incident this morning and my reaction to it, I knew I had to get to the source Wounding to finally rid myself of this constantly-triggering Imprint that has poisoning my Aura and Chakras over and over. And I had to do it NOW. So off I went, and I knew right away this would be a different Journey. After Smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I used the drum CD. I was not out back this time, but immediately carried into a wooded/flowered area, vibrant with color and pleasant aromas. It was gorgeous. Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide, emerged from a Tunnel entrance in front of me, for the first time wearing a Crown made of glistening Diamonds! Whoa!” I thought to myself, “something is up!” I met with Crosses and asked to be taken to the source Wounding that had left this deep Imprint in my Luminous Body. In fact, I humbled myself before Crosses, almost begging meekly on my knees, and in deep gratitude. Crosses led me down a very resplendent tunnel, lined with numerous, variously-colored Crystal Wands parallel to the floor as far as the eye could see. Down and down we went through this Wonder of Light. We emerged into a rather formless area, where my new Guide, Senses All, was waiting for me. Her eyes were like diamonds, and she likewise had a small crown. I told her I wished to be taken to the Source Wounding, and she took me by the hand and led me into a swirling mass. As we penetrated, Events from my Life went by me. Each was an example of how this Imprint had wounded me and caused anger and hurt. Back and back we went, past my teen years. We then came to a small room with a computer terminal in it(!), and Sense All showed me a long list of Imprint-inspired Chakra poisonings. She smiled and said she wanted me to feel more comfortable in a setting I’m used to in this life as I reviewed my history. :) As the list went further back into my early days, Senses All took me by the hand and led me back into the Swirl of Time. She took me back into the basement of my old house. I saw my Father working at his work bench. He was working on his car engine (he rebuilt it every winter when I was a baby). My mother had let me come down to be with him and walk around a bit (so I must have been two or so). I had picked up a small can of oil and was bringing it to him when it spilled. My Father was always quick to frustration and so yelled at me, telling me to leave things alone, not to help. I felt the Original Wounding occur. I ran and was crying. I now understood why as an older boy and young teenager I had such dread about going down those stairs into the cellar. Senses All then cornered me and told me that we were going to replay this incident, but this time, after the oil spill, I was to react differently. With love and forwardness. Therefore, after the spill, I ran to my Father’s legs and held them tight. I said I was sorry (at least in my mind), that I was only trying to help him. He picked me up, held me to his chest, and said it was OK. It felt SO good to hug him again, I burst into tears..right in the middle of my Journey (a first). I held him tighter and tighter, saying how good it was to be with him again, and how much I loved him. I asked him to forgive me for all the times in the future when I would refuse to help him happily because of this Original Wounding. I then told him I had to get back to my time, that I would be a much better Shaman for having come back to erase this Imprint. I held him so long, and told him I would see him again in the Spirit Camp, but it was wonderful to have held him again. I kept saying, “I love you!”, over and over, in fresh tears. Senses All then took me and said, we now will seal off the Imprint forever. She placed her hand over the Wounded area and the Imprint dissolved. She brought that part of my Luminous Body back to wholeness. I turned and looked at my Father one last time, tears welling once more. He had become a Luminous Body himself, no longer the physical Robe I was accustomed to. I turned with Senses All to begin the Journey back. I was very grateful to her, but a bit too overwrought to say so. But she knew, and I have thanked her since. She led me back to Crosses, who brought me back up the Tunnel to the grove. Crosses told me to sit a while amidst the Trees and drink in their Luminous Energy. As I did so, I became each Tree, and looked over to see myself sitting there. It was very soothing to sit in the Tree Life Forces. Crosses then led me back to my room where I grounded, eyes still wet.