Journey 28 - First Journey into Cancer's Castle for Friend's Mom

1/24: This afternoon’s Journey was to see if I could negotiate a surrender, so to speak, with a dear friend's mom’s disease. I prepared the room with Sage and Sweet Grass, and also shook my Rattle to the three levels of each of the 7 Directions to set up an even more Sacred Space. I lit my Candle to ensure the presence of the Good Light while I was gone. I used Shamanic Breathing to increase my Mana supply and to relax. I used the long version of the Meadows CD for the actual Journey. While I was relaxing, I sent the protective shield of my Luminous Body over to cover her mom as well, so nothing I did would inadvertently hurt her. But I also restricted this covering to protection only, so that none of each other’s energies would use it as a bridge to reach the other. I met Hawk, and we took off together. We flew higher, and eventually saw a Cloud Person with a purple entry hole. We headed into this Tunnel. The sides were made of hard rainbow chunks with rather sharp edges, and as we soared through this Tunnel I felt myself melding my Spirit more with the Hawk’s so that we would be almost one Being. We emerged onto a flat plain where the ground was made of broken chunks of small-stone-sized, cloudy Quartz Crystal pieces stuck together for as far as the eye could see. A short distance away, I saw a large building made of the same materials that was about 4 stories high with turrets..a mini castle. The windows and door were as foreboding a black color as I had ever seen. I sat on a bench and Eagle Claw came up to sit next to me. He grabbed my hand and held it, as if giving me courage to go to the door. When I got there, just as I put my foot over the threshold, I felt as if I was slipping down into a chasm..a feeling of falling, being pulled in. I quickly realized I needed Guides with me, so I called on Gray Wolf and Two Feathers to stay on either side of me. They arrived, took up their positions, and we went in. Movement through the black slog was quite slow and tedious, a testimony to how black and thick this energy was. It was completely dark for a few minutes. Then, off to the right, we saw a very dark blue outline of a table. We walked over to it and sat down, hoping to meet with the Spirit of the Disease. It did show up, but immediately set about to trying to invade my Aura. I felt a strong tingling in my body as my Aura resisted, and I had a feeling of energy depletion and sinking. The three of us strengthened our Spirit Bodies to resist, using my Eagle Claw chant to call in the extra Rainbow Light. I actually had to determinedly call my Rainbow Aura to mind to give it enough power to make it visible enough to overcome the darkness feeling and surroundings. As it was, my Aura was very close to me and very distinct, as if being compressed from without. Then, on one wall, I saw a blue outline of a coffin with her mom already in it. Did this mean we were going to fail? I was then taken up to the top floor, to one of the turret windows. There, a human-sized White Being with no features appeared. It pointed out the window, and I went to look. The stars were all transmitting rainbow shafts of light down to the area, and the outside of the building and the ground were dancing in the colors. I sensed the White Being wanted me to ask it for help, but very slowly. So I said, “I am Four Hawks and I would like to ask this Disease’s Spirit if it will let go of my friend’s mom” in a very slow way. As I finished, the White Being stood aside to consider. I suddenly saw a point of darkness ahead of me, and a spear came rushing toward me and penetrated my Aura. It was the Disease attacking me again. Once more, I felt the sinking feeling as I tingled. I tried to remove the Spear but could not as my energy drained, so I asked Two Feathers and Gray Wolf to pull it out for me. They did, and they patched up the hole in my Aura. This is why one should always have Spirit Helpers along. I sensed from this response that there was no way the Disease will voluntarily give up. I then saw a series of images. I saw Robins flying over mom and also our friends' house, an instruction to send Robin Medicine their way. I placed my Woman in a Dress over mom’s face and sang the Woman’s chant, to try to ease mom’s travel. I saw a gray haired man waiting patiently on the other side of a glass door..mom’s Spirit Escort? I saw the shape of a Horse’s head, calling to mind my own humble beginnings as a Shaman way back when..and the last thing I saw was a small Spider, the creating one, center of the Web. For most of my time in this building, I could not help thinking about how aggressive and depleting this Disease felt to me. As I came back, I grounded my Aura firmly to Mother Earth and soaked up her Fire Medicine. I felt a wild electricity running through my Body, evidence of Cleansing. I called on the Green Elixir to pour over me and remove any hint of the Disease I might have picked up. I thanked all my Guides and Guardians for their help and protection. When I came back to my feet, I literally doused myself with Sage Smoke for cleansing and negative energy removal, cleaned my Chakras, and reshaped my Aura with my Eagle Feather. Even an hour after the event, the disturbing nature of this Disease is still in my mind. I am glad I made this extraordinary Journey, as I felt it was my duty, but this is really the first one I have come back from feeling very humbled and somewhat disturbed. This is the true Path of a Shaman Healer, for there are times when one cannot heal and places oneself in danger of being hurt oneself. I’m very glad I had learned through study how to react and protect myself. I realized also that I never tried to heal her..that was not the purpose of this journey. I was hoping for a voluntary departure. I shall try to heal her using my more traditional Methods, taught to me in prior Journeys. I’m not sure I’m ready to head back into this Disease and take it on in Battle just yet. I’ll await Guidance from Dreams and Cards for that.