My Name is M and I am in The US.
I came across your Blog while trying to find
shamanic practitioners in my area and low and behold here
you are. I am contacting you because well, I need help. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer in Oct. and treated in Jan.
Recently the doctors have found cause for concern and I have to
go through some tests in July to make sure the cancer has not come back.
I am experiencing a lot of the symptoms that I did before treatment
and they are getting increasingly worse.
The reason that I have to wait till July for these tests is to make sure that
the Radioactive iodine from Jan. is completely out of my system for them to be accurate. Although thyroid cancer is usually very easy to treat, if its not being treated easily then that’s not good.
I really need to get at the cause of all of this, I need to understand and concur it.
And I need help.
I have been researching shamanism since my first encounter
with a shaman about a year ago. I had a healing done and a lot of beautiful
things were revealed to me. The process is something that I truly connect with.
So, if you are free and able to work with me I would be truly truly grateful!
My financial situation is not what it could be at the moment and I would not be able to repay you with a cash exchange at this time. On your site I know that you said that this would not be a problem but, I would need to repay you in some way. Hopefully we can work something out, that is if you can help me.
Hope to here from you soon.
Blessings to you and yours,
NOTES: The blue and green Mirrors are significant in that they actually represent Father Sky and Mother Earth. It was by combining their Energies that I was allowed to witness the Source of M’s problem. This tells me M must likewise seek balance in her life between male and female energies.
Lavender is also very significant. It helps keep physical and emotional balance, helps deal with the frustrations of others in a stable manner (VERY key given how poorly but understandably the little girl dealt with her impulsive killing), and announces that karmic issues are at hand (that is, issues of destiny). Lavender was used by Solomon to clean sacred circles, as it activates an extremely high vibration that is impenetrable to lower thought forms and astral entities [my emphasis - the angry young girl Spirit]. Lavender relives stress, headaches, insomnia, pains, arthritis and depression. It restores physical and emotional balance. It activates Chakras that control mental clarity, awareness and alertness. It helps remove karmic blockages that hinder spiritual growth. It can allow you to see directly Spirit Beings. It draws love and protection, and reminds us to maintain emotional balance. Now is the time to deal with issues objectively. Maintain your stability, even if those around do not. The issues at hand are probably karmic, and so it is best to deal with them now.
Finally, Shamans use Candles to call in the Center of All Time and Space. The Flame is where all is possible and all exists…so to have it lit over Lavender will make it very powerful in appeasing the Spirit of Anger.”
As far as your Brass Mongolian Shaman Figurine bringing to you the blocks of green and blue light, I was just the other day thinking about those very same colors and there presence in my life. How they make me feel in a way that is beyond words (psychically, I guess), emotionally, where in my body ,ect... I noticed that while I have always had an affinity for blue, it's "airy" and clear texture and quality, I have an unconscious urge to surround myself with the color green, my bedroom, my clothes, and the little things all around.
I have been aware and picking up on the messages to balance my male and female energies for some time now and I've got to say that this seems to be somewhat of a difficult task for me. Just when I think that I've got a grasp on what exactly that means the concept totally eludes me. Maybe it's not an intellectual pursuit, maybe I am making it more difficult then it needs to be, maybe it is the influence of a patriarchal society which makes it difficult for me to balance those tipped scales.
Honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of what you saw with the little girl. I was certainly surprised at the revelation. It is probably the last thing that I would have imagined that you would have found. You said that I am to get a turquoise and coral necklace. The very same day that you made this journey, I was reading a book and it mentioned that turquoise and coral were common combinations in Native American jewelry. I never really knew that and for some reason it jumped out at me.
A couple of weeks ago I asked the spirits to lead me to the necklace that I was supposed to be wearing, I knew instinctively a necklace would help, I just didn't know what kind. After reading your message I searched on-line and found it on e-bay for a price that I could afford. Question: At night when I take it off to wash it, am I to put it right back on or wait till morning?
Also the day that you made the journey I was cleaning and I had the urge to completely rearrange my alter, my alter that I keep on my bureau. I found a small lavender candle that I had bought a while back. And I became some what fixated on the alter and I felt that something needed to be done. I took out a deck of tarot type cards and I drew a card that said "make music". I had no idea what it meant but, I figured I would find out, so put it on my alter. I have gotten I recording of "Fur Elise" and as soon as I find the pictures needed I will go through the ritual prescribed. Questions: am I to only play the song once and just let the candle burn for 4 hours? Have you any idea who this redheaded boy was? Is there any certain type of dog that I should look for in a picture?
You said that this ritual would appease the spirit of the dead girl. Could you explain to me a little more what that means? Is she somehow "released" or is it somewhat like soul retrieval for her? In that, something will be returned to her so that she can become whole and move on? Or is it more like, through me repaying the karmic debt of my ancestor things are in balance again? Where is she? Is it her entire spirit that is there or just a piece or an imprint? Do you continue to help her? Is this curse going to continue to effect others in my family???
Hope that I'm not asking too many questions...
I am allowing all of these messages to integrate and watching them develop.
I have gathered all that I need for the candle ritual and I began yesterday.
For what ever reason, I felt guided to play the song twice at the beginning and
twice at the end of the candle burning. Yesterday just after the ritual I was sitting down on the coach and their was a TIME magazine sitting right in front of me. Almost unconsciously I reached for the magazine and started thumbing through and I open up to an ad with one whole full page of just a piano. I gave a little smile, but didn't think too much of it. Then I went out to run errands, I went to this one store that I always go to. As long as I have been going there I have never seen this man working there but, the man that waited on me had red hair and glasses! He had a young boyish face but a steady, gentle demeanor, he was very friendly and it seemed that something about him was begging for my attention. Being somewhat slow to catch on at times it didn't hit me completely until I got in my car and I remembered seeing the piano in the magazine...and then the light went on. Since then it seems everywhere I go there is a red head somewhere in the vicinity.
So, there have been many connections and synchronicities outwardly as well as inwardly. This I hope and believe a is a sign that things are changing, moving, healing... or beginning to anyway.
I have not received the necklace yet but, any day now.
Thank You! for the tip about the color green. I have actually read that about cancer and the color green years ago but, you hear so many different things and what has always stuck with me is green as a healing color. But thanks for reinforcing that idea, it does make sense doesn’t it? Although, I am noticing the color everywhere I go and today I was at my therapists and I saw her aura loud and clear as a vibrant green color. I don't see auras all of the time and usually not that vibrantly, so I assume that this has some reason. Or maybe I just picked up on it because I'm thinking of it now? I stopped wearing green and I will try to shift my attention to one of the other colors that you had mention would be good.
I will be very curious to see who my power animal is. In the 1st healing I had Lion was brought back for me and I know that I have a strong connection to Raven, I have for a long time even before I knew anything of power animals. It is my understanding that we have one or a few steady animal spirits that are with us throughout our lifetime and then others who come and go and are with us until we no longer need them. Is this so?
I am so excited to have your help and the help of the spirits. It has given me hope that all of this can be sorted out (in what ever way that is). I'm still scared at times but for the first time in a while I feel like I can let go and without expectations, allow things to be what and how they are and no matter what things will be O.K...so I guess that the healing has begun.
Let the chain of anger end here.
Blessings to you,
seen them. They are white and green and rather large and close to my body. I am curious to see what you would be able to find out. That would be great! Thanks.
I will definitely burn some incense as an offering right away, in fact as soon as I'm done here. I have some lotus incense that I can use. I wanted to ask you what I should do with the unburned portion of the lavender candle? and as far as the pictures of the boy, dog, and piano putting them in the recycling bin should be good, right?
JOURNEY #1
7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on some lights she has been seeing when heading up her Staircase at Home. These are small Balls of Light, indicating in her Peripheral Vision. I initially told her I see these also, for they are little Glimpses of the Soul Parts that run up and down the Axis of the Human Energy Field through the Chakras. I felt there was no need to go further, until she told me she was now seeing white AND green Orbs. This changed my Approach, and hence this Journey to determine what is up.
As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself at a Picnic Table. My Protectors, Two Feathers and Gray Wolf, were there, as well as my Mirror Spirit, Utawa. They were all eating fresh Corn off the Cob. I then saw my Upper World Guide, Eagle Claw, heading toward us with a large Apron full of more Corn! An Abundance if ever I saw one! So I sat and began eating, too. Then, in the Center of the Table, I saw a green and white Box form. The Colors were swirling and morphing around the Box, and evermore so with Time. As I kept on eating my Corn, the Scene shifted. Now there were two, tall Towers of Energy, one Green and one White. Faces formed at the Top of each Column…and they were identical. Suddenly I and the two Light Beings dropped through the Ground into a Forest. There was a Dirt Path there, which I began walking along. I soon came to a Clearing with a large Fountain of Light. The two Light Beings knelt at the Fountain. Two additional Colors now formed over the Fountain, blue and yellow. All four Beings, aside from there Color, now looked alike. They all got together and began to circle the Fountain at ever-higher Speed. Soon, there was a white/blue Ring of Energy surrounding the Fountain, made up of these four Beings. They had merged. I caught this Energy with my Mirror. I then watched as the Scene shifted back to the Picnic Table. My Guides there told me that this all meant that M’s Soul is trying to fragment, thereby pulling her in all different Directions, in all Ways. I was told she needs to reunify her Energies. To do this, they gave me another Candle Exercise for M. This is very important, for Fire is the Center of Existence, and any Ceremony with it included is therefore very powerful. M is to find four Candles: blue, white, yellow and green. She is to burn them together, and if possible (without setting her House on Fire) get the Energies to merge, at least for a short Time. The Call Back then sounded and I returned to the Room. As I lay there coming back, a brief Scene displayed in which I saw a Doctor, seemingly acting in a positive Manner…but I have no other details.
NOTES:
CORN: It is time to merge the sacred with the mundane; new life and abundance. Corn reminds us to be practical and pragmatic while still holding onto our dreams. It also reminds us to be grateful for what we are and have.
GREEN reflects calming, balancing, growth. It increases compassion. It soothes the nervous system. Green awakens friendliness, hope, faith and peace. It stimulates growth. It cancels out red’s effects. Never use green around cancerous growths, though (unless so directed by Spirit Helpers, of course).
BLUE means relaxation, antiseptic, cooling. It awakens intuition and eases loneliness. It awakens artistic expression and creativity, and is very effective when mixed with the warm colors. Orange represents joy, wisdom and creativity It stimulates feelings of socialness. It is tied to our emotional health and the muscular system.
WHITE This symbolizes great Spirit Power of very high order. White light can be used to wash the Aura and Spirit clean through both physical and imaginational use. “
JOURNEY NUMBER 2:
“7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on the breaking of her Coral and Turquoise Healing Necklace. She was concerned this would have a detrimental effect on her Healing, and although I felt it would not, I decided I would make sure. A very interesting Journey ensued:
As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace. I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1. I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it. I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M--- also.” I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. lITTLE M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…). Suddenly LITTLE M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, LITTLE M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire. Soon, it became a Forest on Fire. We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her. I then saw a heavy, older Man walking out of M and turn into a young Boy. Then, M disappeared. We were then back at the Castle. We walked by it instead of into it. I could still here the Toad running around within. LITTLE M, Utawa and I then headed out for the transit Log. Suddenly, I caught a Spear, similar to the one that had almost killed me the first Time I was in this Castle, with my right Hand, without even looking behind to see it coming. This showed I had conquered this Place and its occasional Illness Spirits. We crossed back to where we started, and found numerous, gorgeous purple Flowers. Then, there were yellows. Finally, red-orange Colors. This looked as if we were walking Top to Bottom through an Aura. The final Glimpse I had was that these Flowers were in a prestigious College-like Setting. The Call Back then sounded.
NOTES: This seems to show that M will conquer whatever symptoms result from the initial Invasion. She chooses to Balance the “Black” and White” versus choosing one over the other (and this is a decidedly Shamanic Stance), and this theme of Balance repeats itself often in the Journey. She balances herself over the Lake (emotions, femininity) to behold the world in joy again. The transformation of old man to boy shows she must use her left-brain, male side in a childlike manner…analysis for learning and fun, not for serious business.
TIGER: The Tiger represents Passion, Power, Devotion and Sensuality.
ELEPHANT: It represents Ancient Power, Strength and Royalty. It is a symbol of royalty and fertility. The Hindu God of wisdom and success is depicted with an elephant’s head. The elephant was usually the royal mount. It was the warrior God and the God of the monsoons in India. Elephants have good memories..of others who have cased it harm! They embody strength, especially power of the libido. They are also seen as symbols of great sexual power.
Elephants are also linked to clouds because of their size. Clouds are made of mist, and represent the transition between the formed and unformed (rain and unseen moisture). This links again to the ocean/land interface, and suggest a state of continuing metamorphosis.
The trunk gives the elephant a great sense of smell. This means you should be paying attention to things and situations that “don’t smell right.” You need to be very discriminating. This also suggests you should look into aromatherapy for healing and calming. The trunk is used for many things..eating, watering, etc. This reflects your need and ability to open to energies and worlds otherwise inaccessible. The tusks are used for digging edible roots. This again suggests a need to concentrate on plants and roots..those things grown in the Earth, as seen in the prior Spirit Health Journey.
Elephants group separately in female and male, except for mating. In both, sub-groups involve the young, the adult and the wise old one. Elephants also show great affection and loyalty to each other, and mutually help the old, the weak/sick and the young.,.and each other They exhibit powerful societal and family ideals. Again, like the monkey, you are called to become more social and aware..helping those in need no matter what their station, age or gender. You can draw on ancestral wisdom and power, and reclaim your primordial royalty!
FIRE: represents the Gol, the Mongolian Name for the Center of all being, of one’s own being; the jump-off point for Journeying to all places and Times. Its represents the Energy of Change and Transformation to the new from the destruction of the old. There are Pine Cones, for example, that will not release their Seeds until they are heated to a temperature that only a raging Fire can produce. Once the Fire is gone, these seeds take root to produce the next generation of Trees. “
See whatcha think!
In the first Journey the mention of corn definitely stuck out. I made this pasta salad with corn in it and every time that I ate it these past couple days or so I would comment on how it needed more corn. And also, on the day that my Father went into Boston with me we were talking about food and his eating more healthfully and he said that corn had no nutritional value. This struck me as odd and I said " It's corn, it's got to have something to it". I just couldn't except that . So, I looked it up and I found that it does have nutritional value, not as much as some other vegetables, but it definitely did have some (protein, fiber, vit A, C, and B1 and B5, also phytonutrients which prevent cancer) and it is also beneficial for what it doesn't have or has little of (cholesterol, sodium).
Then, the explanation that you gave for the meaning of corn matches exactly with the explanation of turquoise and coral that I had read in the book that I had mentioned when you had preformed the first Journey. It said "turquoise represents spirituality (it's health, well-being, within an individual) and coral represents the "life" of spirituality" and together they bring about the grounding of the spiritual in everyday life. This, I know is Huge for me.
That my soul is trying to fragment was something that took me by surprise at first (Is this something that shamans come across often? Have you ever seen this before? why would this happen?) But, now that I think of it, it makes perfect sense. That is exactly how I feel. Very scattered, not able to draw my energy together, and hesitant and unsure of which direction to move in because there are so many things that I could do or see or be.
I preformed the candle ritual today. (Is it common for you to give tasks with candles when working with people?) When I first lit them I laid down to meditate and there was a bird outside in my back yard squawking insistently. There are ALWAYS birds in the back yard, we have bird feeders all over. But this bird felt like it wanted my attention so I sat up and looked out the window. It was a blue jay. As soon as I looked out he stopped his call and went about his business.
before I began the ritual I had to decide between two blue candles (one light, the other dark) . I felt like I should use the light one. When I saw the blue jay, who was the exact shade of blue as the candle I used I was confident that it was the right one.
After the ritual I looked up Blue Jay in Animal Speak and it said that Blue Jay stood for "proper use of power". It said that "it has the ability to link the heavens and the earth", this of course parallels the message you received in the 1st Journey that you performed for me. Also, there is mention of scattered energy and being a "dabbler". I completely identify with this and have been thinking a lot about it lately.
Also, as I was meditating I saw many things but, I kept seeing the image of a crown repeatedly. In the description of the Jay there is mention of the crest as a crown and also mention of royalty. In the other Journey you saw the flying Elephant which also stands for royalty (among other things). I am taking this to mean a coming into one's own power. Is that also how you see it? Am I missing any of the meaning behind this or do you have any insight that might help me to grasp this better?
When I preformed the ritual the blue candle burned twice as quickly as the rest (they were all the same candle different colors). So blue went out first, then white, then yellow, and then green. At the end I was left with a puddle of mostly green candle wax and blue (no trace of white or yellow).
I'm not sure if you can relate any of this to what you are going through right now. But, I really felt like I should send it along and I figured if it helps then, beautiful! if it doesn't then nothing lost. But, I really hope it does.
My doctor is supposed to call me tomorrow with their official determination. So...I am trying to remain calm and centered but, in all truthfulness that is probably the last thing that I am. Such a strange feeling, I feel everything at once, or maybe it is just moving so quickly from one spectrum to the other that the lines are blurred. All is one. The light is dark and the dark light. Everything seems very surreal, like being in a car accident...how it happens in a split second yet feels like slow-mo. Everything feels so quiet and still, eerie. which makes me feel completely present, yet not....the eye of the storm.
I have faith though...although it seems to be on the outer orbits of my existence, some where circling in this frenzy. I can sense it. It's there.
Just need to let go and realize that gravity is holding me...I won't be hurled out into space to tumble endlessly further and further out. I've got to Trust...
and I will, I mean, I do. Deeply, It's just removed at the moment.
So, needless to say I will have to get back about the 2nd journey. Focusing is not really in the cards at the moment.
There is also the fact that my thyroglobulin levels are elevated. Thyroglobulin is usually used after RAI (Radioactive Iodine) treatment to track any reoccurrence of tumor. But, a very small percentage of people produce antibodies, which can cause interference with the thy-glob levels. I happen to be one of those people. So, basically what this means is that while these elevated levels are suspicious, they can not be relied upon.
The next steps are to retest these levels at a few different labs, including one in CA that specializes in these tests, and see if there are any differences in the #'s. If there are then it can most likely be concluded that these have no bearing on what these small spots are.
Also I have to go in for an MRI so that they can compare scans.
As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace.
- The day that I ended up reading this I woke up in the morning and the necklace was hanging around my neck with just the clasp undone. It did end up breaking a few times more before the 3 weeks were up but, I was able to fix it.
I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1.
- The reason I had asked about the candle rituals and whether or not it was common for you to give these tasks was because a couple of months ago I started gathering different color candles a little at a time and got a candle spell book. I never actually preformed any spells or rituals though, until the first one the spirit gave.
I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it.
- This image of the name plate and also of the tombstone that you saw in the house from the first journey that said "Anger" brought to mind an experience that I had a little after my meeting with the other shaman woman who had journeyed on my behalf. I went to this spot in the cemetery where I and a group of friends used to go quite often. The first time that I was shown this place was the first day of a huge end and beginning for me and I felt called to go there. A crow came and landed in the tree near me and was cawing at me. So I spoke to it and said "show me what I need to know". I followed it across the cemetery until it stopped in a tree and started again to caw at me. I stood there for a sec. then went over to a wall directly underneath the crow but I wasn't understanding so I walked away a little bit and looked back. The headstone that I had been standing next to directly under the crow said MY last name. And it struck me right away, went right through me. At first I felt a little uneasy but I interpreted it to mean the death of my old life and the birth of a new. And I think that this is all connected.
I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M also.”
- That the little girl and I have the same name means so much! I can draw so many parallels of the little girl's experience to my own life. Metaphorically of course.
I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…)
- WOW! Yay! I was wondering if you could say about how old little M was.
Suddenly Little M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, Little M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire.
- When I was younger, about 15 or so, I had a fire in my room. I had lit a candle and fallen asleep. Some woke me. I didn't see or here anyone but I sensed a presence wake me. The room was so thick with smoke that I couldn't even find my own door. I had to feel along the wall and afterward you could see my black hand prints all along the wall. Maybe this is connected? Maybe I came closer to death in that moment then I even realized.
Soon, it became a Forest on Fire.
- This reminds me of when I was little... I used to imagine that on the other side of my door was a magical forest. I used to draw pictures of it. I really wondering if this room of fire may have been my room as a kid in the spirit world...Oh wow, an image of "Sarah" from the "Labyrinth", when she finds the place in the Labyrinth that looks like her room (remember?) just came over me.
We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her.
- Ken, I believe that this is what has come to fruition in these past couple of days. The way I see it I grew up with patterns of emotional repression (My Father) and deep denial (My Mother). My Mother has never asked me anything about the cancer and leaves the room every time I try to talk about it. Anyway, I eventually developed (because of all of my bottled up emotions) a denial of anything that could be considered "dark" about myself. I refused to admit my true feelings, first to my Mother and Father because I did not want to be rejected or ignored anymore and then to myself. On the 1st day that I talked to my Dr. she did not sound reassuring. I think that I could have stayed "calm", for lack of a better word. (When I first found out I had cancer I went skydiving for the 1st time. When I landed on the ground not a drop of adrenaline had gone through my system, I wanted to see how strong I could be.) That’s not what I needed to do (to stay calm). I needed to feel what ever it was that came through and I did, I let go. I needed to feel my light and dark, my strength and weakness. I realized that I am NOT afraid of dying. I never have been... I've always been afraid of living and it occurred to me that if I were to leave now that my life will have been wasted. On Friday when I heard back from the Dr. she had a completely different tone. I felt a relief that I can't even explain afterward. I was like a giddy child. I feel better then I have in a long while. EVERYTHING is beautiful and I am SO Thankful that I can see and feel this now. I thought it before, I was aware of it before, now I KNOW...Joyful Awe would be the perfect way to sum it up.
The Tiger has also come through. I feel a renewed sense of passion.. for life definitely but, also a creative passion I have not felt in a long time. So many beautiful images. I think the challenge here is to stay "devoted" to this new found passion, and to stay "balanced" within it.
I then saw a heavy, older Man walking out of M and turn into a young Boy.
- This I immediately related to, I can definitely be too analytical, too hard. With myself and I must admit in a way with others as well. But I think that the boy has stepped forward more now.
Then, M disappeared. We were then back at the Castle. We walked by it instead of into it. I could still here the Toad running around within. Little M, Utawa and I then headed out for the transit Log.
- So, the little girl is definitely in a better place now as she so deserves to be...Thank Goodness! I hope that she is surrounded by the most loving beings! and I'm sure that she is.
Suddenly, I caught a Spear, similar to the one that had almost killed me the first Time I was in this Castle, with my right Hand, without even looking behind to see it coming. This showed I had conquered this Place and its occasional Illness Spirits.
- This is also WONDERFUL! to hear, that you have come out of that place stronger.
We crossed back to where we started, and found numerous, gorgeous purple Flowers. Then, there were yellows. Finally, red-orange Colors. This looked as if we were walking Top to Bottom through an Aura. The final Glimpse I had was that these Flowers were in a prestigious College-like Setting. The Call Back then sounded.
- Oh, yes...something else I forgot to mention. Yesterday I came across a tarot card. This certain deck had the "High Priestess" pictured with a black column to one side of her and a White column to the other! The black column had a "B" on it and the white an "L" on it. (Black and Light? don't know)
I already feel better. Actually I started to feel more up yesterday so I burnt some incense before I received your message, offering the smoke to the spirits to enjoy as you had said to do before.
I think that shall count for #1 and the rest I will do one a day for 12 more days.
"Like rain falling down onto the flowers" ..that is beautiful!!!
I heard from my doctor today and the MRI came back clear, that is they found nothing unusual or suspicious. My doctors have never seen anything like this before...
but they seem fairly certain that it is just some fluke thing.
I have started to ease into a qigong practice again and I also have started to perform rituals as I feel guided to. I have so much to learn and I'm excited to learn it.
12/7/04: At the request of my Spirit Sister, I took a Journey this evening to investigate a new physical ailment she herself is suffering from. Her physician has reported a misplaced ovary with a possible growth (“one of my ovaries is way out of place and has something attached to it”), which must be checked via ultrasound a week from this Thursday. My Spirit Sister asked me to check it out in advance so she’d be better prepared. So I took a quick Hollow Bone Journey as taught a few weeks ago when the Bone was first given to me. I opened Sacred Space quickly with my Rattle and lit the Sacred Candle after a quick Smudging. As I went into the Journey, I found myself standing at the entrance of the Bone with my Barred Owl Guide, Eagle Claw. As we went in, the interior took on the appearance of a hospital testing room. I saw Sister lying down on her back on a hospital bed while a male attendant checked out her lower abdomen. I walked around to look at the TV screen, but was unable to interpret the view. The attendant showed no emotion either way while viewing the screen, and so I cannot get a good reading on just how serious the issue is. However, my personal view is that no reaction is a good reaction. I then foresaw a small operation, and saw Anne recuperating at home, apparently in January based on the sunlight and weather..it seemed like January at least in terms of its look. Then, as Eagle Claw and I were moving back out of the Bone, thinking we were finished, the interior unexpectedly darkened completely, with only a few scattered wall adornments shining as if lit by a black light. My Sister, still lying on the bed, was the only object seemingly lit from above. I then saw a Dark Being hovering over her, reaching into her lower left abdomen. Anne has an Entity attached! I was quite surprised. Eagle Claw and I then immediately increased our Aural strength to keep out any unwanted imprints from this Being. The Being spotted us and checked us out, but we were safe within the Rainbow Walls of the Aural Field. I then began my female Chant, and saw Woman in a Grass Dress, my Amazonian Helper, move over to sit beside Sister, up by her left shoulder. The Entity then retreated to a rear wall..I could see its eyes staring blankly as its power over Sister was checked. She is now safe from any further intrusions, but I must do a full journey to discover the nature of this Visitor.
12/8/04: This afternoon I took the follow-on Journey for Spirit Sister. My intent was to discover the identity of and then escort the Entity hovering over her back to the Spirit Camp. I performed a more lengthy Rattling to open Sacred space, more in keeping with tradition. I then Smudged and lit the Sacred Candle. I then set up a 15-minute Drum Loop, and breathed Shamanically for an extra long time to ensure I was totally relaxed and receptive. I was soon standing on a dirt road leading up to the entrance of the Hollow Bone, in which I saw Sister yesterday. There were several hundred people lining the road on both sides, right up to the entrance. I saw Barred Owl and Eagle zooming around in circles above the entrance, beckoning me to approach. I was dressed as a Native American Warrior, with my crystal resting on my right front thigh in a deerskin sheath. The people were all looking at me..I was apparently their champion. I then raised my arms to the Sky Father and brought down several gigantic lightning bolts onto the top of the Bone. I then walked up the dirt road to the entrance. There I was met by my own Spirit Guardian, Two Feathers. At this point I was wondering exactly what I was in for..this was quite the unusual Crowd, dress, and approach, and I had my three main Guides with me for my protection. I had a temporary feeling I was going inside that Bone to wrestle with my own Dark Force, my biggest nemesis to date. Two Feathers blew Sage and Sweet Grass on me as I went inside. The Woman in a Grass Dress was now standing over Anne, and in full human form. As she saw me approach, she left. I looked, and the Entity was still standing at the rear wall. He approached me and stared very closely into my eyes. I then decided to back off and open up Sacred Space over Sister and myself as I moved to her right side. I then lifted the entire Bone up through the Sky and out into Space, among the Stars. From there I was quickly transported to a scene from the South, from some time in the recent past. There was a southern-style mansion in the distance, with a large field leading down to a huge tree under which I was standing. I saw a young boy of 5-7 then appear, and saw that he had just choked to death on what I feel was an acorn he tried to swallow whole. I then was revealed to me that the Spirit of this Boy then reached through time to take hold of Sister when she was living in the South and more Spiritually vulnerable. He literally reached through time to get to her now, even though in Earth years we are at least several decades along from his Death. He jumped instantaneously into the now, since in the Spirit World time is quite the flexible to non-existent property. It seems the Boy was totally lacking in any sort of Feminine Balancing Energy, and was seeking this Energy from her. We then were back in the Bone Cave. I took my Crystal Wand and absorbed the Entity. My Wand was then glowing with a flesh color! I took the Wand outside and called down a Lightning Strike to remove the Entity’s Spirit and transmute it to the Spirit Camp. I barely recall the actual Strike, but not the Transmutation, though. However, I remember my own Body twitching sharply on the bed at this point..a jolt of some magnitude. I then found myself on a River’s Bank, gently running the tip of the Wand across and through the surface, to release the Entity into Water. This is the preferred method for doing this, so perhaps the Lightning Strike was a non-effective idea. I then found myself in an old Mexican courtyard, and saw a religious Woman approach me fully dressed in a White and Blue habit. She brought me a small, golden Box. She opened it to reveal a searingly-white Heart Shape within. She told me this was part of the heart Energy of Sister’s Power Animal, the White Eagle, and that she should keep this box close to her at all times..in her Mind and Spirit, obviously. I then saw myself assisting in giving Sister injections of Papaya Juice, directly into her abdomen, surrounding her growth. I remember wondering what properties papaya could possibly have to reverse the course of the Growth’s Life. I then saw Sister standing, completely surrounded by a healthy Aura. I then turned and walked out of the Bone. The People who had been lining the Road disappeared as I fell to the Ground in humility. I got the impression they were with Sister in some way, as if she were their Medicine Woman. Now that she was healed, they all went on their way. I thanked all my Guides and Helpers and soon thereafter the Call Back sounded. I believe I was shown one more unrelated image or two before the Call Back, but can’t remember it/them. I shall run my actual Crystal Wand in water to cleanse whatever is left of the Entity so it can go home totally in one piece and in one peace.
Here is Sister’s response later in the same evening of the 8th: “Thank you! A boy…how interesting! There were lots of weak aura times while I was living in the South, so it would not surprise me to have had him attach during that time. Poor kid…thanks for sending him home. I could tell when I was at Disciple tonight that a weight was lifted. My energy started returning and my outlook improved and I thought, “I’ll bet Ken found the time to do the journey.”
Here’s a link to the healing properties of papaya. http://www.europeanvegetarian.org/evu/english/news/news001/papaya.html. [Ed Note: This site is replete with praise for the healing qualities of papaya for many illnesses, including cancer!] Now I’ll have to find a place that has them. Apparently there are both Mexican and Hawaiian variants. Since there was a Mexican connection in the journey, I’m assuming I should go for the Mexican papaya if I can find it.
Interesting about the crowd. The number is about the size of the active membership at my Church, so maybe that’s who they were. And another mention of the eagle on the day that my Florida family writes me that the eagles have begun setting on the nest. They had no young last year at all, so that’s very good news…even more so since their old nest got blown down in one of Florida’s many hurricanes this summer. They had to start from scratch and build a new one…guess it paid off! Maybe it will be a white baby…
Thank you again for following your path and helping me to follow mine in health!”
I then reminded Sister it was the Helpers who passed all this valuable info along, that I was merely the channel. I also mentioned that a White Eaglet would cause quite the stir! Subsequent reading concerning Acorn’s in Ted Andrew’s Nature Speak reveals Acorn to be the symbol of strong male Energy and a source of great strength for Spiritual and other activities!!
12/16: Here are the results of the ultrasound (it appears the Helpers did a REALLY good job!): “She said it appeared that there had been a small cyst on one ovary that had burst during my last cycle. She didn’t see why the woman who did my exam thought there was an enlargement of the uterus, as everything else looked normal..”
3/2/05: A quite noteworthy mini-Journey that deserves a write-up all of its own. My daughter was VERY sick today. From the time I got home at 4 PM through about 9:30, she was running a fever of at least 102.5, and nothing was bringing it down. She had just enough Energy to lie like a Stone and groan. She never asked me to intervene in so many words, but I seem to recall her asking if anything could be done. I thought she meant medicinally, and I couldn’t think of anything outside a cool bath. This was early in the period, and I didn’t really think to intervene “Shamanically.” Not, that is, until about 9:45 at night, when I finally decided this might not be a virus at all, but an invader! So I performed an impromptu Journey, something more established Shamans are capable of. I sat in my computer chair with my pup on my lap and sank into the Shamanic “trance”, with no external aides such as drumming. I saw Owl fly in from my left almost immediately, from a grouping of Branches lit with gorgeous fall Leaves. He and I went immediately to a clearing where I saw a Dark Being with glowing red eyes stomping either on my daughter or stomping in a tight circle around her. I took out my Mirror, which is always with me in the Spirit World, and held it up to the Being. He immediately found himself being sucked into the Mirror as a flow of black Energy. Owl and I then took the mirror over to the River of Life to our left and placed the Mirror face down in the water. Instantly, a long streamlet of red blood flowed from the Mirror and then ran downstream as an elongated pool of red. Soon thereafter, it turned into a dazzling display of rainbow colors. I knew the entity had been transmuted to good. My daughter was now entity-free, and I knew she would feel a lot better the next day.
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WIFE'S TUMMY
8/9/04: A Journey to help my Wife with her tummy and throat problems. These popped up the morning after we took my Mom out to eat for her birthday last Thursday night, and had made it almost impossible for her to eat over the weekend, including a big family party we had Sunday. I figured food poisoning, but didn’t get the chance to Journey until Monday. I prepared as always, and went in for a 10-minute Drum loop. I found myself sitting on my Azurite Stone on a bookshelf in some house, next to a sunny Window. I was so tiny that the Stone (all of an inch long) appeared as a huge rocky Hill, and I could see my reflection in its shiny facets...in this life all of ¼ mm or less in width. Owl then came to the window, paused briefly on the sill, then shrank down himself to my size. He himself manufactured our Journey Tunnel this time, by creating a spray of his own Feathers that grew higher and higher, out the window and up to the sky. We flew up through this circling-feather cylinder and emerged onto a platform of a glass-like Flooring, with real Clouds, but thin and blue, serving as the Walls. Suddenly before me was a very large Scallop, with red lines (Red Tide bacteria?) coursing through various parts of its surface. So it WAS the scallops! Two herb names then floated by me: Mullein and Peppermint. (These were to help my Wife heal, no doubt. We have Peppermint Tea, so I gave her some to take to work the next day.) I checked to see if her Power Animal Raccoon could help, but even though present in a far corner of this “room”, he was occupied with other of my Wife's issues. So Hummingbird, her other PA, arrived..and did the most remarkable thing. She came right up to me eyes and stuck her long beak into each pupil, filling them with Mana, or Spirit Essence. I then found myself inside my Wife’s upper tract and tummy. I ran my hands in circles across her Throat and Stomach lining for several minutes, pouring yellow healing Light through my hands into her tissues. I was also physically moving my hands through the air above my bed at the same time..recall we are still partially in the conscious world during Journeys. Owl and I then traveled back through the Feather Tunnel, and I ended up at my Wife’s work, and saw her working at her desk. I delivered some of that healing Energy to her directly. At this point, the work was done, for my mind began racing toward the installation of Ma’s new computer. At this point, the Call Back Drumming sounded, and I thanked my Helpers and was back.
Cool to report: My Wife came home from work the same evening and told me she started feeling much better in the early afternoon, the time of this Journey…in fact, she relates that she actually felt the massaging going on in her tummy area at the time.
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Shamanic Shape-Shifting for Healing Attempt
3/4/05: A Journey to investigate the dark area in a Woman’s Aura I spotted during our Restoration Ceremony of Feb 25. This area corresponds roughly to an area where she has a physical manifestation of this Energy field. So, I Smudged the Room. Lit the Sacred Candle and Rattled Sacred Space into place. Wearing my Mirror for Energy and Protection, I was off.
Most interestingly, I was met right off the bat by Angshwa, my White Owl Guide. He was the Guide I met when I performed my very first Journey for Janie. This Guide seems to have a personal interest in the Woman’s Well-Being, for while I did not even have him in mind for this particular Journey, nonetheless he had volunteered. And here he was, swooping down right in front of me as we both occupied the space at the top of a bunch of close and tall, snow covered Pine Trees. We looked below, and way down there, in the middle of a small clearing, I could see a well-lit cabin. It was quite dark there, for the yellow lights in the windows really stood out. As we descended toward this cabin, however, it turned into a large Fire. When we got to the surface, I saw four Dark Beings sitting around this Fire. It appeared as if they were trying to warm themselves, but I saw one place his hand directly in the Fire with absolutely no result. No burning, no pain. I then realized these beings were totally cut off from the Fire of Life, but were still seeking it. Owl and I stood off to the side, watched and waited. I wasn’t sure whether to intervene with these Beings or not, and decided waiting was indeed the best thing. Suddenly, a large Wolf emerged from the woods. He was quite unhappy and was snarling at the Fire and the Beings around it. He moved up to and slowly paced round the Fire, as if sensing the Beings there but unable to see them. He did, however, spot Angshwa and I and came over to visit with us. He became friendly with us and especially my Guardian, Gray Wolf, and they sort of hit it off. Angshwa and I then looked right, and saw an opening in the woods through which a snow-covered road led. This road went over a small, frozen creek via a small bridge with minimal height and wooden rails on either side. I then saw a body float up and press against the clear ice covering the creek. I sensed there were more bodies beneath this one, and that the Beings at the Fire were spirits of these Bodies. They had obviously died unnaturally. Most remarkably, I then saw the two sisters leaning against the rails and looking out across the creek. I then sensed that a bit of the Dark Energy from these Beings crept into the Twins, unaware of the invasion. Hence, they were not hit with a full Entity invasion, but Imprints were left. It almost appeared to have happened by chance.,they just happened to be there as that Energy drifted by. At this point, there was a pause in the Journey. Perhaps Angshwa went back for guidance. In any case, when we both were back together, I was shown the Woman has had a rainbow colored Wreath of Energy placed around her head. This will be there for the next two weeks. My duty is to place Spiritual Sage into the Rainbow Wreath from here on a daily basis, to keep it fresh. This Wreath will gradually absorb the dark Imprint in the Woman’s Aura. I shall gladly do this. At this point, the Journey was over.
4/8/05:Hi,
Hope you all had a nice Easter, we had a house full.
I have been so busy, that’s why I didn’t email sooner, but I wanted to get your thoughts on a ‘dream’ I had near the end of the sage placement you did for me. It wasn’t a dream as I would normally call it, but more like a vision. As I was sleeping, and I saw a pair of eyes so close to my face looking at me, but they weren’t human eyes, they were eyes of a bird, I thought a eagle or hawk, and right behind the him, was an owl, and the owls eyes were coming closer to my face along side the eagle / hawk. I was so startled by this that I woke up, I looked at the clock and I was about 7 am. It took me a few days to realize, but I must have been thinking of you and your helper. Do you think I could have had a vision of you, Hawk and your helper, Angshwa ??
There is no rush on this, I just thought you would find this interesting, and then it might have been just a thought in the back of my mind.
Well, you guys have a great weekend, we plan on going hiking with the dog tomorrow and enjoy the outdoors, Talk soon,
My Reply: Your vision is nothing short of thrilling, for I performed your final 6 or 7 visits [to work on the growth by your ear] as a Hawk in the early morning, around 5 AM. I would shape shift into Hawk, fly over to your house, circle around you and chant while placing the Sage, and then fly back. There can be little doubt but that you actually saw me as Hawk in your vision. As far as Owl goes, it’s also truly amazing, for I would run into Owl on some of my flights over there. There was one morning in particular where we flew together for a while. Could very well have been Angshwa, or else Eagle Claw, my Upper World Guide. Thanks for telling me this, for it makes sense for you now..and gives me more confidence in my shape-shifting skills.
4/27/06:Hi,
I just wanted to let you know that I had a good report from the Drs. Yesterday. The tumor has shrunk in size again and I don’t have to have another MRI until May 2008JJ
Many thanks for all you’ve done! You really know your stuff!!!
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