1/24/04: This afternoon’s Journey was to see if I could negotiate a surrender, so to speak, with a dear friend's mom’s disease. I prepared the room with Sage and Sweet Grass, and also shook my Rattle to the three levels of each of the 7 Directions to set up an even more Sacred Space. I lit my Candle to ensure the presence of the Good Light while I was gone. I used Shamanic Breathing to increase my Mana supply and to relax. I used the long version of the Meadows CD for the actual Journey. While I was relaxing, I sent the protective shield of my Luminous Body over to cover her mom as well, so nothing I did would inadvertently hurt her. But I also restricted this covering to protection only, so that none of each other’s energies would use it as a bridge to reach the other. I met Hawk, and we took off together. We flew higher, and eventually saw a Cloud Person with a purple entry hole. We headed into this Tunnel. The sides were made of hard rainbow chunks with rather sharp edges, and as we soared through this Tunnel I felt myself melding my Spirit more with the Hawk’s so that we would be almost one Being. We emerged onto a flat plain where the ground was made of broken chunks of small-stone-sized, cloudy Quartz Crystal pieces stuck together for as far as the eye could see. A short distance away, I saw a large building made of the same materials that was about 4 stories high with turrets..a mini castle. The windows and door were as foreboding a black color as I had ever seen. I sat on a bench and Eagle Claw came up to sit next to me. He grabbed my hand and held it, as if giving me courage to go to the door. When I got there, just as I put my foot over the threshold, I felt as if I was slipping down into a chasm..a feeling of falling, being pulled in. I quickly realized I needed Guides with me, so I called on Gray Wolf and Two Feathers to stay on either side of me. They arrived, took up their positions, and we went in. Movement through the black slog was quite slow and tedious, a testimony to how black and thick this energy was. It was completely dark for a few minutes. Then, off to the right, we saw a very dark blue outline of a table. We walked over to it and sat down, hoping to meet with the Spirit of the Disease. It did show up, but immediately set about to trying to invade my Aura. I felt a strong tingling in my body as my Aura resisted, and I had a feeling of energy depletion and sinking. The three of us strengthened our Spirit Bodies to resist, using my Eagle Claw chant to call in the extra Rainbow Light. I actually had to determinedly call my Rainbow Aura to mind to give it enough power to make it visible enough to overcome the darkness feeling and surroundings. As it was, my Aura was very close to me and very distinct, as if being compressed from without. Then, on one wall, I saw a blue outline of a coffin with her mom already in it. Did this mean we were going to fail? I was then taken up to the top floor, to one of the turret windows. There, a human-sized White Being with no features appeared. It pointed out the window, and I went to look. The stars were all transmitting rainbow shafts of light down to the area, and the outside of the building and the ground were dancing in the colors. I sensed the White Being wanted me to ask it for help, but very slowly. So I said, “I am Four Hawks and I would like to ask this Disease’s Spirit if it will let go of my friend’s mom” in a very slow way. As I finished, the White Being stood aside to consider. I suddenly saw a point of darkness ahead of me, and a spear came rushing toward me and penetrated my Aura. It was the Disease attacking me again. Once more, I felt the sinking feeling as I tingled. I tried to remove the Spear but could not as my energy drained, so I asked Two Feathers and Gray Wolf to pull it out for me. They did, and they patched up the hole in my Aura. This is why one should always have Spirit Helpers along. I sensed from this response that there was no way the Disease will voluntarily give up. I then saw a series of images. I saw Robins flying over mom and also our friends' house, an instruction to send Robin Medicine their way. I placed my Woman in a Dress over mom’s face and sang the Woman’s chant, to try to ease mom’s travel. I saw a gray haired man waiting patiently on the other side of a glass door..mom’s Spirit Escort? I saw the shape of a Horse’s head, calling to mind my own humble beginnings as a Shaman way back when..and the last thing I saw was a small Spider, the creating one, center of the Web. For most of my time in this building, I could not help thinking about how aggressive and depleting this Disease felt to me. As I came back, I grounded my Aura firmly to Mother Earth and soaked up her Fire Medicine. I felt a wild electricity running through my Body, evidence of Cleansing. I called on the Green Elixir to pour over me and remove any hint of the Disease I might have picked up. I thanked all my Guides and Guardians for their help and protection. When I came back to my feet, I literally doused myself with Sage Smoke for cleansing and negative energy removal, cleaned my Chakras, and reshaped my Aura with my Eagle Feather. Even an hour after the event, the disturbing nature of this Disease is still in my mind. I am glad I made this extraordinary Journey, as I felt it was my duty, but this is really the first one I have come back from feeling very humbled and somewhat disturbed. This is the true Path of a Shaman Healer, for there are times when one cannot heal and places oneself in danger of being hurt oneself. I’m very glad I had learned through study how to react and protect myself. I realized also that I never tried to heal her..that was not the purpose of this journey. I was hoping for a voluntary departure. I shall try to heal her using my more traditional Methods, taught to me in prior Journeys. I’m not sure I’m ready to head back into this Disease and take it on in Battle just yet. I’ll await Guidance from Dreams and Cards for that.
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Beating a Generational Curse
1/23/04: Tonight’s Journey was in response to the earlier inspiration I had on the road today that a dark Force or Being had been attached to my family for generations, and it was now time to find out what it was and dispel it. While all of us have been successful, we’ve all had a degree of failure in our lives that speaks of something attacking us at key moments, preventing us from reaching our goals and full potential. The fact a rare and very bright red Ancestor Bird flew right in front of me as I was considering this reinforced my perception. I knew that if there were such a Force/Being, it would be a tough fight that I might lose as I could sense it was very powerful, but I prayed the rest of the afternoon and prepared myself in case I found the time tonight. And I did. I smudged the room with both Sage and Sweet Grass, and called in the Spirits to assist me. I left a note saying that if I did not return, for my wife to get a Shaman from the local Native store to get me back. But I was not about to shun this great challenge, as I felt it was up to me alone to deal with this. For added safety, I took a small round Stone Person that had been sitting in front of my Pipe, and held it in my left hand for grounding during my away time. I used the longer version of the Meadows drumming CD by earphones, lit a candle and turned out the lights and began. I was wired at first, so to calm down during the prep drumming I used the Shamanic Breath and concentrated on my mission: to discover if there was generational Dark Force, and if so to dispel it. As I lay there, I called up the Spirit Guides and Totems I had decided earlier in the day to take with me: Gray Wolf, Alligator (Snaps Shut) and Snake (Crosses in Front), as well as Hawk. We met in the back yard but had a false start or two..there didn’t seem to be the right opening. The normal openings seemed irrelevant. Suddenly I spotted a very old hole to my right, and suggested we try it. It was obviously very aged, and had a crusty, worn and tattered look to it. We ventured down this Tunnel together, and it was immediately quite dark. On all other Journeys there were lights and roots and the like, and the Tunnels were quite pleasant. This one was just plain dark. As we went down further there was just no light whatsoever. Suddenly, coming out of the darkness a bit to my left was a Deer with very shiny golden eyes. It came up to my left ear and whispered that I needed to strengthen my Aura more. So, I took myself out of the Tunnel and off to the Tree of Life I had visited in an earlier Journey, and partook of the Mana globes, also stuffing a few into my Skull eye sockets to ward off any fears of Death. I then returned to the Tunnel and we went further in. As we did so, we seemed to cross some sort of invisible barrier or membrane, and we were suddenly back in my room. As I lay in the bed, I sensed the presence of the Dark Force right in the room with me, filling almost the entire space before me. I found myself taking its perspective and looking back at me and my Guides. I could see us sitting together on my bed, protected by a Rainbow Aura that covered us all as one essence. I saw us shrinking down to a very small size as the Force tried to get rid of us in one easy swoop by reducing us to nothing. I quickly hopped back to my position inside the Aura and asked the Force who or what it was. Suddenly, I saw in my mind’s eye a scene in what must have been Sicily or a similar Mediterranean place. I saw an older gentleman kneeling on the ground, putting the finishing touches on the makeshift grave of a baby girl. I sensed this was an act of cover-up, that perhaps the baby had been eliminated to save money or because it was an unwanted girl versus a needed boy..hard to say. I saw the Dark Being move in from behind and actually attach itself to this man as he did his work. I readied myself for Battle, convinced I had found the source of our “curse.” I fashioned a glowing Spear that contained the Fire Medicine of the Core of Mother Earth. I fashioned arrows glowing with the Power of Grandfather Sun. With those Two Fire Powers, my Fire Medicine was balanced and complete. Suddenly, hundreds (if not more) Dark Being Birds started soaring down at me from above. The sky and ground literally turned black with the huge number of attackers. I pumped my Aura up, and as I did so could actually feel my Earth Body tingling with Energy as I lay in the bed, and held my Stone Person tighter. I sent my Allies Wolf, Snake and Alligator into the fray to begin destroying the Dark Birds. I also used my Spear to do likewise. Hawk was circling well above us, and turning into each the Four Directions colors as it passed through each quadrant, indicating the Powers of those Grandfathers were working from above as we fought below. At one point the Dark Bird coverage got so thick I felt myself completely enveloped and being lifted off the ground. I then saw my Teacher, Eagle Claw, above me, and he was huge. He stomped down onto the scene. He reminded me by his presence to begin my healing chant he had given me a few months ago, and so I repeated Westu Waja Wasaji over and over, calling in Rainbow Light to eat up the Darkness. The Darkness was rapidly dispelled at this point, and the sky brightened back up and the ground returned to its normal green and brown self. I saw Alligator and Wolf lying dead(?) beside me from the Battle, and I moved my hand over them to restore them to life. I then invoked the Prayer given me by and to use with my “Woman in a Dress” from the Amazon (given me by Charlotte). By chanting Sheshi Wasaji Omapu over and over, I freed the Spirit of the Baby Girl that had been buried. Interesting enough, after the Journey I happened to look up at the Woman hanging on my wall, and one of the Feathers that had been pointing upward all along was now on its side, indicating the Spirit of the Woman had actually left the Wall hanging to join me in the Journey. I then turned my attention to the Grandfather, who was still kneeling there. He had a large Snake with evil-looking eyes protruding from his midsection where his penis should have been. The snake was at least 1 ½ feet long. This told me for sure that the curse had been transmitted through the act of procreation over the generations, guaranteeing its effectiveness..clever. I sent Alligator and Snake to destroy this Being. At this point, the Grandfather and the Ground were both clean, and the former disappeared. He might have finally gone to the Light, so to speak. I then scratched my Shaman Symbol into the ground where the Baby had been buried to secure the site for only good acts, protected by good Shaman Medicine. I then began to pray for removal of the curse from all the generations, from then to now through history. I had no idea how far back this event was. I found myself viewing the wheel of time, and I saw a bright red streak flow through a small section of the Energy Disc of Life as if it was erasing part of the data. I assumed it was that part of history that contained this event and the curse through time afterward. I then saw a green streak flow in right over the same place on the Disc. I was then aware of this huge Bowl hanging over my head, pouring an emerald green substance down all over me. This was washing away my curse energies. I then prayed that this healing Elixir would flow over all the people in my family effected by this Dark Energy curse. I never got to meet a physical Being in this endeavor, and have concluded therefore that it was an Energy presence versus an Entity. The wonderful feeling I had as I was washed clean of this “curse-to-make-us-fail” is still with me as I write this summary a day later. In a rather mature action, I took on the Force that had been attached to us since before most of us were born, and only a Shaman could have righted this problem. I was thrilled I survived. As I got to my first stop today, no Crows were in the Tree next to the building, but I did hear two caws. That made me walk out to find out where the Crow actually was. As I did so, a HUGE Gull flew up off the ground and right before me, looped around the top of the building, and then flew right back down again. At first I thought it was a Heron due to its size and slow wing thrusts. But as Sea Gull symbolized freedom, it was a great thrill to see my being freed of this curse made manifest by the freedom Spirit Bird whose presence had been announced to me by my announcer Spirit Bird. Later on the route, a small Hawk flew up from the marsh to my right and right over my car as I drove. I trust my brothers and sisters felt this healing moment, but had no idea what was happening.
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Rescuing a Soul Piece, while Jesus Watches...
1/6/06: A Journey taken at a Client's request to determine the source of his current debilitating weakness..
As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself at a Train Station. The Train was stopped and sitting before me. It was Twilight, or very late Afternoon. I saw Owl sitting on one of the Seat Rails. I saw my Client, sitting alone on the Car, staring out the Window. The Windows had blinds, and many of them were drawn. The Train took off. We sped into a dark Tunnel. We came to a Stop at A Station where a ghostly Porter stood. He came to the Door and announced to us it was Time to get off: ”Sir, this is your Stop!” When we did, we found ourselves inside a Station full of religious Icons, Statues and Artifacts. My Client went up to the Base of this huge Collection and knelt, and prayed. Owl then took me aside and pulled me up through the Stone Hill that served as the Station’s Roof. We went to the Top of this mini-Mountain. There, I found a large, burning Cross. The Flames appeared not to be of Fire, but of Spirit Energy taking on that Appearance. A deep Voice emerged from the Flames. “So, Shaman, we meet again,” it said. “Yes,” I said, “and my brother is in great Pain.” The Voice answered, “Many pray to me through the Statues and Icons, but don’t know how to hear my Answers!” At this Point, Jesus emerged from the Cross. He came to my Side and began going back down through the Mountain with me. I felt an extraordinary, total Peace at his Side. We went down to my Client. “Look, Shaman,” said Jesus. “See how your Client’s Lower World Soul has left him completely!” Sure enough, it was roaming outside his Body, coming nearer, then moving farther away. My Client's “Suns” Soul then took off, bolting down a dark Tunnel. I took off after it instinctively. We came out of the Tunnel into a very dark Place. All I could see was the Soul Piece, a small Orb of Light, darting around in the Blackness a little bit ahead of me. I took out my Shaman Mirror and absorbed the Soul Piece into it for safe Keeping. I looked around and saw a small Opening of Light..the Tunnel back! I headed for it quickly, for I had a strong sense of Foreboding in this Place. It seemed like an endless Chasm of Nothingness. I felt as if I was being chased, or pulled at. As I was in the Tunnel, I felt myself being pulled back. Owl stuck his Wing into the Tunnel before me. I grabbed it. He pulled me up as the long Tunnel behind me kept sealed with Rock just behind me as I moved along. I just made it, and this is the closest I have ever been to being lost forever on a Journey. But it was worth it! When we were back in the Station, Jesus told me my Client’s Soul had fled to the part of the Lower World where Souls do NOT reincarnate. They either remain in absolute Darkness there, or cease to exist. He told me this means my Client feels unworthy of living right now. Jesus then went up to the kneeling man and put his Hands in his. He began speaking softly to him. I could not hear what he said, but I’m sure the Topic was my Client’s Self-Image. This was the personal Relationship people need to have with Jesus..one on one, Hands in Hands. I was then told to place my Client’s Soul Piece in a clear piece of Crystal Quartz I had bought earlier in the Day. I’m to send it along with the 10-ball Ongon for his Son. We then went back to the Top of the Mountain. There, a Man appeared. He had Hair covering his Face down to his Neck. Two small Horns of Light emerged from the top sides of his Head. I asked Jesus who this Man is. Jesus said, “You call him the Anti-Christ..but he is necessary to preserve the Sacred Balance. However, he is not someone you’d want to side with..” Jesus then told me that he and I will work together again. I found this astonishingly wonderful and humbling. The final Scene of the Journey seemed to come from nowhere. I saw a Man wearing Sandals land on his Knees next to a Canoe stored on some Sawhorses, Bottom up. The Call Back then sounded.
NOTES: Pretty much self-explanatory. The darkness of Twilight, the solitary Client on the Train, the drawn Blinds, all speaking to how cut-off Bruce feels from Life. The meeting with Jesus shows my Client is right to maintain a personal communication with him, versus praying to icons. The 10-ball and Crystal will be on their way shortly, with instructions. Meanwhile, we have managed to keep him from seriously shortening his life through the loss of his soul piece.. my Friend, Jesus wants you to recover from this..of that, this Journey shows, there can be no doubt.
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