Journey 21 - Rains Again Revealed

10/29: A quick Rattle Journey. I asked my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, to meet me and take me anywhere he thought I should go. We slithered along the forest floor for a short time until we reached a small tree with a hollow at the very bottom. Into the hollow we went. What a sight to behold inside this 4-inch diameter Tree. There was a huge Plain before me, stretching for miles, dotted with Tipis. Up the inside walls of the Tree, reaching hundreds of feet up, flowed paths of Rainbow light. Green and gold Spirit Energy filaments were hanging in the air. I am suddenly sitting with an Elder, who speaks to me. He reveals that even though I was once the Shaman Rains Again, I no longer am, and should not refer to myself as such, as I have been doing (in Prayer I call myself Four Hawks/Rains Again). He said my only Shaman name now was to be Four Hawks. He told me that as Rains Again, I was very powerful. But, before I was ready, I began dabbling with dark Spirit Energies I should not have. This brought very bad times to the Village and my People turned on me. (Aside: this must be why I got such negative feelings during my initial Journeys to this 5-Stone Altar). I therefore lost my Power. This Power loss was (is) also the ultimate source of the inferiority feelings I had as a boy and young man, going way back past the childhood episodes revealed in a recent Journey and recorded earlier in this Journal. My Elder told me that I was doing it right now, and on the correct Path of Truth once again. He told me using the 5-Stone Altar is absolutely fine, as long as I don’t approach/use it as Rains Again. He also told me that the straying I did as Rains Again is why I am not given permission to contact the Spirits of those who have recently passed on. He said my skills are nowhere near what they need to be to handle such tricky affairs yet. For now, I am to continue my explorations of myself and the Spirit Camp to gain knowledge and Power. Maybe someday, he said, you will be strong enough to start dealing with the powerful, tricky and grasping darkness of some of the Astral Beings.