Shaman Four Hawks Welcomes You

When the Door of Hope closes, the Door to the Shaman opens...

Welcome, my friend.

I am a practicing Shaman. If you have need of Services such as Soul Restoration, Afterlife Contacts, Spirit Health Check and/or Healing, Resolution of a spiritual Emergency, Decision Guidance, Past-Life Revealing, etc...then email me at fourhawks01@comcast.net

SITE UPDATE NOTES, AS OF 3/25/08:

I have started my new web site for my upcoming foundation. You can visit http://www.shamanicnortheast.org/ and get the introductory information formerly presented here in a tighter, easier format. Eventually I will post a few Journeys there as well. My pay scale is there as well. As I mentioned before, my Helpers also wish for me to place more emphasis on being compensated for non-healing type Works from now on on a regular scale, while healing services are still on a voluntary basis.

I have several other links now that one can visit.

The first is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SBqtkNLzo where you can see a video introduction. This link takes you away from my Blog.

You may also view my entire MySpace profile at http://www.myspace.com/153630758 and go to the video from there.

I also have a community for discussion at http://tribes.tribe.net/shamanspirit# This "Shaman Spirit" "Tribe" is designed for give and take, so we can discuss matters of Life and Spirit. Please feel free to join my "Tribe".

The "Shaman Intro" which was here is again now at www.shamanicnortheast.org/intro.htm. Thanks!

NOTE: You can see now there are groupings of Journeys under various Headings: "Healing", "Visiting the Dead", etc. I'll keep adding more to these and enter a few more categories. This will make the breadth and depth of Shamanic Practice more obvious. And now, onto the Works!!

Peace and Love,

FOUR HAWKS.

A New Take on Dreams

I had a very interesting set of Dreams the past few nights that have given me a perspective I have not read in any formal treatise yet. Alberto Villodo's study of Incan Shamanism is the most full concerning "Imprints" on the Aura. These are Energy fields that accompanied an initial wounding (fear, abuse, etc.) that remain with us, locked into our Auras, long after the event has gone past. These Imprints can be subsequently triggered by a new event that has a similar shape. The energy of the first wounding then spills into our Chakras and nervous system, causing us to react and feel as we did in the first offense. This tends to keep us "stuck" in our past, and hinders us from learning to deal with the present and future events of similar nature.

I have in the past few nights had a couple of dreams that are replays of times of intense frustration...where I once again go through a seriies of events that either make me outraged or full of doubt. And I just realized that these are not messages from the Spirits, although some Dreams certainly are. These are merely Imprints obviously still locked in my Aura that are firing off at random, causing these Dreams! In other words, they are not messages from the Spirits, they are messages from my OWN SPIRIT. They are indicators that I stilll have these energy zones active and present in my Aura. This is quite revealing, for now I understand why this type of Dream repeats itself every so often. It's a request by my Aura, if you will, to deal with this remnant energy and remove it. The best part...finally knowing this is what these Dreams signify now makes it very easy to remove the Imprints, for once you know it is there you can wash it away quite easily with Thought and Ritual.

So now I know a lot of my Dreams are actually my own Aura crying out for attention, versus some repeating message from the Spirits that I cannot decode. These are not Teacher Dreams per se...they are Dreams of Self-Revelation. Cool eh? Look back over your own Dream sequences and see if there is a repeating theme to some of them. More than likely you will suddenly realize they are indeed the result of old "fears" or old woundings that have never healed...just reminding you they are still there. :) The sooner they are removed, the better you will act, feel...and dream.

Forces from Client's Youth Revealed

Here is Journey number 1 (keep in mind that the results of a Journey can be metaphor versus actual...however, the underlying truths are never compromised. These Journeys were painted for you, not for me, and so everything seen is something the Helpers feel you need to know...):

"4/12/07: A Journey taken at the Request of a Client to see what Energies were at Play in some very deleterious Events in his recent past. This Client related to me that he was recovering from a suicide attempt, a sign that usually points strongly to some sort of Sprit Invasion, but of course not always. In this case, I found two separate Dark Energies at work within the Client’s life, one placed there near birth by a Being of unknown origin, and a second that was there due to an ancestor’s intervention. It is less clear what effect this latter Being had, but we see my Client in a powerful fight with it toward the end of the Journey. Before I entered the Spirit World, I performed a Mongolian 5-Coin Divination. This gives us a quick, general Overview of his current Spiritual Health. I got the following Reading: H T 2H T. Here is the Meaning: “At home things are neutral. Peace of Mind. Querent wins lawsuit. Business good. If ill, do a ritual to Father Heaven.” This told me that my Client is essentially in good Shape, as there are several positive Strains revealed here. I also checked to see, via Pendulum, if he had indeed suffered a Soul Loss during his Attempt, as he suspects. I was told. No, he did not lose part of his Soul.

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself standing on my large Shaman Mirror from Mongolia. This is my most powerful Mirror, having ten “Dalha” Spirits associated with it, as well as the Shaman Spirit of Chinnghis Khan. Whenever I find myself on this Mirror, I know I’m in for a Time with some very powerful Spirit Energies. As I looked around, I saw that the Ten Dalha Spirits, as usual equally spaced around the Perimeter of the Mirror, were representing themselves as burning Flames. I saw a Dark Being sitting in a Depression in the Middle of the Mirror. I took my extra Shaman Mirror and held it in front of me to supplement the one around my Neck, for added Protection. As I moved closer to this Being, my Vision was being squelched, causing the Flames above to narrow. I felt high pressure around my Head and Ears. “This is as close as I can get,” I yelled up. I then saw a Scene forming within the Dark Being’s Form. It revealed to me a Baby lying in a Crib. I knew this Baby to be my Client. I saw the Baby slapped, and at first wondered if it was my Client’s Parents’ doing this. But then I sensed this was a dark, brooding Presence doing the slapping…something not human. I then saw the Baby literally flying through the Air, on its Back, with all its Surrounding flying by. This instilled a permanent Sense of impeding Falling and Instability into my Client. I then saw the Baby back in its Crib, and watched as the same Dark Being I first saw placed a black Orb of Energy into Grey through his Face. This stunned the Baby into a glassy Gaze. The Scene then shifted, and I saw my Client playing as a small Boy in his Yard. Both while he was playing on a dirt Mound, and on a Swing Set, he sensed this background Fear of Falling playing out subconsciously. As he got older this Sense of Falling began to evolve into a Sense of Dread, a Sense of Something lurking. This is strongest whenever he is alone, and has followed him through Life. He is capable of joy, but whenever alone senses Something is there.

The Scene then shifted back to the Mirror and the Dark Being at its Center. It shape-shifted into a Bat, rabid and vicious. The Scene then shifted and I was in a Yard once again, where a Cat was bitten on the Neck by this rabid Bat. The Cat then quickly went crazy and ran off into a nearby reed-filled Swamp and drowned itself. I then looked up to see the Bat flying against a bright, full Moon, and the in the next Instant a dark, new Moon, strangely hanging in the twilit Sky. When it flew against the new Moon, it was a darker black than the Moon. I saw that this Bat has been flying around my Client from Time to Time.

The Scene then shifted again. We were in the Room where my Client had been trying to recover from his Attempt. I then saw the Dark Orb that had been placed inside my Client as a Baby dancing around through his Spirit Body with his other Soul pieces. I saw it flee his Body once it thought he was dead. So THIS is why he thought he had lost a Soul Piece…he actually had lost this extra, dark Soul Piece. I then saw a young, maternal Spirit coming down toward him carrying his Upper World Soul back to him, gently upper in her Hands. I then saw Greg’s Earth Soul a few Feet away from his still Body. I saw him fighting with a dark Shape of a Man wearing a Hat. While this very energetic Struggle was going on, a Cat appeared and quickly shape-shifts in a large Lion. This caused the dark Shape to flee. I followed him, and saw that he was in a Suit, wearing a turn of the last century Hat. He came up close to me and as he did so, I noticed his face was entirely skeletal. We were then in a Cemetery, where I saw the Man sitting alone next to his own Grave. I sensed he had been there for Years, alone. Then, possibly because of my Intervention, some Luminous Beings came and took him. “Finally!” he yelled. Then he looked back to me and yelled, “Thanks!” I was suddenly then back on the Mirror. I watched as the Dalha now fired their Fire Energy down into the Dark Being, who was transmuted to rainbow Light and faded. I and the Spirits were then alone. Suddenly the Air was filled with floating Red and Green Grape Clusters. I then saw Pomegranates, and then Mediterranean/Greek foods Outlays. The Call Back then sounded."

NOTES: The BAT, according to Ted Andrews, symbolizes “new truths and perceptions” Bats are the only mammals that fly, and flight implies a rising above, the promise hidden within the chaotic energies of change. Bats imply barriers will be pierced and new truths uncovered. Bats are associated with rebirth and coming out of the darkness, new vision. Changes will be for the best even if the benefits are not yet obvious. That which was misunderstood becomes clearer. The fact Bats sleep upside-down also implies new perspective. Bats control pest insects, aid in pollination, and even find their waste has benefits for other life. This again certifies that however situations appear, they will work out to our benefit. With their great hearing and echolocation, Bats imply an increased ability to discern hidden messages and implications. Trust your instincts. In the negative, Bat implies a failure to rise above. Get new perspectives and let go of the past. Do not remain emotionally attached to what is no longer helpful. Facing our fears ultimately has great value for us. Questions: Are we avoiding facing the inevitable? Are we refusing to see the truth of a situation? Are we comfortable with the “devil we know?” Are fears ruling us? Are our imaginings overblown, or are we not seeing things as they are?

LION as Power Animal: Keynote: Strength of Will from the inner Sun. The Lion has consistently been a symbol of the sun and of gold. Its appearance reflects the need for gentle strength and patience in order to achieve the gold of our goals. The lion is unusual in the cat family in that it lives in “prides.” Therefore, in all group and community activities, this is a time for patience, gentleness and cooperation. Force will not work. This is re-emphasized in the fact that lions usually hunt as a group, and are rather clumsy hunting alone. Lions do not fight for fighting’s sake, but hunt through stealth. They avoid confrontation, but will defend themselves fiercely if need be. This demonstrates then when we are pursuing endeavors, strength of will, stealth, and cooperation will work best. Females do most of the hunting, work and caretaking in the pride. The appearance of lion therefore indicates the need to assert the inner sun, the feminine qualities within: patience, gentleness and strength of love. In some cultures the sun is considered the feminine power: it gives birth to new days, and warms and nurtures us. So, trust the feminine aspects that live within: creativity, intuition, imagination. Lion demands a balance between assertion and patience. Do not lose nerve, and yet do not surrender. Remain firm and patient. And don’t be afraid to roar if you feel threatened. There’s a nice recommendation for dietary discipline at the bottom, for grapes, natural vegetables and a lack of red meat...more lamb, I would guess, and other Mediterranean delicacies."

Here is Journey number 2: "4/14/07: A Journey taken at the Request of my Client to see what my Helpers might have to say concerning his Future in Terms of Riches and Abundance. Even as I was just entering the Spirit World, I noticed there was a Dark Being running around the outside of the House. Then, as I sank deeper into the Journey, I found a Coyote staring at me at very close Range. It was almost as if I was on my Back and pinned by it. Then, I saw a rectangular Shield of Spirit Plasma, roughly the same Size as the Coyote. The Plasma Shield was being fed in short Bursts from individual Stars. Then, surprisingly, and perhaps I injected this, a Road Runner appeared for a short time to my Right. The Coyote was then suddenly pulled up into the Plasma. Utawa, my Shaman Mirror Spirit, appeared and said we needed to follow him. We went in, and were floating freely in an Area in which many Possibilities, represented by Distinct Objects moving in random Directions, were present. The background was a white Mist, and the Possibilities were of many Colors and Shapes. The Coyote was there, and suddenly sat down at a Piano that was floating by. He actually began to play it skillfully, and then the Scene shifted. We were in some sort of ground floor, open Patio of a restaurant attached to a Hotel. There was the Coyote, dressed elegantly, playing Piano. This was the last of the useful Images I received. I finally reached the Call Back."

Since this was such a short Journey, I asked my Helpers afterwards if this was the definitive Journey concerning my Client’s Question, and they said no, so I’ll have to go back in. But I also asked if I should even send this to him, and they said yes. So there are Lessons and Hints in here at least concerning this Question.

NOTE: COYOTE: Keynotes: Wisdom and Folly. The Coyote is extremely gifted, embodying intelligence, playfulness, adaptability and loyalty. It is seen as both a Trickster and a Teacher. It reminds us of our many possibilities. The Coyote teaches that folly and wisdom go hand in hand. The most successful people are those who learn to have fun in their work. These people trust in the fact that all things happen according to some plan, even if the plan is not entirely known. They know it will work out, since they rely on their ability to handle whatever comes their way. Coyote teaches it is time to find a balance between work and play. Coyotes cooperate in tracking down prey, reminding us that such cooperative efforts are usually more effective and successful, especially at this time. Coyote’s territorial expansion teaches us to remain adaptable, and to extend endeavors in spite of opposition. While an animal of paradox, Coyote reminds us we have much more power and control over our lives and decisions than we realize. Be flexible, laugh and choose what is best for you, even if it is the most difficult choice. Coyote’s appearance suggests you are at a crossroads, and decisions now are very important. Maintain your childlike poise amidst the surrounding chaos. Keep your sense of humor, following your heart’s desires and trusting your childlike perception. Know that even if you make a wrong decision, you will see that and have the instinct to quickly correct them. Questions: Are things too simple or complicated? Are we outsmarting ourselves? Have we forgotten play is essential? Are we too inflexible? Are we complicating a simple matter? Is there too much folly and not enough wisdom? "

As you can see, I have to go back in on this second request, but will do so after I hear your reactions to these. Please don't see my lack of contacting you as me not being concerned. Shamans do not interfere in other lives, so I was simply waiting for you to ask me for more help. :) We like to let people walk their Sacred Paths uninterrupted, so I always figure if people really need me, they know how to get to me. :)

Peace and Love, Ken

My Client's amazing Response:

"I appreciate the time you took to do the Journeys and release the Dark forces. As an aside, my brother related to me how he saw my mother throw me across the bathroom where I hit my head (at the age of three) and had seizures ever since. He also related how he saw her slap me around in the crib and elsewhere because I was slower than my older brothers on picking up basics (crawling, walking, etc.). Would appreciate it if you'd care to devote more time, to hear what else you'd care to reveal.

And Yes, I would like more on the Coyote Journey. I had to smile as I read the previously-distracted Coyote was now playing the piano -- I am writing a screenplay and wonder if the Coyote image is telling me to keep up the play of "working" on the screenplay because my abundance will come out of creativity, even though I can get sidetracked by pesky roadrunners from time-to-time and have undying faith in the "Acme Company" makers of dynamite and various roadblocks that always backfire. Thanks WISE ONE! "

Name Games

4/12/07: A Journey taken at the Request of a Client to see what Energies are at Play in her Future.

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself standing with my Shaman Mirror Guide, Utawa, on a metal Platform overlooking a rapidly spinning Ball of light blue Energy. I got the Sense of standing in some Sort of Manufacturing Room or perhaps a Research Area. I was told the blue Ball was a Representation of all the Threads of Future Time. I immediately turned to Utawa and asked, “How are we supposed to pick my Client’s Future out of that?!” Utawa agreed that it did not seem possible. I then looked across to the other Side of the Room above the blue Ball, and there was my Client, standing on an identical Platform, looking down at the Ball also! Behind her was dancing a full-size Human-like Energy Being whose Colors were constantly changing. I reached across the Gulf between us with a Staff much longer than it was, picked up the Being and drew it over to myself. I asked it, “Why are you bothering Mary?” It answered, “I’m not! She is creating me with her varying Thoughts and Attitudes. She need to focus to make me turn purple only.” [NOTE: purple is the Color of the highest Chakra, the one tied to the Upper World where the Spirit Blueprint of all our Lives is kept.] I then decided to go over and visit Mary. I shape-shifted into a Hawk and took off to fly toward her directly, over the blue Ball. A very sudden and stiff Wind arose to try to hold me back. I was making no Progress until Eagle came to my left to empower me some more, and Blue Heron came up in front of me to help break the Power of the Wind. I flew in its Backwash. I then fell abruptly into a white Sphere. I was standing near a single Table, where Mary was sitting, motionless, looking upward, and wearing a Smile. I took Mary by the Hand and led her out of the Whiteness and back into the blue Ball Room. She threw a red Rose into the Sphere. This, I was told, will seed the Future for her. However, the exact Nature of that Future was not revealed to me.

Client Response 4/14: Hmmm...just got up from a semi rest state so forgive me if I am still a
bit groggy here...overnights are my weekend theme again.
First I want to bring attention to the name of Mary that you used in
the journey. Is this not important in some fashion or perhaps a simple
over site as my name is "xxxxx"…the rest I will have to think about a bit here and get back with you…okay? :)..

thank you so very much for the wonderful nice surprise /gift of this
journey and the one you did for my daughter as well...my heart and spirit are most deeply touched and grateful.

My response: > Hi!
>
> Isn't that strange!? I wonder why "Mary" came in so strongly. It
> seems
> to me this is a sign that someone by that name is going to play a key
> role in your future. Especially since it is "she" who throws the rose.
> Very strange indeed. I can't recall that ever happening before. I'll
> have to go check and see if that happened in my notes as well...hang
> on...
>
> Yup...you are "Mary" all through the notes as well. So when I came
> back, that name was pushing through me loud and clear, eh? I didn't
> even notice it when I was proofreading it before sending it to you. I
> think it is great. Be on the lookout for a Mary!!! With a rose!!
> (shirt, glasses, etc). Amazing how the messages are presented!
>
> I look forward to your further comments. I have damn union training
> tomorrow despite the weather, so there may be a delay in my answers.
> What a life!! :)

4/17: Hi Ken,

Are you ready for this???...are you sitting?..
In spite of this awful flooding, my weakened finances, and somewhat ill
health at present, yesterday I received a phone message that I never
ever expected...I got a call from a "MARY" from The American Institute
of Holistic Health and Psychology. She told me I have a full
scholarship for a home school program, they are fully accredited, etc.
She went further to say that I was referred to them by a client or
friend of mine. I just checked out their site and was
quite pleased at what I read.
I put in a call to my counselor to see if it was her. (just curious as
can be now!) I also called Mary back but only got the school's
answering machine. I left a message for her.

I just had to tell you about this and see what you think. It [the “Mary” connection] gave my daughter the shivers!

Visiting the Dead

Visiting Dad

4/11/07: A Journey taken at the Request of a Client to visit with the Earth Soul of her Dad.

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself standing near a picnic Table next to a beautiful Lake. It was a wonderful, sunny Day, the Air delightful. Her Dad (hereafter referred to as just “Dad”) was sitting at one Corner of the Table, fashioning Objects out of Wood. In short Order, he produced a wooden Soldier (Civil War Era), a Nutcracker, and finally a mahogany Female Figure, posed as if she had just released a Bowling Ball. Dad then got up and motioned for me to follow him. We walked down into a sheltered Depression next to the Lake where there was a campground-type, cement and metal cooking Grille, already fired up. On it he cooked a recently caught Rainbow Trout, no doubt taken from the Lake. He then took a swig of a “local” Beer, but knew I do not drink now, so he did not offer me one. The then picked up a Rifle and shot at a Duck passing over. I tried to stop him, but he laughed vigorously and said, “Ducks and I are Partners in this! Watch!” He hit a passing Duck, who fell to the Water. The Duck then sat upright and yelled back, “Nice Shot!” If Ducks could smile, this one would have been. Dad slapped his Knee and again laughed aloud. He then turned to me and said, “By the way, it was nice of you to visit with my Son [I had done a Journey earlier to visit with my Client's Brother's Earth Soul]. That brought my Daughter great Comfort.” The Scene then shifted. I saw what looked like Dad working on an Engine of a Car leaning over the left Fender, the Hood up. He hit his Head coming up too fast. I then saw him on a Roller going under the Car. Dad then told me, “This is my twin Brother who never got to have an Earth Life, but he has nonetheless been allowed to live a full Life now.” The Scene then shifted again. We were walking along a wide dirt Roadway in some sun-splattered and yellow-green Woods. I saw a little Girl on a Bike which I assumed to be my Client, riding along for a few Seconds and then with her Dad and Mom. I then saw another Scene where Joanne was trying on one of her Dad’s Belts. It was way too big for her, and was hilarious as one End was hanging down like a Leash or Tail. Then, we were back at the Grille, and Dad told me that he visits my Client. “I make things fall at her Work, and move Stuff around in her Car.” The Scene shifted again and we were in a Living Room somewhere. Dad held up a large Painting of a snow Scene he had done (I got the Sense it was “by the Numbers”, though). I took a Picture of him holding it, and when I looked down at what I had captured, Dad showed up as an Owl! He then told me that he flies around Joanne from Time to Time as an Owl. The final Scene was of a Train heading into a Station, whereupon the Train looped around very quickly and rejoined the same Track heading in the opposite Direction. The Call Back then sounded.


4/20 Response:

Hi Ken,

I have read your visit several times today. I remember my father carving pencils out of wood for my brother & I while he was taking his lunch break. My mother, brother & I spent many weekends in the woods w/my father. He had his own logging truck & worked 6 to 7 days a week. We loved being outdoors w/him & had so much fun. It doesn’t surprise me you found him outside. Beer was his favorite drink, didn’t care for the hard liquor. He worked on cars & especially his logging truck. He took very good care of his vehicles.

I remember him buying my brother & I new bicycles from the most expensive bike shop in my town. Are friends were envious. We were so happy & I took very good care of my bike. My brother’s bike was stolen. He was so scared to tell my father.

I must say I have found stuff in my car moved around and blamed it on a Senior moment.
I often pick papers off the floor and my pens & pencils seem to be rolling off my desk many times during the day. Now, instead of thinking I’m having a bad day, I will have pleasant thoughts.

Does my brother, mother & father see each other? Do they live in the same area? How about other relatives that have passed on do they see each other? Now that I know they can move objects, can they make physical contact w/us? The other night I could not sleep, felt something on my knee & I knew that is wasn’t a bug.

Thank you so much for your journeys w/my family. It has brought me comfort & a sense of peace especially w/my brother. You have special gift. Thanks for sharing.

Take care,

Gilson Road Cemetery Spirits

12/01/06: A Journey taken with Permission to check on the Spirits long sensed and seen at the Gilson Road Cemetery in Nashua. Here is what happened the night my Friend and I visited there, about 3 prior:

“At Gilson Road Cemetery. I did not really feel there were any Spirits in the front section, where the Stones were. That area seemed really devoid of any energy, and if there are Spirits seen there, they are merely moving through. The place beyond the tall Pine, however, was rife with Action. I kept catching visual glimpses of a Fire there, and was able to further determine there is either a Spirit Bonfire or a Spirit Funeral Pyre there. Many Spirit People are gathered around that Fire, and some wander to the front of the Cemetery to cool off and then go back. Others wander the Field beyond, as you saw. The main impression I got is that they are waiting for something… As we drove off, I suddenly felt one of the Spirits was running/bounding after us a full tilt, and was keeping up with us even though we were at 35 MPH. I sent this Spirit back by promising to visit more fully in the future. At first I thought it was coming to attack us, but then realized it probably wanted to talk to me… “

I began my Journey in customary Fashion. I went straight over to the Graveyard and stood in the entry Area, where all Sorts of very old Headstones stand sporadically about. Eagle Claw, my Upper World Guide, was standing beside me. Utawa, my Mirror Spirit, was in the Mirror as I looked down at it. It was Night. I walked slowly over to the Tree Line, for this is where I had sensed the Action the other Night. As EC and I walked along, we noticed the Ground seemed to be missing…we were walking on empty, dark Space. We came to the Fire I had seen before. It was huge and roaring away. From behind to the left came a Figure looking a lot like artist Renditions of Sasquatch! He came up to me, and after picking me up to give me a gentle Hug, he put me back on my Feet and took me by the Hand out into the open Field beyond the Tree Line. We began walking back and forth across the Field together, and we were stepping between numerous dead Bodies, lying in various States of Decay. These are not visible in normal Vision. I saw Eagles and Vulture coming down to pick at the Bodies, and then Wolves, Foxes, and other Carnivores coming to do likewise. They all gathered together in a huge Group and stared back at me as I retreated with Sasquatch to the Fire. My Guest then explained to me that these Victims had never been properly buried and mourned. Little Bits had sunk into what became shallow, unmarked Graves. The Fire, he explained, was indeed intended to have been a funeral Pyre, as I had sensed the other Night. He told me the Spirits milling about the Fire and Field were waiting for their Loved Ones to come and get them, and to honor them. Feeling deeply for them, I took my Index Finger of my right Hand and traced out the dark blue Edge of a Doorway in the Air. I then turned back to Eagle Claw and asked, “Should I?” He answered, “Do what is right, Four Hawks.” So I finished bringing the Doorway into Existence. In the End it looked a lot like a Mine Entrance, framed out with rough –hewn Timber. Soon, several Spirits came through the Door and began uniting with the Spirits who had been waiting so long for them. They tended to them, caringly and lovingly. I was told that many of these Spirits will go back through the Tunnel to be with their Friends and Family. But a few will remain behind, because they have grown to like it here. Some will become Nature Spirits eventually, after they are done enjoying the Locale. One of those staying is the Spirit who stood behind Peter when his Picture was taken when the Latter was here before with other Friends. In that Shot, there is a Light over my Friend’s Head. I saw the Young Man, straight out of the 1700s. I was shown that this Spirit has a Sense of Humor: he was holding an old Railroad Lantern over my Friend for the Photo, showing a strong Sense of Humor. I had to chuckle at the Sight. Finally, through this cleansing Action, I was told the Effects at the Gilson Road Cemetery will become considerably less pronounced for the Now-Humans living nearby. I thanked my Spirits and returned.

My Friend's Response:

Hi Ken,
Wow. Your actions will take the attraction out of the area for sure. It has become a common place of visit for Para Normal groups - in fact, Jon, whom you did a journey for, is a member of one that made a visit to Gilson. I have to think that perhaps in some of their member's desire is to help those trapped there, and their prayers may have been the reason why the activity has been diminishing.

I never felt threatened while I was there. I thought it neat that my friend saw a "glow" around me and thought that nothing would happen.

It is your job to help others, right? Keeping Gilson as a local attraction doesn't do those in need any good.

Meeting a Sasquatch like being is interesting - I didn't tell you this: Local legend tells of a hairy being or large dragon like being, behind the cemetery that tends to protect visitors.

Again, you hit it right on the nail. While I will miss the mystic of sneaking around at night and looking at the lights in the field behind the cemetery, I am glad that one of them might still be around - and by his choice. This fits the story of a great Indian battle or battles. Local legend also describes that the area was a haunted site in the 1700s.

Well done Ken.

Interesting on the Indian Rock boy.
------------------------------------------

A Haunted House Read

2/24/06: A Journey taken at a Friend’s Suggestion to check out the Spirit lie of the land for a House he has visited in Kingston. He tells me light switches go on and off, things move, etc. We both thought it would be cool to see who is doing this.

As I entered the Spirit World, Eagle Claw brought me through the Forests and Street between here and Kingston. We got to the House, and immediately knew there was indeed and Indian Burial Ground here. We arrived in the Night, and saw many blue Figures moving all over the House, its Roof and the adjoining Yard. There are many Spirits here! We went to where the Burial Ground was and found a Stairway leading down to a Spirit Chamber co-existing with the Graves. There were many light blue Spirits sitting around a Fire. They asked me to sit in with them. One of them spoke. “We welcome you, 21st Century Shaman! You can tell the People living in the house that they don’t know it but are disrespecting us. We sometimes have Cars parked on our Burial Ground. Garbage is sometimes stored here. Once in a while Someone urinates. There is a Telephone Pole stuck into our Grounds. The Grounds run from the left front of the Barn out to underneath the Road. We would like them to honor this Sacred Place. Ask them to place a Reminder of it where People can see it. A big Boulder with a Medicine Wheel painted on would be fine. It would honor us, and tell others that they are on or near Sacred Ground. Plant a few large Bushes there so no-one will park. Ask them to visit us occasionally, telling us they honor our Memory, that they mean us no harm, and that they mean for us to rest well. We have Men and Women and Children buried here.” Then they told me there were more Spirits then them. “More,” I asked? “Yes!” And then I saw two Dark Beings, who were Brothers in Life. “They used to live in this House. They are the meddlesome ones, making the most Trouble. They will have to be removed, but this can only happen with the Permission of the Owners. These Brothers are angry that there are People living in their House. They know we are here, but we leave each other alone. Thank you, Four Hawks, for visiting.” And with that my Visit was over. Eagle Claw brought me back through the local Terrain to my Room. I thanked him and came back.

THE REPLY: my Friend tells me his friend who lives there verified what I had seen..to wit, they had a psychic come in and check the house out and she also had reported there were two brothers haunting it. Phil’s friend was astonished that I could see this without even visiting the house. I may get to cleanse these Beings out once the mother gets back from a trip.

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Visting my Deceased Dad

4/30/04: A most remarkably emotional Journey to the Lower World this morning, and unanticipated. I had earlier mentioned to my wife how our son’s refusal to hang with one of his friends because of excessive alcohol use reminded me of the time I had rejected my best friend at around his age for the same reason. She took this comment to launch a forceful explanation on how she is the only one who should take credit for our son’s actions, and that I little to do with any of the wise decisions he is now making. I was totally unprepared for this (even though I have seen it before), and it wounded my Aura, thereby reactivating an Imprint in my Luminous body which I soon thereafter recognized as having been with me for years. I have, since I can remember, always reacted with emotional resentment and anger when anything to do with my performance in any arena has been assaulted, questioned or undermined by anyone. And thinking of this incident this morning and my reaction to it, I knew I had to get to the source Wounding to finally rid myself of this constantly-triggering Imprint that has poisoning my Aura and Chakras over and over. And I had to do it NOW. So off I went, and I knew right away this would be a different Journey. After Smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I used the drum CD. I was not out back this time, but immediately carried into a wooded/flowered area, vibrant with color and pleasant aromas. It was gorgeous. Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide, emerged from a Tunnel entrance in front of me, for the first time wearing a Crown made of glistening Diamonds! Whoa!” I thought to myself, “something is up!” I met with Crosses and asked to be taken to the source Wounding that had left this deep Imprint in my Luminous Body. In fact, I humbled myself before Crosses, almost begging meekly on my knees, and in deep gratitude. Crosses led me down a very resplendent tunnel, lined with numerous, variously-colored Crystal Wands parallel to the floor as far as the eye could see. Down and down we went through this Wonder of Light. We emerged into a rather formless area, where my new Guide, Senses All, was waiting for me. Her eyes were like diamonds, and she likewise had a small crown. I told her I wished to be taken to the Source Wounding, and she took me by the hand and led me into a swirling mass. As we penetrated, Events from my Life went by me. Each was an example of how this Imprint had wounded me and caused anger and hurt. Back and back we went, past my teen years. We then came to a small room with a computer terminal in it(!), and Sense All showed me a long list of Imprint-inspired Chakra poisonings. She smiled and said she wanted me to feel more comfortable in a setting I’m used to in this life as I reviewed my history. :) As the list went further back into my early days, Senses All took me by the hand and led me back into the Swirl of Time. She took me back into the basement of my old house. I saw my Father working at his work bench. He was working on his car engine (he rebuilt it every winter when I was a baby). My mother had let me come down to be with him and walk around a bit (so I must have been two or so). I had picked up a small can of oil and was bringing it to him when it spilled. My Father was always quick to frustration and so yelled at me, telling me to leave things alone, not to help. I felt the Original Wounding occur. I ran and was crying. I now understood why as an older boy and young teenager I had such dread about going down those stairs into the cellar. Senses All then cornered me and told me that we were going to replay this incident, but this time, after the oil spill, I was to react differently. With love and forwardness. Therefore, after the spill, I ran to my Father’s legs and held them tight. I said I was sorry (at least in my mind), that I was only trying to help him. He picked me up, held me to his chest, and said it was OK. It felt SO good to hug him again, I burst into tears..right in the middle of my Journey (a first). I held him tighter and tighter, saying how good it was to be with him again, and how much I loved him. I asked him to forgive me for all the times in the future when I would refuse to help him happily because of this Original Wounding. I then told him I had to get back to my time, that I would be a much better Shaman for having come back to erase this Imprint. I held him so long, and told him I would see him again in the Spirit Camp, but it was wonderful to have held him again. I kept saying, “I love you!”, over and over, in fresh tears. Senses All then took me and said, we now will seal off the Imprint forever. She placed her hand over the Wounded area and the Imprint dissolved. She brought that part of my Luminous Body back to wholeness. I turned and looked at my Father one last time, tears welling once more. He had become a Luminous Body himself, no longer the physical Robe I was accustomed to. I turned with Senses All to begin the Journey back. I was very grateful to her, but a bit too overwrought to say so. But she knew, and I have thanked her since. She led me back to Crosses, who brought me back up the Tunnel to the grove. Crosses told me to sit a while amidst the Trees and drink in their Luminous Energy. As I did so, I became each Tree, and looked over to see myself sitting there. It was very soothing to sit in the Tree Life Forces. Crosses then led me back to my room where I grounded, eyes still wet.

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A Friend's Deceased Mom

5/8/05: A Journey to visit with a Mother, who died within the past two years, on Mother’s Day, on her Daughter's request. As is always the case with visiting the Deceased, I asked permission first. I opened Sacred Space, with my Rattle, lit the Sacred Candle and Smudged prior to this request. As usual, I then held the Crystal Pendulum well above the Candle and asked if it was allowed for me to visit with the Mom. I got a yes. What this means is that my visit with one of the 3 Soul Parts will not interfere with that part’s Spiritual Destiny. I was denied a visit with someone’s deceased Brother recently for that same reason. Therefore I was quite pleased for the Daughter's sake to get that yes. So I placed the Drum Loop on and was off. I had no idea which World we would be going into, so I waited. I very soon found myself on top of a medium-sized Hill, sunny and covered with Flowers and Plants. The Sky was deep blue and had white puffy Clouds floating by. The Breeze was warm and intoxicating. It was the most splendid of Spring scenes, like the perfect spring Day. And then a Queen Bee came by and flew around me a few times. She then stopped right in front of me, as if waiting for me to follow. As I stood and walked toward her, she led me on. Off in the distance I saw a Woman sitting alone. I looked to my right and my Lower World Guide, Crosses in Front, was slithering along through the Grass with me. High above me, my Upper World Guide, Owl, was flying along. But within a few seconds, I came abruptly to a very high Cliff edge. We just kept right on walking through the Air, with no tendency to fall whatsoever. I looked down and well below was a River. It was colored in many bright Hues, and even the Sunlight reflected back in colors. I realized we were over the River that separates this Life from the Life our Earth Souls take on after Death. So we were staying in the Middle World. This meant we would be visiting with Mom’s Suld, or Earth, Soul. We got to the other side and I approached the Woman, young and lovely, sitting on a Log. She had a small collection of Pussy Willows in front of her, and as I looked around I noticed we were in a grove of them. I went up to her and looked at the ground as I spoke, in humble Averting of the Eyes. She told me not to avert, but rather look up at the Sky, and in particular, the Sun. I did so, and noticed the Moon as a black Orb just off-center of the Sun. I could see both at the same time. Today was the New Moon, and so I was witnessing a sight we don’t see on this side of the River..the New Moon as a shiny, black Circle superimposed on the Sun. As I stared at the Sacred Combo, a golden heart formed in a rope of Mana, looking like a Christmas garland, around the two orbs. I then looked back at Mom. She handed me a pair of wooden Knitting Needles, the color of Oak, with two black Caps on each of the non-point ends. These were obviously a Gift to her Daughter. She then began to speak. She told me she was very happy as a soon-to-be Nature Spirit. She told me that when she finishes up being her Earth Soul, her Spirit Energy will go happily and gratefully into the Blue Heron Clan. I then asked her if she knew of the events surrounding her Children. She said yes, and kept referring to them as the Troubles. She said she visits occasionally, and has seen what is going on. She said she was sad that most of the Children were so focused on material gain. She wished they could see the Truth that lies behind the Façade of what they call Reality. She told me she was proudest of this Daughter, for she is closest to knowing the Truth about what is really Important. She told me she is the most Spiritually connected of all her children. She said she has been feisty and admirable all her Life, and she has enjoyed watching her progress in that combination of strength and gentleness that so well defines the well-adjusted Human Woman. She then told me something remarkable. She said that the day she passed, she merged quickly and for a short time with her Daughter. She left within her the Key to the Spirit World. She said it is still there, and when she finds it and opens that Door, the same Beauty and warm Breezes that I experienced at the start of this Journey will pour through that opened Door and sweep all her worries and cares away..and she will have lasting Peace. I then saw her handling an Amulet or Locket that was shaped as a Heart, but for some reason came on very strongly to me as being associated with or even made/filled with Apple. She then told me that she will visit her Daughter on occasion as a Blue Heron. At one point she will leave a Feather for her. It will be mainly grayish with blue fringe. It will be unmistakable, and the Daughter will immediately recognize it as the gift from her Mom. She then leaned forward and showed me her Necklace. It was a very thin chain, of Silver, and had a small, square Onyx as its charm. She then asked if she could merge with me for a few seconds. I said it was fine. I found myself back in my bedroom, feeling the Mom breathing in and out deeply. She said she found it so wonderful to feel that Air rushing in and out of lungs again. She told me her Daughter must do likewise, and gain that tremendous feeling of the Honor involved in being in her Body still. She then left my Body and we were both back at her site. I felt it was time to take my leave and go back across the River. Just as I was turning to leave, the Call Back sounded..so I had to beat feet back. I went from the Hill back to my Yard, and then came back into the Bedroom. I lay on the floor to ground myself fully. I thanked the Helpers and the Mom for the wonderful experience. Notes: The Bee is a reminder to extract the Honey of Life and to make our Lives fertile while the Sun shines. It reminds us that no matter how great the Dream there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue it. The Elixir of Life is as sweet as Honey, and we can drink of it if we just pursue our Dreams.

5/9/05: While out and about today, a Queen Bee came and stopped right in front of me, exactly as in this Journey. Here was the Spiritual manifested into the physical. I knew the Mom had sent this Bee, or was this Bee. And, I smiled broadly as I said hello.

I never knew there was a River of Spirit Energy separating the Souls here from the Earth Souls “there.” It is obviously easily crossed, but the Great Spirit has seen fit to separate the two existences..more to keep the Living here than to prevent the Passed Ones from coming here, though.

Blue Heron symbolizes the Great Spirit, among other things. It also symbolizes Aggressive Self-Determination and Self-Reliance.

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Why a Friend Committed Suicide

5/24/05: A Journey taken check on a former neighbor who left the World suddenly last week at age 43. I wanted to make sure he got away cleanly, and asked permission beforehand using the Crystal pendulum. Sacred Space was already open from a prior Journey today, so I went right in for a 15-minute Loop. As I concentrated on my Purpose, I saw thick, billowy and totally black Clouds forming. I saw my Neighbor lying retrained on his back, with a huge Centipede-like monster with lit Eyes and Mouth hovering menacingly over him, as if guarding its prey. Eagle Claw, my upper World Guide, in human versus Bared Owl form, came to me on my left and took me aside. We walked onto a Prairie setting and sat, and then Utawa, my Mirror Spirit, arrived. We all stood and looked down into the Mirror surface. I then saw my Neighbor as a young boy. I saw he used to take a series of wallops on his backside from his Dad. These were always stingingly hard, and came at the slightest provocation. My Neighbor took to hiding, in what looked like the Attic, where he would play with his Toys. At one point his Dad found him there and beat him there, too. A Spirit named Red Slow Hoe (a former farmer?) came to visit with my Neighbor when he was hiding. At first he came as a Play Companion, and gave my Neighbor’s Toys an added Magic, an Alive Quality. His Toys therefore took on a Special Life of their own, a Feeling that lasted with Scott for the rest of his Life. This is why he always was out seeking fun on his “Adult Toys” such as Motorcycles and Dirt Bikes. I saw that his Ami and Suns Souls constantly fled the Beatings, but always came back afterward...he was lucky there, for sometimes they don’t. However, over the years, Red Slow Hoe began to take over my Neighbor...and by the end of his Life, all 3 Souls, the Earth Soul included, had been displaced. It was Red Slow Hoe that took the Life of my Neighbor’s Body, not he himself. My Neighbor’s Earth Soul was now under the control of the Centipede. His Ami soul fled to an area between the orbits of Jupiter and Saturn. I saw it wandering about out there. His Suns Soul had fled to a Cave populated by an Armadillo family. At this point, my Helpers told me to take on the Centipede first. I went back into the Black Clouds and approached the Being with both Shaman Staff and Mirror. I firmly commanded the Being to release my Neighbor and go away. It was intent on resisting. My Staff, in my left Hand, now turned to Blue Energy, no doubt courtesy of Utawa, the Blue Shaman and Mirror Spirit. I lowered the Staff slowly toward the Centipede. The Staff shook formidably as I slowly lowered it. My Arm shook on the Bed as the Staff lowered. I worked against the Being’s staunch resistance, and eventually touched the Being’s Head. The Centipede then quickly dissolved into a mass of Rainbow Light and flowed away. The Black Clouds dispersed. My Neighbor got up and began to speak with me. We hugged. He expressed profound regret at what had just happened. He felt he must go now and help his Wife and Sons. I opened up Sacred Space over him and them. I told him he could guide and protect them, but not interfere in their Lives, for they must walk their Own Path. I then went to retrieve my Neighbor’s other two Souls. My Staff easily attracted the Suns Soul from the Cave. I took it to the World River and watched as it floated over the Waterfall’s top and down into the Lower World. I then went into Space and likewise attracted the Ami Soul with my Staff. This I flung into the World Tree, which looks as if studded with Diamonds, those being the Ami Souls of those awaiting their next Life. My Neighbor’s Earth Soul then came back to me to thank me very much for my intervention. I told him I will help him whenever he calls me in a Dream. I told hin I admired him very much and what he had done in his Life: a very successful business and family. He again expressed great Remorse at what had happened. I told him that had I known what was going on with him I might have been able to intervene to prevent his leaving so soon..but it all transpired according to his Sacred Path. The Call Back then sounded and I left my Neighbor to his new Work as I came back to the Room and thanked my Guides while grounding.

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Healing Journeys

Hi, Friends. Here is the first Stab at producing a theme-related Blog poosting,. this one to do with healing. There are five so far I have put in here...there are many more, some of which I will add soon. The first is quite long...

THREAT OF RENEWED CANCER REMOVED BY THE HELPERS AND SEEKER

(This series of emails tracks the initial contact right through when the doctor declares this episode, in which the lack of a tumor puts the lie to tests showing a cancer threat, a "fluke." M and I know better.)

INITIAL CONTACT:

6/9/06: Hello Four Hawks,
My Name is M and I am in The US.
I came across your Blog while trying to find
shamanic practitioners in my area and low and behold here
you are. I am contacting you because well, I need help. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer in Oct. and treated in Jan.
Recently the doctors have found cause for concern and I have to
go through some tests in July to make sure the cancer has not come back.
I am experiencing a lot of the symptoms that I did before treatment
and they are getting increasingly worse.
The reason that I have to wait till July for these tests is to make sure that
the Radioactive iodine from Jan. is completely out of my system for them to be accurate. Although thyroid cancer is usually very easy to treat, if its not being treated easily then that’s not good.
I really need to get at the cause of all of this, I need to understand and concur it.
And I need help.
I have been researching shamanism since my first encounter
with a shaman about a year ago. I had a healing done and a lot of beautiful
things were revealed to me. The process is something that I truly connect with.
So, if you are free and able to work with me I would be truly truly grateful!
My financial situation is not what it could be at the moment and I would not be able to repay you with a cash exchange at this time. On your site I know that you said that this would not be a problem but, I would need to repay you in some way. Hopefully we can work something out, that is if you can help me.
Hope to here from you soon.
Blessings to you and yours,

6/14: MY FIRST JOURNEY:

As I entered the Spirit World, I saw a little Girl eating Peanut Butter or something similar, straight from a Jar. She was really into it! I knew it was M as a Child. While she was standing there, a big, black Cloud formed nearby. I went over to check it out, and found that it had Lines of Blood running through it. Then, the Spirit of my Brass Mongolian Shaman Figurine (which in this World rests on my Chest when I Journey) came toward me. In each Hand he was lugging a square Block of Light. One was Sky Blue, the other Earth Green. He gave these to me, and when I put them down in front of me, they quickly shape-shifted into two round “Mirrors”, still blue and green, just large enough for my Feet to fit upon. I instinctively stepped onto the Mirrors and found myself being lifted up into the Cloud. Once inside, I was standing inside an old-fashioned, large House. It was Afternoon, but the Walls and Furnishings were thus that the House still had a dark Pall over it. The Surroundings also indicated the People here lived quite comfortably in Terms of Wealth. The House had a least two Stories, and I was very near a large Staircase. In the Hallway next to the Stairs and leading into what was probably the Kitchen/Dining Area, I suddenly saw a large Tombstone sticking out of the Floor. Instead of having a Name on it, it had the single Word, “Anger.” I then saw a Skirmish take Place at the Top of the Staircase. A drunken older Man suddenly pushed a little Girl down the Staircase, killing her. I watched as the Spirit of the Girl hopped out of her Body and ran up to begin beating on the Man with all her Might. She then placed a Curse on his future Offspring and theirs, on down the Line. I sensed that M was a Recipient of this Curse from the distant Past. I was suddenly brought back to the little Girl eating Peanut Butter, and saw that there is a small, donut-shaped Cloud circling M’s thyroid Gland. It is black and lined with Blood, just like the one I had just investigated. M has the Curse! I then asked if this Curse can be removed. I was shown that as a first Step toward Healing, M must procure (if she doesn’t have one already), a Turquoise and Coral Necklace. She must wear this for three consecutive Weeks, taking it off nightly to wash in cold Water. I know from prior Shamanic Experience that this Ritual will help remove most if not all of the Curse Energy. I was then shown that she must burn a Lavender Candle for a Total of four Hours to appease the Anger of the little Girl who was killed on the Stairway. The Scene then shifted several Times. First, I saw a funeral Procession moving slowly along on a very dark and gray day. The Box with the killed Girl’s Body in it was being taken to Burial among Mist and Drizzle in a Horse-drawn Wagon. Again I could see the Spirit of the Girl in total Anger, throwing Dirt and Sticks at the Procession. Then, I saw the Little Girl playing with a very friendly and compassionate Dog. This Scene must have been from when she was alive. Then I saw myself on the Veranda of a very well-appointed House. A black Woman on her 30s came over to me. She was pointing out a heavy-set Boy with reddish Hair and Glasses. She wanted me to listen as he went inside to play “Fur Elise”. I was then shown that to appease the angry Spirit, M should combine all these elements into a single Presentation on her Bureau: the Lavender Candle, a Replica or Picture of a Piano, also that of a Dog, also that of a young Boy with reddish Hair…and should play that Symphony while burning the Candle surrounded by the other Items. This should take care of the Destructive Energy surrounding her Thyroid. After that Energy is gone, any healing Treatments will be far more effective in removing any Damage done to date. The Journey was then complete.

NOTES: The blue and green Mirrors are significant in that they actually represent Father Sky and Mother Earth. It was by combining their Energies that I was allowed to witness the Source of M’s problem. This tells me M must likewise seek balance in her life between male and female energies.

Lavender is also very significant. It helps keep physical and emotional balance, helps deal with the frustrations of others in a stable manner (VERY key given how poorly but understandably the little girl dealt with her impulsive killing), and announces that karmic issues are at hand (that is, issues of destiny). Lavender was used by Solomon to clean sacred circles, as it activates an extremely high vibration that is impenetrable to lower thought forms and astral entities [my emphasis - the angry young girl Spirit]. Lavender relives stress, headaches, insomnia, pains, arthritis and depression. It restores physical and emotional balance. It activates Chakras that control mental clarity, awareness and alertness. It helps remove karmic blockages that hinder spiritual growth. It can allow you to see directly Spirit Beings. It draws love and protection, and reminds us to maintain emotional balance. Now is the time to deal with issues objectively. Maintain your stability, even if those around do not. The issues at hand are probably karmic, and so it is best to deal with them now.

Finally, Shamans use Candles to call in the Center of All Time and Space. The Flame is where all is possible and all exists…so to have it lit over Lavender will make it very powerful in appeasing the Spirit of Anger.”

6/18: M's REPLY:

So, one of the first things that jumped out at me and I just had to laugh was my child eating peanut butter. I have been eating peanut butter non-stop for like a month now. And actually in the healing that I mentioned in my first letter the spirits signaled me by making reference to the apple binge that I was on. This is possibly because in the last few years I have become more conscious of the way I eat.
As far as your Brass Mongolian Shaman Figurine bringing to you the blocks of green and blue light, I was just the other day thinking about those very same colors and there presence in my life. How they make me feel in a way that is beyond words (psychically, I guess), emotionally, where in my body ,ect... I noticed that while I have always had an affinity for blue, it's "airy" and clear texture and quality, I have an unconscious urge to surround myself with the color green, my bedroom, my clothes, and the little things all around.
I have been aware and picking up on the messages to balance my male and female energies for some time now and I've got to say that this seems to be somewhat of a difficult task for me. Just when I think that I've got a grasp on what exactly that means the concept totally eludes me. Maybe it's not an intellectual pursuit, maybe I am making it more difficult then it needs to be, maybe it is the influence of a patriarchal society which makes it difficult for me to balance those tipped scales.
Honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of what you saw with the little girl. I was certainly surprised at the revelation. It is probably the last thing that I would have imagined that you would have found. You said that I am to get a turquoise and coral necklace. The very same day that you made this journey, I was reading a book and it mentioned that turquoise and coral were common combinations in Native American jewelry. I never really knew that and for some reason it jumped out at me.
A couple of weeks ago I asked the spirits to lead me to the necklace that I was supposed to be wearing, I knew instinctively a necklace would help, I just didn't know what kind. After reading your message I searched on-line and found it on e-bay for a price that I could afford. Question: At night when I take it off to wash it, am I to put it right back on or wait till morning?
Also the day that you made the journey I was cleaning and I had the urge to completely rearrange my alter, my alter that I keep on my bureau. I found a small lavender candle that I had bought a while back. And I became some what fixated on the alter and I felt that something needed to be done. I took out a deck of tarot type cards and I drew a card that said "make music". I had no idea what it meant but, I figured I would find out, so put it on my alter. I have gotten I recording of "Fur Elise" and as soon as I find the pictures needed I will go through the ritual prescribed. Questions: am I to only play the song once and just let the candle burn for 4 hours? Have you any idea who this redheaded boy was? Is there any certain type of dog that I should look for in a picture?
You said that this ritual would appease the spirit of the dead girl. Could you explain to me a little more what that means? Is she somehow "released" or is it somewhat like soul retrieval for her? In that, something will be returned to her so that she can become whole and move on? Or is it more like, through me repaying the karmic debt of my ancestor things are in balance again? Where is she? Is it her entire spirit that is there or just a piece or an imprint? Do you continue to help her? Is this curse going to continue to effect others in my family???
Hope that I'm not asking too many questions...

6/21: LATER ON, M WROTE:

You are certainly right about it taking time to absorb all of the metaphors!
I am allowing all of these messages to integrate and watching them develop.
I have gathered all that I need for the candle ritual and I began yesterday.
For what ever reason, I felt guided to play the song twice at the beginning and
twice at the end of the candle burning. Yesterday just after the ritual I was sitting down on the coach and their was a TIME magazine sitting right in front of me. Almost unconsciously I reached for the magazine and started thumbing through and I open up to an ad with one whole full page of just a piano. I gave a little smile, but didn't think too much of it. Then I went out to run errands, I went to this one store that I always go to. As long as I have been going there I have never seen this man working there but, the man that waited on me had red hair and glasses! He had a young boyish face but a steady, gentle demeanor, he was very friendly and it seemed that something about him was begging for my attention. Being somewhat slow to catch on at times it didn't hit me completely until I got in my car and I remembered seeing the piano in the magazine...and then the light went on. Since then it seems everywhere I go there is a red head somewhere in the vicinity.
So, there have been many connections and synchronicities outwardly as well as inwardly. This I hope and believe a is a sign that things are changing, moving, healing... or beginning to anyway.
I have not received the necklace yet but, any day now.
Thank You! for the tip about the color green. I have actually read that about cancer and the color green years ago but, you hear so many different things and what has always stuck with me is green as a healing color. But thanks for reinforcing that idea, it does make sense doesn’t it? Although, I am noticing the color everywhere I go and today I was at my therapists and I saw her aura loud and clear as a vibrant green color. I don't see auras all of the time and usually not that vibrantly, so I assume that this has some reason. Or maybe I just picked up on it because I'm thinking of it now? I stopped wearing green and I will try to shift my attention to one of the other colors that you had mention would be good.
I will be very curious to see who my power animal is. In the 1st healing I had Lion was brought back for me and I know that I have a strong connection to Raven, I have for a long time even before I knew anything of power animals. It is my understanding that we have one or a few steady animal spirits that are with us throughout our lifetime and then others who come and go and are with us until we no longer need them. Is this so?
I am so excited to have your help and the help of the spirits. It has given me hope that all of this can be sorted out (in what ever way that is). I'm still scared at times but for the first time in a while I feel like I can let go and without expectations, allow things to be what and how they are and no matter what things will be O.K...so I guess that the healing has begun.
Let the chain of anger end here.
Blessings to you,

7/2: LATER M WROTE: Well, trying to stay centered...Trying to stay centered because that's the way through, now isn't it.I've been feeling a little anxious with my tests coming up ... I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm on what they call a "suppressive" dose of hormones. They use this dosage for the next 5 years to stop any, if there is any, thyroid tissue from growing. The dose makes me hyperthyroid.i think that by nature I am such a laid back and quiet person that I really have to work atreleasing anxiety and tension by finding different outlets. While as some others might be able to release it by just being "hyper" or amping up there outer energy.I try to exercise as much as possible and I've been working on different art pieces. I've actually been working on a collage, the left side is all images that represent the feminine andthe right images of the masculine and in the center they sort of blend into one another.It's definitely helping me to focus on the balance of male/female in my life.I can feel it working.When I mentioned that I was having trouble grasping these concepts, what you said about it was so simple, but for what ever reason, it really helped me to get it.

(7/5)THEN M EXPLAINS AN EARLIER MESSAGE TO ME : As far as the flashing lights, it has always been at the foot of the stairs that I have
seen them. They are white and green and rather large and close to my body. I am curious to see what you would be able to find out. That would be great! Thanks.

I will definitely burn some incense as an offering right away, in fact as soon as I'm done here. I have some lotus incense that I can use. I wanted to ask you what I should do with the unburned portion of the lavender candle? and as far as the pictures of the boy, dog, and piano putting them in the recycling bin should be good, right?

7/11 FOUR HAWKS WRITE BACK: Hi, M. Oh the tides of time. I performed a second Journey on you last night to make sure the broken necklace was not a problem. It isn’t, but there were so other good lessons in there for you, mainly to seek total balance. Although all things have difference and can even be at extremes from one another, the Shaman view of life is that all things come from Great Spirit, and are therefore Sacred and made of the same Spirit Stuff. This applies as well to health and illness. Also, it is important for you to temper your male side down a bit…that is, make your analytical and reasoning skills more like a young boy’s than an older man’s. I’ll try to get both of these to you today or tomorrow, but my time is so thin right now!

(7/11) TWO ADDITONAL JOURNEYS FOR M: Hi, M. Here are the two Journeys I promised you…I did some explaining, but you may have more to offer..

JOURNEY #1

7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on some lights she has been seeing when heading up her Staircase at Home. These are small Balls of Light, indicating in her Peripheral Vision. I initially told her I see these also, for they are little Glimpses of the Soul Parts that run up and down the Axis of the Human Energy Field through the Chakras. I felt there was no need to go further, until she told me she was now seeing white AND green Orbs. This changed my Approach, and hence this Journey to determine what is up.

As I entered the Spirit World, I found myself at a Picnic Table. My Protectors, Two Feathers and Gray Wolf, were there, as well as my Mirror Spirit, Utawa. They were all eating fresh Corn off the Cob. I then saw my Upper World Guide, Eagle Claw, heading toward us with a large Apron full of more Corn! An Abundance if ever I saw one! So I sat and began eating, too. Then, in the Center of the Table, I saw a green and white Box form. The Colors were swirling and morphing around the Box, and evermore so with Time. As I kept on eating my Corn, the Scene shifted. Now there were two, tall Towers of Energy, one Green and one White. Faces formed at the Top of each Column…and they were identical. Suddenly I and the two Light Beings dropped through the Ground into a Forest. There was a Dirt Path there, which I began walking along. I soon came to a Clearing with a large Fountain of Light. The two Light Beings knelt at the Fountain. Two additional Colors now formed over the Fountain, blue and yellow. All four Beings, aside from there Color, now looked alike. They all got together and began to circle the Fountain at ever-higher Speed. Soon, there was a white/blue Ring of Energy surrounding the Fountain, made up of these four Beings. They had merged. I caught this Energy with my Mirror. I then watched as the Scene shifted back to the Picnic Table. My Guides there told me that this all meant that M’s Soul is trying to fragment, thereby pulling her in all different Directions, in all Ways. I was told she needs to reunify her Energies. To do this, they gave me another Candle Exercise for M. This is very important, for Fire is the Center of Existence, and any Ceremony with it included is therefore very powerful. M is to find four Candles: blue, white, yellow and green. She is to burn them together, and if possible (without setting her House on Fire) get the Energies to merge, at least for a short Time. The Call Back then sounded and I returned to the Room. As I lay there coming back, a brief Scene displayed in which I saw a Doctor, seemingly acting in a positive Manner…but I have no other details.

NOTES:

CORN: It is time to merge the sacred with the mundane; new life and abundance. Corn reminds us to be practical and pragmatic while still holding onto our dreams. It also reminds us to be grateful for what we are and have.

GREEN reflects calming, balancing, growth. It increases compassion. It soothes the nervous system. Green awakens friendliness, hope, faith and peace. It stimulates growth. It cancels out red’s effects. Never use green around cancerous growths, though (unless so directed by Spirit Helpers, of course).

BLUE means relaxation, antiseptic, cooling. It awakens intuition and eases loneliness. It awakens artistic expression and creativity, and is very effective when mixed with the warm colors. Orange represents joy, wisdom and creativity It stimulates feelings of socialness. It is tied to our emotional health and the muscular system.

WHITE This symbolizes great Spirit Power of very high order. White light can be used to wash the Aura and Spirit clean through both physical and imaginational use. “

JOURNEY NUMBER 2:

“7/7/06: A Journey taken at M’s Request to check on the breaking of her Coral and Turquoise Healing Necklace. She was concerned this would have a detrimental effect on her Healing, and although I felt it would not, I decided I would make sure. A very interesting Journey ensued:

As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace. I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1. I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it. I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M--- also.” I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. lITTLE M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…). Suddenly LITTLE M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, LITTLE M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire. Soon, it became a Forest on Fire. We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her. I then saw a heavy, older Man walking out of M and turn into a young Boy. Then, M disappeared. We were then back at the Castle. We walked by it instead of into it. I could still here the Toad running around within. LITTLE M, Utawa and I then headed out for the transit Log. Suddenly, I caught a Spear, similar to the one that had almost killed me the first Time I was in this Castle, with my right Hand, without even looking behind to see it coming. This showed I had conquered this Place and its occasional Illness Spirits. We crossed back to where we started, and found numerous, gorgeous purple Flowers. Then, there were yellows. Finally, red-orange Colors. This looked as if we were walking Top to Bottom through an Aura. The final Glimpse I had was that these Flowers were in a prestigious College-like Setting. The Call Back then sounded.

NOTES: This seems to show that M will conquer whatever symptoms result from the initial Invasion. She chooses to Balance the “Black” and White” versus choosing one over the other (and this is a decidedly Shamanic Stance), and this theme of Balance repeats itself often in the Journey. She balances herself over the Lake (emotions, femininity) to behold the world in joy again. The transformation of old man to boy shows she must use her left-brain, male side in a childlike manner…analysis for learning and fun, not for serious business.

TIGER: The Tiger represents Passion, Power, Devotion and Sensuality.

ELEPHANT: It represents Ancient Power, Strength and Royalty. It is a symbol of royalty and fertility. The Hindu God of wisdom and success is depicted with an elephant’s head. The elephant was usually the royal mount. It was the warrior God and the God of the monsoons in India. Elephants have good memories..of others who have cased it harm! They embody strength, especially power of the libido. They are also seen as symbols of great sexual power.

Elephants are also linked to clouds because of their size. Clouds are made of mist, and represent the transition between the formed and unformed (rain and unseen moisture). This links again to the ocean/land interface, and suggest a state of continuing metamorphosis.

The trunk gives the elephant a great sense of smell. This means you should be paying attention to things and situations that “don’t smell right.” You need to be very discriminating. This also suggests you should look into aromatherapy for healing and calming. The trunk is used for many things..eating, watering, etc. This reflects your need and ability to open to energies and worlds otherwise inaccessible. The tusks are used for digging edible roots. This again suggests a need to concentrate on plants and roots..those things grown in the Earth, as seen in the prior Spirit Health Journey.

Elephants group separately in female and male, except for mating. In both, sub-groups involve the young, the adult and the wise old one. Elephants also show great affection and loyalty to each other, and mutually help the old, the weak/sick and the young.,.and each other They exhibit powerful societal and family ideals. Again, like the monkey, you are called to become more social and aware..helping those in need no matter what their station, age or gender. You can draw on ancestral wisdom and power, and reclaim your primordial royalty!

FIRE: represents the Gol, the Mongolian Name for the Center of all being, of one’s own being; the jump-off point for Journeying to all places and Times. Its represents the Energy of Change and Transformation to the new from the destruction of the old. There are Pine Cones, for example, that will not release their Seeds until they are heated to a temperature that only a raging Fire can produce. Once the Fire is gone, these seeds take root to produce the next generation of Trees. “

See whatcha think!

(7/16) M'S RESPONSE TO THE NEW JOURNEYS: O.k. so here goes...there was so much in these wonderful journeys that it feels a little overwhelming to try to respond..

In the first Journey the mention of corn definitely stuck out. I made this pasta salad with corn in it and every time that I ate it these past couple days or so I would comment on how it needed more corn. And also, on the day that my Father went into Boston with me we were talking about food and his eating more healthfully and he said that corn had no nutritional value. This struck me as odd and I said " It's corn, it's got to have something to it". I just couldn't except that . So, I looked it up and I found that it does have nutritional value, not as much as some other vegetables, but it definitely did have some (protein, fiber, vit A, C, and B1 and B5, also phytonutrients which prevent cancer) and it is also beneficial for what it doesn't have or has little of (cholesterol, sodium).

Then, the explanation that you gave for the meaning of corn matches exactly with the explanation of turquoise and coral that I had read in the book that I had mentioned when you had preformed the first Journey. It said "turquoise represents spirituality (it's health, well-being, within an individual) and coral represents the "life" of spirituality" and together they bring about the grounding of the spiritual in everyday life. This, I know is Huge for me.

That my soul is trying to fragment was something that took me by surprise at first (Is this something that shamans come across often? Have you ever seen this before? why would this happen?) But, now that I think of it, it makes perfect sense. That is exactly how I feel. Very scattered, not able to draw my energy together, and hesitant and unsure of which direction to move in because there are so many things that I could do or see or be.

I preformed the candle ritual today. (Is it common for you to give tasks with candles when working with people?) When I first lit them I laid down to meditate and there was a bird outside in my back yard squawking insistently. There are ALWAYS birds in the back yard, we have bird feeders all over. But this bird felt like it wanted my attention so I sat up and looked out the window. It was a blue jay. As soon as I looked out he stopped his call and went about his business.
before I began the ritual I had to decide between two blue candles (one light, the other dark) . I felt like I should use the light one. When I saw the blue jay, who was the exact shade of blue as the candle I used I was confident that it was the right one.
After the ritual I looked up Blue Jay in Animal Speak and it said that Blue Jay stood for "proper use of power". It said that "it has the ability to link the heavens and the earth", this of course parallels the message you received in the 1st Journey that you performed for me. Also, there is mention of scattered energy and being a "dabbler". I completely identify with this and have been thinking a lot about it lately.
Also, as I was meditating I saw many things but, I kept seeing the image of a crown repeatedly. In the description of the Jay there is mention of the crest as a crown and also mention of royalty. In the other Journey you saw the flying Elephant which also stands for royalty (among other things). I am taking this to mean a coming into one's own power. Is that also how you see it? Am I missing any of the meaning behind this or do you have any insight that might help me to grasp this better?

When I preformed the ritual the blue candle burned twice as quickly as the rest (they were all the same candle different colors). So blue went out first, then white, then yellow, and then green. At the end I was left with a puddle of mostly green candle wax and blue (no trace of white or yellow).

7/17 LATER ON, M ADDS: I was reading a book today called "Legacy of Luna" by Julia Butterfly Hill. ( she is this amazing heroic woman who lived up in a Redwood tree for over 2 years! to bring attention to saving the old growth forests). And well, the short passage that I read today was about this really terrible storm that she had to survive up at the top of this 180 ft tree on a 5' by 7' plank covered only by a piece of blue tarp. At this point she had been up there for almost 100 days and she was feeling really worn down and scared and overwhelmed at the thought of having to bear the brunt of this storm. At first she was really scared and she latched on to one of the tree's branches and clung with every inch of her might, fighting against the wind. Then she heard Luna (the tree) speak to her and she said "Think of the trees in the storm. Learn the power of the trees. Let it flow. Let it go. That is the way you are going to make it through the storm. And that is that way you will make it through the storms of life." Of course she does just this, and with the passing of the storm a peace that could not be felt fully without going through the storm comes to her, and she is transformed.
I'm not sure if you can relate any of this to what you are going through right now. But, I really felt like I should send it along and I figured if it helps then, beautiful! if it doesn't then nothing lost. But, I really hope it does.

(7/20) M UPDATES HER CONDITION: Sorry that it has taken a while to get back. I heard from the Dr. yesterday. The official word is not in yet. My iodine scan came back negative, which would be great except that my PET scan did not. My thyroglobulin levels are elevated and she says that it is in all likelihood positive.
My doctor is supposed to call me tomorrow with their official determination. So...I am trying to remain calm and centered but, in all truthfulness that is probably the last thing that I am. Such a strange feeling, I feel everything at once, or maybe it is just moving so quickly from one spectrum to the other that the lines are blurred. All is one. The light is dark and the dark light. Everything seems very surreal, like being in a car accident...how it happens in a split second yet feels like slow-mo. Everything feels so quiet and still, eerie. which makes me feel completely present, yet not....the eye of the storm.
I have faith though...although it seems to be on the outer orbits of my existence, some where circling in this frenzy. I can sense it. It's there.
Just need to let go and realize that gravity is holding me...I won't be hurled out into space to tumble endlessly further and further out. I've got to Trust...
and I will, I mean, I do. Deeply, It's just removed at the moment.
So, needless to say I will have to get back about the 2nd journey. Focusing is not really in the cards at the moment.

7/21 ANOTHER UPDATE FROM M: I did hear back from my Dr. today and the feedback that she had for me today was so much more positive than what she had said on Wednesday. That is, they have not deemed the test positive, or negative. Yes, if it had been determined positive this would mean that there would be another tumor. (actually 2 in this case, as there are 2 spots lighting up). There would have been a huge difference in this diagnosis from in the last tumor though. The treatment that is typically used to treat thyroid cancer is radioactive iodine, and this is usually very effective as a treatment because it completely destroys thyroid tissue (and only thyroid tissue). But if a thyroid cancer is not taking up iodine, (as in the negative iodine scan might suggest) this effective treatment is rendered obsolete. Other treatments (chemo and radiation) can be used but are often, but not always, unsuccessful.
There is also the fact that my thyroglobulin levels are elevated. Thyroglobulin is usually used after RAI (Radioactive Iodine) treatment to track any reoccurrence of tumor. But, a very small percentage of people produce antibodies, which can cause interference with the thy-glob levels. I happen to be one of those people. So, basically what this means is that while these elevated levels are suspicious, they can not be relied upon.
The next steps are to retest these levels at a few different labs, including one in CA that specializes in these tests, and see if there are any differences in the #'s. If there are then it can most likely be concluded that these have no bearing on what these small spots are.
Also I have to go in for an MRI so that they can compare scans.

(7/7) M'S RESPONSE TO JOURNEY 2:

A Journey taken at M’s Request to check the breaking of her Coral and Turquoise Healing Necklace. She was concerned this would have a detrimental effect on her Healing, and although I felt it would not, I decided I would make sure. A very interesting Journey ensued:

As I entered the Spirit World, I found that the little Girl who had died in the first Journey for M was the little “Imp” who had playfully unhooked the Necklace.

- The day that I ended up reading this I woke up in the morning and the necklace was hanging around my neck with just the clasp undone. It did end up breaking a few times more before the 3 weeks were up but, I was able to fix it.

I asked and sensed that the Spirit who had initially invaded M has been appeased by her earlier Ritual with Candles, etc., as tasked in Journey 1.

- The reason I had asked about the candle rituals and whether or not it was common for you to give these tasks was because a couple of months ago I started gathering different color candles a little at a time and got a candle spell book. I never actually preformed any spells or rituals though, until the first one the spirit gave.

I asked the little Girl, “Why did you do that? You are scaring M who is trying to heal from an Invasion of Dark Energy. Let’s go for a Walk.” So I took her by the Hand to lead her away from M and we soon found ourselves walking along the top Ledge of an incredible high Wall. The Ledge was hardly 6 inches wide, and it was an extraordinary Feat of Balance that we did not teeter off in either Direction. Suddenly, ahead of us, we saw a threatening Tiger, who appeared lit from within, signaling he was a Spirit Being. As he made for us, we walked bravely on and he passed right through us. I remember telling the little Girl is was an “Impression, not Reality.” Then, we saw a huge flying Elephant heading down to us from above. By now the top of the Wall had shape-shifted into a Log, and so balancing was even more perfect. The Trunk swung right through us, and I said to the Girl, “Same thing!” We then stepped off the log and walked along a short rocky Area. Ahead was a Place I had been to before when trying to help a person who was dying of Cancer. I went into this Place back then to try to stop the Disease, and was barely able to get out alive myself. So for Lack of a better term, let’s call this Place the “Castle of Dying.” I told the Girl, “I’ve been here before…” She answered, “So have I! Briefly, after I fell down the Stairs…I ran out, it was so dark and scary in there!” I went right up to the Building and peeked into the Window before me. Right next to it, to my left, I suddenly saw a Face and nothing more outlined in Light. I knew by its Look it was an Adversary, so I grabbed my Mirror and went to hold it up against this Being. Simultaneously, it grabbed my Arm, and were suddenly locked in a Stand-off, neither side advancing. Suddenly, my Upper World Guide came in from the Right, charging the Being. This distracted it, and then my Mirror Spirit Utawa popped out of the Mirror itself and began oppressing the Being. “Sorry, Utawa,” it said as it fled. The three of us then walked around the nearly pitch-black Rooms. There was just enough Light on a Wall I was approaching to see a small brass nameplate with “M---” on it.

- This image of the name plate and also of the tombstone that you saw in the house from the first journey that said "Anger" brought to mind an experience that I had a little after my meeting with the other shaman woman who had journeyed on my behalf. I went to this spot in the cemetery where I and a group of friends used to go quite often. The first time that I was shown this place was the first day of a huge end and beginning for me and I felt called to go there. A crow came and landed in the tree near me and was cawing at me. So I spoke to it and said "show me what I need to know". I followed it across the cemetery until it stopped in a tree and started again to caw at me. I stood there for a sec. then went over to a wall directly underneath the crow but I wasn't understanding so I walked away a little bit and looked back. The headstone that I had been standing next to directly under the crow said MY last name. And it struck me right away, went right through me. At first I felt a little uneasy but I interpreted it to mean the death of my old life and the birth of a new. And I think that this is all connected.

I began fretting that this might mean that M was doomed to come here, when the little Girl came up and said, “Oh, that was my name Plate. I’m a M also.”

- That the little girl and I have the same name means so much! I can draw so many parallels of the little girl's experience to my own life. Metaphorically of course.

I could see now the Plate was older and dirty. M then began running around the Rooms as if it were broad Daylight (so much for “dark and scary” now…)

- WOW! Yay! I was wondering if you could say about how old little M was.

Suddenly Little M chased a large, lit Toad out of a Rom and the two went running by us, Little M laughing in Joy. I turned to Utawa when they had left and all was dark and quiet and said, “It really IS peaceful in here, isn’t it?!” Utawa replied, “It’s a big Difference from the last Time you were in here,” smiling. I then saw that in the Room just over to our right now had Flames in it. We went in to find all in the Room on Fire.

- When I was younger, about 15 or so, I had a fire in my room. I had lit a candle and fallen asleep. Some woke me. I didn't see or here anyone but I sensed a presence wake me. The room was so thick with smoke that I couldn't even find my own door. I had to feel along the wall and afterward you could see my black hand prints all along the wall. Maybe this is connected? Maybe I came closer to death in that moment then I even realized.

Soon, it became a Forest on Fire.

- This reminds me of when I was little... I used to imagine that on the other side of my door was a magical forest. I used to draw pictures of it. I really wondering if this room of fire may have been my room as a kid in the spirit world...Oh wow, an image of "Sarah" from the "Labyrinth", when she finds the place in the Labyrinth that looks like her room (remember?) just came over me.
We followed the Burn right to the Edge of a Lake. Out over the Water, I saw grown M kneeling, praying fervently. Two Beings of Light were on either Side of her. One was Black, the other White. “She must choose one or the other, OR balance them,” said Utawa. I watched as she merged the two Beings into herself. Having balanced these Beings, M’s Aura became normal. I then saw her Face staring out at the surrounding Universe, laid out in Splendor before her, and she had a Look of joyful Awe about her.

- Ken, I believe that this is what has come to fruition in these past couple of days. The way I see it I grew up with patterns of emotional repression (My Father) and deep denial (My Mother). My Mother has never asked me anything about the cancer and leaves the room every time I try to talk about it. Anyway, I eventually developed (because of all of my bottled up emotions) a denial of anything that could be considered "dark" about myself. I