Journey 25 - Wife's PA is Hummingbird

I was going to go back in time on this Journey to visit with the REAL Jesus and see what he was really all about, but as I walked toward the ground opening to begin, both Two Feathers and Crosses in Front met me immediately and shook their heads “no.” It was not my time to make this trip and I was fairly vigorously requested to abandon the intent, so I did. I instead, then, walked with Two Feathers into the woods behind our house and basically told her we would just spend time together and see what might come. As we walked, the woods turned translucent, very shimmer-like and surreal, very alive with beautiful green energy and light. We came to a small fire made of mana, golden with Spirit Medicine, and sat beside it. Suddenly, the Little Girl from the morning Journey joined us. I was surprised to see her. She handed me a small Stone Person embedded with all sorts of tiny Crystals that shone like a Rainbow in sum. I held this Stone tightly, and realized it was the essence of my wife’s female child-ness. As I held it, I went back into her youth on her birth street, and sensed a feeling of abandonment and lack of respect from others..a lack of self-esteem. It was remarkable to me how much like myself she felt as a youngster. I had much the same feelings. I sensed her missing her parent’s presence..they were too busy for her, so she had to put up with the shenanigans of her brothers, unprotected. Much like me. When she moved away, she totally lost her little girl as she was forced into working the her parents'business every day and dealing with her mother’s business-like attitude toward her. I asked the Little Girl at the Fire how we could get her back into my wife, which seemed necessary for her to heal. She sent me into a Tunnel, where I encountered several animals, no one whom seemed friendly toward the task. I saw a Tiger, Bear and Armadillo..all of whom had indifferent poses. I also saw a black shape of a being that I diminished using my Power Chant and Starlight Rainbow Ceremony..so that should help her right off the bat. Then a small Hummingbird came up to me, and I knew this was my wife’s helper. I must get her a Hummingbird broach or singing CD. She needs Hummingbird Medicine. Also, in my mind’s eye, the image of a Shark appeared, long enough for me to realize she should be taking Shark Cartilage. We then went into a room which was representative of her TMJ joint. The Little Girl was in there, and went to a doll on a shelf that had a very human face that transformed itself into my daughter’s face! That is very significant, for not only is the little girl now back into that part of my wife’s spirit..but obviously my daughter has a role to play in this as well. I flooded the area with rainbow light to begin the healing process. I then hugged (in the way Spirits hug..a merge on energy more than anything) and thanked Two Feathers, and drummed back. As I did so, I filled myself with the Sacred Fire Medicine of Mother Earth’s core to heal and strengthen myself. When I came all the way back, I was totally rested and could feel my heartbeat through my fingertips on my drum..strong and regular. I was grounded and rested this time, and came up to type this immediately so I would not fall behind in my Journal.

Journey 24 - TMJ Cure/Soul Piece

12/11: Journey 1: I lit Sage, Sweet Grass and my Candle, then breathed the Shaman’s preparatory breath for four minutes. My goal was to find out how I might help my wife cure her TMJ. I decided that since Hawk had flown right over me this morning, I would rise Hawk to the place where the knowledge I would need would reside. So I lay in bed, with Two Feathers and Gray Wolf beside me, and found myself watching as Hawk circled over our house and then landed on the roof above me. I found myself floating straight up through the cloth ceiling, past the floor joists, through my son’s room, and through the attic, onto the roof. Hawk had me climb on his back and up we went. Soon the sky turned dark and we were flying toward Grandmother Moon as she appeared a few nights ago, with the Cloud Person perfect smile on her face and the Mist of Light Dress shining down below her. I went soaring right into her face, and was then seated at a table with the Moon Spirit herself. She was dressed in a soft blue Robe of Light, exactly the same color as moonlight on a snow field. Her eyes were not human eyes, but were orbs with small specks of light in them. She sat with me a few seconds, and then guided me to inspect my wife's jaw. I could see the bones disconnected, and there seemed to be little black insects crawling over them. I knew these to be the negative energy in her system causing the disruption. We then left this scene, and the Journey became a bit more fragmented. I saw my wife showering and letting the water pour on her face’s right side, as if washing away the impurity, so I must tell her to do that exercise every morning. The water could also symbolize washing with healthy emotions..mana also. Then, the most telling of the images came along. My wife was lying on her back, apparently asleep. She was not in our room, but in the corner of some sort of cabin with an elevated bed, almost like a bunk bed..quite high off the ground and yet not on a second tier. Hard to explain. On the floor beside the bed was standing a small girl, who was talking to her silently. I did not hear her speak, but did see her mouth moving and was sure she was talking to my wife, who was unaware. I KNEW, though, that this little girl was key to the problem, as I have never scene something like this in Journey before. I believe she was the Little Girl Spirit that my wife lost at a young age. I got the impression that she had been forced out of her at a young age and has been trying to speak to her ever since. It was an honor to see this..very powerful and poignant as well. This must be the core of the problem. At this point, I came back. I did not really ground myself well before taking a nap, so I was quite unearthly when I got up to go have lunch with my mother. But I grounded as I drove along.

Journey 23 - Hawk Language

11/21: Based on my Dream of a few nights back, in which a golden Hawk flew right at me and turned his head to look at me as he passed within several feet of my head, followed by a sighting of a real Hawk the next day, also with golden wings, followed by taking the 17th Medicine Card in honor of the number 17, the number of Dreams and Interpretations thereof, which was the Hawk Card, I took a small Journey this morning to discover the meaning of the Hawk Dream. I asked Two Feathers and Gray Wolf, my Guardians, to stand with me as I drummed in my smudged room and waited for a Guide to the Upper World. Two Feathers hugged me, and as she did, all of reality ceased. Instead we were embracing in a white mist, very fine but not wet..a mist of energy particles. I sensed we were standing on an atom’s center, and that electrons were whizzing through this mist on occasion. I stopped time in order to freeze one of these electrons in place, and it was a small light pink ball dimly visible above and ahead of me. I found, therefore, that there is no space (emptiness) between elemental particles. Instead, there is this white energy haze, no doubt Spirit Energy as has been explained in my readings. We then left our embrace, and were back in “reality.” In the Trees across from me, a circular hole to the Sky opened up, and I saw a large Hawk flying through this Tree tunnel to me. He picked me up and tucked me into his Feathers next to his neck, as if to be able to talk to me or at least watch me. We flew through the Tunnel and ended up in an area where a Tipi stood. A large golden Hawk on the side thereof told me this was the Tipi of the Hawk Medicine People, and we landed on the sticks at the top of the structure. I looked down, and several of the Medicine People came out to speak with me. They were smiling, and had been Smoking a Pipe inside, as I had smelled the Smoke when we first landed. I went down to be with them. Then a most unusual thing happened: all imagery ceased for a while as I went into a trance-like stasis. I could still hear the Drumming I was doing, but there were no more inputs. After a small interval, I suddenly found myself entering a very small classroom in China, and as I watched a very gentle teacher begin explaining something in Chinese to a student unseen, I thought to myself that I have to know begin thinking in Chinese. I didn’t decide to learn the language..just to switch to it mentally. That ended the imagery. No more followed, and I eventually drummed myself back to the room and thanked my Guardians and Guides. I then took a nap. During this afternoon I have been contemplating this Journey..how different it was. There had never been a shutdown like this before, with only one small tidbit coming to me. My guess is that this was a very important sequence..that the purpose of my Hawk Dream and the subsequent incredible Hawk interventions thereafter all point in one direction. I must switch to think in the language of the Hawk Medicine People. Hawk reflects sharpness of mind, intuition, fired up energy fields, brilliance in a flash. Hawk can also burn out if one does not learn to temper and control the immense energies. So that is the task before me. My Trunk of Beliefs has been getting redder with time since my last Journey..now, my thinking must follow suit and become more that of the Hawk Shaman. After all, that is my name: Four Hawks. It is exciting to think of the furtherance of my Shaman skills that will occur as I activate this new language..but it will all be intuitive, as I have no conscious idea what that Hawk Language is..I’ll know it, however, when I am thinking in it. I am now very grateful for this different Journey, although when I initially returned I was quite disappointed in its sparseness.

Journey 22 - Hernia Healing

11/14: My morning Journey took me to try to discover how I can heal my hernia patch from within. I smudged the room with Sweet Grass and Sage, lit the Sacred Candle, and took off self-drumming. I was sitting atop one of a whole grouping of trees, in very warm and pleasingly moist air..near perfect summer air. In the distance I saw Owl flying and looping toward me, but a horizontally placed reflection was coming with him. There were, that is, two Owls, one on the left, one on the right, whose motions were mirror images of each other. When Owl got to me, though, he converged into one. We took off together and flew through the Sky Cloud Tunnel into the Higher World. I was suddenly inside an old-style western saloon, and there was a Native sitting in old-west clothing on one side of a bench near the window. He was controlling the motions of the sun and moon from there..in the sky one could see the two bodies moving up or down at the command of his hand. This told me he was able to alter the flow of time. He then had me sit beside him, and he changed me back into a young boy, apparently so my body could revisit and relearn the DNA code for the structure of the torn muscle prior to the injury. To remember how it should be, that is. I was then returned to my current age. He then sent me alone out to a semi-wooded area next to a pond..there were trees and shrubs as well as lots of clear dirt areas. Very pretty. I instinctively lay face down on the dirt, to place my body next to Mother Earth to advance the healing of this muscle. Then, I was transported to the Chipmunk hole near the feeding area out back in our yard. I was made to lie with the damaged muscle area right over the opening. From the opening came little “energy Ants”, packets of energy that flowed individually into the area, to begin recombining the muscle fibers. I lay like that for a while. That was the end of the Journey, and Owl and I rushed back to the room, where I thanked all the Helpers and took a nap. I’m not sure if I’m to actually lay on the ground now for healing, to do it in the Spirit World, or both. Obviously focusing on how the muscle should look is also very important, and suggested by my conversion to being a boy again. Additionally important is to see the “energy ants” at work all the time. Finally, the “reflective” nature of the Owl’s approach at the start reminds me to keep looking at the alternate side of reality..the yin as well as the yang. Light as well as dark. The Heyoka principle, very important to Shaman perspective and success. I am very grateful for this trip and the information provided.

Journey 21 - Rains Again Revealed

10/29: A quick Rattle Journey. I asked my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, to meet me and take me anywhere he thought I should go. We slithered along the forest floor for a short time until we reached a small tree with a hollow at the very bottom. Into the hollow we went. What a sight to behold inside this 4-inch diameter Tree. There was a huge Plain before me, stretching for miles, dotted with Tipis. Up the inside walls of the Tree, reaching hundreds of feet up, flowed paths of Rainbow light. Green and gold Spirit Energy filaments were hanging in the air. I am suddenly sitting with an Elder, who speaks to me. He reveals that even though I was once the Shaman Rains Again, I no longer am, and should not refer to myself as such, as I have been doing (in Prayer I call myself Four Hawks/Rains Again). He said my only Shaman name now was to be Four Hawks. He told me that as Rains Again, I was very powerful. But, before I was ready, I began dabbling with dark Spirit Energies I should not have. This brought very bad times to the Village and my People turned on me. (Aside: this must be why I got such negative feelings during my initial Journeys to this 5-Stone Altar). I therefore lost my Power. This Power loss was (is) also the ultimate source of the inferiority feelings I had as a boy and young man, going way back past the childhood episodes revealed in a recent Journey and recorded earlier in this Journal. My Elder told me that I was doing it right now, and on the correct Path of Truth once again. He told me using the 5-Stone Altar is absolutely fine, as long as I don’t approach/use it as Rains Again. He also told me that the straying I did as Rains Again is why I am not given permission to contact the Spirits of those who have recently passed on. He said my skills are nowhere near what they need to be to handle such tricky affairs yet. For now, I am to continue my explorations of myself and the Spirit Camp to gain knowledge and Power. Maybe someday, he said, you will be strong enough to start dealing with the powerful, tricky and grasping darkness of some of the Astral Beings.

Journey 20 - How to Relax?

10/22: A self-drummed Journey to discover a way to relax when I get home from work. I went back into the woods as before to visit with my Owl Guide (who is Eagle Claw, my Upper World Guide). As I moved through the very dark forest, I could see the green auras of all the Trees glowing nicely before me. Small gold particles were flowing in large and organized swaths, back and forth between them, particles of manna bringing information and healing to one another. My path forward was lit on the ground by small specks of rainbow lights. I got to the Clearing where I have visited several times before. All the gold specks here were floating circularly toward the center of the Clearing. Suddenly I was shape-shifted above the Trees, and as I looked around I could see the green canopy of Tree auras everywhere. Various rainbow paths zig-zagged through the extensive canopy of aura. Suddenly Owl came to sit on my right arm, and then moved directly in front of me. Staring into one of his eyes, I could see myself kneeling at the 5-Stone Altar holding a Crystal. Immediately thereafter, I was in my room, and the following Relaxation Ritual was presented to me. I smudge the room and my Crystal, then pass the Crystal quickly over a lit flame. I then touch each of my Chakras with the Crystal Wand, each time holding it up to my eyes to look for the rainbow within, then sweeping the Crystal 7 times with my Owl/Hawk Feather. At then end of all cleansings, I wash the Crystal under running water to disperse the unwanted energies harmlessly back into the Earth for use in a positive way elsewhere. After this Ritual was presented, I was back above the Trees in the Clearing. I could see little Spirit Power Centers sprinkles throughout the vast landscape. One of the most powerful was right at my Prayer Spot, where a huge vortex of spirit powers pins constantly like a top. I could see Spirit Beings soar into the edges of the vortex to launch themselves outward in a different direction. These Beings come to my Spirit Vortex to regain energy needed for their next task, and to launch themselves into the proper direction without using their own energy. I am honored that my Power Place is so vigorous that other Spirits now use it as well. This means my Shamanic presence is doing good that I don’t even know about. :)

Journey 19 - Emotional Chakra Tunnel Check

10/12: I took my first Journey to my own Chakra tunnels today. I decided after a very emotional evening at hockey last night to check out the status. This was my very first Journey to my own tunnels, and I chose Tunnel 2, just below the navel, to investigate my emotional landscape. I met Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide, at the orange entrance to this tunnel. We had not gone in more than very short distance when suddenly the entire tunnel turned into a black, molasses like sludge, very sticky. A bat-like head with a nasty snarl jumped out at me from the right, and I asked Crosses to take care of it. He ate it. Crosses then asked me to go back to the entrance to the tunnel while he cleared out much of the goop using a two-pronged (yin-yang) probe made of white light. We then went in further. Next to present themselves were a bunch of beings with very spindly arms and legs, with matchstick like heads. They were wobbling around and basically a nuisance versus a threat. I took them to be past emotions, or current emotional attitudes just hobbling around. We then went further and came to a huge dam, with nothing flowing over or through it. We were suddenly on this huge bridge over the damn, with a very steep arc to the bridge itself. We came down to a grassy/tree-spotted knoll on the other side. We then went back to the entrance. I was very nervous at this point, no doubt a result of disturbing this tunnel. So I decided to go back to the dam and get the waters flowing through it again. I did this, and the orange water (fresh and healthy emotions) began pouring again. I made sure these waters reached all the way to the tunnel entrance, and drummed back. Perhaps the stick Beings (my emotional attitudes) will be healthier now, with some fresh “water” to re-hydrate them. I was very grateful to Crosses. When I was back in the room, I noticed my mid section felt VERY stimulated, as I had been doing work there. I took my crystal wand and sucked out all the remaining unwanted emotions that were flooding through the tunnel with the restored flow. I then took the wand and rinsed it with cold water, in order to disperse the negative energies harmlessly back to Mother Earth. I have altered my emotional landscape with this Journey, and hope to keep the healthy flow going. Occasional visits there will help. My next Journey will be to launch from the knoll further upstream, to see if there are any emotional issues there that need to be dealt with that could cause the flow to stop again.

Journey 18 - The Crystal Chamber in My Head

10/10: I undertook a Journey this afternoon in an attempt to find out how I can increase my ability to read Spirit Energy, mainly in People. I just don’t get it, and I asked my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front to take me to a place where I might discover, or better uncover, this ability. I self-drummed after smudging and Shamanic breathing to relax. I met with Crosses in the small Chipmunk hole out back, but we were not there for more than an instant. Immediately I was walking across a field with loose vegetation as Crosses slithered ahead in front of me, leading the way. After a short time, we came to a shoreline..and we both continued walking across the water a great distance out. We came to a very small mound of stones and dirt with a few small plants, and came to a rest there. Water surrounded us completely, and the sky above was almost the same hue and brightness. We sat there for a few seconds and I waited. Suddenly, I found myself shrinking down to ground level..and suddenly I WAS this little island. I felt that sense of permanence and presence that Stone People feel, complete with a detachment from the surrounding water, despite the closeness and immersion therein. I remembered the Water represents the emotions, and both our walk across the water, and now my separation from it by being immoveable and solid and just aware, was a signal to me that to read Spirit Bodies correctly one had to all but drop one’s emotional attachment to the subject, and view it with the awareness of Stone and Dirt and Plant People. As I sat there, a Dragonfly went by and I could see its Spirit Body glistening around it. I asked Crosses if that were all. But no, Crosses then abruptly changed the scene and took me down through my own head into my Brain. We went by some lobes and went in deeper. We came to a small, dark and long unused corridor, with a very rusty door on a wall, upon which was hung a very rusty key. I was told to pick up the key, and as I did it sprang to life and glowed with energy..it had turned to crystal. The door lock had done so as well, and I inserted the key and opened the door. We moved inside, where it was completely black. No light, nothing. We just went further and further in, until I looked behind and saw the doorway was just a speck of very bright light, like a strong star. I turned back to behold a white shaft of light before me. I got the sense this was the white dot on the black field of the yin yang symbol, the symbol of ultimate balance. I stepped into the shaft and was back up on the island again. Wanting to return to learn more, I went back to the doorway in my brain, and it was all crystal by now. I then began to take people I knew into this black room with me. I took Janet, but felt my reading of her colors was generated by my own thinking, not by her actual radiance, so I took her back out. I took in a co-worker for a check, and saw he had quite a few areas of lowered spirit colors. I looked at my own body and saw some lowered energy in the chest and sacral Chakra areas. Since I can only work on my own Spirit Body, not having permission from the others, I fixed my own weak areas by adding energy back to them. Suddenly the black void turned very bright, and I was inside a huge sphere made of millions of crystal facets, all radiating different hues of the rainbow. Two Feathers and Crosses were both there. They told me I could project images of peoples’ robes onto the crystal walls, and view the energy excesses/lacks from there in the shadowy shape it made. I was told I can visit this room at any time to check on Spirit Robes. I pried the door open with my Crystal Wand to keep it from shutting again. I then felt Crosses planting a four-petal Spirit Flower in my head, with the petals inside my skull and the stem base within the Crystal Sphere. It was as if this was to give me the Life Power of the Four Directions at all times. Crosses and I then came back, and I thanked her and drummed back into the room. I felt extremely at peace, knowing the door to increased awareness of Spirit Powers was now open, and I had been taught the state (almost unemotional awareness) and a technique for measuring Spirit Power in people. I knew my Crystal Wand, some of whose energy was now holding the door open, would also play a key role.

Journey 17 - Both Women were Shamans

10/6 I performed my first Rattle-induced Journey this afternoon. As I lay shaking the Rattle directly over my brow, I kept repeating my Native names, asserting that is who I am. Over and over I repeated the names: ”I am Four Hawks..I am Rains Again..” Suddenly, a large white ball of energy appeared before me. The surface was irregular, almost teeming with small filaments, and it was BRIGHT white, almost like the sun. I saw small colored dots and shapes on the otherwise white surface, and it came to me that these were pathways into different universes/lives, and one would choose the color by the lesson needed in that life. As I looked to my left, I saw both my wife and pastor standing next to each other, both looking at me with smiles. I realized that both had been Shamans in prior lives! They have been sent to me to help rein my free-spirit in. I have TWO key helpers here in this life! Based on what I have gathered so far, I somehow had failed my lesson as Rains Again 900 years ago, and have returned now as Four Hawks to try again. These two superb women are here to help guide me. I looked back at the ball, and the Color I chose to come into this life was Purple, the highest of the Spirit colors! I found this Journey, short as it was, incredibly powerful and indelible. All of existence exists as a small white circular mass of pure energy, and one chooses which color-path to enter on one’s way to a new lesson in life. I got the sense that this was a very small ball..and while I did not sense this during my Journey, I am sure there are many more like it.

Journey 16 - Dad's Business Card

10/3 Took a second Journey today to discover what the story is/was with the business card of my Dad’s that Ma found long after his passing. On the back were four account numbers, one for each child, with account numbers and sizeable amounts of money for each. My Mom has had no luck finding the accounts or any other history thereof. Recall I asked via Pendulum if I could discover the Truth thereof, and got a YES. So I self-drummed a second time and called on the Hawk that took the Dove before my Smoke. Riding her back, she took me into the woods and immediately to the Clearing where I had looked into the Crystal while Eagle Claw beat his wings above me, to discover the status of Janet’s job. As we reached a Tree to the side of the Clearing, Eagle Claw was there as Owl. Hawk put me onto the branch next to him after landing, so I was sandwiched between them. We then both shimmied down the Branch to the end, and from there Owl took me instantly down to Boston, where we landed at my Dad’s grave. We then went under! There was a small, gray and dim room with single table. Eagle Claw and I sat for a short time. There was a map of thw work place city on it, but no clues as to where the funds might be..nothing rang out at all. Suddenly my Dad appeared as a young adult. He didn’t speak, but I received the message that the same accountant who ripped $6,000 off my mother in a phony investment scam after my Dad died also ripped off my Dad! He had placed these accounts with this guy..and I also got the impression that Dad learned of the scam just before he died, and was unable to pass the info onto us..or was too embarrassed. In fact, it was learning of the scam that contributed most to his fatal attack. I got the sense that the Dark blob that visited my mother a few years after we left the area was the accountant, coming to say he was sorry. Dad asked me not to tell my mother of this, so I will honor his wishes. I thanked him for the info. Then, to my right at this table, my Dad’s old face appeared, in fact the “official” picture we have of him shortly before he passed. His eye suddenly turned into to very small and bright lights. His face then changed to black, and with its inverted triangular shape and shining eyes and angry smile, it was quite disconcerting. I’m not sure it that was also him, his shadow self, my shadow self as seen by him..or what. Whatever the purpose, I shall hold this image in my heart, until I can figure its meaning. I then drummed my self back to the room. My deepest thanks to Hawk and Eagle Claw and my Dad for all the info on this Journey.

Journey 15 - Spirit Landscape at Local Church

I Journeyed this morning to see what Spirit powers live at a local Church I've been attending, after smudging the room with Sage and Sweet Grass, and a few minutes of Shamanic Breathing. I self-drummed versus using the CD. I went to the lawn outside the building and invited my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front to come with me. But Crosses seemed reluctant, as this was not really a Journey to the Lower World, but to the Spirit presence in this one. While I was beginning the Journey, a scene of a large collection of Tipis flashed before me, as did my visit to the Tree of Life and the image of my Upper World Trainer, Eagle Claw. These passed by very quickly, and I refocused on the task at hand. So Crosses went with me to the far Woodchuck opening by the woods, but we did not gain access through there. We went to the opening by the bush near the building. Again, as I went in, I felt Crosses resisting, so I went in alone. At first it was just dark and claustrophobia-inducing. I asked for another Guide to be with me, and came out. Two Feathers came to me, and we went back into together. This time the tunnel led to a small, well-lit room, with a table. At the table sat a white man, dressed in traditional Christian ceremonial garb. Seated at the table with him were a couple of black, hooded beings, with black faces that spoke of normal facial features but didn’t really have any that were identifiable as such. Two Feathers and I walked around this table looking at the beings. They were motionless, as if frozen in time. It seemed apparent that the dark beings were NOT in harmony with the religious man. We then noticed a large Bible sitting on a stand in the corner of the room, and went over to it. When I got there, I saw the title John 3: 6,7 flash before me. It comes from the part of the Gospel where Jesus is teaching the Pharisee Nicodemus about being born again. I have since excerpted it and print it below:

John 3:

6
Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives new life from heaven.

7
So don't be surprised at my statement that you must be born again.

Two Feathers then came over to the stand with me. The room had gotten noticeable darker, as if being lit only by candles versus the appearance of electric light the room first had. As we looked at the Bible, we noticed a large Golden Feather acting as a bookmark toward the back of the Bible. We opened it, and were shown the title Matthew 24: 6,7. It is reproduced below, and comes from the portion of the Gospel where Jesus is speaking of the end times.

Matthew 24:

6
You will hear of wars and reports of wars; see that you are not alarmed, for these things must happen, but it will not yet be the end.
7
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be famines and earthquakes from place to place.

Right as we looked at that part of the Bible, it began to disintegrate. It splintered into tiny bits of paper before becoming a single flame of fire hovering over the stand. Shortly thereafter, the Flame disappeared and in its place was a single, large and perfect pink Rose. Flowers.com reports that “pink roses in general represent happiness, gracefulness and gentleness but if you really want to get specific, light pink symbolizes admiration and sympathy while deep pink symbolizes gratitude and appreciation.” It seemed to me that the rose on the Bible stand was in between light and deep.. The Golden Feather was still there. I took both to my Spirit Totems collection, as they were gifts to me from the event. We turned around, and all the figures who were around the table had disappeared.

I then asked if I might see who was living in the Church as Spirits. I found out the Native Spirit in the High School room was guarding his village’s gravesite. Perhaps that is why I saw the numerous Tipis when I first began. I then asked about the ceremonially dressed Spirit in the Sanctuary and was shown that he was a single figure who was from the Norse visits many hundreds of years ago. He apparently had been taken in by the people in the Native village and befriended them. He has never left them since. I then saw another room sitting beneath the building that had several (at least 4) blue Spirit Shapes moving around inside. I could not be sure if these were presently there, perhaps people who have passed but are still involved in the area..or perhaps Spirits from another age.

I then was taken above the grounds of the church and shown that there is a thin layer of blue Spirit Life hugging the grounds of the entire area like a moonlit blanket of snow. I got the sense that there might be a parallel world present at this site, complete with other races and events. This might tie in with the Spirit Shapes in the room mentioned above.

Finally, while still above the site, I saw that a strong and very bright beam of rainbow colored light is pouring down into the pastor’s house. I then saw her come out and go to her deck, and she herself has a Spirit Aura that is a very bright rainbow, as it should be. My final images was of her face elevated in a church that was quite different from the one we have now. This was very large, all wood and very Middle Ages looking, with lots of wood carvings and the like. At first I sensed this meant her Spirit would be present in the current church for years to come. But then I realized this wasn’t our church. Again, I was unable to sense whether this was a past, alternative or future image. It seemed as if it might be the future..

I thanked my Guides and returned.

Journey 14 - Overcoming Fear of Death

I took this Journey in response to the Medicine Dream of the other night, in which I felt myself and my daughter and and grandaughter under attack from the dark force (white, oval head with red eyes in this case), back in my house in MA where all these Battles have played out. Recall that toward the end of that Dream I had gone downstairs, only to find several people in obvious total distress, slamming up against the windows with ebola-like symptoms and seeking help in a final desperation. I was yelling “No, No” and trying to get back up the stairs to my daughter. It was at this point that the Dream ended. My yells awoke my wife! I obviously still have some issues with fear.
So I took advantage of the earlier offer for me to Journey and see what is what with my Shadow Self, and what this Dream meant. I self-drummed, as I find this a more effective way to travel. I smudged the area with both Sage and Sweet Grass. I used the Shamanic Breathing technique for about two minutes to increase my Spirit Essence and to relax. I then headed out, with Two Feathers and Gray Wolf, my guardians, by my side. I found ourselves walking toward the golden sunset of the other night, attracted by the Spirit Power thereof. At first, the golden light was a brilliant road with the shining sun on the horizon, but then it expanded to became a plain. I saw some traditional western buildings to my right at one point, also gold, with the sun becoming a Tipi in the distance, gold as well. At times the colors shifted on the Plain, with Rose and Green showing up at times. Suddenly, the scene shifted, and I was standing next to a very tall Standing Person (Tree), that was a luminescent green with very thick leaf coverage..essentially no gaps and branches visible. There were Shamans sitting around the base of the Tree, and I knew these were the Shamans minding the Tree of Life. I joined them, and they handed me my own Pipe, that was also glowing in its own colors. As we Smoked, one of the Shamans told me I was well on my way in learning to deal with my Shadow Self, and that it actually wanted to cooperate with me in helping my achieve total Shaman’s Death. He also told me that my Dream was sent to show me what my basic reaction is still when presented with fear and the threat of death: self-preservation and preservation of my own immediate family. He told me I should have thought of the people outside the windows instead, and tried to help and heal them with my power of Prayer. In order to be in total unison with my Shadow Self, he went on, I must be ready to help those in the most need at all times, regardless on the consequences to myself or my family. Then, small golden balls of Spirit Essence (mana) appeared on the Tree. I was told to eat these often, for I would be helping feed my Shadow Self as well as myself. I then could see my Spirit Body a short distance in front of me, with my Shadow Self trapped within. As I watched him eat one of these golden fruits, he became smaller and more content. Then, the Sacred Tree began to radiate in different colors as we sat in silence. The lesson was over. Or so I thought. Suddenly, I saw a Skull before me, and knew instantly it was mine. I started to feed smaller orbs of the Golden Spirit Fruit through the eye sockets, based on instinctual instruction from my Helpers. This seemed amusing to me, as if it were a way of overcoming fear of my own Death. This action also was a way of increasing my own Spirit Power, I was told. I then walked into the Tree itself. It was not solid but enveloping, and I became one with its energy field. I felt at one with all things, and experienced the healing Power of all prior Shamans. My body was tingling from head to toe with delight and peace. I then decided to call myself back, and drummed back into the room, my body still tingling from the wonder of touching the Tree of Life. Many thanks to the Shamans and my Guardians who helped me in this Journey.

Journey 13b - Job App Status

9/20/03: Journey to discover the status of my wife’s job application at a different company. I prepared more diligently this time. I took Shamanic breaths several minutes to relax, and then smudged the room with Sage Smoke. I hand-drummed again. I have found that drumming for myself is much more effective, so I will probably not use the CD much more. To begin the Journey, I knew to walk back to the Circle where the Spirits had been dancing around the Sparking Tower. I really put myself in these woods with all my senses, as we are supposed to do. I came to the Dance Clearing. It was about 100 feet across, with a large circle of dead Leaves forming a covering. I walked across the Leaves to sit in the middle (indicates balance). I found a chunk of clear Quartz that was beveled like a diamond. As I picked it up, flowers popped out of the Leaves. They were 3” high with thin green Leaves beneath a large 2” circle of off-white, tightly packed petals. Then, my Guardian Two Feathers arrived. I took the opportunity to kneel before her and thank her for guiding me all these 51 years, and for letting me leave the Spirit Camp for this Walk on Earth. She was glad to see me so humbly thankful, and even teased me humorously by changing to look like the wood Wall Hanging I have of her, before changing back. I looked in her eyes and saw the same eyes as Eagle Claw has..the eyes of the Owl..before they went back to normal. She then took my diamond-shaped Quartz Crystal and smoothed it into a perfect Sphere with her Hands, and gave it back to me. Suddenly, Owl was in the Trees at the edge of the Clearing. He suddenly grew Huge, covering the Sky, and began beating his wings. The dead Leaves blew around Two Feathers and me. I sank into a hole in the ground, surrounded by the Leaves, as she stood above. I then looked into the Crystal Sphere, and saw a corridor in the company, which led to the desk of the supervisor who had interviewed my wife. Her resume was tossed to the side, as if carelessly discarded. This suggested to me that perhaps the husband of the company employee got the job. But the supervisor was still very interested in my wife. I was then shown the Shipping area, where a job in the records dept involving a lot of Excel and Word usage was waiting for her, at 24K to start. I hen came back up, and Owl had shrunk to normal size. I then asked Two Feathers about my misgivings, very strong today, concerning Rains Again and the 5-Stone Altar. She then told me what I had been suspecting: I was Rains Again! My discomfort must flow from seeing the Altar again and seeing it in this time. I got the sense I must have strayed off the Sacred Path of Beauty as Rains Again, and did some unauthorized stuff..revenge type stuff. So I have come back to correct this and to use the Altar only for good! Two Feathers then left. I came back to the yard. First, I placed the perfect Quartz Sphere on my 5-Stone Altar. Then I brought it in to my room, where it shrank and became a single molecule at the very tip of my Crystal Wand..always available when needed. Another tool for seeing and healing! After I was back, I opened up the Meadows book and at random came to the page describing meaning of Stones and Minerals acquired on Shamanic Journeys. Diamond = prosperity, and Quartz = Spiritual Development. There are no coincidences!

Journey 13a - 5-Stone Altar Made

9/19: This morning I made a 5-Stone Altar using some Stone People who had earlier shown an interest, found by the feeding area. I placed the 5 Stones in a circle near the Pipe Prayer Spot, and interconnected all the Stones with sticks from the surrounding area. I made sure, however, to use one stick from the area where the Stone came from. Fascinating to see was that the sticks running from one Stone to the opposite two made a “Y”, symbolic of +/-, yes/no, male/female, yang/yin..in short, balance. Shaman’s balance. It has been nearly 900 years since such an Altar was in place here. As I looked down at it, I felt a little spooky thinking of all that time and how things were back then. But I knew it had been a very powerful place, and again felt that Rains Again had dealt with some hefty negative forces in his time.

Journey 13 - Owl in Woods is Eagle Claw!

I decided to take a quick second Journey to see what the Owl in the woods represented. I used my own drumming this time, and asked Gray Wolf, a long-time Guardian but one I have never used before, to go with me into the dark woods outside my house to visit the Owl. The intense darkness quickly gave way to a moonlit type forest floor, so I knew I had crossed into a new section of time and space. We got to a clearing and I could see blue Spirit shapes dancing in a clearing ahead. I joined in with them, after looking up at Owl in the Standing Person and seeing (or sensing) that Owl was Eagle Claw! As I joined in the Dance, a great Sparkler Tower ignited in the middle of the Dance area. I suddenly found myself either shape-shifting to a great height or floating up. As I sank down into this Sparkler Tower, I suddenly saw all the Spirits dancing around clearly as people, and in broad daylight. When I came back out, all was as it was before, with the Blue Shapes only. Suddenly, Owl took me across the Tree Tops. We raced into Space and over to Eagle Claw’s ledge! There, Eagle Claw sat, remaining in the Owl Shape. While I was there, Eagle Claw gave me a new phrase for my benefit. This phrase is a power phrase, to be used to strengthen my spirit awareness and happiness. The phrase is Ashi Manapana Wesu. We then returned to the clearing, and the Spirits and Tower faded to darkness, with only the Owl calling in the Tree left. I then came back to the room and grounded myself. My deepest thanks to all my Spirit Helpers for guiding me safely on these two Journeys.

Journey 12 - Hurricane Isabel Track

9/16/03: My first Journey involved using the Shaman Drumming CD. I had asked via Pendulum if I might try to determine the true course of Hurricane Isabel via a Journey. Telling the future is an advanced technique, and I figured even if it didn’t work it was worth the training. So I smudged the room with Sage and Sweetgrass and went to it. I rode a Peace Eagle up into the sky, digging my fingers comfortably into his side as we flew. He turned and smiled. We rapidly ended up in a place in the coastal south, with lots of trees and brush which reminded me of scenes I’d seen from Virginia, so I figured I was in the right place. Suddenly, it turned dark, and I was on a large field with different colored, shining fire piles, with dark figures sitting around them. As I walked, I looked back at one and it seemed to remind me of Two Feather’s shape. Ahead of me was a very brightly shining, tan –colored Tipi, and I knew I was meant to go for that. As I got to it, I looked up. In the sky was my new Shaman symbol, with the S and parenthesis made of clouds, and the two dots made of stars. Suddenly, the two stars erupted in very bright beams of white light, shining straight down like narrow tubes, which turned the Tipi very bright. I went in, taking this as an invitation. The floor was covered with a very elegant bearskin throw, which covered the interior floor. Rains Again, the new Shaman Helper I met in my Journey behind the shed, came toward me slowly with my Pipe. We suddenly both shape-shifted to very small beings, and walked into the Bowl on the Stem side. As I walked, I could see that every Smoke I had done with this Pipe was recorded in full detail (3-D and in motion) on the sides. As we reached the center of the Bowl, we reached a Clearing. Rains’s 5-sided Altar was there, but the 5 Stone People were ablaze with light, and the interior was made up of blue sky with connecting strands of Clouds. We immersed ourselves into this part of the Altar. Suddenly, I was alone and flying above the hurricane. I saw it move into the southern half North Carolina versus the very northern section currently forecast, and from there northward into SE Ontario. Then, I came back to the Altar. Rains Again and I looked up the chimney part of my Bowl at this point, and saw stars in a large universe. So that is where my Prayer Smoke and Prayers go..into the Star Nation! I then asked Rains if there were anymore to be learned, and he said no. As the imagery went to black (several phone calls interrupted me a bit at this point anyway), I concentrated on images crossing the “screen” of my mind’s eye. I saw a Native approaching with two bright and small inverted triangles in his belt. I also saw a face of a being with large eyes and a trunk-like projection for a nose. I felt discomfort with this being, so asked for Two Feathers to come to me for protection. After that, I fell into more random dreams patterns and knew the journey was over, so I came back early and stopped the CD.

Journey 11 - First Encounter with Rains Again

I decided today’s Journey should be to discover the Native history of my Power Area. It is obviously filled with Spirit Power (recall I’ve seen it flowing in a Dream Vision), and has been there for eons. So I self-drummed, and soon met with Crosses, my Snake Guide, near the Epiphany Tree. He dug a small hole and suggested we go down through it. We went directly under the Epiphany Tree, and I could clearly see its dear roots spreading out in all directions, hanging down from the ground above us as if suspended from a ceiling. Suddenly, directly below the Tree, stood a very old and worn Tipi. I got the sense that the portion of the Tree above ground were the sticks sticking out of the Tipi’s top. Crosses and I went into the Tipi, and it was very dark and old, smelling of long-since burnt Sacred Herbs. There was nothing on the walls, the floor was very dark and bare. Suddenly, all my Helpers (Two Feathers, Gray Wolf, Eagle Claw, Underground Bear and of course Crosses) appeared with me, and we all joined hands and were floating around in the dark. After a few seconds, I could see land below me. It was my neighborhood, but very long ago. The River near my house was wider and closer to my house than it is now. The area was thickly wooded, as now. I got the sense that the people who lived here then were mainly fish and small game eaters. There was a strong feeling that this area never supported large groups of people for long periods of time. However, there was one small Tribe that lived here, about 900 years ago. One of the men from this Tribe came out of the sunlit woods (as I now stood on the ground) and showed me a wood and sinew contraption that had 5 corners, with the sinews interconnecting all the points both around and across. He held it out to me to inspect. I had no idea what it was, but though it might be a hunting tool..but how would that work?! I was confused. Suddenly, my mind shifted to the area right behind my shed, but in a time way back. I saw a very old man, the Tribal Shaman. He had a set of stones on the ground, 5 of them, with sticks interconnecting all the points, just like the item the man had showed me. So THAT was it! What I was shown was a mini-version of the Shaman’s power altar. I sensed that the Shaman would dance around these stones and sticks for power and prayer. I saw that he could actually change his size from very large (taller than the trees) to very small (smaller than a chipmunk). I sensed he used this power both to heal and to discover news. He did not use a Pipe..it was not invented. But he did use to the Spirit of Stones and Trees to work. I sensed his name was “Rains Again.” I sensed that in his practice, Rains Again had to deal with a lot of Negative Forces. I was so unnerved at one point I had to ask Crosses to come sit by me as I viewed these Stones. Having recovered my balance, I then realized that these stones are still down under my Prayer Site! What a thrill! They have been pushed and spread apart a bit by the centuries of Earth-shifting, but they are still there!! The Shaman himself was buried about 700 feet SE of my house, so HE is still there too. No wonder there is so much Spirit Power in this area, and that I was restored to my Shaman ways by living here. I then sensed that all of us, my Helpers and Rains Again, were meeting in my room (but what is was back then) as I lay there. White Spirit Rain was falling heavily upon all of us, strengthening us. Rains Again, who was on my right, then drew a symbol in the dirt before me. It was an S, with two small dots, one within each bend of the letter. To the upper right (the Northeast quadrant) of the S was a rotated right-parentheses symbol that stretched from the east to the north point. I memorized this symbol, for I was certain it was being given to me as a symbol of Shamanic Power! (I have since, in the hour since my Journey ended, constructed a Shaman’s Wand using a small stick given me a few weeks ago on a walk with Janet. I have attached all the Feathers I received from the Hawk-kill of the Dove a few weeks back. On the handle of the stick I have carved in my new symbol. This Wand will now serve with me to strengthen my Prayer Ceremonies.) After this message, I returned to the here and now. I have since checked my new symbol against ancient symbology called “Runes”, used by the ancients as power symbols. My symbol is very close to the rune that stands for “Power of Will, Directing Power, Spine, Regeneration, the SHAMAN’S RUNE (my emphasis added)”. There is therefore no doubt I have been given my own Shaman’s symbol. How amazingly exciting!! I then checked the number 5, since I’m not used to any other Sacred numbers than 4 and 7. 5 stands for the Power of Unconditional Love! It represents “the means of merging with all that exists around us.” It also represents “the primary matrix, a center with 4 cardinal points”. It represents “the Power of Family, and is placed in the due South, the Direction of Trust and Innocence.” So now I have a firm knowledge of the Spirit past of this place, and have the added bonus of having met with and received my Shaman’s symbol from the Shaman who once practiced here.

Journey 10 - Eagle Rise/Fall Dance

I took a Journey using my Shamanic Drumming CD. The purpose was to learn how to use my new Rattles for healing People. I smudged the room with Sage and Sweetgrass, then lay down to the opening drumming sequence while asking to learn how to use my Rattles and imagining my opening scene. I met the Peace Eagle of earlier over the restaurant and climbed on her back. She took me higher and higher in loops, through a very pleasant layer of beautifully warm air. We then got up to the Cloud People, who were alive and smiling and speaking to us as we flew by. Suddenly there were little streamers of light in the sky, hanging down like ribbons, through which we flew. As we did so, little drops of purple-blue Spirit Essence were clinging to us. Ahead, we saw a Cloud Person Tipi, toward which we headed. As we went through this Cloud Person, we entered a very short tunnel that led to a more solid Plain of Tipis, where I was met by Eagle Claw. We walked together and I asked him to teach me how to use my Rattles to heal. He took me to a particular Tipi, which I entered. Inside was Two Feathers, my Guardian! She helped me dress in Deerskin leggings and a pull-over, open shirt of hide. We painted my face in red and white stripes, and my arms in yellow and black. I then went out and Eagle Claw led me to the Shaman Dancing Fire. Above this huge fire, which sat in the middle of a large opening, well up in the sky, were four loops of Eagles circling around a center point, lending the appearance of a four-leaf Clover. Each loop of Eagles was colored for the direction it was pointed toward (Red, Yellow, Black, White), and they were very vibrant. From the mid point of the loop down to the tip of the fire another set of Eagles were alternately diving straight down or going straight up, Blue as they ascended, Green as they descended. I then watched as the Shamans danced with their Rattles. As they moved straight toward the fire from a Cardinal direction, they were timed perfectly with the Eagles going up (that is, both the Dance in and the Flight up took the same time). They had their arms raised up, and were praying their prayer. As they went back out from the Fire, timed perfectly for the Eagles coming down, they were bent over and giving thanks. They did this 7 times. I was then allowed to participate, as if taking my turn, so I learned how to move back and forth in perfect unison with the Eagles going up and down, while praying and giving thanks. I then went back to the Tipi, where now a Council Fire with my Prayer Lodge Helpers was taking place. Also, the person I’m praying for, was in there, dressed normally. We smoked from my Pipe and passed it to her as well. The Woman in the Dress doll from the Amazon that our friend gave me was also there. She came up to me and whispered a new healing phrase: Shweshi Wasaji Omapu. The 2nd word is almost the same as the phrase given me by Eagle Claw for my Star Rainbow Healing Ceremony (Wasaja). She then took a mixture of Pipe ash, Sage ash and Sweetgrass Ash and sprinkled it over the person being prayed for while saying those words. After this healing ceremony, I thanked all my helpers. Then Peace Eagle took me through the sky again. This time the clear portion was a brilliant, glowing purple, while Cloud People came and went through it. I saw a Horse’s Face, and a Man Shadow (my shadow self?). I then drifted off deeper into the drumming, almost in a trance, and after a short while, realizing my lesson was over, I came back, once more thanked my Helpers, and took the Peace Eagle back to our world, retracing our steps. I had to bang on the CD player to complete my transition back to this time, since that part of the CD was unavailable. :) I then took my Rattle and actually danced the Colored Eagle Rattle Dance in my room for my friend, after which I “went in the Prayer Tipi” and anointed her, saying the new phrase 7 times. I then repeated the Dance for a person in Shaw’s who had told me this morning that she had lost all her belongings in an apartment fire caused by a neighbor’s air conditioner. She had no insurance and no place to go. I danced for her in a separate Dance, then likewise anointed her with the new phrase. As I moved forward with arms up, I said my prayer and saw the Blue Eagles flying skyward. As I moved back, bent down, giving thanks, I saw the Green Eagles diving downward. I was also aware of the looping Eagles above, dressed in their brilliant colors. A very moving and wonderful Dance of Healing, it shall serve me and others in good stead. I am always so at Peace after a Journey. A new landmark also has been reached in that I no longer react with internal churning when people are angry or disagreeing with me. I have reached that point of detachment where I view their tirade and anger with amusement and understanding..a sure sign of progress as my Shaman talents grow.

Journey 9 - Killer AND Victim

9/2/03: A very powerful Medicine Dream overnight. I was in a strange house, at night, with both doors locked tight. I was conscious of a very murderous force lurking about the neighborhood, and was very nervous about being along in this house. I was convinced the murdered/psychopath was somewhere very nearby..and I made sure the doors were locked. Suddenly, to my horror, the murderer was sitting in a chair in the next room, looking at me with a wide smile. I turned, and saw a technician who had not been there before working at some radio equipment. He turned his head, and the murdered went to work. Here’s the really remarkable part. I think I became the murderer, and I sliced through the fellow’s right side while he had turned his back to me. I then immediately BECAME the victim, feeling the intense awfulness of those few seconds of consciousness when you see your body split and you feel horrid pain. I then sensed myself dying, as the victim this time, and freeing myself from my Robe. As I looked around afterward, I saw three tiny black Spirit entities hovering around. They were quite small. I realized that the “demons” that cause people to commit horrid acts are quite small and not all that powerful. But if they are many, they can overwhelm the person. This is why we must pray and strengthen our Spirit Bodies everyday. I thought about this dream all day, and there are obvious interpretations. I’m still afraid of a violent death? Am I not now, now that I have seen the dark entities swirling near me as I left my Robe? Evil apparently comes in small packets versus the large purple Spirit figures I saw the last time I journeyed. This was a very unsettling dream, and it affected my entire day. I believe the Spirits are asking me to deal with the whole issue of Death and Violence next..both of which I have to conquer to advance as a Shaman. It was fascinating to see myself as my own killer, and then the Victim as well.

Journey 8 - Underground Bear

8/22: Self-drummed (versus CD) Journey introduces me to Underground Bear, the
Power Animal, who brings me a cure for the burning in my right-stomach area!
The Journey went like this: I went back to the yard where I had met the
Power Animal, and looked to the edge of the property to the left of where my
van was. There were some trees and low shrub there, and it wasn’t hard for
me to find a small opening in the ground to go down through. As I entered
the tunnel, Two Feathers and Crosses in Front were there. The tunnel was
similar to all my tunnels, with little gold lights therein. As we emerged
into the other side, for the first time it was dark! There were tiny
droplets of glowing purple mist hanging in the air, which I assumed from
their color were drops of Spirit Power, or what is called Mana. I saw the
droplets beginning to collect on our clothing and skin like little drops of
rain. I was then led to a fire made completely of a deep purple flame. I
picked up one of the purple sticks with the purple flame and honored the 7
Directions with it, assuming the flame was also made of Spirit Mana. Then,
Two Feathers and Crosses told me to go down through the center of the Fire,
which I did. Once underground, I could see clearly. Roots and little bulbs
of plants were all sticking down from the "ceiling", as if the dirt was
transparent. They were all glowing also, with different colors, such as
bright greens and reds. Suddenly my Power Animal arrived. He put me on his
back and gave me a short ride through the roots. We then stopped and
embraced with a long and warm hug. He told me his name was Underground
Bear. He is the one who helps Bear find the roots he needs for healing! So
he IS a companion to the Bear, as seen in my Dream. But now this capability
to find healing roots and plants was being given to me! Underground then
led me to a set of yellow potatoes glowing in the dark. I went very near to
the potatoes, and one sliced itself into thin slices, telling me I should be
eating a thin slice or two of raw potato every day for the burning near my
stomach. We then took another ride, and I saw the roots now also had
glowing purple drops on them. It occurred to me that Chipmunks and worms
must also be able to see through the dirt like this, something man has never
assumed or known. I hugged Underground again and he licked my neck. I
thanked him for his tour and help. He took me back to the fire through the
glowing roots. I came back up through the Fire to Two Feathers and Crosses,
who were now totally "soaked" in the purple light. I looked, and so was I!
The Fire and Droplets were tools to build Auras/Spirit Bodies!! I thanked
my Helpers and we all headed back to the surface like we came. As I came
back into my room, I noticed that I was hardly breathing. I clocked my
breath rate at maybe 4 breaths a minute. My heart rate was down in the low
60s. I had read that shamanic trips result in a much lowered metabolism
while one is "gone", and so it is. I went out later and a red Dragonfly
came near me all the way down the stairs, sort of buzzing me. Later still,
I pulled the Dragonfly Card!

Journey 7 - Westu Waja Wasaji

On my latest Shamanic Journey late last week, I asked if I should continue
with Weatherlook. A Peace Eagle guided me to a very wealthy mansion on a
beach..but it was totally empty of family and feeling. I was alone. The
Eagle then summoned me to the window and drove me into the sand, from where
I went out to a Tipi of purple Light. Inside this Tipi sat the local
Universe..stars and the like. To my right, on a large stone ledge sticking
out into Space, sat my Shaman trainer, Eagle Claw, to whom I went. He
showed me how to gather rainbow beams from every single star about us and
focus them into my body. With this incredible light energy pouring into me
from all directions, he yelled. "Heal someone!" My mind raced and I finally
picked a very ill person I know to send this healing light to. He then gave
me a phrase made up of words from different languages, which is my Power
Phrase. Anytime I utter it, this rainbow healing power is available to me,
and Eagle Claw will be there. I have researched the phrase since on the
Net, and a loose translation is, "he, brave and strong, who speaks from the
head, is a being from a different dimension." I have had no exposure to
these words whatsoever (one is Malaysian, one from Australia). But I WILL
use this phrase to heal. Upon returning to the mansion at the end of my
journey, it turned to dust. I am obviously meant to be a healer, not a
wealth-accumulator.

Journey 6a - Real Body State

8/12/03: Around 6:15 or so I had a break, so I decided to take a quick Journey before my wife and I went shopping. I Smudged, and Rattled to the 7 Directions, this time attaching my Spirit Feather. I then drummed using my own Drum, since I knew this had to be quick. As I began drumming, it came to me to enter the Spirit Prayer Lodge I've sensed out back. I asked my Snake Guide to meet me by the edge of the lawn..and she did. The Prayer Lodge now stood before us as a Tipi of Light. As we moved toward it together, we were suddenly moving along at ground level. I assumed I had taken on a Snake shape. We went into the Lodge by crawling thyrough a crack at the base of the "light" fabric covering the Tipi. First sight inside was the Plain of Tipis I saw in my last Journey, but soon the Lodge became a normal Tipi. Crosses, my Snake Guide, was at my right, and my Guardian, Two Feathers, appeared on my left. The Tipi then went completely black. Suddenly before me was a multi-faceted Crystal Sphere, looking a bit like a disco dance mobile. But it was a real Crystal, and as I drew near I saw that each facet had a scene from Earth on it. The Sphere quickly turned to present an orange Tunnel on its side. I entered through this Tunnel into a small, red-ornage area where the Prayer Dwellers were sitting. They passed me a Pipe..mine! I took a Smoke and then left my body. Looking at it (I was in front and to the right of it), I saw it was totally unanimated. It was hunched over and looking very battered and pasty, with the skin having the appearance of peeling wallpaper. I knew this was the real state of my body. I went back into it, and asked for of felt more tinkering going on to strengthen me. I then asked for the Pipe back and Smoked one more puff for Health, went out the Tunnel and back into the Tipi. The Sphere then transformed into a more traditional Crystal, with a long point. This means I have to purchase such a Crystal to help heal myself, one just like it if possible. I then began the trip back, thanking Two Feathers and Crosses. As I came back to my bedroom, I again felt altered. I drummed rapidly to bring myself back completely. A rapid Journey like this is quite comon among advanced practioners, and I am humbled I could do it. Quite the message, too. My body needs help..

Journey 6 - First View of Two Feathers/Past Life - Altered!

8/8/03: I took my first bona-fide journey using my Shamanic Drumming CD. I had been asked to journey to the Lower World by Chipmunks and a Woodchuck, and I picked the tiny hole in the tree I saw the day before as my entry. I rattled to the 7 directions and smudged before turning on the CD, and during the opening song I went down into the hole and walked among the roués of the tree, all bespeckled in tiny gold lights. I kept me reason for the visit firmly in mid..which was, you folks asked me to visit, so please show me what it is you want me to see. I expected to see Crosses, my Snake guide. But as I entered a large wooded area, there was no Crosses. Instead, after a few minutes, I found my longtime Spirit Guardian Two Feathers. She did not look anything like the picture on my wall that represents her (no surprise there, eh?), but she was very friendly, had a round, brown face with smaller eyes and black hair, and a tight smile. She looked at me with that smile one gets when you say, so you have finally come! She took me hand and we hugged. Suddenly, we were flying hand in hand, she on my right, through the trees before us and into this valley/plain/dry river bed. On this valley were situated many Tipis, all the same size, all beautifully made and perfect, all with little designs or lights at the top. I figured this was “the” or “a” Spirit Camp, probably the one I came from. So to this point I had met Two Feathers and seen my former Camp prior to coming to this life..no WONDER they wanted me to visit to see what they had to show me! We passed an all black Tipi very closely, and suddenly were seated inside one. I can’t be sure if we went into the black one or not. While Two Feathers and I sat in this Tipi, a fire erupted in its center. These erupting Fires have been a constant theme in recent dreams and visions, and are no doubt related to my need for more energy. We sat and both chewed on this herb that Two Feathers had. We then placed the chewed herb in the top of a small Buffalo Skull in front of me. This Skull suddenly began to glow with a blue light. I placed my hands on it, and it suddenly lifted me up into the air. Within seconds, I was at the apex of a Tipi of light, the Skull and I at the top. As I looked down into the light, it became a move screen or sorts. On it, I saw scenes of Native life, including a Hunter on a Horse. I also saw myself clearly as a young boy, placing with my toy helicopter launcher outside my house ineastern MA as I actually did as a child. This time, however, I could see a huge dark Mass hovering over me..the Dark Force that trailed me in my youth, pulling me downstairs as related in an earlier journal. I beat this Force in my Shamanic Dream within the past year. I also saw my Shadow Self..quite an honor, but did not see any more than the shape. After I land back in the Tipi, Two Feathers feeds me the Herb out of the Skull..and suddenly I see myself as a young Eaglet in a nest on the side of a tree being fed by a Mother Eagle. At one point she brought her yellow eye within an inch of my eye and stared at me. So I was being fed by both Two Feathers and the Eagle simultaneously. I then shifted again and briefly saw my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, standing before me..”Ah, there you are, I thought”..but she rapidly turned into a Horse, and I saw several Horse Faces melding before me, all very clear with very distinct eyes. I have a note that reads something like “albes” or “allnes” but I can’t interpret my own writing! :) At this point, I fell into a deeper level of semi-unconsciousness. I recall there were images running through this time, but I really don’t remember any of them. But what was quite startling to me is that I snapped back into consciousness exactly 1-2 seconds before the Journey Drumming ended! Somehow, I knew it was coming. Perhaps I had gone ahead in time and then come back to that moment. As the return drumming played, I stumbled back through my woods and tunnel and out of the tree, but I was so altered that I don’t know if I did it very well. I did thank my guides. I lay there and realized that I had been changed in an indescribable way. I had a huge amount of energy in my navel area, where the connective chakra is. I was sizzling with feeling there. And I remember feeling as if I had been taken apart and put back together again. I felt as if I had been genetically altered. I was no longer the same person. Whatever had happened while I was down deep, it had changed me in a significant way, and forever. It was a good change, that’s all I knew. I later described it to my friend A as feeling like I had come back to life from being dead..but again, in a very satisfying and fulfilling way. I felt very much more aware of everything. As I rose and sat on the side of the bed, I realized there were a huge bunch of crows sitting outside, singing. A few minutes later, as I walked upstairs to say hello to my wife, a bunch of Pipe Protection Birds flew from across the street an over the house/my head!

Journey 5 - First Upper World Experience

I decided before sleeping to try to journey to the Upper World, so I smudged and breathed, then took my drum. I asked the Falcon from Niagara Falls to take me. At first we met in this tree out back, and then I rode up on his back. We headed for the Cathedral Ledge in North Conway to look for the opening upward. We went into the woods up there and then he launched me up this tunnel of gossamer light threads. As I went up, I kept grounding, either back to Earth or two the Under World. So I came back out and we tried again. This time we decided to try rising up the rainbow over the Horseshoe Falls. This worked, for I emerged from the rainbow path into many different realities. Again I saw my Spirit Guide Eagle Claw, but assumed he was there by mistake..as I write this, I realize he may have been there to help me. But my goal was merely to visit this world, so he was not there for long. I saw many different sights, many of which I have forgotten, but I did see a bright green ball made of luminescent points of green light that I went into to behold a beautiful forest, embedded within which was a blue tipi of air/light that I visited. Once inside I felt I had been there before. The insides were made of stars, and at one point I was walking across a Star Universe. Eventually, all turned into this white cloud, and in the center was a bird shaped head with those ebony eyes, within which several human face shapes formed and left. I assumed this was my guide in the Upper World. I did not make contact, but felt at home. As I say, there were other sights I saw, but have left behind. Several times the images were so striking it caused me to stop drumming, so I started right up again. At one point I actually saw things being formed out of mist. Several church-like buildings formed well below me as I floated in clouds, which parted just enough for me to see the little white squares come into existence. I also watched a Collie-like dog come into being, at least the upper half, at it was an iridescent gold and white as it formed. So I knew I was in the place where things are created from, the Upper World. These sights were as I recall the only ones that let me know this for sure. I journeyed back through the rainbow to Niagara, to Cathedral, to the bedroom, thanking the Falcon for his help. As I write this I am still VERY tired..too tired to really enjoy what I have seen. The journey surprised me in that it took a half hour..it didn’t seem that long.

Journey 4 - Meeting Eagle Claw

7/30: Took a journey to try to meet my Spirit Shaman Trainer, whose presence I've felt in the past few days. I went through the tunnel, but Crosses did not meet me until I got out into the open at the end of the tunnel. I knew this could happen so did not panic..the benefits of reading a lot first. At first, this area seemed forested, but it quickly turned into a desert, very bright but not hot. Crosses (my Snake guide) appeared suddenly by my side, then wrapped around me to give me oneness with all things/energies. We became one, and then zoomed across the desert to a very thickly dressed Native Chief. I got very close to his face and looked into his eyes, that were dark like opals..very similar to Crosses's eyes. His smile told me to look down and I saw a large Eagle Claw hanging on his chest. So that is his name, Eagle Claw. I then thanked him with offerings of tobacco, sage, sweet grass and a Sacred Pipe. I asked him to continue to teach me, guide me, and empower me. I was VERY grateful for quite a while, asking for help and guidance. Then, as I turned to leave, he "asked" me back (no words are spoken out loud) and embraced me. Suddenly, Crosses and I were floating in space. We went by stars of different colors and ended up over Earth. As I think back on this part, I seem to think I was not in what we call outer space, but more an Inner space, perhaps at the Atom Level. The “stars” were not brilliant, but tame, with mute surfaces. So that would imply that the Earth may be a single molecule in an other Existence, a teeny piece of something unseen and much bigger. If so, our destructive practices could result in this molecule being removed from the body as cancerous. Another reason to clean up our act. In fact, I was not allowed to go down to the Earth until I noticed a thick brown layer of air covering the surface. That is apparently all the damage we have done to Mother Earth. I prayed I could help alleviate that damage. We then sank quickly back into the tunnel (which is lined in tiny golden sparks of light and has a gorgeous smell of thousands of flowers and plants) and came back up into the entrance forest. I then walked back to my house and drummed myself back to this world. I forgot to thank Crosses as I left, but did so by going back to the entrance of the tunnel later and yelling it down. J

Journey 3 - Meeting Lower World Guide - no Drumming!

7/24/03: Hawk on route. When home, held Medicine Cards tightly to discover Power Animal to help me with my journeys. I actually went into my Power Place in an imagined forest with strong moonlight through tall, thick trees. Little People came and went as tiny dots of gold light. I walked around looking at them, and then found a small Earth opening to crawl down through. It was only wide enough for a couple of chipmunks, but I was able to fit. It was lit naturally. I met a chipmunk coming up, but it was not my power animal. Almost instantly thereafter, I met a Snake, and I knew this was my Guide. It stayed with me, and was very non-threatening. It placed its face right in front of me and I stared into its black, almost deer-like eyes as it spoke to me silently. It’s body coloring was of squares/patches of light that went on and off. I thanked it for introducing itself, as that was my only goal. I turned to crawl back up the tunnel, and my snake escorted me. I then walked from the woods I had imagined back to my yard and down stairs to where I was sitting. I then pulled a Card and got Mountain Lion again: leadership. So even without the shamanic drumming, I actually took my first trip down the tunnel to the Lower World! A VERY important event.

7/29/03: After work, I took my drum and began setting up a dance of thanks to my Snake Guide. I sensed myself dancing with my Totem as the drum went on..a celebration of oneness. Suddenly, Snake revealed its name to me. I recalled the Snake crossing in front of me on Sunday, and so its name is Crosses in Front. Crosses then allowed me to take on the pulses of the snake movement in our dance together, and I could actually feel the pulses of the energy moving across my body in waves. Then, Crosses took me up into an ancient wooded place in daylight and allowed me to slither along into a circle of Native Americans, sitting around a very sick girl. I was held up by the smiling-in-success Shaman, whom I sensed had called me to help, and then allowed to enter the Spirit world of this young girl. I recognized the Dark Force of my Shaman’s Dream, and took the Force on. I sucked the blackness into my body and dispelled it through my body and as I did so, the black power turned into sparks of gold bursting from my tail. I found myself hoping that this maiden was Janet, for I know the Dark Force has a hold on her at some level. When I was done, the Shaman set up a Pipe Smoke in celebration. I thanked Crosses so much for allowing me to be part of the healing. Crosses then led me back to the current place, my bedroom, where I reoriented myself to this Time. I then pulled a Medicine Card. I got Dolphin. The key theme of Dolphin is “Mana”, the breath of life, the vital force of the Spirit. In other words, I truly had been involved in healing another, in restoring vital energy. This was the perfect card to follow such a healing. I look forward to many adventures with Crosses, and am so grateful for its presence. I sense it is a she. Finally, I should mention that at the beginning of this particular journal, I made it my goal to visit the Spirit Camp before it was done. But I never panicked about it as I drew near then end..I knew it would happen if the Spirits wanted it. But I am mightily impressed that it actually happened. Totally honored and almost left breathless, for it was indeed a very lofty goal. Yet, events led right to it, even though I didn’t force the issue. My first journey occurred even without the drumming!! It just came upon me out of the blue!! Very humbling!

Earliest Journeys - Leaving Spirit Camp/Stone Person Melding

7/10/2003: It also occurred to me today, having read quite a bit about journeying in the past few days, that I actually already have performed at least one journey. This was when listening to the last song on Sacred Spirit 1, and I found myself lying in a field at twilight with Two Feathers whispering in my ear, “I will always be with you..I will always be with you..” I saw this as my “death” in the Spirit World on my way here.

This afternoon I performed my shamanic preparatory breathing and then took a small nap with the blue oval stone I found several years ago nestled in my hands over my navel. This is an effective way to talk with a Stone Person. The first time, I got some broken images of a corrugated wing or flap that we were holding up to investigate, but I remember nothing else. The second trip, so to speak, resulted in no images I can remember, but a most remarkable ending. My hands holding the rock were slammed onto the bed by my side, as if the Stone Person was saying, that’s it! End of talk. Right after that, I sensed myself to be inside a blue covering, and felt very still and lifeless, like I was the Stone itself. I believe I did obtain the consciousness of the Stone Person in that moment, and I felt very relaxed and stationary! Quite a lovely feeling.