Journey 56 - Granddaughter's Malady

5/28/04: The second of two Journeys, this one to see if there is anything I can and/or should do to aid in one of my progeny’s speech impediment. I was instantly swept off to a Native American Village, where a young girl dressed in Deerskin clothing with jet back hair was holding my hand. I was an adult Warrior. She led me through and past the Village, out to a Sacred Tree at the edge of a forest beyond. The little Maiden was unable to speak at all, but communicated through hand gestures and smiles. She waited below while I climbed the Tree, which had many thick branches to aid in an easy ascent. As I sat on a branch about 20 feet up, I waited for a Spirit Bird to come lead me into the Tunnel. Soon one arrives, a large, gorgeous White and Gold Hawk, unlike any we have here. The Hawk landed on a branch to my right and sat, preening and cleaning. It then leaned over and peered into my eyes with one of its. It then returned to its sitting position and extended its left claw to me, which I took. We then looked up into the sky, which had many circular entry points of various colors. Hawk took me to a pink one, and in we went. After floating through the solid pink color for a while, I came to an area where there were many golden threads around me, but I was next to an area with a burned out sections, where the gold threads had singed, black ends. I realized I was inside my progeny’s brain, looking at the slight damage that was preventing her form increasing her speaking skills as quickly as we might like. I was wondering what to do to fix it, when an aside took place: I was standing on top of a porch of a large house with an overhang, looking down a large number of steps, on a cloudy late afternoon. A man was walking down the steps and went over to a clearing next to a barn. He knelt down and touched the ground. He was somber. I felt he was visiting the grave of a young daughter. He then returned to the steps, but I could not see his face as his hat blocked it while he came toward me with head bowed. I then was snapped back to my progeny’s brain-energy strands. I decided to use Shamanic Imagining to try to fix this area. I saw the area as healed, but cannot be sure if this Healing actually took place. I know I at least left the Concept there.. I then found myself looking down into a room with along table, with a female teacher talking with a single young girl. I then quickly snapped back to the room, thanking Hawk and Maiden as I drummed back. After I wrote the notes for this Journey, I realized I had never come back down the Tunnel. So, I quickly lay down and drummed back to the Pink Area, and came back out with Hawk. When I came down from the Tree, the little Maiden gave me a big hug, and then kissed me on the cheek. She then ran back to her Village, leaving me along at the base of the Sacred Tree. I’m not sure what the scene with the Man means, or of I actually caused the healing to take place, or even who the little Maiden was. But I sense, from her hug and kiss, that I had a positive effect. The scene of the teacher with a single young girl may mean that my progeny has a way to go yet before joining normal speaking society..but I think in the end she will be fine, based on how I feel at Journey’s end. But what of the scene at the grave..a past life? A future one? Since I was in her brain at the time, I assume it was one of her memories..

Journey 55 - Azurite Stone

5/28/04: First of two Journeys today, the first to find which Stone Person would be most effective for me to use in greatly enhancing my Shamanic seeing and healing abilities. I Rattled to the 7 Directions for strength and protection, smudged the room with Sweet Grass and Sage, lit the Sacred Candle, and began my Shaman Breath exercise while repeating my goal. As I lay down to self-drum, I was off into the back yard to the Red Maple. I began climbing the trunk and noticed I had turned into a Chipmunk! I climbed into a hole in the tree, and there found my Guide Owl standing over a nest with four small Owl chicks within. He asked me to feed the little ones, so I gave each a shelled sunflower seed. As I did, each turned the color of one of the Four Directions (Red, Yellow, White and Black). Owl himself became multicolored and glowing, and off we went up the Tree Trunk. The Tunnel to the Upper World was made of millions of long purple filaments of Energy. We emerged from the Tunnel into an open area covered with thousands of small Stone People. An indescribably beautiful chorus of Sound was emanating from the Stones, as if they were communicating. It sounded like a symphony of Stone! There were several larger rocks, and Owl told me to listen, for one would call to me. Soon one did, a large Tan Stone Person, calling to “Four Hawks”, just off to my left a bit and about 80 feet away. I went over and lay down on her, and fit within her curves as if she were a chair. I felt at once very much part of her, solid and permanent, and at total rest. I remember a tingling feeling extending from below my feet right up my body as I lay in bed. As we spoke, she told me her name was Mangate [research after the Journey reveals this to be an Ojibwe Tribe word meaning, “it is roomy”], and I asked her to give me the name of the Stone Person best suited for me to See and Heal with. My mind went blank for a few seconds, and then the word “Azurite” popped up. This was my special Stone Person! I then spoke with Mangate and asked what should occur if I cannot find this Stone in the Physical World. She said she would place a Spirit version of the Stone in the “brain” of my Luminous Body, next to my Visual Cortex. It is now there. I then saw several other Luminous Bodies moving toward the little Stone People on the ground. They would move into the Stone and disappear. I asked Mangate what they were doing. She told me each Stone Person was assigned to a specific Life Energy, recording each lifetime along the Sacred Path of each “person.” She told me mine was nearby, the glowing white one. She asked if I would like to visit and see some of my past lives as well as a future one. I said yes, and found myself walking over to the glowing White Stone. The Stone became quite large (I shrank?) and in I went. It was all white light within, and I saw my current body as well as the two bodies I used in the past as a Shaman. The next future life for me will be as a large, dinosaur-like bird, with a large head and wings. It will be the equivalent of our Eagle in the world in which I exist now. After that, I am to assume another humanoid form, although unlike this one. I will be a tan/flesh color, small and hunched over, with legs that are reversed from my currents ones (knees are backward). My head will be flattened, with no hair. Eyes will be large and golden. My world will have a light green sky, and the surface will have Tree-like trunks sticking out of the ground, but with no leaves. Instead, the “air” is provided by direct breathing of both the “Trees” and the Stones through holes within them. The “water” will not be liquid, but like a light jelly. It melts in ones mouth as one consumes it. I will be a Shaman in this world, also. This tells me not to expect to perfect my Walk in this Life, but I will certainly go as far as I can. I flew back through the Tunnel thanking Mangate and Owl. When we arrive back in the Tree hole, the four colored Owl-lets merged into my one Owl, whom I thanked! I shall have to go buy some Azurite, which is a common stone with a copper base. A slight chemical change turns Azurite to Malachite.

Journey 54 - Shamanic Presence Strengthening

5/26/04: A Journey to strengthen my Shamanic presence. And a most unusual one. After rattling and smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I put on the drumming CD and breathed Shamanically while repeating my goal. Even before I lay down, I found myself standing at a window with light oak wood all around, including the window frame and countertop. I was looking through clear glass at my Owl Guide in the thickly-leaved Tree Branches just outside the window. The window then split into several facets, projecting an equal number of owls, and then into many tiny facets, yielding many tiny Owls. I then ran down the steps of an open two-story living area, apparently in a house in Scandinavia somewhere. It seemed as if I were not me in this Journey. If I was, I was in a different life circumstance. I ran out to the base of the tree and began to climb it, going up as if I had the claws of a cat. When I got to the first main branch, there was a Muskrat sitting there, apparently warning me off from moving out onto the branch. I went up to the second branch and saw Owl. We sat, and I asked why the Muskrat was looking so challenging. Owl just smiled and said I would need him on this cleansing. Owl and I then began moving up a Tunnel in the Sky chock full of Golden Mana, like we were bathing in it. From here on out, I was basically dreaming small dream-lets, none of which I can really remember. It was as if any work being done was occurring behind the scenes. There was no direct involvement with me. I do recall coughing awake from one of the dreams, and at that time found myself at the very edge of the stream of gold, in outer space above the atmosphere. There were only small, occasional particles of gold at that time. As I went back down the Tunnel, though, I found the walls strewn with red and pink Roses. I recall thinking to myself, “a rose by any other name is still a rose.” I then returned to the room and thanked Owl and Muskrat. I went through the entire CD of 20 minutes, and this is all I can recall..about 4 minutes worth. Whatever else was done occurred behind the scenes. Muskrats live in water and have webbed feet, living in cone-shaped burrows next to rivers. They are smaller than Beaver but come from the same family. The only entrance is through the water. They eat vegetation and occasional shell-fish. Their fur is highly prized. They have litters of 6, 2-3 times a year, and have one family per burrow. Obviously, emotional issues rule this description, with the presence of water. Also very interesting is that they live in Tipi-shaped burrows. Whatever changes were made in me, the went straight to the emotional and Native American levels..

Journey 53 - Mom's Friend is Very Sick

5/21: Ceremony to help my mom’s friend, who is ridden with cancer. First, I smudged Woman in a Grass Dress with Sage. Then, I lit the Sacred Candle and placed it at the feet of the Woman, as I usually do when calling on her assistance. I then used my Amazon Rattle to open Sacred Space around her and me. I then took my Owl and Eagle Feathers and held one in each hand, to each side of Woman, facing her. I then asked her to journey to the friend and minister to her. She took me along! First, Woman called in a Cheetah to begin eating the cancer. I saw it move into the friend’s Luminous Body and begin consuming the disease. Then, Woman went to each Chakra and used her left hand to sweep counterclockwise through one after the other, removing the dark energies. When she flung the energy away from her hand, it turned into rainbow speckles! She spent extra time on the Throat and Sacral Chakras. After the cleansing, she re-spun all the Chakras clockwise. They returned to their normal color, albeit rather small in size. Cheetah continued to move through the Luminous zone, eating. Then, Woman closed the Sacred Space down into a tight cocoon over the friend, but left it there, like a Blanket of Energy. This, she said, was to keep the cleansing and the Cheetah in place. We then came back to the room. I thanked Woman and returned the Feather to the Pipe altar, and put the Candle out after thanking the Flame of Life.

Journey 52 - Past Relationship Healing

5/21: A quick Journey this morning to investigate any unresolved tensions arising from my early years, in terms specifically, of opposite-sex relations wounding. I had a real rocky time trying to date in college. As a Shaman, one must resolve all issues from the Past before being able to be really effective dealing with others’ past woundings. I met with my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, and we went down into a wide, brown tunnel. I recall that for some reason I turned a bright, organic pink. As we went down, about halfway to the other side, I saw a side tunnel to my right. Within were many humans, engaged in what we call today casual, or recreational, sex. They all seemed so devoid of emotion, and it was actually quite sad to see all that intense energy being expended selfishly. We then moved on, and down to the Tunnel Exit. As we emerged, to my left was a gorgeous, wooded glade, full of green and sunlight and aromas of flowers. To my right was a small log-cabin shack, resembling a train station, sitting in the mid afternoon sun. We went in there first. A man was attending to a bunch of balls of yarn suspended on hanging rollers on a wall. He explained to me that each ball represented the on-going accumulation of each experience within a person’s life. My life was the first ball he brought me to. As we unraveled the ball, the yard was made of discreet sections, each a different hue. Each hue represented an event in my life, and the yarn went well back into my past. I fingered through the sections dealing with that time in my life, pulling smoothly along the cord. He explained that there was no good to be served by snipping any sections out, but that nothing that had occurred in that period had caused any damage to me or anyone else. I then started looking at some of the other balls, but decided against unraveling them, given the insight I’d just been given. I thanked the man and walked back out. Crosses took me into the Glade, and said this was the Garden where all life procreates in the natural way. No recreational sex here, just existence as it was meant to be. He suggested I lie down and nap in this Glade, to drink in its positive energies. I did so. I saw Rabbits, Birds, and other Animals. All were living in complete peace and within the Great Spirit’s Order. It was extremely relaxing to be there, and I felt my Luminous Body being cleansed completely. I liken this Glade to the Jewish Garden of Eden, except we can still be welcomed there! After my time there, we came back up the Tunnel, and as we did I thanked my Snake Guide and the Man in the Yarn Shop. For the rest of the day I felt so completely relaxed I could have napped at any time. Instead, I forced myself out and took my mom to lunch and for a walk. She was thrilled, and so was I. This was an interesting Journey, in that I got to visit the Garden of Life..and what was so striking is how very much it looks just like this dimension’s Mother Earth.

Journey 51 - Wall of Evil

5/20/04: A Journey to discover the source of the “Wall of Evil” sensed by one of my pastor’s friends in the riverside woods along the parking lot of the church. I lit the Sacred Candle and smudged, then used the Drum CD to Journey. This was going to be a different experience right from the start. Instead of the usual beginning where I await my Guide in the back yard, I was instantly transported to the woods themselves, Guide-less. So I waited there, expecting my Owl Guide to arrive and take me to the Upper World. Owl showed up, all right, but had deep red eyes! My sense of foreboding was heightened as he came near me with extended claws, ready to sink them into my upper torso. I quickly realized this was not my Guide, and I called in protection using my Prayer Chant given me by Eagle Claw, who often takes an Owl form at first. Surrounded now by a strong Rainbow Aura, I stood and wondered. I was confused. This type of start had never occurred before. I was never even given the chance to tunnel to the Upper World. (As I write this after the Journey, I sense this was my first Journey in which I was drawn into the Middle Word, a dangerous place to go. Back to the Journey.) Shortly after I protected myself (another aside..this is the second straight Journey where I have had to surround myself with Rainbow Energy..yesterday’s was a test by Black Panther, no doubt in preparation for today’s real thing), my Seer Senses All appeared and sat a short distance away. She was somber. The area itself was also different that it looks today, much more wooded with high grasses, and the river much less intrusive. Owl remained fixed in his Tree. I told Senses All I was confused by this unusual sequence of events. And why was Owl so angry, I asked. She told me that the Owl Medicine that was once strongly honored here by the indigenous peoples (they used Owl to heal, and wore Owl Feathers in ceremony) had been dishonored when they were driven off by the peoples who were steeped in Christian Faith. The Sacred space of Owl Medicine, so to speak, had never been properly closed. The sense I got was that the Natives were forced to leave in a hurry. There was now a clash between the energies of the fresh and remnant disciplines. At this point, Senses froze..time seemed to stand still. Again I looked around in a heightened sense of nervous wonder. Sensing myself alone and still in a dangerous place, I returned my consciousness to my feet and made sure my Aural energy was firmly grounded to Mother Earth. I returned to the scene and asked Senses All what could be done. I then was told that Anne should collect any Owl images/totems she has in her house and bring them to her Altar. I was then shown the Feather on my Medicine Bundle I found a few years ago (to this day I’m not sure if it is a Hawk or Owl Feather). I saw this Feather moving to my pastor’s Altar and placing itself in her little cup. This told me the Feather was indeed from an Owl, and the Healing Spirit of the Feather was being sent to her to help her deal with this issue. I also saw her standing in the parking lot near those woods, burning a piece of paper with an Owl’s image on it. Another image that appeared showed her burning a small candle in front of an Owl’s picture. These images did not appear in a quick string, but came separately over a short time, with moments in the woods for pondering in between. I then was back with Senses All, and I saw a very large Alligator moving toward me. He stopped just short of me. I again wondered if this was an attack, but he was not baring his teeth. It was almost as if he were receiving instructions from me. I then saw him move up an ancient street that struck me as being the Via Dolorosa, the path Christ took with his Cross. Alligator disappeared and after a short time came back. The anger of the conflicting disciplines seemed to have been resolved by his action. Owl’s eyes had gone back to normal, and my sense of foreboding was gone. Suddenly, I was standing at the edge of a very steep and jagged rock cliff, looking down into a very deep River Valley. I stepped over the edge, and my Power Animal Eagle immediately flew over and grabbed me, bringing me back to the side. I was then back with Senses All. I asked which action my pastor should take. It appeared as if Alligator had already taken care of the Medicine conflict. Senses All told me my pastor was very spiritual and beyond the constraints of Christian-only mindset. Sense said she should still honor the Owl Medicine in one of the ways shown earlier, thereby asking in Prayer for the Owl Medicine to flow back to those who currently use it and need it. I then thanked Senses All, Alligator and Owl for their Guidance, and returned to the room.

The fact I was trained yesterday in establishing instant protection for myself, and then had to use that training for real today in my first-ever Journey to the more dangerous Middle World, shows me the Spirits truly know what they are doing, looking ahead in “time”..and that I have been granted access to deeper and more challenging Spirit realms due to my steady advances in my Shamanic training. Very humbling..and exciting.

Journey 50 - Helplessness Stalking

5/19/04: A Journey to see what primal Fear stalks me..a recent Dream found me back in my old house, still full of dread at some impending dire event about to befall me. I first rattled to the 4 Directions and Father Sky/Mother Earth for help and protection. I smudged the room, lit a new Sacred Candle with purple trim outside the glass bought last weekend in Canada, and began concentrating on my goal: let me meet this Fear and learn to use it in a positive way. As I lay down and began the Journey rhythm, I sensed Crosses in Front arriving in the room. He was quite the large Snake this time, and he immediately entered my body through the Kundalini Channel of the Base Chakra and took up position within me. I became skeletal as all my flesh and innards became invisible. This was a new one.. We then went out into the back yard with Crosses head sticking out of my navel. The yard was totally dark, with form barely discernible. We approached a swirling and slimy black hole in the ground at the forest’s edge. I asked that Black Panther accompany us as well, and she showed up within seconds. She brought her face very close to mine and peered into my eyes. She bared her teeth as if in anger. I held her paw and felt the sharpness of her fangs. She then reared up onto her hind legs as if to strike me. I quickly called in the Sky Powers, turning the Sky a lighter blue with stars and calling down columns of Rainbow Light to surround me. Seeing my protection in place, Panther approved of my Shaman-like self-defense efforts and quickly turned herself into a Native Maiden with jet black hair and bright, cat-like eyes, and a much more friendly disposition. :) We then went down the Tunnel together. We entered a dark glade and sat in a rock. I can see and hear the Stalking Force moving through and disturbing large grasses and bushes, never actually seeing the Force itself. But I can tell by my feelings that this IS the Force that has visited me over the years. Panther Maiden holds my hand as the Force moves in behind me and stops. She tells me it will never confront me directly. I must close my eyes and use the Visual Cortex method to see its energy. So, I study the images crossing my Cortex for a while. In several cascading images, I see one person trying to control another, or trying to control an object, and so forth. I realize this Force is a Fear of Loss of Control. It is Helplessness! That has been what has been stalking me. Those recent events that have unsettled me most: the beheading of Nick Berg, the 9-11 crashes..and the like..all involved going to physical death totally out of control. Even the early attacks of my youth, being pulled out of bed and down the stairs by my feet, involved helplessness. I then sped up the drumming to focus harder. I started to see green balls of light seeming to come out of my head and move away, and as they did so I would see images of skeletal faces. This happened at least 4 times, with each face different but vivid in detail and traced in white light amidst the green ball. Each ball went further out until swallowed up in a bright purple field, the color of highest spirituality. Eventually the images stopped emerging, leaving only the purple field, and I knew the cleansing was done. I then asked Panther Maiden how I was to use this knowledge..how can I take total helplessness and make it a Force for Good? She told me that the moments of physical, mental and emotional powerlessness were the very best times for becoming totally power-FUL as a Shaman. It is when there is no power in the other realms that Spirit is most in control. She said from now on to take those moments of helplessness and become the strong Shaman of my Destiny. Spirit supercedes all other realms..the key was to recognize this and use it for Good when all else was out of control. I then drummed back with my Guides, thanked them and grounded back into my room. As I type this, I now wonder if the skeletal faces I saw leaving me were my own faces of the fear of knowing that death was coming and I was helpless to prevent it! :) THat's where the joy derives!

Journey 49 - Be True to Yourself

5/4: A Journey in response to an inspiration I received in watching an Osprey dive into a pond after a meal. I’d been meditating earlier in the day on the concept that all things that exist were first thoughts in the mind of the Great Spirit, and that all things must therefore be totally true to themselves to fully honor the forming thought of Life’s Provider. Only humans fail in this. I felt I was being asked to seek out a message from the Spirit Camp in the same way the Osprey sought its prey. So after smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I took off, self-drumming. I was out in the back yard, and the entire world took on a violet and yellow hue. Owl arrived in three colors: Red, Green and Blue. Most of the Chakra colors were therefore present..only Orange and Purple (Sacral and Third-Eye) were absent. We sat in the Red Maple, huddling close together, as the leaves around us grew in very rapid fashion to full length. A sign that my healing will be finished by the time full bloom arrives? There then appeared a large pink dot in the Sky. We flew up into this Dot and took the Tunnel to the Upper World. At first, the Tunnel was wide, and I could see scenes of Native Life passing by me in the pink walls. Then the Tunnel narrowed and it felt as if we were traveling through an artery of the body (past life, present life). We emerged into a dark region with small brown balls suspended above us as far as one could see. We landed on the steel framework of a skyscraper, but I was not afraid of our great height. Looking inward, I saw a deep purple floor made only of light, with Eagle sitting toward the opposite corner. Eagle told me that indeed I must be true to myself, to my true calling (which is, of course, Shaman). Eagle then escorted me into a garden beyond this room where a bowl on a pedestal awaited. Eagle told me to prick the ends of my fingers each with the sharp quill end of one of his Feathers. I did so, and a small ball of blood formed on each. He then took me to the Bowl, within which was a deep purple fluid. He told me this was liquid Spirit, and I was to place my fingers within it. I did, and within seconds my fingertips were healed. Eagle told me, remember this and do it often. This was a new ritual for me to cleanse myself of all types of wounds, no doubt centered mainly in my Sacral Chakra, for which the color was missing at the start. Then, Senses All arrived and began building the pathway from my Third Eye Chakra to my Visual Cortex with her hands, to help generate this ability to see energy directly (recall this the other color missing at the start). I could feel intense energies in the front of my head as she did this. Being very tired, I was zoning out as she did this. So, I then thanked all my Guides, and returned to the room to ground myself.