Journey 87 First Visit with Astral Figure

8/31/04: A Journey to see who was trying to contact me during a recent Dream I had in response to inviting three Spirits of departed family or friends to contact me if they so desired. In that Dream, a large, yellow, short-haired Dog came up to me and allowed me to pat his head while staring at me. Later, there was a floating Skull and Doll’s Head staring at me from a River next to a House I was in. I Rattled, Smudged and lit the Sacred Candle. As I was sitting and breathing down to Shamanic level, I was concentrating on my goals, and saw Owl appear to me, dressed in a black cape with tufts of red on each shoulder, reminiscent of a Red-winged Blackbird. He drew me up into a Tree that was replete with Fall-colored leaves. As we sat there, I saw a very large Whirlpool in the Sky off to my left-center, composed of swirling blue Clouds. In the center was a small ball of intense Light. We headed for that ball, and as we entered I realized we were in the Tunnel that the Near-Death experience shows to so many: the Tunnel of light. I saw dark human figures walking slowly around as we went through this Tunnel, but none stopped to talk to us and their features were not apparent at all. I felt a strange privilege to be in this Sacred Tunnel, and yet not being among the dying myself. The passage of the figures was strangely non-emotional, on everyone’s part..it just WAS. We then emerged from this Tunnel onto a Park Bench in a city setting, with the road curving off to my left. Owl and I saw and waited. My whole approach was not to try to guess who it was that was contacting me..I wanted that person to reveal it himself. Owl moved up into a Tree to my right. Then, I saw a dark figure walking down the street toward me. His face was so misshapen and bloodied that I could not recognize who it was. Immediately, the yellow Dog of my Dream came lumbering up to me and sat by my feet. I looked down, and as the Dog stared at me, it became vicious. The figure stopped in front of me and its yellow eyes were ablaze with anger. The whole scene then went dark except for those eyes, and Owl immediately stepped in to re-inforce my Aura. I could see myself now sitting within the protective shell of its rainbow boundary, looking beyond into the darkness at this face. Soon, though, the anger turned to sorrow, and some tears escaped one of the eyes. The surrounding lightened up a bit, becoming like a very early dawn, with just enough light to see shapes again. I thought the shape was that of the boy who had commited suicide, but it was too dark to be positive. At this point I decided to disengage from seeking the name anymore, and waited for this person to reveal himself to me, if that was his desire. As I did so, I slipped into the deeper Theta State, and only have a few images to relate. The first two came very early..I saw a female’s right side profile, and she was whispering the number “22.” At some point I got the feeling that the figure I had seen had a real problem with his feminine side..as if he had rejected that part of himself so violently that he had to end his life. Then I saw a tongue being yanked out of a mouth by someone trying to grab it from its roots..but the person did not succeed. The final remembrances come later, toward the end, when I came back to the Alpha State long enough to realize I was in the presence of this person, right there in the room. This was his second visit, as he had been there the night of my Dream as well. I did nothing, and he did nothing..I was just aware of his being there. The final occurrence was when I came to realize that I felt like I was floating in mid air, totally unattached to anything, as if I were a balloon or a molecule of water. I remember thinking how strange that felt, and that I needed to reground myself. I also remember calling to mind the images of the Skull and Doll, to see if that would trigger any further insights, but they did not, as far as I can recall. As the Journey ended with the Call Back, I came back to the room and thanked Owl..feeling as if I had not accomplished what I had set out to do. That I might have failed..but I reminded myself that was the Spirits release to us is all we need to know..and my feelings were the result of my own faulty expectations. Also, often what has to happen and to be known occurs when in the Theta State, which up until and including now I have had trouble bringing info back from..and for all I know I was with this person and provided the help needed. I somehow feel that the presence I felt, followed later by my floating in air, may signify that this person took some Sacred Energy through me, in particular, grounding Energy..and got what he had come for. As to who it was: I sense it was the suicide, but feel it may also have been my nephew..but it was my wife's Dad.

Of significance is the Robe Owl took on at the beginning..that of the Red-winged Blackbird. Here is some of what Ted Andrews says about that Winged One: This bird is connected to the Dark Mother and the primal feminine energies (recall the female whispering “22” and my feeling there was an issue with femininity). Redwingeds have three colors, actually. Black (Dark Mother), red (Mars), and Yellow (sign of Cancer). Redwinged is a summer bird, and returns to the womb of life in winter (a reference to suicide?) in order to re-emerge the following summer. Blackbirds nest very close to water..again, a sign of the Feminine. Finally, they nest on cattails, which primarily help convert water areas to landed areas, a more grounded state. Eaten, it is like a flour..and NAs used the juices for tooth-aches.

Finally, after typing this, I went outside for a review of the Land, and a Blackbird flew out from the Red Maple and away to the North. As I came into the porch, I looked at the Sun, lowering in the west, and a very large and bright Cloud Person was just below it, in the perfect shape of the left side of a large Dog lying on its legs with its head up, staring straight ahead..in a resting and relaxed pose. Before it were several smaller bright Cloud People, blobs really, one of which looked like a Hummingbird, the Bird of the North into which the Blackbird had flown. So perhaps my intervention allowed my Spirit Helpers to accomplish some good after all. I know it did.

A few hours on and I have a few more thoughts. This Journey has had a profound effect on me so far. I feel very spent, and can’t help thinking about it all over and over. A few more realizations have come. All the Spirits in the Tunnel were walking in the opposite direction to Owl’s and my progress..so we were headed into the Astral Plane, not the Beyond. The Skull and Doll may well represent the suicide and his unborn..there may be an issue there. Finally, I hope this person did not take a part of MY Spirit Robe..and instead took what was available through me. And I also came to think perhaps this person was a different suicide, an older man.. No way of knowing, yet. But it was a very expending Journey, and certainly a deeper and less obvious one. I have a sense of unease that I must have picked up from this person..I always have been an empathy of sorts.