The Epiphany

Here is a record of the seminal events leading up to my realization I was being called into Shamanism. From 2001, a few summaries of the notes I wrote in my Journal, including my Epiphany.

“10/3/01: I had a most powerful Dream. A very large Golden Eagle (10 times bigger than normal) was about 200 feet away, 10 feet off the ground, trying to fly up a street. It was meeting great resistance from very strong winds. It finally landed on the street and gathered one of its little one’s beneath it. The Dream ended. My interpretation. The large Eagle is the Great Spirit, trying to save us, the little Eagle, from very dangerous times.” Since then I have considered that this Dream may have signalled my Power Animal, who is Eagle, alerting me, the Little One, of my impending Calling.

Now on to 10/6/01: “This morning I was rewarded with my second Power Animal Dream in 4 days. I saw four Hawks with gray Feathers flying in a single file, in formation. That was all...they were headed left to right, slightly downhill. Hawk is my primary Pipe Totem, and I feel I am called on to Smoke the Pipe 4 times in the near future, for Peace.

(And later that same day): OK, here’s what I have instinctively come to. I’m to Smoke the Pipe 4 (Sacred Number) times for World Peace and Understanding. But between the 4 Smokes, in an unprecedented stroke of boldness, I’m to leave the Pipe UNCOVERED and in one piece (Stem still inside Bowl)...until that 4th Smoke is done! This open display of the put-together Pipe will be very rare. It leaves it vulnerable, just as Love and Peace and Justice are. But that vulnerability is where Love’s strength comes from...just as Jesus was made ultimately vulnerable, near naked on the cross. Soon I shall perform these 4 Smokes.”

10/19/01: “A very special beginning to the day. This morning I saw clouds that formed the Wings of a Hawk, a Sacred Pipe, and the White Feather I saw the day I bought my Pipe..all at the same time! I knew this was the day I should perform my 4th Smoke. While on the road for my job, a small Bird kept landing in front of me..causing me to stop short 4 times! So I got ready for the final of the 4 Smokes. The Pipe ended up being uncovered and joined for 7 days total, a Sacred Number. “

From here on, a verbatim transcript:

“As I was praying and filling the Pipe, the Crows were singing a lot in the South. But as I prayed to the West, a single 4-Caw out there told me the Spirit Camp was solidly in line with me. Thrilling! Then, as I was walking toward the holly bush and offering the Pipe to Father Sky, a Chipmunk came along the bushes next to the house and went right by me, completely fearless, as if it knew I was becoming (or already was) part of Nature. The rest of the filling went well, and I went to the Prayer Spot to do my Smoke. I offered the Pipe to Grandfather Sun, and held it against a little Pine Tree nearby. Pine is the Peace Tree, and I acknowledged that since the Pine Standing Person is half in Mother Earth and half in Father Sky, it is the perfect symbol of the Pipe, which also stands for the power of the Male/Female connection, and therefore Love and Creativity when joined. So holding that unlit Pipe against that Tree made it very powerful as an instrument of Peace. I Smoked for World Peace three times, for All Our Relations, my family and friends, the sick and dying. I gave thanks for the Pipe, and gave lots of Smoke out to the Spirit Camp for them to enjoy as well. I inhaled some Smoke for the first time by mistake, but thereby joined the community of Spirits even further.

At the end, I held the Bowl to my heart. The heat of the Sun on my face and the heat of the Bowl were from the same source: the Sun, one stored for months, the other brand new..but the same and therefore from the Grandfather. Then, as I held the Pipe tightly to my heart and asked the heat to re-sanctify my sacred heart space with that little Sun in there, I realized that by completing the 4th Smoke, not only was my Dream tasking complete, but NOW THE 4 SEPARATE SMOKES WERE COMBINING. NOW THEY WERE ONE VERY POWERFUL SMOKE FOR PEACE. No longer separate, they were now, at task’s end, unified! I was in awe of the Power of these Prayer Smokes as a single unit. I could feel their Power forming as this huge Prayer in Time and Space. My eyes were closed. Suddenly, like at the start, I heard scratching in the Leaves (on the ground) about 10 feet in front of me. I opened up my eyes..yup, my little Chipmunk was back..same one? Who can say? I’d like to think so. Then suddenly came an event that ranks with my feeling of sensing the Holy Spirit back in the late 70s. A motion to my right. A large Bird flies very quietly in and lands on a branch on the other side of a narrow Tree Trunk about 10 feet away...same direction as the Chipmunk. At first, I could only see its tail, but I knew it was not a standard Bird. Perhaps a Mockingbird? But then, it peaked its head out from behind the trunk to the left..and I saw the head of a Hawk! It looked right at me for about a second, maybe two, then took off and flew away to my left so I could see its brown Feathers and make a perfect ID. I melted into the ground! Frozen..tingling in awe...in great thanks. I cried later telling my Daughter of this moment, which I then and have since called my Epiphany. But in the moment of the visit, I knew my Prayer Smokes had been sanctified by the Great Spirit. He sent Hawk to help me celebrate this powerful Smoke series, and to REMOVE ALL DOUBT about the Power of the Pipe. I’m stll in total awe as I write this summary an hour later. I could feel the presence of God, the Medicine Allies. I knew it had really happened as a result of my Smoke. It was the most direct evidence of God and Love and Prayer Power I had ever seen. For the first time in my life, I have absolute proof of the existence of the God of Love. He sent me the Hawk to thank me for listening to my Dream, and for using the White Feather Hawk Pipe to pray for a peace that is best for ALL. I’m a changed person, totally altered. I can never doubt again. Can I ever feel bad again? This is Earth-shattering, mind-blowing stuff! The Tree I was Smoking near is bright yellow...the South..healing..sustenance...joy! I’m still swooning with delight at this divine intervention. Make no mistake, ye doubters! I have seen the hand of the Great Spirit touch my life...none of the events I have recorded in my Journals thus far is accidental. I finished by taking the Ash of this, the holiest and most powerful of all my Smokes, and blowing it onto my Sage plant. Wouldn’t you know...there was some unsmoked Tobacco left, so it was God’s will I offer both As and Tobacco to the plant we use to ward off negativity. Great! I then wrapped up the Pipe. It’s back in its Skin and Feathers, separated, and Smudged.”

What I left out of this summary at the time, due to my obvious excitement, was the first thought that Crossed my mind after the Hawk had left: This only happens to Shamans! I had read about their interactions with the Winged Ones in a meaningful way...and this visit by Hawk to me at the end of the 4th Smoke, inspired by a Dream, was the stuff of a Shaman’s Walk. I knew from then on, although it has taken several years to advance at the timing the Spirit Camp desires, that I was destined to adopt Shamanic Ways...hopefully someday to earn the title. Even though I am a non-Native, my ancestry is rich with Shamanic practices of its own.

Hence my name, Four Hawks...hence my Shamanic works. And again, perhaps the little Eagle being scooped up by the Large “Great Spirit” Eagle in the first Dream was, after all, me, on my way to this extraordinary event.