Journey 48 - Visit with Dad

4/30: A most remarkably emotional Journey to the Lower World this morning, and unanticipated. I had earlier mentioned to my wife how our son’s refusal to hang with one of his friends because of excessive alcohol use reminded me of the time I had rejected my best friend at around his age for the same reason. She took this comment to launch a forceful explanation on how she is the only one who should take credit for our son’s actions, and that I little to do with any of the wise decisions he is now making. I was totally unprepared for this (even though I have seen it before), and it wounded my Aura, thereby reactivating an Imprint in my Luminous body which I soon thereafter recognized as having been with me for years. I have, since I can remember, always reacted with emotional resentment and anger when anything to do with my performance in any arena has been assaulted, questioned or undermined by anyone. And thinking of this incident this morning and my reaction to it, I knew I had to get to the source Wounding to finally rid myself of this constantly-triggering Imprint that has poisoning my Aura and Chakras over and over. And I had to do it NOW. So off I went, and I knew right away this would be a different Journey. After Smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I used the drum CD. I was not out back this time, but immediately carried into a wooded/flowered area, vibrant with color and pleasant aromas. It was gorgeous. Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide, emerged from a Tunnel entrance in front of me, for the first time wearing a Crown made of glistening Diamonds! Whoa!” I thought to myself, “something is up!” I met with Crosses and asked to be taken to the source Wounding that had left this deep Imprint in my Luminous Body. In fact, I humbled myself before Crosses, almost begging meekly on my knees, and in deep gratitude. Crosses led me down a very resplendent tunnel, lined with numerous, variously-colored Crystal Wands parallel to the floor as far as the eye could see. Down and down we went through this Wonder of Light. We emerged into a rather formless area, where my new Guide, Senses All, was waiting for me. Her eyes were like diamonds, and she likewise had a small crown. I told her I wished to be taken to the Source Wounding, and she took me by the hand and led me into a swirling mass. As we penetrated, Events from my Life went by me. Each was an example of how this Imprint had wounded me and caused anger and hurt. Back and back we went, past my teen years. We then came to a small room with a computer terminal in it(!), and Sense All showed me a long list of Imprint-inspired Chakra poisonings. She smiled and said she wanted me to feel more comfortable in a setting I’m used to in this life as I reviewed my history. :) As the list went further back into my early days, Senses All took me by the hand and led me back into the Swirl of Time. She took me back into the basement of my old house. I saw my Father working at his work bench. He was working on his car engine (he rebuilt it every winter when I was a baby). My mother had let me come down to be with him and walk around a bit (so I must have been two or so). I had picked up a small can of oil and was bringing it to him when it spilled. My Father was always quick to frustration and so yelled at me, telling me to leave things alone, not to help. I felt the Original Wounding occur. I ran and was crying. I now understood why as an older boy and young teenager I had such dread about going down those stairs into the cellar. Senses All then cornered me and told me that we were going to replay this incident, but this time, after the oil spill, I was to react differently. With love and forwardness. Therefore, after the spill, I ran to my Father’s legs and held them tight. I said I was sorry (at least in my mind), that I was only trying to help him. He picked me up, held me to his chest, and said it was OK. It felt SO good to hug him again, I burst into tears..right in the middle of my Journey (a first). I held him tighter and tighter, saying how good it was to be with him again, and how much I loved him. I asked him to forgive me for all the times in the future when I would refuse to help him happily because of this Original Wounding. I then told him I had to get back to my time, that I would be a much better Shaman for having come back to erase this Imprint. I held him so long, and told him I would see him again in the Spirit Camp, but it was wonderful to have held him again. I kept saying, “I love you!”, over and over, in fresh tears. Senses All then took me and said, we now will seal off the Imprint forever. She placed her hand over the Wounded area and the Imprint dissolved. She brought that part of my Luminous Body back to wholeness. I turned and looked at my Father one last time, tears welling once more. He had become a Luminous Body himself, no longer the physical Robe I was accustomed to. I turned with Senses All to begin the Journey back. I was very grateful to her, but a bit too overwrought to say so. But she knew, and I have thanked her since. She led me back to Crosses, who brought me back up the Tunnel to the grove. Crosses told me to sit a while amidst the Trees and drink in their Luminous Energy. As I did so, I became each Tree, and looked over to see myself sitting there. It was very soothing to sit in the Tree Life Forces. Crosses then led me back to my room where I grounded, eyes still wet.

Journey 47 - Alcoholic Visitor

4/28: A quick and simple Journey to remove an alcohol-craving that is still embedded within my Luminous Body. My assumption was that it is in my heritage. This came ot me last night as I watched Alberto talk of a similar incident in one of his Student’s healings. I felt that I needed to perform a soul-release ceremony on an ancestor who had an acohol-related eath, so his Luminous Body could finally escape to the Blue Road and beyond to the Spirit Camp. So after smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I relaxed and breathed while chanting my intention to myself. I soon found myself out back at the entrance to the Lower World Tunnel, and there was a very tiny Owl waiting for me. I shape-shifted down to his size, but he did not accompany me in. He was standing guard. Snake appeared from within the Tunnel, just as blue lines of Energy versus the traditional physical form. We went down together, and very soon were in an all-blue world with no delineation at all. We came to a bunch of bones and ashes lying on the “ground”, upon which sat a figure, all Energy, as if pensive, chin on hand. I asked him to move aside so I could release him. I assumed this was my ancestor, but a face flashed before me that was totally unknown to me. Young, short brown receding hair, and glasses. He stared at me, almost expressionless. Recall I dealt with my GF in an earlier Journey and thought I had freed him then, so apparently I had. Snakes waited off to my right. I then called in Sacred Space by praying to the 7 Directions. I then extended Sacred Space over the remnants of the body. I then walked to the side and began unraveling each Chakra. When done, I sensed that nothing much had happened, and just assumed it had worked. But it was a bit dull-ending. I closed both Sacred Spaces and drummed back. It was while I was back in the room, thinking about what had happened, that I realized that I had un-spun the Chakras in the wrong looping pattern, the reverse one. I had done it wrong! I quickly drummed myself back to the scene and re-created Sacred Space as before. This time I began to use the correct loop pattern, as every loop has to end up at the heart. Also this time, Eagle Claw was there to my left side, giving me protection, strength and guidance. I went through all the Chakras, un-spinning them and then taking them to the heart. I then pushed on the “feet” to cause the Luminous Body to release into the air, which it did as a deep-purple blob. I watched as this blob took on a human-body form and walk away. I then saw the bones and ashes disappear. I did not close off each Chakra with an “X”, the traditional ending to this Ceremony, as this person had been dead for quite a while, and was more attached to me than to its own body. Recall it was sitting on it, not trapped within it. The fact the remains vanished also shows it was not required. I then closed the Sacred Spaces and returned, thanking my guides. Thinking a little later about who it might have been, I believe I was invaded the very first night I got so drunk and fell asleep in the snow. While I survived, I think a Spirit of someone who didn’t moved into me. It has been with me ever since. Until today. So now I know my craving for alcohol is gone, and as I walked on the treadmill I felt again like the person I was in my mid teens, with no interest whatsoever in the stuff. I will still drink socially, but that is all.

Journey 46 - Emotional Wounding

4/23: A Journey to reduce and eliminate my tendency to sustain emotional wounds and to act therefore. Last night, I was quite unshamanic in spreading malicious gossip concerning and ex and future coach of ours, followed by a very aggressive response to my wife’s suggestion that I spend this morning picking up our new mattress (raining, so it was off anyway). I told my daughter last night I knew I still had weaknesses in this area, and I decided to confront them this morning. I smudged the room and lit the Sacred Candle after creating a Sacred Space by Rattling in the Powers of the 6 Directions. I began the Journey outside in back, where a Tunnel appeared in the dirt from Crosses in Front (Snake) burrowing up to meet me. His dark, uniform Spirit eyes viewed me as he broke into a Smile. By this time I had been transformed into my Energy Body only, and I could look down to see that I was crippled by a gaping hole in the lower portion, a large funnel narrowing into my body, through which emotional spears could easily enter and hurt me. We went down the Tunnel, lined in Green rings, and came out onto a forested area with beautiful pink/white flower carpets, tall Standing People, and nice fresh air. I stood and waited, hobbled over by my infirmity of Spirit. A large male appeared out of the woods and approached me. One by one, he took me through various aspects of my emotional life through which I had been and still can be wounded. First was my tendency to not completely honor the Female Spirit, even now, by not taking in the full breadth and beauty of the Female view, or by transferring MY views onto THEM to make it appear as if they were theirs, in order to justify myself. I was taken to a group of Feminine Spirits to my right, sitting around in a Circle. I stood before them and explained my behavior patterns. My tendency to view women in too physical a way, which was very strong when I was young, was still there now, albeit in a much reduced way..and still a potential source of occasional wounding caused by bringing back the feelings of the early days. They then lowered me to the ground, on my back, and uttered prayers while sending loads of energy from their fingertips into my Aura, to fix that portion of the entry funnel that was allowing wounding in this area. They sealed off that part of my Aura, allowing a healthy and correct attitude toward all of the Feminine Ways. I was then taken to a group of Children to my left, all screaming uncontrollably for their own way, unrelenting in not allowing others’ views in. My male Guide told me I was STILL like this..even though I wear the veneer of understanding to the outside world, internally I still thought in many ways of my own needs first..and then had the gall to attack others for that same property in their make-up. This area of wounding was sealed by the children gathering around me, as I was instructed to truly put others’ needs first: the Shamanic Way. Next I was taken back to see the teenagers in my high school, just to the right of center of me, who had taunted my outlooks and behaviors and friendships, to be shown that this is the a normal part of the human condition. No amount of wishing can change how we are when young, which brings a vital behavior in the building up of the adult human Spirit. One cannot be wounded by such action when one realizes that the attacker has no real choice..too underdeveloped. The teenage Spirit was healed in my Aura, so that I am able to allow such attacks from anyone with no wounding. I was then taken to a grouping of rich people to my right, who likewise were shown to have no choice in their actions. Collection of wealth was their Sacred Path, and they had to answer for their own Spiritual growth. It was up to me to allow their Paths, not hate them and resent them for it, or to take their lack of caring personally. My Aura was sealed concerning this wounding potential. Finally, I was allowed to view all these groupings of People as Spirit Energy only, and while some had lesser Spirit boldness than others, we were all nonetheless all the same in our bold blue lines of flowing Power. We then all came together and embraced as a unified force of both human and eternal Spirit. I was allowed to feel total Love for each and every one. I then thanked my male Guide, Crosses, and returned to my room to contemplate this amazing visit. What was interesting is that wounding by co-workers and immediate family members was NOT included in the Aura healing. This shows I have already taken control of these aspects of my Spiritual Health, and am dealing with them correctly. I am not surprised, since I feel I have grown to meet these occasional challenges quite well.

Journey 45 - PA for Wife's Best Friend's Mom

4/21/04: A Journey to acquire a Power Animal to help my wife’s friend's mom fight her cancer. Since I have given a Tiger to another friend’s Mom this weekend, it is only right I use my Shamanic skills to help my wife’s best friend and her mom. I went out to the recently dug hole by the Bird feeder to await Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide. The Sky Nation was very starry despite the brightness of the day, and short, bright Beams of Rainbow Light were issuing forth from the Star People and coming to Earth, like phaser-shots from the Star Ship Enterprise. These Beams were striking the Earth at random, and hitting some of the Standing People nearby. Snake appeared as an Aura only, with light blue lines suggesting a Snake shape with no obvious physicality. I soon took on this appearance as well! We went together into the Tunnel beyond this Hole, and as we went further down, we could see the ground was transparent, and the Sky was still “shooting” Rainbow light-surges at the surface. As these struck the nearby Tree People, the Rainbow Light came down the Roots and ended at the Root tips as a brilliant but very small speck of burning white Light..like a tiny Sun. We went deeper into the Tunnel and soon emerged from it onto a Bank by a River. In the distance I could see a large Whirlpool of Rainbow Light swirling around in the Sky. I knew I needed to get beneath it. Eagle appeared and took me gently in his Claws and flew me over the to the area beneath this gigantic Swirl of brilliant color. At this site, there was a small corral bounded by branches and twigs. I sat within and waited. Soon, a Chimpanzee appeared in one corner, and I told him I had come to seek a Power Animal for the mom. The Chimp was my go-between with the PA camp. Soon, a Penguin appeared. We walked over to a point directly beneath the Whirlpool. Our Energy fields merged, and I sensed life as a Penguin for a short time. Then, as we separated, Penguin dissolved and was absorbed up into the Whirlpool as a beam of Light. Penguin is associated with slipping out of the body within full consciousness. I then saw this Beam shoot over to fall onto our friend’s mom..PA delivered! Penguin was dancing around her, so I knew he was helping already. I thanked my Guides and came back to the room. Penguin also implies “lucid dreaming”, and as you dream, you become aware of the dream and can THEN CHANGE IT. There is a two-month cycle associated with Penguin and egg protection, so this implies our friend’s mom will experience a two-month period of sickness-related dreams. It is essential she change the outcome to Healing when these occur. The male takes on a female role during this period. Also, I read by chance in an other book that sitting by the ocean is VERY healing..and therefore our friend should take her mom to the beach and sit there with her as often as possible. Finally, the white light at the tips of the Tree roots implies to me that her mom has to go all the way back to her roots, and cleanse any issues from that earliest of times that are still weighing on her.

Journey 44 - Cleansing Personal Imprints

4/16/04: A Journey to cleanse my Luminous Body of Crystallized Energies and Imprints. A Shaman must fully heal himself/herself before truly being effective at healing others. I undertook this Journey right after a Smoke, and was already prepared and in the Spirit Way. I re-smudged the room and lay down, and used the long version of Meadow’s CD Drumming. As the prep drumming rang out in my ears, I asked Crosses In Front, my Snake Lower World Guide, to meet me at the Hole that has been dug next to the Bird feeder out back in recent weeks by a Four-legged. As I breathed more deeply and slowly, concentrating on the purpose of my Journey, I waited at the Hole while shrinking to the size of a tiny Frog. Then, Crosses came out of the adjacent woods to be with me. We went into the Tunnel together. Crosses suggested Black Panther come with us, who appeared immediately, and so we all proceeded downward, Crosses at my right, Panther at my left. Very soon, the foulest odor began filling the Tunnel. It has no effect on my Guides, but I was getting very nauseated. I knew it was coming from my own Spiritual imperfections. I finally had to stop, and I wretched for minutes. Piles of seething white maggots emerged from my innards, accompanied soon by green masses, brown fluids, and finally black shiny bits that seemed to have a life of their own, and to represent the crystallized Energy within my Luminous Body. My whole mid-section was wracked with such debilitating pain that I could barely move. Once the pain subsided, I had to pull myself along on my stomach to move toward fresh Water I heard flowing a bit further down. As I came near the bank of this small Rivulet, I sensed a powerful, Black wall of Energy in my way. I was much too weak to deal with this, and so I began chanting my Rainbow Healing song, Westu Waja Wasaji, and saw the Rainbow rays pouring down into my Aura. I saw my hands turn from flesh to pure Energy, a light white-blue in color. I then proceeded to shoot beams of color, one at a time, from my fingertips into this mass, until it was no longer in my way. I then crawled to the Rivulet. I saw the female Face of the Water Spirit there. She told me of the Power of Feminine Medicine as I peered into her waters from the bank’s edge. She reminded me how Two-legged Females are unique in the ability to give birth to new Life, our children. In so doing, they are the ones who manifest into physical being the Original Thought in the mind of the Great Mystery that the new baby represents. They therefore the closest to the Great Mystery’s movement..Its direct messengers of Life, if you will. Therefore, they are to be honored like no others. She also reminded me that the Female Two-leggeds are like Mother Earth, who likewise spends her Time bringing Great Mystery’s thoughts into being here. Creation of Life is the direct link to Great Spirit. By honoring this Female Power, I could then fall into her Waters and bathe and refresh myself. And so I did so honor this Medicine and enter the Stream. I found myself floating in her essence in total Peace, breathing the Water as if it were Air. Once cleansed, I came back out onto the bank. I caused a small Fire to begin from leafy materials there, using the energies from my fingertips to light the leaves. I sat there with Snake and Panther curled at my side. As they guarded me, I fell into restful sleep, with dreams unrecalled, until the signal drumming at the end of the period called me back. I thanked my Guides and Water Spirit for the lesson and help. I grounded myself to Mother Earth, and returned.

Journey 43 - Son's Dreams

4/8: My son reported to me this morning that he had been having recurrent dreams the past few nights about breaking up with his girl. I initially told him someone had sent him a spear of anger or revenge, but promised to investigate further. So I took a Journey after work today to see what is going on. I smudged the room with Sage and Sweet Grass, and lit the Sacred Candle to represent the Inner Light. I decided to scoot over to where I had earlier in the day seen a perfect-Tipi shaped Cloud Person, a good entry point to the Upper World. I thought at first I might try calling in the Harrier to take me up there, but then remembered what happened the last time I used an “unauthorized” Guide. So I called on Owl. While I was waiting, the inner part of the Tipi became embroiled in glowing blue Energy..the Tunnel entrance. Owl then appeared, and he was likewise covered in the blue glow. I went up to sit with him and we immediately took off. As we flew up I could see our environs for miles. We arrived at the Tunnel entrance and went in. As we traveled, I could see the blue Energy flowing by me, and it was thin enough that I could also see the white Cloud matter surrounding it like a thin blanket. A very cool-looking Tunnel indeed! There was a purple tinge to the blue part as well. We finally emerged onto a very flat, dark red plain, the color suggesting to me that we were dealing with a base Chakra problem. The “sky” was black above..more than likely not sky at all but the Void. A room (walls only) appeared before us, red-orange in color. We went in and sat on the single Bench. A Table appeared before us, likewise red-orange. A tiny, brilliant gold and glowing Tipi appeared in the center of the Table. We morphed down to size and walked along the Table and into the Tipi. There was a single figure inside, dressed so that I could not make out features very well. The figure advised me to investigate my son’s Aura, and to pick a place to so that. So I chose to view him as he first gets up, towel around his waist, coming into the kitchen. I froze his motion there and checked his colors. His base Chakra was all dark and colorless. This meant he has disconnected from Mother Earth, and by extension from Female Energy. I knew he must reconnect and honor Feminine Energy to correct his relationship with his girlfriend. So it was NOT an external attack after all. I then sought a Power Animal to help cleanse his Aura. My Alligator showed up first, suggesting a need for a strong nibbler/consumer. Raccoon showed up next, but bared his teeth at me from a distance, telling me this was not the right choice. Fox walked by indifferently. Armadillo likewise. Then my Totem Black Panther walked by, as if to help me find the right choice. Then Rabbit appeared, and Rabbit was willing. I saw Rabbit hopping into my son’s base Aura Field, turning a dark blue/black due to the sludge there. Rabbit would collect some sludge, then emerge from the Aura to shake off the dark Energy. This process began repeating, so I knew it would continue. I then returned to the golden Tipi to thank the Figure and my Owl Guide. The Figure walked to me and revealed her face (it was a SHE!). She told me her name was “Senses All”, and she moved to cleanse the little bit of darkness matter attached to MY base Aura Field, sweeping it away with her hands. I thanked her very much, thanked Owl, and back we flew to my room. Since this Journey, I have decided I would like to meet with Senses All more..perhaps she can help me accelerate my ability to read Auras and other Spirit Energies. A final word: Rabbit is associated with strong fear (actually a great survival tool if used properly), but also with fertility, and the ability to hop from one project to another. A very good Medicine for a young man to have!

Journey 42 - Spirit of Sweetness

4/404: A mini-Journey early this morning to visit with the Spirit of Sweetness to discover why I still have such a need to snack and ingest sweets of various types when I get home every day. I performed this Journey without drumming, an advanced Shamanic technique. I found myself on the Spirit Plains at night, with several fires around which Elders were sitting. I was at one of those fires. I saw the rainbow-tipped Tipis nearby, common to my Spiritual Plains. Off in the distance beyond some woods, I saw a large Tipi tip sticking up with Purple and Green colors only. This was the Tipi of the Spirit of Sweetness. Black Panther came along and we began to walk toward this Tipi, once I told him I wanted to meet with the Spirit there. We walked through a long and winding path amidst Brush and Trees, with granulated sugar covering the ground as we got closer. Powered sugar began to fall from the sky and covered us both as we walked. I was struck that the imagery was from my current existence, and not from past lives. This told me I was actually meeting with the right Spirit. We got to a huge Stone Person and sensed to stop there..we never made it to the Tipi. The Spirit came out to meet us. At first, it stood very high on the Stone, towering over us and made up of light chocolate edged in powered sugar. But quickly Sweet Spirit sized down to a small, pale white figure that crouched as it talked to me. I believe this was to show that I need not be afraid of the original towering size..nothing major to overcome Spirit told me that me need for sugar was a result of a lack of self-esteem I brought home with me. I need to work more on the belief-conversion I’m undergoing and concentrate solely on the skills and good accomplishments and qualities of my life and self. Only then, when my esteem is very high, will I not need to “medicate” to feel good. I thanked him and my Panther totem and returned to the room.

Journey 42 - Duplicate

4/404: A mini-Journey early this morning to visit with the Spirit of Sweetness to discover why I still have such a need to snack and ingest sweets of various types when I get home every day. I performed this Journey without drumming, an advanced Shamanic technique. I found myself on the Spirit Plains at night, with several fires around which Elders were sitting. I was at one of those fires. I saw the rainbow-tipped Tipis nearby, common to my Spiritual Plains. Off in the distance beyond some woods, I saw a large Tipi tip sticking up with Purple and Green colors only. This was the Tipi of the Spirit of Sweetness. Black Panther came along and we began to walk toward this Tipi, once I told him I wanted to meet with the Spirit there. We walked through a long and winding path amidst Brush and Trees, with granulated sugar covering the ground as we got closer. Powered sugar began to fall from the sky and covered us both as we walked. I was struck that the imagery was from my current existence, and not from past lives. This told me I was actually meeting with the right Spirit. We got to a huge Stone Person and sensed to stop there..we never made it to the Tipi. The Spirit came out to meet us. At first, it stood very high on the Stone, towering over us and made up of light chocolate edged in powered sugar. But quickly Sweet Spirit sized down to a small, pale white figure that crouched as it talked to me. I believe this was to show that I need not be afraid of the original towering size..nothing major to overcome Spirit told me that me need for sugar was a result of a lack of self-esteem I brought home with me. I need to work more on the belief-conversion I’m undergoing and concentrate solely on the skills and good accomplishments and qualities of my life and self. Only then, when my esteem is very high, will I not need to “medicate” to feel good. I thanked him and my Panther totem and returned to the room.