Here is my Dream as written up at the time. I have done some very minor editing for better flow, but no substantive changes have occurred:
“In the past few weeks, while driving or out at night, I thought I had been seeing black bird shapes, flying in the dead of night, darker than the sky itself. I also recently had a dream where I was standing in the back yard with my dog, and it was very dark. The trees and buildings were just black shapes. The sky was barely lit. Yet, I saw a very brilliant light shining from behind the shed, where the Pipe is smoked. I knew it was THE Sacred Light, and was thrilled to witness it! Off near the edge of the woods, though, I then saw this black animal walking toward my yard..large and low, hard to put a name to..sinister-looking. Both these things spoke to me of an impending return of the dark force, but I put that aside, hoping it wasn't true. As the Shamanic dream began, I was walking my dog in my back yard. A huge black bird shape flew in from the west. As I first saw it, I was comforted knowing that I had thought I had been seeing black bird shapes at night. Here at last was proof, I thought. As it flew over me, though, it was huge! And a very dark gray against the black night. As it passed over me, I felt a sudden urge to scream. It was a PRIMAL scream, too..pure fear. All mouth, no sound? I woke up, but on a bed next to mine (where there is none in reality). As I sat up shaking, I felt a small wet touch in my back, like a dog's nose. I thought it was Calvin, but it turned out to be Janet's hand, asking if I was OK. I said yes, feeling relieved. At this point, sequence one ended as the real Janet woke up to turn in her back pain on our one bed, and I realized the first wake-up involving two beds had also been a dream. As you’ll see, I was in my old birthplace house in Boston during that wake-up.In Sequence 2, which began the minute I got back to sleep, I was in my old house in Boston (where the dark force had pulled me down the stairs when I was young..and appeared to me as my mother with horns). I was up in my sister's Sue's room, with Janet and Jen and Calvin. I was saying goodnight to them. I hugged Janet, then went to hug Jen. As I hugged HER, the lights went out and it got very dark. She seemed unresponsive as I hugged her. I felt I was being isolated. I backed off to go out into the hall to turn on those lights instead. As I did so, I saw the barely visible face of Calvin on top of a small table in the corner next to Jen, staring at me. The hall lights didn't work either. I felt very unsettled. In my sister Laura's room, there was a weak glow of light emanating from a corner, but no light was on. I felt quite scared by now, and rushed into my bed room to grab my flashlight under the bed. I did so, it worked, and I started flashing it around. At this point, the dream carried me to a lit room downstairs for a second, with Calvin by me. Suddenly, this room downstairs became my bedroom, the very place from which I'd been pulled as a boy. Cal was alert at the foot of the bed, staring at the door. Suddenly, Janet reached down from my right to hug me. I put my arms around her neck and got a much needed dose of love. As I did so, I felt a huge hand clasp her neck and begin pulling her away from me. I asked what the hell that that was, but no answer. This hand lifted both of us out of bed as I held onto her for dear life. When we were upright, I realized this dark shape had full hold of her. I let go of her at this instant in order to convince myself it was a dream, and this dream sequence ended instantly. At this point, really awake, I was a nervous wreck. I knew what was happening. I was in a spirit war! I girded myself for battle in bed by wrapping myself figuratively in Sage, my War Bonnet, and my Pipe (I would have done so in reality but didn't want to wake up Janet). I knew I was very vulnerable, that the attack was on, that I had to rely on my Medicines to fight. I kept saying to myself, "I am Four Hawks, I am ready." I was praying hard, very nervous about what would happen next when I went to sleep. Sequence 3 began immediately. I was back in the Boston house with Janet and her best friend Cyndi. I was supposed to give Cyndi a facial makeover, of all things! But as I began, I realized I didn't have all the stuff I needed to do a good job, so I went to my room looking for the facial mask to begin the process, but couldn't find it. I don't recall how we jumped to the next morning, but we were in the kitchen, and I was apologizing to Cyndi for apparently falling asleep and not finishing with her, when Calvin came running in from the back and jumped right on the kitchen table. Cyndi got up and went to the hall mirror to get ready for work. As I was there helping her and apologizing again, she went to turn on the light, and it didn't work. "Here we go again," I thought. I tried a lamp by the door, but it just has a small blue glow by the switch. I tried the living room light..nothing. So I knew IT was back. The girls took off to go to work, leaving me alone in the house. I was determined to get rid of this presence, so I walked toward the kitchen from the hall and reached back. I could almost see IT as I grabbed this force by the hand and pulled it to the back door. As I got there and went out into the yard, I released it to the Great Spirit. As I did so, I looked up and beheld the most beautiful sky I had ever seen. Bright, white bulbous clouds with long projections (like you see lava lamps) across the sky, with brilliant, closely-packed star clusters against a deep blue where there was clearing. Then, some gray cloud patches went by, one of which had two eyes in it. Directly above me, there was a large circle of light, turning slowly, that was actually a galaxy, complete with gaseous clouds spiraling in. I was so awestruck by the beauty, I did what any 20th century guy would do..ran for the camera! Even as I ran through the house to get it, I looked up and could still see the galaxy through the ceiling! But when I got back out, the sky had gone dark gray again, with just a hint of red at the horizon. Two boys were across the street as I stood there. One ran into the house, so I followed him. He was grabbing two books from the hall bookshelf, smiling, saying Kenny said it was OK. I asked him nicely not to take them, so he dropped them and ran back out to his friend. Once outside again, I noticed a woman cloaked in a veil, sitting on a bench across the street next to a stalled car. But now, the sky was looking interesting again. Not as gorgeous, but several of those brilliant star clusters were back. So I stood and took a picture. The camera took seconds on end to finish, so I don't know if I got it or not. I then turned and looked..the woman was still there..I could hear music playing softly by her. I was trying to decide if she was in need of help or just resting when the dream ended. This was an epic shaman's dream. It had all the markings of things I've read about in Native books. I was so shaken I had to get up to write this all down. As I came upstairs, Avery was crying, and Jen went to her with a bottle. As I sat down to write about my experience at the kitchen table, the light over the sink (as it will do occasionally) went out! :) I had to laugh, given “lights out” was a main motif running though my dreams. Both the animal in the prior dream and the large black bird at night to begin tonight's sequencing, WERE indeed announcers. My scream as the bird flew past me signaled the beginning of a truly primal, spiritual battle against fear itself. The girl at the end signals the fact that the dark force is still at the edges..remember the cat at the edge of the yard the last time I threw the force out that same back door, and you even wrote, beware of the cat? So the battle will resume again. The fact things went black when I hugged Jen disturbs me greatly, for I fear she indeed has the same dark force attached to her that used to be attached to me when I was young. Cal's nearly-constant presence is also very interesting, as he has been out of sorts (tail down) for a few days. Any other dreams after our sandwiches? Actually, yes. We were back here in Exeter, on my back porch late at night, Kenny and I this time. All was quiet, normal. A large car came up our street and stopped in front of our house for a few seconds. It then back into my neighbor's driveway and drove off. I didn't know what it meant in the dream, but now realize it picked up the woman on the bench to take her away..for a while. If anything, though, this monumental fear journey proves my Medicine is strong..Four Hawks lives. The battle will resume, but I am much stronger now for surviving this one.”
