Journey 65 - Swollen Right Hand

7/13/04: A journey to help mend my right hand, swollen and painful, possibly from striking a kitchen cabinet door in now very rare anger (hard to believe I still am capable of this after all these years..although the swelling didn’t start until two full days later..so perhaps something else had hit it during my recent construction activities?) last Friday. By today (Tuesday), it had swollen to the point of almost non-use, and was quite painful. I decided to seek healing from the Spirit Camp versus seeking western medicine. After smudging, Rattling and lighting the Sacred Candle, I used the Hawkins Drum CD for 20 minutes. As I focused on my intent while breathing slowly and deeply in Shamanic fashion, I found myself out in the Red Maple with Owl, my Night Totem and also Eagle Claw’s worldly robe. As we sat, he looked at me amusedly and said something to the effect of, “so, you finally went and hurt yourself, eh?” I grinned back sheepishly and vowed to try to make this the last time. We looked up into the Sky Nation, and saw a swirling Rainbow whirl of Energy. That was our Tunnel to the Upper World, and off we went. As we flew through the Tunnel, the Walls changed into a swirl of circling stars. As we exited, we were out in blackness. Ahead of me was a small gold-energy-lined door. I moved toward it and extended my hurt hand out into the opening, which proceeded to rotate forwards 90 degrees to become a table. I placed my right hand on this “table”, and immediately saw a miniature Native American Prayer Circle form around it. The sitting ones were smoking their Pipes, while a standing Dancer was singing near my little-finger knuckle, source of the most swelling. Suddenly, I found my entire body lying on the ground, with all the Natives now life-sized. The dancing Shaman Healer was singing a Power Song, the key word couplet of which was “Wedgshry Oshabay.” I then saw a Bear move up to my right hand and bend its head down over it. The Bear then turned into a Woman wearing a Bear Head on top of her own. She knelt over my hand and began sewing the flesh and bones, both within and without, using threads of golden light. I knew she was healing my hand. The Dancer continued to sing the Power phrase. Comfortable with knowing I was being helped by the Spirits, I fell deeper into the Theta State, and again I don’t recall any of the images that went by therein. As the Drumming CD changed tempo and brought me abruptly back, I thanked all my Helpers, and Owl and I flew quickly back down the Tunnel to here. My hand was still quite sore and immoveable the next day, but I knew it was healing. The following day, yesterday, saw an incredible improvement. Today, while it is still a bit swollen, I have recovered nearly full use. A very quick recovery. I should also mention that I held my healing Agate Stone Person in that hand before bed for those two nights, feeling its healing energies pouring into my hand. While Bear Medicine Woman did the major damage correction, Agate helped speed the restitution to near-normalcy. Very remarkable to see the Helpers come to one’s aid even after a self-inflicted wound. Having been here themselves, they understand.. :)

Journey 64 - Daughter's PA

6/25/04: A Journey to find and assign a Power Animal to my daughter. It began almost immediately upon my completing the Smudging, the Rattling and the lighting of the Sacred Candle. As I breathed Shamanically and lay down with the Whitaker CD drumming, I began this journey is a new but familiar place. A land full of beautifully lit Tipis, each a glowing with a different color, at night. Off to my left was a large mountain, with little purple and yellow lights moving up and down the slopes, as if a mix of Spirit People and Sacred Fires. My Lower World Guide, Crosses in Front, the Snake, showed up wearing a red bandana and a moustache. This implied to me a Mexican or Peruvian Spirit Camp. As we walked together, Crosses and I could see into the opening of the various Tipis, and in the pitch-black could see the glowing eyes and Pipe Bowls of the Ones within. We went into a darkened Tipi (just skin on the outside, minus the Glow). Within were the glowing Eyes and Bowls, but also a small, pulsing purple circle on the ground. Crosses and I entered and went through this Tunnel, with circular pulses moving past us as we went down. As we reached the exit, there were curtains of light green Energy strips hanging before us, and as we passed through these we were in a small clearing with lush growth. Crosses demonstrated to me that I had the Ability to create any form of Life here I wished. Using Energy from my outstretched palm, I thereby created a bush-like tree with white blossoms. I created some Chipmunks and Rabbits to scurry on the ground before us. At this point, a rainbow-colored Hawk flew in and landed beside me. When asked, he said he was not the Power Animal for my daughter. But he did invite me to ride his back as went in search of the PA. As we lifted up above the Trees, I could see a large rock faced cliff to our front-right. We flew toward a cave in the middle of the face. As we approached, we both turned into tiny gold figurines, A hawk and a Tiny Man, both coming to rest in the dirt just inside the Cave opening. Our Spirits were free from these objects though, so we sat in Spirit Form nearby and awaited my daughter's Power Animal. Bear and Antelope both appeared from further within, but they were not her PA. Nor was the Deer who came nibbling at the Entrance. At this point I lapsed a few minutes into the Theta State, and don’t recall the imagery there, but it was not really germane. When I came back into the Journey, I found Grandfather to the North sitting across from me. He produced Pegasus, the Winger Horse and Spirit Messenger. But Pegasus was not her PA either, Rather, she took me on board and we flew north. We landed in a snowy field, where Polar Bear came up to us. She announced she WAS my daughter's PA, and went with me to my daughter's bedroom, where she was sleeping with the light on. Polar Bear licked her face in friendliness, then curled herself around my daughter, then shrank into her. We then were back at the snow field, and Pegasus brought me back to the cave. I went back into the Theta State. When I awoke, Hawk and I resumed our bodies from the golden figurines and went back the clearing. From there, Crosses and I went back up the Tunnel to the Tipi. We went outside, and some of the Spirit People there invited me to go the main Fire to dance with them. I did so, and my Power Animal Eagle took over, carrying me through and spiraling up above the Spirit Flames. We passed among the embers and sparks of the Fire of Life. The call-back drumming then occurred, just as I landed. I felt a powerful presence, Snake, running through my Luminous Body as the Jack-hammer like pounding of the Drum set the pace for the intensity and determination of Snake in eating the Imprints and Crystallized Energies away from my Aura. I felt much cleansed and strengthened as I retuned to the room.

Journey 63 - Son's PA

6/24/04: A Journey to find and assign a Power Animal to my son. Recent events and a lot of pressure as he transitions to young adult have made me realize he can use the help. Who better than his Shaman Father to arrange this with the Spirits?! I had just finished consecrating my wife's Agate Stone for presentation tomorrow as an Anniversary gift, so I took the still-lit Sacred Candle into the bedroom and went straight into the Drum CD. I had already open Sacred space by Rattling to the 7 Directions and Smudging as part of the Consecration, and so I did not do this again once back in the bed room. I lay down while concentrating on my mission, and was soon off to meet with my Lower World Guide, the Snake, Crosses in Front. I was out back again, and the scene shifted from daylight back to night, and the same scene as in my last Journey was suddenly there again: small mounds of fire nested among the grass. I shrank myself down, and was walking among the mounds of fire, when suddenly, small blue Spirit blobs began to emerge and circle around me. They tightened a Circle around me and I realized from their speed and ferocity that they were attacking me! I felt pressured, and in a panic of sorts. I realized I was in this fix without any visible Power Animal to protect me! This could be quite “bad.” I felt a strong tingling in my body and felt I was actually be led away from it..I felt I needed to escape before I was taken for good. I even opened my eyes to try to end the Journey, for that is always the final answer when a Journey that turns in a direction one doesn’t want. Yet as I stared at the ceiling, I felt it was not a good time to leave, that things were meant to begin this way and I should go back into the scene. Leaving it unresolved, as it were, could leave me contaminated with the attacking Energies. I did go back, and determined immediately that I needed to get off the ground. As I was lifting off, the blue attackers came with me, pulling in ever tighter around me. I then saw Eagle, my Power Animal, come barreling in from above me, in a marked haste. He grabbed me away from the Blue Ones and lifted me up to a Tree Branch immediately above the scene, right next to Owl, who had just appeared. Owl wrapped me in his large Feathers and held me to his chest, blanketing me completely from the action. After a short spell, he let me back out again to survey the scene below. The Blue Ones were gone, but the Fires were still there. My Totem, Black Panther, then appeared and stalked across the area, putting out all the Fires. Suddenly, night turned to day, and the same area that had been covered in grass and fires was now a pleasant patch, with a light blue-green short-grass waving in the wind. Crosses appeared, and led me to the Tunnel to the Lower World. We went down, passing concentric colored circles whizzing by us in the walls. Eventually this wall turned into a blue fog of Energy. As we emerged from the Tunnel exit, we fell immediately into a large waterfall, landing at the base. The river bank was covered in exotic, short green blobs of plants, sans leaves. We went to shore and sat next to one of these. I looked at Crosses, who was staring at me with his mouth wide open, as if to attack. “Man,” I thought, “this is the Journey to have people turning on me..” Snake then bit me in the neck. He told me he had done this purposely to train me to transmute the poisons in my life. He said there would be several more such sessions in the Future. As I found my world getting dark, he told me that when I awakened from this transmuting session, my son’s Power Animal would appear to me. In total darkness now, I began trying to overcome the poison. At the same time, I saw my own face up ahead of me. Soon my face turned into that of an Owl, then a Skeleton, then a large circular Eye. The Eye then stretched itself into an inverse triangle. I think I recall it then circled up around my head. Then, I saw my entire self, standing at a distance in front of me. This “self” was asking where it was, and who was I. I told “myself” that I was Four Hawks, the Shaman living in the body “he” occupied. I told “him” I was the part of him that could never die. I told “him” that he must transmute his poisons. I then reached out to touch “me” to begin that process. I looked down at my left hand and it was the most misshapen and grotesque hand I have ever seen. The other “me” recoiled in horror and asked what it was. I told him it was the most beautiful hand in the Universe since it was a direct creation of the Great Spirit, and therefore had its own precious worth and beauty, no matter how it appeared to us. I told him I had to touch him with it to transmute his poison. When I did so, “he” appeared to die, and the last image I saw was of “my” face staring glassy-eyed and open-mouthed. I then came back to the room enough to begin forcing the poisons in my body down through the bed to Mother Earth. I pressed my palms against the mattress to accelerate the cleansing. I felt intense pain in my left hand, jut above the thumb. From there, realizing I had to fall asleep in order to wake up to my son’s Power Animal, I began to try to slow my breath rate to one per minute, concentrating on the drumming only and clearing my mind of all thought. I soon fell into the Theta State, and while there had several dream-lets. Again, I am not able to recall what they were, as I still have to strengthen myself into bringing images back from the Theta State. I was aroused from this very peaceful, sleep-like rest by the incessant return drumming in my headphones. As I awoke, I knew I only had a minute or so to find my son’s Power Animal. I didn’t try to see it, just waited..and then came a Horse. Yellow, with Pink Ears and a Blue Mane. Suddenly, the return drumming sped up to that of a Horse Trot! I saw Horse trotting along with my son, and knew he was now his Partner. I thanked him. I then came back up the Tunnel with Snake and we emerged into the back yard. I thanked Owl and Eagle and Snake for their help. The scene had returned to the grassy mounds with many fires. The Blue Ones now came up and circled around me in friendship. They told me they had been there at the start to get me ready for me Transmuting Ceremony. They congratulated me on surviving it. They shape-shifted and became Native men and women! They were NA Spirits! Shortly after this Journey, I went outside to get ready to cut the hedges. As I walked along the porch, a shape above me caught my eye. A HUGE bird was flying away from me right at the top of the red maple. The back looked just like the huge bird we saw leaving the Loft last Saturday. This time, though, the Bird began circling around just beyond the Maple..a chance to see just what kind of bird this is! It was a Peace Eagle! And it stayed with me for minute, slowly circling higher and higher just over the edge of the house. Then I saw a second higher up, and they both took off to the west. That Eagle had flown right over me head not 15 feet above me..the closest a Peace Eagle has ever come to me. I felt this was another sign that my Journey had pleased the Spirits! Moreover, this was the second such “near-miss” flyover is less than a week. Powerful forces are afoot on my Path’s behalf. Finally, we look at the Medicines of Horse, my son’s new Totem Power Animal. Jamie Sams says Horse stands for Power. “Compassion, caring, teaching, loving, and sharing your talents, gifts and abilities are the gateways to power. Every human must follow the compassion pathway to power before riding the winds of their destiny.” Ted Andrews says, “Horses are symbols of freedom. Horse People are friendly and adventurous and can be very emotional. Riding a horse raises us above the mundane, and is like flying. Horses can represent movement and travel, or showing up to help you with movement. The represent sexual desire, and the taming of the stallion represents the taming of sexuality and dangerous emotions. Horse will teach you how to ride into new directions to awaken and discover your own freedom and power.” The colors of my son’s Power Animal are also significant. Yellow stands for intellectual power, awakening, and is also the color of the South, the direction of youth and growth and joy of living. Pink is comforting to the emotional energies of the individual. Blue represents peace, faith, aspiration to higher things, and creativity. The fact Horses ears were pink reflects the need for my son to soothe his emotions by listening more closely to what is being said, and not assume the wrong messages behind the words that can lead to anger. Quite a Journey!!!

Journey 62- Double Power Animal Assignment Attempt

6/23/04: A Journey to assign TWO Power Animals at once to two different people..a first to perform two tasks in one Journey, but probably allowable since they are related (mother and son) and living in the same area of CT. Both are related to my friend and co-carrier at work. The mother is suffering from a severe intestinal blockage, unable to eat and refusing treatment, the latter from the last stages of Cancer. My intent in helping assign Power Animals to these two people is not necessarily to heal them, as both seem pretty much resigned to pass. But more to have them get the Spiritual Guidance they need, in whatever forms works for them, to help make their transition back to the Spirit Camp a joyful and smooth one. I’m sure today’s Journey will be quite remarkable, for as I left for my route this morning, a Hawk was circling right over my head at the Bandstand, resplendently lit from above by a strong Sun. It was a celebration of my return to (or, maybe better, start of) serious Shaman work. I saw several other Hawks/Peace Eagles during the day, all gliding well up in Father Sky. So, I Rattled myself into strength and protection of the 7 Directions, smudged with Sage and Sweet Grass, and lit the Sacred Candle. I used Kay Whitaker’s Drum CD, to which I’d been falling asleep lately..more on that later. I lay down and breathed Shamanically, trying to slow my breath to 4 per minute. As I concentrated on my Intent, I found myself outside in the yard, at night. On the ground before me were numerous small Sacred Fires, as if I was standing over a mini-Village. VERY wonderful to behold. My Lower World Guide Crosses in Front, the Snake, met me there, and we both hovered over this scene for a few seconds, drinking in the beauty of the small Fires lighting the grass mounds around them. Then, off to our right, I spotted an opening in the ground at the edge of the Forest, with Sweet Grass Smoke drifting up from the Opening. In we went, and we were suddenly zooming down this Tunnel, which had streaks of light imbedded in the walls but was otherwise dark. As we emerged from this Tunnel, we fell into free fall in the midst of a huge, swirling, blue-white cone of Energy. It was a marvelous feeling to be moving down through this bright whirlpool. We then landed, and the whirlpool around us dissipated like a fog. The landscape had Trees, Bushes and Sky, but all had a deep purple hue. I looked to my left and there was Eagle Claw. It struck me that it had been a very long time since we had actually been together, and we walked a while, talking. He mentioned to me how proud he was that I had finally taking back control of my Shamanic Destiny. He then showed me one of the more Sacred Sights I’ve ever seen in a Journey. Rising above the forest to our left was a huge, triangle-shape mountain, almost completely white, from a distance seeming to be made of crystals and rock. As I looked at the Peak a second time, I saw a huge and brilliant fire emerging from the very tip. Eagle Claw spoke and told me this was the Fire of All Life. Every thing in existence has this Fire in it. He suggested I hitch a ride to the Peak, and at that moment my Power Animal Eagle was at my right side, ready to take me up there. We took off, me nestled gently in Eagle’s claws. We went upslope very fast, under tremendous wing thrusts, and very close to the ground. I could make out Crystals, Snow, Water Streams, Patches of Green, Tipis..the side was replete with Beauty. When we got near the Peak, we landed. The Peak was surrounded by a circular grove of very tall Trees. Within this circle was a second circle of Stone People, one of whom we sat on. The golden display of moving Life Fire was breath-takingly immense. I could hear wind blowing off to my left, and was told (not sure by whom, but it must have been Eagle) that I was hearing the first and last breaths of many living things at once..it was an intersection, where one life’s last breath became a new life’s first. It was thrillingly circular, and comforting. Then, two Animals approached from my left. An Antelope and a Deer. They told me they would be acting as the Power Animals for Lucille and Allayer. For a short time, they changed forms from animals to a handsome Native Man and a lovely Native Woman, then shifted back again. They told me they would head off now and perform their tasks. At this point, I realize after the fact, I “fell asleep”..but it was not sleep at all. In fact, I was achieving the Theta Wave state of consciousness, attainable only by advanced Shamans. Most Journeying occurs in the Alpha State. In this deepened layer, which resembles sleep a lot and takes much training and talent to come back with information from, I recall one striking image: a man sitting at a table, holding a large piece of paper up at one corner, and just below the corner itself was a brilliant little star. When I came back to the Peak, the Power Animals had returned. As a gift, one gave me the tip of an Antler, the other a Nose Whisker. I have brought these Spirit Gifts back with me, and will try to find their counterpart in this dimension. We then headed off together toward a Village, and back I went into Theta State. The only images I recall, and there were others, is of the mother sitting in the back of a car, drumming..and watching her drum made me realize she was in synch with the CD drumming, which in turn brought me back up to the Alpha State. I believe I went back down to Theta then until the call-back drumming began. At this point, Eagle and I left the Peak, landed by Eagle Claw, whom we thanked, and then Snake and I came back up the Tunnel. When we got out into the yard, the scene of Night and small Fires went back to daylight..I was back. Seeing both a man and the mother in the Theta state makes me ponder what the symbology is..what is the message for my friend from her brother and mother. Also, now knowing I am flirting with the Theta State will allow me to discipline my Journeys further to try and reach this state while still able to function. Best of all, though, is that each of the sick ones has been visited by the Spirits, and is ready for whatever comes.

Journey 61 - Conversation with My PA

6/22/04: A journey to have a conversation with my Power Animal as suggested in a recent reading..just to get a sense of where I am and where I should be heading. In a lesser vein, the purpose of this Trip was to prove to myself that I could stay awake for an entire Journey. :) I’ve fallen asleep on the last two.. I began with the usual Rattle Ceremony to the 7 Directions, lit the Sacred Candle and breathed Shamanically while concentrating on my Purpose and self-drumming. I soon was outside my window with Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide to the Lower World. His eyes were alternating between his usual ones and the Azurite variant I’d seen in one of my last two Journeys. As we went to the Tunnel Opening, I noticed the Grass was almost ablaze with green light, as if each Blade were a light source in its own right. As we went down through the Tunnel, the brown Earth walls were covered in golden Specks. The trip was fairly long by comparison, perhaps 6 of our seconds. As we emerged, we came out onto a thick limb of a large Tree sticking out of the side of a Rock Ledge. The branch offshoots were all covered in thick, green Leaves with large White Blossoms, giving the Tree a very full and cozy feel. The Air was of delightful warmth and freshness. Crosses and I moved up to the Eagle’s Nest toward the end of a large Branch. It was large and made of Sweet Grass and Sage! We waited, and soon a large shadow crossed over us. I looked up, and Eagle was gliding over the Nest, and instead of flying down to it, Eagle hovered down, riding the Air Currents right onto the Nest. I looked down at my Eagle Charm on my lower Neck and saw that it was giving off tiny specks of golden light in all directions. At the same time, I could hear music playing gently from it. I thanked Eagle for meeting with me, but did not refer to Eagle as He or She. I told Eagle I felt neither was correct. Eagle said that I was correct, for Eagle encompassed the qualities of both male and female Eagles, combining the attributes of both so as to best serve as my Power Animal. I asked Eagle then if there was anything I should be told..this was a social call! :) Eagle said that I have been chosen specially to come back to the Path of the Shaman, and that I should honor that Calling by giving up feeding my body alcohol and other weakening agents that keep me from being my best. Eagle said the World desperately needed my Shaman Talents, Prayers and Ceremonies. Eagle then suggested I eat of the bright red Berries that were suddenly among the White Blossoms. I did so, and felt the elixir healing me. At the same time, the scene turned red, with Eagle also turning a bright glowing red with orange Eyes. I asked why this had happened, expecting a response to due with the East, whose color is red. Instead, Eagle told me that the Berries had allowed me to see that my lower two Chakras (colors Red and Orange) were still highly troubled and needed more cleansing. Then scene then returned to normal coloring, and Eagle invited me for a ride on its Shoulder. Off we went across the wide-open expanse. We went high, and were soon skirting the thin boundary between Space, whose Stars shone brilliant above me, and the Atmosphere, a blue line just at and below us with Earth farther down. This was the “betwixt and between” area spoken off in my latest book by Tom Cowan, and I heard wonderful Music emerging from this place where neither element controls. I saw several heads go by, but did not recognize anyone. Eagle said we were racing ahead in Time, and did I wish to witness my own Death in this life? I said yes, and I then saw two images go fleeting by. The first showed me as a very old Codger collapsing in a sunny garden. The other showed me dying on my job. Eagle then told me the choice of Deaths was mine, based on my future actions. We then flew back to the Nest. Eagle told me the Power Animal assignment to me was permanent and it would always be with me. Eagle then told me to give Azurite Energy to each of my Chakras upon returning. I thanked Eagle, and Crosses and I then headed back into the Tunnel to return, while Eagle’s strong wing flaps at the Entrance caused a warm and welcome breeze to accompany us. When we emerged into the back yard, it was dark. I thanked Crosses and headed back in, drumming myself back to this dimension. I then took my Azurite Stone and held it at each Chakra point for 4 Shaman’s Breaths at each location. As the Stone drew ever closer to the top of my head, I felt more and more LIKE an Eagle! I could sense a beak on my face, and wings along my arms! I then swept the Stone from Crown to Base Chakra several times. This concluded the Journey, and I blew out the Sacred Flame. No falling "asleep" here.. :)

Journey 60 - Attempt at dislodging Dark Force

6/17: A short but dedicated Journey to see if I can dislodge the Dark Force that grabbed my wife during my Shamanic Dream last year. I’m convinced that force is still hovering around her at times, and I determined to do a final Battle with it. I Rattled very deliberately and lit the Sacred Candle, then self-drummed. I had all my Guides with me for this one..Snake, Owl, Two Feathers, Gray Wolf and Sense All. We did not enter a Tunnel, but were immediately facing a huge expanse of pitch blackness ahead. As we moved slowly into it, our bodies became their Luminous Energy Fields, with all traces of normal physical viewing removed..just lines of blue Energy. I felt no fear, and was ready to move in. As I did, with my Protectors behind me, I saw a vague outline of a blacker shape ahead..a person’s profile. I felt my entire Energy field setting up a huge block against this Being, refusing absolutely to allow any penetration by it.. As I followed it further into the Darkness, I suddenly came to a scene at an old barn, and the Dark Being disappeared into a grave near the base of the right side, front wall of the barn. Not an ordinary burial place. I sensed this Being was the one who has attached itself to my wife, having been hounding me for years. I then fell asleep, not only because I was tired, but because of the huge amount of Energy it took to move through the Dark Place. Also, it was apparently not my time to do this Battle. I look forward to it, though.. After I awoke, I forgot to put out the Sacred Candle, so it burned an extra hour or so..no doubt to cleanse the area of any traces of darkness. Final Note: I can swear I’ve had a very similar experience in the past few weeks with seeing a Being go into its grave..but I’ve checked my recent Journeys and notes, and can find nothing. Perhaps its was in a Dreamlet..

Journey 59 - PA for C

6/12/04: A Journey to aid a good friend in her transition from Mom to college mom, for she is very shaken by it, and being revisited by “ghosts from the past” now that her prime purpose of 18 years is ending. I used Kay Whitaker’s Drum CD, a new purchase, setting it for a 20-minute trip. As I relaxed and concentrated on my Purpose, I found myself outside the bedroom window next to the clothesline, where a Chipmunk burrow entry is. My Lower World Guide, Crosses in Front, the Snake, appeared. He had Azurite eyes (!), and gave a pair to me, to help me see better. As I looked around in the yard with these new eyes, I saw the Green Spirit of the Trees and Grass, and briefly that of the Squirrels. Then we went down into the Tunnel. It was completely circumferenced with Trees and Grasses, with clear blue in the middle as we zoomed through it. As we exited into the Lower World, I saw a large Stone Person. I went to it and opened up a Sacred Space within which to treat our friend. Only part of her arrived..the part I was supposed to deal with..the rest was denied. Her mid-section was heavily girded by Imprints from her past. I called in a Power Animal..and it was a very aggressive Shark. I grounded my feet to Mother Earth as a precaution. He told me not to worry, as this aggression was required to deal with our friend’s Imprints. In my Cortex, I also saw a Being with two star-like eyes, followed by an animal of some sort hovering over her. These were no doubt Entities also attached to her Luminous Body. These will require even harder effort to dispel. But, at this point I fell asleep, and so was not allowed to work any further. At least, though, I had activated Shark for her. Key Shark Medicine: Sharks sink if they don’t keep swimming. Lesson for our friend: anytime she stops to wallow in her emotions (water), she also sinks. Keep moving! When I woke up, I realized I had not returned properly, and as I drove to the store, felt very otherworldly. So when I returned I took a second, self-drummed Journey to finish things off. I thanked the Stone Person, Shark and Crosses. As I went back up the Tunnel, the Trees had sparkling Crystal diamonds in them. I emerged onto a flat plain, versus my back yard. There I found my Azurite Stone. Her Spirit spoke with me and told me to be careful how I used my new Powers. She referred to me as Brother. Being with her was peaceful, serene, “blue.” Earlier in the afternoon, on my route, I’d seen a Cloud Person whose shape was very much like a Female head with a blue Face..no doubt a predictor that I was about to meet my Stone Spirit.

Journey 58 - New PA for wife

6/2/04: A Journey to find a new Power Animal for my wife..and to get me back on the Shamanic track. After smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I wandered out into the back yard and shape-shifted down to the size of a small insect and began walking through the blades off grass, which towered over me and were very thick and strong. It was hard to believe these solid masses of vegetation, like trees, could be crushed so easily by humans. I saw a huge (to me) Beetle go by, who asked what I thought of this ground-level world from his perspective (with a smile), and also an Ant, with its hairy legs, climbing one of those blades of grass in powerful leg thrusts, each leg sticking nicely to the blade while it barely bent under the weight..as if made of a thick rubber. I believe I did this visit in order to remind myself of my place in the existence here..every being has its Sacred Mission, including me. Bowie does his, my family do theirs, I do mine, etc. I then shape-shifted back up to normal size for a second, to find an opening. I chose the Chipmunk hole by the clothesline and down I went, and shortly after entering met Crosses in Front. We went further down the brown-sided Tunnel with Crosses in the lead, and as we progressed, the sides of the Tunnel began changing colors..solid red to solid yellow and so forth. The Tunnel went back to brown, and then we came to a grouping of rocks sticking out of the right side of the passage. I stopped at one and tried to guess what is was, as it might be a Totem for Janet. Crosses turned around and came back, smiled and said, “this is an Agate. You should get one to help your wife heal.” We then moved on and shortly emerged into a large wooded plain. The Trees were in various states of fall foliage, but the colors were much more vibrant and varied. Even the sky had several different hues, of light green, light purple and light blue. We sat down and awaited a Power Animal for my wife. I looked in the distance and saw large Tigers and Lions stalking, but to my left right near me appeared a Raccoon. She seemed very friendly and willing to help. I asked her is she would be Janet’s Healing Power Animal, and she said yes. I then saw her head over to her work office with little Raccoons in tow. I saw her’s Luminous Body at work, and saw the face of a woman hovering over it..no doubt her Guardian. I then watched as the Raccoon and her little ones disappeared into my wife’s Energy Field. Her rainbow Aura turned brighter. I saw most of the emphasis if the work was in the main torso area. I then returned to the site with Crosses, knowing my wife was in good hands. He took me for a walk along a riverbank, covered first in snow. I put my fingers into the snow and felt no cold. Suddenly the bank was covered in hot, white sand, and again I felt no sensation. Crosses reminded me that hot and cold, winter and summer, all the opposites, are here mainly as teaching tools, and not so much as objects to be coveted. He then led my upriver a bit to the most astoundingly beautiful Native village I have ever seen. The Tipis nested in the deep-green Trees were of many hues, all vibrant. Moreover, there was a feeling of Peace there that flooded me with total serenity. Crosses asked me to thank him then, for when I woke from my nap here in this glen, I would be back in my room. Raccoon Totem has dexterous and able hands, that are washed often for increased sensitivity. It lives mainly on vegetables and fruits. The main power is one of the Mask. This gives one the ability to disguise or transform ourselves into someone new. We can become whatever we want by wearing masks. I’ll have to teach my wife how to apply a metaphysical mask..

Journey 57 - Lottery Win?

6/1/04: A Journey to discover whether or not it is time for me to win the Lottery! A first for these Journeys, dealing with accumulating wealth. But that IS allowed, as long as the motives are of love. For example, Shamans of old would ask the Spirits where the Buffalo herds were, to feed the People..and back then, Buffalo WAS their wealth. So, I Rattled, Smudged and lit the Sacred Candle. As I sat on the bed thinking of my Purpose, even before the Journey really began, I saw an image of Owl arriving in which he was covered in dollar signs! I thought to myself, “very funny!” as if my purpose was being slightly mocked. But then I instantly became apologetic as I realized I may have assumed incorrectly about motive, and therefore insulted Owl by saying that. So, I allowed him to fly in so decorated, and we met on a branch on the Red Maple as I lay down and sank deeper into the Journey Drumming (self-drumming). We began to talk. Owl, still wearing dollar signs, looked at me and smiled, saying, “You know, we Spirits have a sense of humor! I’m wearing these symbols because of your wish to win the lottery. But what will you do with this money if you win it?” I told him I would pay off family mortgages, set my wife up for life, pay for the kids’ colleges, and then go to train as a Shaman with Villoldo in NY, perhaps traveling to the Andes with him. He then asked, “Do you think you are ready for this kind of wealth? Look deep into yourself and you’ll see you are still too selfish. Look at the pain you have caused recently with your complaints about time! You need further work in ridding yourself of these self-centered impulses. Would you like to Journey to do that instead of trying to win the lottery?” I answered yes, for I realized this was much more important to my Shamanic Path and therefore the security of my loved ones. Owl suddenly lost his $ symbols, and off we went into the Sky, through a Tunnel of tiny, white crystals of light swirling around us as we flew. We came out of the Tunnel to a large Tree, with a body hanging from a large branch by its hands, looking a bit like Jesus on the Cross. As we drew near, I could see it was me hanging there! “I” was sweating and scared stiff, and “I” turned to the Journeying me and pleaded for help. As Owl and I sat on this branch and looked down below, I could see what awaited my human body. Far below were fires and smoke, and vicious animals ready to eat! Owl (Eagle Claw, my Guide, of course), told me that I was now my 8th Chakra, the part of my individuality that is eternal, and keeps coming back to new lives to learn more as a Spirit. Moreover, he said I was perfectly free to release my body into the pit, and thereby free myself of my selfish urges, if I thought that best. By seeing my body this way, he went on, I could see how temporary are the events and things of my existence on Earth. “You know the expression, ‘time is money’. Remember also from your early instincts and your later training: time is an illusion. Therefore, by that logic, money is also an illusion. So it is more important to better your Spirit Self with Gifts of Love, Guidance and Healing for others.” So now I had to decided whether to let my body go. I decided instead to call in the Spirit Rain to wash my body clean of selfishness. The Rain felt so good as it fell on us and past onto my body. It became young looking again as the rain rinsed it, and the pit below transformed into a glade with grasses and trees, rising up to meet the feet of my body. I then rejoined my body, and as Owl flew along above me and then off, I found myself walking toward my house in my back yard. I thanked Owl for his wonderful intervention. I then stared at the house for a few seconds, watching it turn into a grove of woods (as it was before), and then into a smoldering pile of smoking, burned wood..its eventual fate. I tried to see if we still were the owners when this fire occurred, but it was hard to tell. It started down by the water heater, perhaps in the wall, so I will have to watch that area. I did not feel any sense of loss, and was only concerned that someone might have been in it and died. Again, I could not tell from this fleeting glance. I then came back to the room and grounded.

Journey 56 - Granddaughter's Malady

5/28/04: The second of two Journeys, this one to see if there is anything I can and/or should do to aid in one of my progeny’s speech impediment. I was instantly swept off to a Native American Village, where a young girl dressed in Deerskin clothing with jet back hair was holding my hand. I was an adult Warrior. She led me through and past the Village, out to a Sacred Tree at the edge of a forest beyond. The little Maiden was unable to speak at all, but communicated through hand gestures and smiles. She waited below while I climbed the Tree, which had many thick branches to aid in an easy ascent. As I sat on a branch about 20 feet up, I waited for a Spirit Bird to come lead me into the Tunnel. Soon one arrives, a large, gorgeous White and Gold Hawk, unlike any we have here. The Hawk landed on a branch to my right and sat, preening and cleaning. It then leaned over and peered into my eyes with one of its. It then returned to its sitting position and extended its left claw to me, which I took. We then looked up into the sky, which had many circular entry points of various colors. Hawk took me to a pink one, and in we went. After floating through the solid pink color for a while, I came to an area where there were many golden threads around me, but I was next to an area with a burned out sections, where the gold threads had singed, black ends. I realized I was inside my progeny’s brain, looking at the slight damage that was preventing her form increasing her speaking skills as quickly as we might like. I was wondering what to do to fix it, when an aside took place: I was standing on top of a porch of a large house with an overhang, looking down a large number of steps, on a cloudy late afternoon. A man was walking down the steps and went over to a clearing next to a barn. He knelt down and touched the ground. He was somber. I felt he was visiting the grave of a young daughter. He then returned to the steps, but I could not see his face as his hat blocked it while he came toward me with head bowed. I then was snapped back to my progeny’s brain-energy strands. I decided to use Shamanic Imagining to try to fix this area. I saw the area as healed, but cannot be sure if this Healing actually took place. I know I at least left the Concept there.. I then found myself looking down into a room with along table, with a female teacher talking with a single young girl. I then quickly snapped back to the room, thanking Hawk and Maiden as I drummed back. After I wrote the notes for this Journey, I realized I had never come back down the Tunnel. So, I quickly lay down and drummed back to the Pink Area, and came back out with Hawk. When I came down from the Tree, the little Maiden gave me a big hug, and then kissed me on the cheek. She then ran back to her Village, leaving me along at the base of the Sacred Tree. I’m not sure what the scene with the Man means, or of I actually caused the healing to take place, or even who the little Maiden was. But I sense, from her hug and kiss, that I had a positive effect. The scene of the teacher with a single young girl may mean that my progeny has a way to go yet before joining normal speaking society..but I think in the end she will be fine, based on how I feel at Journey’s end. But what of the scene at the grave..a past life? A future one? Since I was in her brain at the time, I assume it was one of her memories..

Journey 55 - Azurite Stone

5/28/04: First of two Journeys today, the first to find which Stone Person would be most effective for me to use in greatly enhancing my Shamanic seeing and healing abilities. I Rattled to the 7 Directions for strength and protection, smudged the room with Sweet Grass and Sage, lit the Sacred Candle, and began my Shaman Breath exercise while repeating my goal. As I lay down to self-drum, I was off into the back yard to the Red Maple. I began climbing the trunk and noticed I had turned into a Chipmunk! I climbed into a hole in the tree, and there found my Guide Owl standing over a nest with four small Owl chicks within. He asked me to feed the little ones, so I gave each a shelled sunflower seed. As I did, each turned the color of one of the Four Directions (Red, Yellow, White and Black). Owl himself became multicolored and glowing, and off we went up the Tree Trunk. The Tunnel to the Upper World was made of millions of long purple filaments of Energy. We emerged from the Tunnel into an open area covered with thousands of small Stone People. An indescribably beautiful chorus of Sound was emanating from the Stones, as if they were communicating. It sounded like a symphony of Stone! There were several larger rocks, and Owl told me to listen, for one would call to me. Soon one did, a large Tan Stone Person, calling to “Four Hawks”, just off to my left a bit and about 80 feet away. I went over and lay down on her, and fit within her curves as if she were a chair. I felt at once very much part of her, solid and permanent, and at total rest. I remember a tingling feeling extending from below my feet right up my body as I lay in bed. As we spoke, she told me her name was Mangate [research after the Journey reveals this to be an Ojibwe Tribe word meaning, “it is roomy”], and I asked her to give me the name of the Stone Person best suited for me to See and Heal with. My mind went blank for a few seconds, and then the word “Azurite” popped up. This was my special Stone Person! I then spoke with Mangate and asked what should occur if I cannot find this Stone in the Physical World. She said she would place a Spirit version of the Stone in the “brain” of my Luminous Body, next to my Visual Cortex. It is now there. I then saw several other Luminous Bodies moving toward the little Stone People on the ground. They would move into the Stone and disappear. I asked Mangate what they were doing. She told me each Stone Person was assigned to a specific Life Energy, recording each lifetime along the Sacred Path of each “person.” She told me mine was nearby, the glowing white one. She asked if I would like to visit and see some of my past lives as well as a future one. I said yes, and found myself walking over to the glowing White Stone. The Stone became quite large (I shrank?) and in I went. It was all white light within, and I saw my current body as well as the two bodies I used in the past as a Shaman. The next future life for me will be as a large, dinosaur-like bird, with a large head and wings. It will be the equivalent of our Eagle in the world in which I exist now. After that, I am to assume another humanoid form, although unlike this one. I will be a tan/flesh color, small and hunched over, with legs that are reversed from my currents ones (knees are backward). My head will be flattened, with no hair. Eyes will be large and golden. My world will have a light green sky, and the surface will have Tree-like trunks sticking out of the ground, but with no leaves. Instead, the “air” is provided by direct breathing of both the “Trees” and the Stones through holes within them. The “water” will not be liquid, but like a light jelly. It melts in ones mouth as one consumes it. I will be a Shaman in this world, also. This tells me not to expect to perfect my Walk in this Life, but I will certainly go as far as I can. I flew back through the Tunnel thanking Mangate and Owl. When we arrive back in the Tree hole, the four colored Owl-lets merged into my one Owl, whom I thanked! I shall have to go buy some Azurite, which is a common stone with a copper base. A slight chemical change turns Azurite to Malachite.

Journey 54 - Shamanic Presence Strengthening

5/26/04: A Journey to strengthen my Shamanic presence. And a most unusual one. After rattling and smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I put on the drumming CD and breathed Shamanically while repeating my goal. Even before I lay down, I found myself standing at a window with light oak wood all around, including the window frame and countertop. I was looking through clear glass at my Owl Guide in the thickly-leaved Tree Branches just outside the window. The window then split into several facets, projecting an equal number of owls, and then into many tiny facets, yielding many tiny Owls. I then ran down the steps of an open two-story living area, apparently in a house in Scandinavia somewhere. It seemed as if I were not me in this Journey. If I was, I was in a different life circumstance. I ran out to the base of the tree and began to climb it, going up as if I had the claws of a cat. When I got to the first main branch, there was a Muskrat sitting there, apparently warning me off from moving out onto the branch. I went up to the second branch and saw Owl. We sat, and I asked why the Muskrat was looking so challenging. Owl just smiled and said I would need him on this cleansing. Owl and I then began moving up a Tunnel in the Sky chock full of Golden Mana, like we were bathing in it. From here on out, I was basically dreaming small dream-lets, none of which I can really remember. It was as if any work being done was occurring behind the scenes. There was no direct involvement with me. I do recall coughing awake from one of the dreams, and at that time found myself at the very edge of the stream of gold, in outer space above the atmosphere. There were only small, occasional particles of gold at that time. As I went back down the Tunnel, though, I found the walls strewn with red and pink Roses. I recall thinking to myself, “a rose by any other name is still a rose.” I then returned to the room and thanked Owl and Muskrat. I went through the entire CD of 20 minutes, and this is all I can recall..about 4 minutes worth. Whatever else was done occurred behind the scenes. Muskrats live in water and have webbed feet, living in cone-shaped burrows next to rivers. They are smaller than Beaver but come from the same family. The only entrance is through the water. They eat vegetation and occasional shell-fish. Their fur is highly prized. They have litters of 6, 2-3 times a year, and have one family per burrow. Obviously, emotional issues rule this description, with the presence of water. Also very interesting is that they live in Tipi-shaped burrows. Whatever changes were made in me, the went straight to the emotional and Native American levels..

Journey 53 - Mom's Friend is Very Sick

5/21: Ceremony to help my mom’s friend, who is ridden with cancer. First, I smudged Woman in a Grass Dress with Sage. Then, I lit the Sacred Candle and placed it at the feet of the Woman, as I usually do when calling on her assistance. I then used my Amazon Rattle to open Sacred Space around her and me. I then took my Owl and Eagle Feathers and held one in each hand, to each side of Woman, facing her. I then asked her to journey to the friend and minister to her. She took me along! First, Woman called in a Cheetah to begin eating the cancer. I saw it move into the friend’s Luminous Body and begin consuming the disease. Then, Woman went to each Chakra and used her left hand to sweep counterclockwise through one after the other, removing the dark energies. When she flung the energy away from her hand, it turned into rainbow speckles! She spent extra time on the Throat and Sacral Chakras. After the cleansing, she re-spun all the Chakras clockwise. They returned to their normal color, albeit rather small in size. Cheetah continued to move through the Luminous zone, eating. Then, Woman closed the Sacred Space down into a tight cocoon over the friend, but left it there, like a Blanket of Energy. This, she said, was to keep the cleansing and the Cheetah in place. We then came back to the room. I thanked Woman and returned the Feather to the Pipe altar, and put the Candle out after thanking the Flame of Life.

Journey 52 - Past Relationship Healing

5/21: A quick Journey this morning to investigate any unresolved tensions arising from my early years, in terms specifically, of opposite-sex relations wounding. I had a real rocky time trying to date in college. As a Shaman, one must resolve all issues from the Past before being able to be really effective dealing with others’ past woundings. I met with my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, and we went down into a wide, brown tunnel. I recall that for some reason I turned a bright, organic pink. As we went down, about halfway to the other side, I saw a side tunnel to my right. Within were many humans, engaged in what we call today casual, or recreational, sex. They all seemed so devoid of emotion, and it was actually quite sad to see all that intense energy being expended selfishly. We then moved on, and down to the Tunnel Exit. As we emerged, to my left was a gorgeous, wooded glade, full of green and sunlight and aromas of flowers. To my right was a small log-cabin shack, resembling a train station, sitting in the mid afternoon sun. We went in there first. A man was attending to a bunch of balls of yarn suspended on hanging rollers on a wall. He explained to me that each ball represented the on-going accumulation of each experience within a person’s life. My life was the first ball he brought me to. As we unraveled the ball, the yard was made of discreet sections, each a different hue. Each hue represented an event in my life, and the yarn went well back into my past. I fingered through the sections dealing with that time in my life, pulling smoothly along the cord. He explained that there was no good to be served by snipping any sections out, but that nothing that had occurred in that period had caused any damage to me or anyone else. I then started looking at some of the other balls, but decided against unraveling them, given the insight I’d just been given. I thanked the man and walked back out. Crosses took me into the Glade, and said this was the Garden where all life procreates in the natural way. No recreational sex here, just existence as it was meant to be. He suggested I lie down and nap in this Glade, to drink in its positive energies. I did so. I saw Rabbits, Birds, and other Animals. All were living in complete peace and within the Great Spirit’s Order. It was extremely relaxing to be there, and I felt my Luminous Body being cleansed completely. I liken this Glade to the Jewish Garden of Eden, except we can still be welcomed there! After my time there, we came back up the Tunnel, and as we did I thanked my Snake Guide and the Man in the Yarn Shop. For the rest of the day I felt so completely relaxed I could have napped at any time. Instead, I forced myself out and took my mom to lunch and for a walk. She was thrilled, and so was I. This was an interesting Journey, in that I got to visit the Garden of Life..and what was so striking is how very much it looks just like this dimension’s Mother Earth.

Journey 51 - Wall of Evil

5/20/04: A Journey to discover the source of the “Wall of Evil” sensed by one of my pastor’s friends in the riverside woods along the parking lot of the church. I lit the Sacred Candle and smudged, then used the Drum CD to Journey. This was going to be a different experience right from the start. Instead of the usual beginning where I await my Guide in the back yard, I was instantly transported to the woods themselves, Guide-less. So I waited there, expecting my Owl Guide to arrive and take me to the Upper World. Owl showed up, all right, but had deep red eyes! My sense of foreboding was heightened as he came near me with extended claws, ready to sink them into my upper torso. I quickly realized this was not my Guide, and I called in protection using my Prayer Chant given me by Eagle Claw, who often takes an Owl form at first. Surrounded now by a strong Rainbow Aura, I stood and wondered. I was confused. This type of start had never occurred before. I was never even given the chance to tunnel to the Upper World. (As I write this after the Journey, I sense this was my first Journey in which I was drawn into the Middle Word, a dangerous place to go. Back to the Journey.) Shortly after I protected myself (another aside..this is the second straight Journey where I have had to surround myself with Rainbow Energy..yesterday’s was a test by Black Panther, no doubt in preparation for today’s real thing), my Seer Senses All appeared and sat a short distance away. She was somber. The area itself was also different that it looks today, much more wooded with high grasses, and the river much less intrusive. Owl remained fixed in his Tree. I told Senses All I was confused by this unusual sequence of events. And why was Owl so angry, I asked. She told me that the Owl Medicine that was once strongly honored here by the indigenous peoples (they used Owl to heal, and wore Owl Feathers in ceremony) had been dishonored when they were driven off by the peoples who were steeped in Christian Faith. The Sacred space of Owl Medicine, so to speak, had never been properly closed. The sense I got was that the Natives were forced to leave in a hurry. There was now a clash between the energies of the fresh and remnant disciplines. At this point, Senses froze..time seemed to stand still. Again I looked around in a heightened sense of nervous wonder. Sensing myself alone and still in a dangerous place, I returned my consciousness to my feet and made sure my Aural energy was firmly grounded to Mother Earth. I returned to the scene and asked Senses All what could be done. I then was told that Anne should collect any Owl images/totems she has in her house and bring them to her Altar. I was then shown the Feather on my Medicine Bundle I found a few years ago (to this day I’m not sure if it is a Hawk or Owl Feather). I saw this Feather moving to my pastor’s Altar and placing itself in her little cup. This told me the Feather was indeed from an Owl, and the Healing Spirit of the Feather was being sent to her to help her deal with this issue. I also saw her standing in the parking lot near those woods, burning a piece of paper with an Owl’s image on it. Another image that appeared showed her burning a small candle in front of an Owl’s picture. These images did not appear in a quick string, but came separately over a short time, with moments in the woods for pondering in between. I then was back with Senses All, and I saw a very large Alligator moving toward me. He stopped just short of me. I again wondered if this was an attack, but he was not baring his teeth. It was almost as if he were receiving instructions from me. I then saw him move up an ancient street that struck me as being the Via Dolorosa, the path Christ took with his Cross. Alligator disappeared and after a short time came back. The anger of the conflicting disciplines seemed to have been resolved by his action. Owl’s eyes had gone back to normal, and my sense of foreboding was gone. Suddenly, I was standing at the edge of a very steep and jagged rock cliff, looking down into a very deep River Valley. I stepped over the edge, and my Power Animal Eagle immediately flew over and grabbed me, bringing me back to the side. I was then back with Senses All. I asked which action my pastor should take. It appeared as if Alligator had already taken care of the Medicine conflict. Senses All told me my pastor was very spiritual and beyond the constraints of Christian-only mindset. Sense said she should still honor the Owl Medicine in one of the ways shown earlier, thereby asking in Prayer for the Owl Medicine to flow back to those who currently use it and need it. I then thanked Senses All, Alligator and Owl for their Guidance, and returned to the room.

The fact I was trained yesterday in establishing instant protection for myself, and then had to use that training for real today in my first-ever Journey to the more dangerous Middle World, shows me the Spirits truly know what they are doing, looking ahead in “time”..and that I have been granted access to deeper and more challenging Spirit realms due to my steady advances in my Shamanic training. Very humbling..and exciting.

Journey 50 - Helplessness Stalking

5/19/04: A Journey to see what primal Fear stalks me..a recent Dream found me back in my old house, still full of dread at some impending dire event about to befall me. I first rattled to the 4 Directions and Father Sky/Mother Earth for help and protection. I smudged the room, lit a new Sacred Candle with purple trim outside the glass bought last weekend in Canada, and began concentrating on my goal: let me meet this Fear and learn to use it in a positive way. As I lay down and began the Journey rhythm, I sensed Crosses in Front arriving in the room. He was quite the large Snake this time, and he immediately entered my body through the Kundalini Channel of the Base Chakra and took up position within me. I became skeletal as all my flesh and innards became invisible. This was a new one.. We then went out into the back yard with Crosses head sticking out of my navel. The yard was totally dark, with form barely discernible. We approached a swirling and slimy black hole in the ground at the forest’s edge. I asked that Black Panther accompany us as well, and she showed up within seconds. She brought her face very close to mine and peered into my eyes. She bared her teeth as if in anger. I held her paw and felt the sharpness of her fangs. She then reared up onto her hind legs as if to strike me. I quickly called in the Sky Powers, turning the Sky a lighter blue with stars and calling down columns of Rainbow Light to surround me. Seeing my protection in place, Panther approved of my Shaman-like self-defense efforts and quickly turned herself into a Native Maiden with jet black hair and bright, cat-like eyes, and a much more friendly disposition. :) We then went down the Tunnel together. We entered a dark glade and sat in a rock. I can see and hear the Stalking Force moving through and disturbing large grasses and bushes, never actually seeing the Force itself. But I can tell by my feelings that this IS the Force that has visited me over the years. Panther Maiden holds my hand as the Force moves in behind me and stops. She tells me it will never confront me directly. I must close my eyes and use the Visual Cortex method to see its energy. So, I study the images crossing my Cortex for a while. In several cascading images, I see one person trying to control another, or trying to control an object, and so forth. I realize this Force is a Fear of Loss of Control. It is Helplessness! That has been what has been stalking me. Those recent events that have unsettled me most: the beheading of Nick Berg, the 9-11 crashes..and the like..all involved going to physical death totally out of control. Even the early attacks of my youth, being pulled out of bed and down the stairs by my feet, involved helplessness. I then sped up the drumming to focus harder. I started to see green balls of light seeming to come out of my head and move away, and as they did so I would see images of skeletal faces. This happened at least 4 times, with each face different but vivid in detail and traced in white light amidst the green ball. Each ball went further out until swallowed up in a bright purple field, the color of highest spirituality. Eventually the images stopped emerging, leaving only the purple field, and I knew the cleansing was done. I then asked Panther Maiden how I was to use this knowledge..how can I take total helplessness and make it a Force for Good? She told me that the moments of physical, mental and emotional powerlessness were the very best times for becoming totally power-FUL as a Shaman. It is when there is no power in the other realms that Spirit is most in control. She said from now on to take those moments of helplessness and become the strong Shaman of my Destiny. Spirit supercedes all other realms..the key was to recognize this and use it for Good when all else was out of control. I then drummed back with my Guides, thanked them and grounded back into my room. As I type this, I now wonder if the skeletal faces I saw leaving me were my own faces of the fear of knowing that death was coming and I was helpless to prevent it! :) THat's where the joy derives!

Journey 49 - Be True to Yourself

5/4: A Journey in response to an inspiration I received in watching an Osprey dive into a pond after a meal. I’d been meditating earlier in the day on the concept that all things that exist were first thoughts in the mind of the Great Spirit, and that all things must therefore be totally true to themselves to fully honor the forming thought of Life’s Provider. Only humans fail in this. I felt I was being asked to seek out a message from the Spirit Camp in the same way the Osprey sought its prey. So after smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I took off, self-drumming. I was out in the back yard, and the entire world took on a violet and yellow hue. Owl arrived in three colors: Red, Green and Blue. Most of the Chakra colors were therefore present..only Orange and Purple (Sacral and Third-Eye) were absent. We sat in the Red Maple, huddling close together, as the leaves around us grew in very rapid fashion to full length. A sign that my healing will be finished by the time full bloom arrives? There then appeared a large pink dot in the Sky. We flew up into this Dot and took the Tunnel to the Upper World. At first, the Tunnel was wide, and I could see scenes of Native Life passing by me in the pink walls. Then the Tunnel narrowed and it felt as if we were traveling through an artery of the body (past life, present life). We emerged into a dark region with small brown balls suspended above us as far as one could see. We landed on the steel framework of a skyscraper, but I was not afraid of our great height. Looking inward, I saw a deep purple floor made only of light, with Eagle sitting toward the opposite corner. Eagle told me that indeed I must be true to myself, to my true calling (which is, of course, Shaman). Eagle then escorted me into a garden beyond this room where a bowl on a pedestal awaited. Eagle told me to prick the ends of my fingers each with the sharp quill end of one of his Feathers. I did so, and a small ball of blood formed on each. He then took me to the Bowl, within which was a deep purple fluid. He told me this was liquid Spirit, and I was to place my fingers within it. I did, and within seconds my fingertips were healed. Eagle told me, remember this and do it often. This was a new ritual for me to cleanse myself of all types of wounds, no doubt centered mainly in my Sacral Chakra, for which the color was missing at the start. Then, Senses All arrived and began building the pathway from my Third Eye Chakra to my Visual Cortex with her hands, to help generate this ability to see energy directly (recall this the other color missing at the start). I could feel intense energies in the front of my head as she did this. Being very tired, I was zoning out as she did this. So, I then thanked all my Guides, and returned to the room to ground myself.

Journey 48 - Visit with Dad

4/30: A most remarkably emotional Journey to the Lower World this morning, and unanticipated. I had earlier mentioned to my wife how our son’s refusal to hang with one of his friends because of excessive alcohol use reminded me of the time I had rejected my best friend at around his age for the same reason. She took this comment to launch a forceful explanation on how she is the only one who should take credit for our son’s actions, and that I little to do with any of the wise decisions he is now making. I was totally unprepared for this (even though I have seen it before), and it wounded my Aura, thereby reactivating an Imprint in my Luminous body which I soon thereafter recognized as having been with me for years. I have, since I can remember, always reacted with emotional resentment and anger when anything to do with my performance in any arena has been assaulted, questioned or undermined by anyone. And thinking of this incident this morning and my reaction to it, I knew I had to get to the source Wounding to finally rid myself of this constantly-triggering Imprint that has poisoning my Aura and Chakras over and over. And I had to do it NOW. So off I went, and I knew right away this would be a different Journey. After Smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I used the drum CD. I was not out back this time, but immediately carried into a wooded/flowered area, vibrant with color and pleasant aromas. It was gorgeous. Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide, emerged from a Tunnel entrance in front of me, for the first time wearing a Crown made of glistening Diamonds! Whoa!” I thought to myself, “something is up!” I met with Crosses and asked to be taken to the source Wounding that had left this deep Imprint in my Luminous Body. In fact, I humbled myself before Crosses, almost begging meekly on my knees, and in deep gratitude. Crosses led me down a very resplendent tunnel, lined with numerous, variously-colored Crystal Wands parallel to the floor as far as the eye could see. Down and down we went through this Wonder of Light. We emerged into a rather formless area, where my new Guide, Senses All, was waiting for me. Her eyes were like diamonds, and she likewise had a small crown. I told her I wished to be taken to the Source Wounding, and she took me by the hand and led me into a swirling mass. As we penetrated, Events from my Life went by me. Each was an example of how this Imprint had wounded me and caused anger and hurt. Back and back we went, past my teen years. We then came to a small room with a computer terminal in it(!), and Sense All showed me a long list of Imprint-inspired Chakra poisonings. She smiled and said she wanted me to feel more comfortable in a setting I’m used to in this life as I reviewed my history. :) As the list went further back into my early days, Senses All took me by the hand and led me back into the Swirl of Time. She took me back into the basement of my old house. I saw my Father working at his work bench. He was working on his car engine (he rebuilt it every winter when I was a baby). My mother had let me come down to be with him and walk around a bit (so I must have been two or so). I had picked up a small can of oil and was bringing it to him when it spilled. My Father was always quick to frustration and so yelled at me, telling me to leave things alone, not to help. I felt the Original Wounding occur. I ran and was crying. I now understood why as an older boy and young teenager I had such dread about going down those stairs into the cellar. Senses All then cornered me and told me that we were going to replay this incident, but this time, after the oil spill, I was to react differently. With love and forwardness. Therefore, after the spill, I ran to my Father’s legs and held them tight. I said I was sorry (at least in my mind), that I was only trying to help him. He picked me up, held me to his chest, and said it was OK. It felt SO good to hug him again, I burst into tears..right in the middle of my Journey (a first). I held him tighter and tighter, saying how good it was to be with him again, and how much I loved him. I asked him to forgive me for all the times in the future when I would refuse to help him happily because of this Original Wounding. I then told him I had to get back to my time, that I would be a much better Shaman for having come back to erase this Imprint. I held him so long, and told him I would see him again in the Spirit Camp, but it was wonderful to have held him again. I kept saying, “I love you!”, over and over, in fresh tears. Senses All then took me and said, we now will seal off the Imprint forever. She placed her hand over the Wounded area and the Imprint dissolved. She brought that part of my Luminous Body back to wholeness. I turned and looked at my Father one last time, tears welling once more. He had become a Luminous Body himself, no longer the physical Robe I was accustomed to. I turned with Senses All to begin the Journey back. I was very grateful to her, but a bit too overwrought to say so. But she knew, and I have thanked her since. She led me back to Crosses, who brought me back up the Tunnel to the grove. Crosses told me to sit a while amidst the Trees and drink in their Luminous Energy. As I did so, I became each Tree, and looked over to see myself sitting there. It was very soothing to sit in the Tree Life Forces. Crosses then led me back to my room where I grounded, eyes still wet.

Journey 47 - Alcoholic Visitor

4/28: A quick and simple Journey to remove an alcohol-craving that is still embedded within my Luminous Body. My assumption was that it is in my heritage. This came ot me last night as I watched Alberto talk of a similar incident in one of his Student’s healings. I felt that I needed to perform a soul-release ceremony on an ancestor who had an acohol-related eath, so his Luminous Body could finally escape to the Blue Road and beyond to the Spirit Camp. So after smudging and lighting the Sacred Candle, I relaxed and breathed while chanting my intention to myself. I soon found myself out back at the entrance to the Lower World Tunnel, and there was a very tiny Owl waiting for me. I shape-shifted down to his size, but he did not accompany me in. He was standing guard. Snake appeared from within the Tunnel, just as blue lines of Energy versus the traditional physical form. We went down together, and very soon were in an all-blue world with no delineation at all. We came to a bunch of bones and ashes lying on the “ground”, upon which sat a figure, all Energy, as if pensive, chin on hand. I asked him to move aside so I could release him. I assumed this was my ancestor, but a face flashed before me that was totally unknown to me. Young, short brown receding hair, and glasses. He stared at me, almost expressionless. Recall I dealt with my GF in an earlier Journey and thought I had freed him then, so apparently I had. Snakes waited off to my right. I then called in Sacred Space by praying to the 7 Directions. I then extended Sacred Space over the remnants of the body. I then walked to the side and began unraveling each Chakra. When done, I sensed that nothing much had happened, and just assumed it had worked. But it was a bit dull-ending. I closed both Sacred Spaces and drummed back. It was while I was back in the room, thinking about what had happened, that I realized that I had un-spun the Chakras in the wrong looping pattern, the reverse one. I had done it wrong! I quickly drummed myself back to the scene and re-created Sacred Space as before. This time I began to use the correct loop pattern, as every loop has to end up at the heart. Also this time, Eagle Claw was there to my left side, giving me protection, strength and guidance. I went through all the Chakras, un-spinning them and then taking them to the heart. I then pushed on the “feet” to cause the Luminous Body to release into the air, which it did as a deep-purple blob. I watched as this blob took on a human-body form and walk away. I then saw the bones and ashes disappear. I did not close off each Chakra with an “X”, the traditional ending to this Ceremony, as this person had been dead for quite a while, and was more attached to me than to its own body. Recall it was sitting on it, not trapped within it. The fact the remains vanished also shows it was not required. I then closed the Sacred Spaces and returned, thanking my guides. Thinking a little later about who it might have been, I believe I was invaded the very first night I got so drunk and fell asleep in the snow. While I survived, I think a Spirit of someone who didn’t moved into me. It has been with me ever since. Until today. So now I know my craving for alcohol is gone, and as I walked on the treadmill I felt again like the person I was in my mid teens, with no interest whatsoever in the stuff. I will still drink socially, but that is all.

Journey 46 - Emotional Wounding

4/23: A Journey to reduce and eliminate my tendency to sustain emotional wounds and to act therefore. Last night, I was quite unshamanic in spreading malicious gossip concerning and ex and future coach of ours, followed by a very aggressive response to my wife’s suggestion that I spend this morning picking up our new mattress (raining, so it was off anyway). I told my daughter last night I knew I still had weaknesses in this area, and I decided to confront them this morning. I smudged the room and lit the Sacred Candle after creating a Sacred Space by Rattling in the Powers of the 6 Directions. I began the Journey outside in back, where a Tunnel appeared in the dirt from Crosses in Front (Snake) burrowing up to meet me. His dark, uniform Spirit eyes viewed me as he broke into a Smile. By this time I had been transformed into my Energy Body only, and I could look down to see that I was crippled by a gaping hole in the lower portion, a large funnel narrowing into my body, through which emotional spears could easily enter and hurt me. We went down the Tunnel, lined in Green rings, and came out onto a forested area with beautiful pink/white flower carpets, tall Standing People, and nice fresh air. I stood and waited, hobbled over by my infirmity of Spirit. A large male appeared out of the woods and approached me. One by one, he took me through various aspects of my emotional life through which I had been and still can be wounded. First was my tendency to not completely honor the Female Spirit, even now, by not taking in the full breadth and beauty of the Female view, or by transferring MY views onto THEM to make it appear as if they were theirs, in order to justify myself. I was taken to a group of Feminine Spirits to my right, sitting around in a Circle. I stood before them and explained my behavior patterns. My tendency to view women in too physical a way, which was very strong when I was young, was still there now, albeit in a much reduced way..and still a potential source of occasional wounding caused by bringing back the feelings of the early days. They then lowered me to the ground, on my back, and uttered prayers while sending loads of energy from their fingertips into my Aura, to fix that portion of the entry funnel that was allowing wounding in this area. They sealed off that part of my Aura, allowing a healthy and correct attitude toward all of the Feminine Ways. I was then taken to a group of Children to my left, all screaming uncontrollably for their own way, unrelenting in not allowing others’ views in. My male Guide told me I was STILL like this..even though I wear the veneer of understanding to the outside world, internally I still thought in many ways of my own needs first..and then had the gall to attack others for that same property in their make-up. This area of wounding was sealed by the children gathering around me, as I was instructed to truly put others’ needs first: the Shamanic Way. Next I was taken back to see the teenagers in my high school, just to the right of center of me, who had taunted my outlooks and behaviors and friendships, to be shown that this is the a normal part of the human condition. No amount of wishing can change how we are when young, which brings a vital behavior in the building up of the adult human Spirit. One cannot be wounded by such action when one realizes that the attacker has no real choice..too underdeveloped. The teenage Spirit was healed in my Aura, so that I am able to allow such attacks from anyone with no wounding. I was then taken to a grouping of rich people to my right, who likewise were shown to have no choice in their actions. Collection of wealth was their Sacred Path, and they had to answer for their own Spiritual growth. It was up to me to allow their Paths, not hate them and resent them for it, or to take their lack of caring personally. My Aura was sealed concerning this wounding potential. Finally, I was allowed to view all these groupings of People as Spirit Energy only, and while some had lesser Spirit boldness than others, we were all nonetheless all the same in our bold blue lines of flowing Power. We then all came together and embraced as a unified force of both human and eternal Spirit. I was allowed to feel total Love for each and every one. I then thanked my male Guide, Crosses, and returned to my room to contemplate this amazing visit. What was interesting is that wounding by co-workers and immediate family members was NOT included in the Aura healing. This shows I have already taken control of these aspects of my Spiritual Health, and am dealing with them correctly. I am not surprised, since I feel I have grown to meet these occasional challenges quite well.