Journey 122 - Tell Mom?

11/12/04: My second Journey was to finally get an answer as to whether I should tell my Mom, a fairly devote Christian, about my Shamanic Journey. I have conflict here as well, for I know she is sad we no longer go to church to seek oneness with her God, and worries about the effect of this on us and our progeny. I would love to let her know that I have discovered the True Path, and have seen more of the Spirit Terrain and Helpers than any Priest has ever allowed her to even know of, let along experience. So, off I went, the Room still cloaked in Sacred Space from my first Journey earlier today. This time, Barred Owl (Eagle Claw when in human form) came to me on a small Branch that had an orange and a red leaf on the end. He then sent me off to climb a Tree in my old neighborhood that I had climbed to the top of several times as a 10 year old. I found myself clambering up this fine Tree one more time. When I got to the very top, I seemed to have broken through a barrier of some sort. All around me and all the way to the horizon was a sea of white, wavy, milky mist. Owl then came by and scooped me up, taking me up toward a single Cloud Person that developed a hole in it. Through this hole we went, and were inside a Tunnel made of thin, gleaming silver slivers streaming by us. We exited the Tunnel and came into a Room lined completely in plush blue velvet. On one wall was my Mother’s Wedding picture, with numerous pictures going back in time of her ancestors layered outwards behind it. On the adjacent wall was an early shot of my Dad, with his ancestors going back in time and distance as well. Then, my Mother’s Mother appeared to me. I began speaking with her, and told her how nice it was to see her again. She moved easily now and could see and speak well..not how she was the last time I saw her looking like this. I asked her whether her Daughter/my Mother would receive the news of my Shamanism well. She took me on a little imagery tour in which I was shown that my Mom is quite content in her adopted religion. I saw her smiling as a younger woman, about the same time frame as my Tree Climbings. I saw her as she is now, sitting in her Church, praying. I was told she has lived this long because she truly believes in Jesus and Guardian Angels (as you may know, I know for a fact she has one, having met her recently in a Journey). She is quite content in this knowledge, and one of or both of two things would happen if I, unwelcomed, told her of my Sacred Calling: her Faith would be altered and possibly weakened, and/or she would begin stealing Power from me by asking questions like, “So should I go out and start lighting Fires and Dancing around them? Which Tree should I worship?” I then asked my Grandmother how I can reconcile keeping such an important development in my life a secret from my Mom like this. My Nana then told me that I have been keeping this a secret from almost everyone! Brothers and sisters, friends, co-workers..so why should my Mom be any different? Each person is in their own Sacred Path, and for me to tell my Mom would violate hers. As in all things, if the opportunity ever comes up and she asks, then I would tell her, just as I would any others in my Circle of Life. Realizing we were done, I thanked my Grandmother and Owl and I headed back down the Tunnel to the top of the Tree, and from there I came back to the room.

Right after this, I checked with my new Deer Bone Journey Tool to get a quick reading on an upcoming storm. I imagined the Bone in my hands and whistled through it as taught a few days ago four times. I then went within and looked at the falling snow. I was given a total accumulation that is slightly less than expected..but a number I feel is quite reasonable. It is marvelous to have this “mini-Journey” capability..a gift of maturity that one could possibly liken to a Bah Mitzvah for a Jewish young man. a dramatic and welcome step forward as my ability to be the transmitter of Sacred Spirit Knowledge grows. For that, in a nutshell, is the definition of a Shaman.

Journey 120 - The Bone

11/9/04: A Journey taken discover the Uses and Meaning of the 4-inch by 1.5” section of large Bone that was placed in the crux of my Epiphany Tree a few days ago, not long after the second Hawk landing therein. This piece of Bone just showed up, and was wedged in between two Trunk sections as if placed there by intending hands. I was and still am convinced this was a Gift from the Little People. It is a very old Bone, and has teeth wear marks on one side. I have recently performed my first Soul Retrieval, and have been reading a new book on this subject in which it is mentioned that certain Shamans used to use pieces of Bone for..you guessed it, Soul Retrieval! Moreover, the concept of a Shaman as a Hollow Bone..that is, the transmitter of Spirit Help, not the Cause..has been emphasized recently as well (I’m reading the Sandra Ingerman book), and is a concept I often use in my morning Prayers when asking to be effective in my Shamanism. It’s a concept Fools Crow brought to me several years ago via his books. Anyway, I let the Bone sit there in the Tree a few days, and then asked the Tree if I was meant to actually take it and place it in my Medicine Bundle. I got a resounding “yes”, and did so. That was yesterday, the same day as my visit with the Grandfather of the East. So today I wanted to investigate this precious Gift even more. For all I knew, it might have been a piece of my own leg Bone from 900 years ago, dug up to give me Power. I didn’t really care where it was from, though..what mattered was the Little People had brought it to me as a sign that my Training was going very well, and I was ready for the next, more involved level.

So I smudged the Room, lit the Sacred Candle, Rattled in Sacred Space, and was off. I sensed Owl flying in immediately, wearing a cloak of bright Purple light, Purple being the color of high Spirituality. He took me quickly over to a scene I remember well: my old Altar when I was Rains Again 900 years ago. But he pulled me away almost as quickly and we went into the Woods for a way. There, I found a young Rains Again (former me) bending over his first Deer kill, weeping. I moved into my Rains Again body to get “his” perspective. The Spirit of Deer appeared to my right, tall and graceful, a beautiful Woman with Doe eyes. She told me not to cry, that she was giving me the Gift of Deer Medicine. This meant I would have great sensitivity and gentleness for the rest of my evolutionary Lives. She said this would cause me to suffer a lot of hurt and rejection at the hands of people who would attack me and/or make fun of me..certainly how I felt as a child and young adult in this Life! But Spirit of Deer also told me that when I finally was able to overcome these feelings of hurt by walking the Shaman’s Path of Knowledge concerning how it is the other person’s problem, not mine, that was causing them to so act, she would send me a section of her leg Bone. And this is when I realized that this old Bone I now had in THIS Life was that Gift..a sign of Healing.

Now, Owl quickly took me back to the Altar of long ago, and we looked up. The entire scene..forest, sky, light..was merging into a huge swirl of Color, as if dissolving into a tube. This was our Tunnel to the Upper World, and up we went. We past layers of Light interspersed with periods of dark.. We went way up to a Land of Trees and old, Greek-looking buildings..and then even higher. We were now sitting on the surface of the Sun itself The surface was roiling, waving and boiling with intense white light, and yet it was not hot or blinding. Owl pointed out the face that Grandfather of the East was now approaching..this was his Home! Grandfather spoke to me concerning the Bone. He said I should use it to take mini-Journeys, by either staring into it or holding it up to my ear, depending on the type of info I wanted. He taught me a short Whistle to use to call in the Spirits, which I memorized. He then told me to walk inside the Bone to test it out. I asked him if I could use It to look at a good friend’s son’s Aura..the 12-year-old boy has become a real challenge for my friend, and can barely stay in school due to terrible behavioral problems. He said I could. I looked and soon saw the Boy, and that most of his Aura was depleted. He had been raided and reduced numerous times, and was barely present as a Spirit. I moved in closer and circled around him. I saw three tiny remnants of Power Animals: Frog, Lizard and Spider. This told me he had loads of Female Medicine originally, but his Mom no longer lives with him..only his Dad is at home. He’s lost these. I then saw a large PA hovering over his back, but quite transparent. Giraffe! Again, a strong tie to Motherhood. This boy desperately needs a Mother Spirit. I was then told that I could not intervene in this case unless the Father specifically asked me. I asked Grandfather to send the Father, my friend, emissaries to ask him Spiritually to contact me about this, either through a Dream or a Hunch. I then slipped further into the Mists of Spirit’s Upper World, and came out with two images I remember: an object resembling a Woman’s hand-held make-up mirror with a totally black surface where reflection should have been, and a young boy rolling on a carpet in a bright living room, next to a coffee table. The former tells me he has about zero for self-esteem, the latter that he has somehow lost his childhood too early. I then thanked all the Spirits involved in this Journey, and the Drum Call Back sounded soon thereafter. I hope my friend hears my Helpers’ calls.

Journey 119 - Grandfather of the East

11/5/04: A Journey taken outside (a rarity) this afternoon while sitting on a swing with my sleeping Granddaughter. Temps were in the mid 60s and the winds were nicely dancing. A Chickadee walked down the trunk of the Tree we were next to, and stopped to look at me for a few seconds. It was no more than 2 feet away. So I knew I was one with my surroundings, and had been wanting to take this Journey earlier in the day anyway. Since I did not have an “official” Drum source with me outside, I used the Book on Soul Retrieval I was reading to establish the Beat to the Spirit Camp. I had dreamed of a very large Eagle circling over me a few nights ago, and came to realize afterwards it was the Grandfather of the East himself. Since then, I had felt the need to just go and “chill” with him, as it had been a while since I had taken a Journey for the simple of purpose of just “being there.” These “non-working” Journeys are necessary to help recharge the batteries for when important Healing work comes along. So, with my sleeping Spirit Rain next to me, off I went. I immediately found myself sitting in a Sunlit Field of Flowers with warm Breezes and superb aromas..and I was a little kid of 4 or 5 again. I was laughing for Joy, simply because it felt so good to just be alive in this spot. How we miss this spontaneous and delight-filled Laughter in the modern adult world. I’d run a bit and fall down laughing among the Flowers..it was really relaxing and centering. Soon, I saw the large Eagle coming toward me, and I knew it was the Grandfather Eagle. He came to me and clutched me to his chest, but his Claws felt like huge Hands..very comforting and supportive. We flew up a short distance into the sky so that we were just above the lowest passing clouds, and the Field below, with the little pillows of snow-like Cloud People drifting across, was stunningly beautiful. He then soared higher, and as we passed the very high Clouds, I looked down to see a large blue Lake below. It was a bit less vibrant, only because of the thin later of high Cloud through which we were looking. He then took me back down, and we landed in his Nest, sitting on a large Branch sticking out of the near-top of a steep rock-faced cliff. He placed me gently in the Nest, and I began playing with the golden strands of Straw, which seemed to glow by themselves. It was such fun to just pick on the Strands and move them about and through each other. Then Eagle began to speak to me. He told me his Dream Visit had indeed been a sign that I was reaching a new level of sophistication in my Shamanic Walk. He told me I had been doing very well in my Journeys for the Sick, Dying and Soul-lost. The Spirits were pleased with my honest efforts. He then looked me in the eyes and told me he was going to release to me, as my “reward”, an Original Secret, an Ancient bit of Truth. He then showed me a symbol. He told me this was the basic Element of Love..it’s atom, if you wish to use a physical relationship. This was the building block of Love, its smallest existence. Everything, he said, is built from these little Love-designs. Then, in an incredible gesture of support, he placed my Shaman Symbol (the “S” with a dot within each of the inner loops, with a parenthesis mark in the NE quadrant) WITHIN the symbol for elemental Love. This told me that my Shaman’s Walk was now in Tune with Love..and I knew right away that would give me even greater ability to seek the Truth and Healing for those who come to me. I was so honored and humbled. Having shown me this, Grandfather then brought me back to the Field and dropped me off. As he flew away, he turned and morphed into human form for me. He was dressed in a very elegant buckskin suit, and his eyes shown with the brightness of the Sun. Those two Suns, staring right at me, however, did not hurt my eyes, and I felt privileged to look into them for a short time. He then turned and went back to his place in the East. I drummed myself back to the swing. I was SO relaxed and peaceful, and the “real” world sat before looking the same but somehow quite different. It was a wonderful and empowering Journey, and I now had a vital ancient Secret given to me. Shortly after this Journey was over, a Hawk came sweeping out of the NE (same direction as my symbol), and flew around in the low northern Sky for at least 4 minutes, looping in circles as it outlining a Chakra. I decided to Shape Shift a bit with the Hawk, and sent my Hawk Awareness out to it. Within a few seconds, I saw it move up to a certain point in the Sky and just hang there motionless. It was riding the Winds such that it has no motion. It was as if it was pausing to be with ME also! Then, Hawk moved off to the North and soon disappeared beneath the Tree Line. A truly, almost achingly wonderful experience..

Journey 118- Fighting the Cold Virus

11/5/04: A Journey taken to try to strengthen my wife’s and my immune systems so we don’t catch a bad cold, as we have two very important social events in the next week, and people have spent money on us to give us a thank you for earlier kindnesses. The room was already in Sacred Space from two Journeys already today, and so I lit the Sacred Candle once more, Smudged and set up a 10-minute Journey Drum segment. As I segued into my Journey, I saw Crosses coming toward me. It was deep twilight, and she was outline in a thin but brilliant gold. Warm breezes were pushing down tall Grasses of several feet high, in beautiful waves. I saw shapes moving through the air…hints of other Spirit Bodies moving by us in the Sacred Winds. Crosses and I went to a small Fire burning in a small dirt patch, and as we sat we were joined by my wife! This was a first..having her actually come into one of my Journeys voluntarily. She quickly went from her human form to Spirit form, and I could see some of the issues attached to her that need my eventual attention (these have been catalogued in earlier Journeys). As she came in close to me, as if demanding I witness and do something about them, I told her, “I’ll get to them honey..I know..”. She then returned to her human form but quickly darted out of the scene..as if to let us know she is still not ready to join the Journey Path. Then, Crosses and I noticed a light blue shaft of Light rising from an area in the swaying Grasses beyond, and so we headed toward it. Beneath us, darting through the Grasses on the ground, were Frogs, brightly lit from within. Around us darted Dragonflies, also lit from within and quite brilliant also. We reached the Tunnel of Light and headed down to the Lower World for my sought-after empowerment. Within the Tunnel was the aroma, very strong and intoxicating, of Flowers. As we emerged from the Tunnel, we were very small indeed! We crawled along the Ground, where Blades of Grass looked like huge, thick green columns. We came to a plant stalk, looking 20 feet wide in our perspective, and found ourselves melting into it at the near-atomic level..we were REALLY tiny now! Within the stalk, among many strands of green molecular matter, were two strips that were shining white and gold. I knew instinctively that these were the parts of the Plant that produce an immune response in humans..and what I had come after. They were close to being strands of DNA. I took the two Strands and we headed back. We passed Pebbles that looked like Boulders, and a Beer Flip top that looked like an aluminum pool edging. We went back up the Tunnel and headed back to the Fire. As we moved along, a lit Frog jumped up and went right into my Mouth and into my Body. Frog Medicine!! As we continued, I looked up to see Birds flying along (Geese, I believe), also lit from within, as it seems all moving things in this world were. Time seems to have stood still, for the sky brightness, such as it was, was the same as when I had arrived. Crosses handed me a Rattle, and I danced my Eagle Dance around the fire, in great Thanks. I swallowed my Strand of Healing material, and then went up into our house to give my wife hers, force-fed without her knowing. The colds counteracted, I gave thanks to Crosses and Frog and the other Helpers, including Plant..and right on cue the Call-back sounded. Exactly the right time yet again. And now, just as I finish this write-up, my granddaughter has brought two toy rattles out, and we have just spent about two minutes of continuous rattling. A first for us, and a sign that she, also known to me as Spirit Rain, in starting to feel the Calling.

Dragonflies have to so with transformation and new vision, illusion-free. Frog deals with emotion, making one more sensitive to others feelings, and well as being tied to Lunar Energies, particular striking in that Grandmother Moon recently placed a Moon within me..and know Frog has jumped in as well. Frog is also the Totem of coming into one’s own, releasing the creative Energies. Frog also deals with control of the Weather..perhaps I should learn to Shape Shift to Frog as well.

Journey 117 - Cleansing a Dying Mom

11/5/04: A Journey taken to finish the task of cleansing our dear friend's dying Mom’s Chakras. We were told yesterday that she has been moved, miraculously (!) to a wonderful nursing home right next to the Ocean, with an Ocean View. I decided it was time to finish the job I began in a Journey a few weeks ago. So with Sacred space still open from an earlier Journey today, I lit the Sacred Candle and began a 10-minute Drum Loop. My Lower World Guide Crosses in Front, the Snake, came to me. She was the color of the Sky, blue with white Cloud People floating across her skin in real time. Stunning, as if made of real Sky. She led me across a field of flowing, bent-over, green Grasses..at first I was moving like a very old man and felt such, but soon was sprinting with her in a fast run as a young man. We came to an abrupt halt in a small clearing where a small Stone Person sat. This Stone was at one time a light maroon, at others a gray with golden Specks. There was a very tiny ant hole next to its base, and Crosses and shrank down to enter this Tunnel. At first I felt a bit confined, but further shrinkage allowed us easy travel. We arrived in a small Cave, with Stone People on the floor with Water standing between them. At the far edge of this small Cave sat our friend’s Mom in a throne-like chair. She had three Spirits, one to either side and one behind. The one behind was her son, met in a recent Journey. I went over and introduced myself, Crosses, and my purpose. They knew I was there to help, so they allowed me to move behind Mom, so reclining back to me. They moved to her sides. I put my hands on the Deepening Points on the back of her skull for a few seconds, then opened a wall of Sacred Space fore and aft, and to the sides, to protect all of us there from intrusions. I then placed my fingers on her Release Points, and asked her to repeat the following lines with me, which we did for a while, over and over: I am Spirit, I am Life, so I can rest..” After a while, I saw the Spirits working with her Chakras to help open them for sludge removal. We saw the dark mist of her life-long-gathered negative Energies gather in a pool at her feet, then drain down into the Rocky Water area. Once the process was complete, and her Spirit Body was totally clean, we saw her Spirit Body lift out of her Physical Body a bit, before settling back in. Not time yet.. While up, she said hi to her mom and dad as well as her son..so that’s who the other two spirits were. I moved around to her right side and took her right hand in my hands. I spoke to her, and among the things I said were that she can now fully relax for the rest of her stay on Earth, and enjoy the ocean and sky, full of Feminine Energies; that she was now totally cleansed, no more fears or regrets or anger. She would soon walk back into the Spirit Camp, and although we’ll miss her form, we will always be grateful for all the little things she did in Life to make things better for so many. Her Life has been a success. I told her my goodbyes, that I would more than likely not be back with her as a Shaman Spirit in this Life. I then turned and took Sweet Grass and lit it, sweeping it over the dark Energies on the Rocky floor, and watched them transmute. Crosses and I then came back up the Tunnel and back to the Room. Just as we had done this, the Call Back sounded..once again perfect timing. I thanked Crosses and grounded back.

Journey 116 - Assist in Soul Retrieval

11/5/04: A special Journey taken to assist Ooszhiwieja in retrieving the little Piece of Soul that was taken from the Niece as described two Journeys ago. I Smudged the Room and Rattled, asking that I learn from this experience and be made stronger. I also asked that my Helpers Owl and Snake, and my Power Animal Eagle, be allowed to come along as I Rattled to open up Sacred Space and to strengthen my Spirit Body. I then lit the Sacred Candle and began Shamanic Breathing while concentrating on my goal of helping Ooszhiwieja retrieve the Niece’s Soul Piece. Soon, I found myself standing on a wide, wind-swept expanse, with a gray overcast, with Owl to my left and Snake to my right. Eagle began by standing on my left shoulder, but was soon circling a short distance over us as I called out to Ooszhiwieja with my Name and Purpose. It took several minutes for “O” to arrive. I saw a figure in the distance, standing perfectly still, and recalled that the name Ooszhiwieja meant Forever Still. So we walked up to the figure, which went through several quick transformations (a Man-Spirit, Darth Vader(!), an Indian Warrior with Feather in hair..finally settling on a small Native girl in a very light gray Deerskin outfit, beaded in blue frill). I felt at this time that perhaps Forever Still was trying to find an image that would work best with me for this particular Journey. I was quite surprised but thrilled, however, to find a small girl of 7 or 8 standing there before me. It was the last type of Spirit I would expect for such a dangerous job..a reflection of my own failings of expectations, and therefore a good Lesson for me. She took out her Medicine Bundle and spread it and its contents out before us on the Ground. There was a Rattle, a Crystal Wand, Sage and Sweet Grass. She picked up the Wand and placed it within herself in a manner I found shocking (human sensitivities again), but obviously designed (as I muse in post-Journey analysis) to heighten to the max the Female Power of the Wand. After all, this was a Spirit Being, not a human. Obviously the Female Entity were we after was very strong herself. Forever Still then taught us a small song to begin singing, which we all did. By this time, my two Guides had assumed their human shapes. The chant went something like this: “Ihna, Ihnatahni, Ihnatinni, Ho uhh oh”, but as I tried to remember it after the Journey, I cannot be certain. Therefore, this was not a Power Song for me to use, but Forever Still’s. As we chanted, Forever took the two Herbs into her hands and blew on them in our direction. The Herbs immediately tuned into a rich and color-filled Smoke that engulfed the three of us. She then took us into a tight Circle and we began dancing around, holding each others hands in a closed loop. Shortly, a green pool formed within our Circle on the Ground. As we danced, the pool became more agitated, with tiny wavelets cresting over as if whipped up in a strong wind. Then, in the center, appeared the Cabin in the Past that the Entity who stole the Soul had retreated to. Soon, we were standing just outside this Cabin. We saw the Entity within, moving around the confines unrestricted. We went to the window, and Forever took the Wand and pointed it inside. The Entity came to the window and scanned us with her red eyes, as she had done in the bedroom in the prior Journey..she knew we were there. She began zooming around the room in tremendously fast zig and zags, trying to avoid the outstretched Crystal Wand. But to no avail. Soon the black Energy flowed into the Tip as we heard a loud wailing. We then left the Cabin and returned to the Plain. The next part of the Journey is a bit fragmented..I recall seeing a bunch of faces of various types and skeletal revealings passing across my visual cortex..perhaps the former lives on the entity? The next scene I remember is being back in the Niece’s room, watching Forever take her Wand and begin to separate the Entity within from the piece of Soul she had taken. She did this by taking a Feather and sweeping down the Wand from tip to base over and over. Eventually we could see the two Energies split. Forever then tied a red thread about 1” from the base to keep the Energies separate. She then held the Wand Tip to a Candle and began to release the Entity back to the Spirit Camp. As the Entity exited the wand, we could see her full, human shaped Aura hovering in the air above the Candle. She put her hands together in a prayer pose (actually, an Energy balancing move), and then dissolved, finally on her way home. Forever then took us back to the plain, where she began to spin like a tornado of rainbow colors, and herself disappeared. This left me and my three Helpers to sit a few seconds and contemplate what had happened. I thanked Forever Still and my Guides for their help. I then realized I hadn’t seen Forever restore the missing Piece of Soul to the Niece. Perhaps she had done this when I wasn’t looking? I didn’t like the uncertainly in this. Suddenly I looked down and there was the Wand at my feet. I picked it up and looked within it and saw the most beautiful fragments of golden light imaginable..the Soul Piece was still in there! Owl, Eagle and Snake then rushed me back to the house lawn from where we had taken the Tunnel to the Upper World to watch the theft in the prior Journey. We took that same Tunnel and were very quickly back in the Room, the Niece still lying on her back beneath her blanket, asleep. I took the Wand and went over to her side. I un-spun her Solar Plexus Chakra, then took the Wand and rapidly re-spun it clockwise, as the Soul Energy poured back into the Niece. We then stepped back. The Call Back Drum sounded right at this instant, so the exact amount of time required to do this Journey had transpired, as usual. As the Call Back sounded, I spread my hands over the Niece again and again to strengthen her Spirit Body, to prevent other such raids. After feeling I had done this enough to be successful, I came back to the Room with my Guides and grounded. As I lay there, post-Journey, I saw bright green ovals of green light with purple centers forming on my Cortex and then shrinking off into the Distance, becoming tiny White Clouds before disappearing. This happened perhaps 7 times. I thought of it as Healing Energy being pumped through me and into Spirit Cloud form to be blown over to the Niece. Finally, I still have more training to do before attempting Soul Retrievals on my own..it will be interesting to see if any of the techniques employed by Forever Still become part of my Ritual.

Journey 115 - The Wife

11/3/04: A Journey taken to visit with a hotel owner’s deceased wife, who passed quite suddenly and violently earlier this year. Her presence was really missed during a recent visit, and I asked before going to bed the night we were there for her to send me a sign if she wished to visit with me. That night, I dreamed I came across a broken Crow wing lying on the ground. Upon awakening, I realized that had to be her signal to meet because it involved my messenger Bird, Crows, a motif that has been used in the same respect in recent weeks, and because she had lost an arm in the accident that took her life. So today, after Smudging, Lighting the Sacred Candle and Rattling in the 7 Directions to open up Sacred Space, I went into my Shamanic Breathing, and set the Drum CD for 10 minutes. Even before the Drumming began, I found myself buried up to my eyes in the Earth, with Owl on one side of me and Snake on the other, my Upper and Lower World Guides, respectively. They were kicking around the dead leaves surrounding me, clearing a view of the large Field before me. A barn with a white horse fence was off in the distance straight ahead, and off to my right was a thinned out Forest. As I looked into the Field, I could see the wife walking frantically back and forth. She seemed to be wearing a light green jacket and slacks..possibly not the outfit she was in when she died, but no doubt the one she felt most herself in. I then found myself shooting up into the Air from the Ground, becoming a large Tree. But not just any Tree. I had very bright yellow Leaves, and my Trunk had little gold specks in it to make it glisten. This new Tree caught the wife’s attention, and she came quickly over to sit up against me. With her body in direct contact with my Trunk, I began cleasing her Chakras by pulling out negative Energy from her Body and sending it down into the Ground through my Roots. I could see her become more transparent as I did so. This thinning told me she was beginning to leave the Physical/Astral Plane behind more now, the goal of my visit, after all. Then, over at the edge of the Forest to my right, I beheld a Man who had come from nowhere. As he walked closer to us, I could see he was wearing a gray military uniform, possibly Civil-War era, but also maybe Canadian. He walked up to the wife and asked why she was so fretful. She answered that she had been riding her motorcycle with her husband at one instant, and then found herself in the middle of this Field, clueless as to where it was. The Man told her she had died in an accident, and that she was in-between Worlds. She then asked what had happened to her Family. The Man told her to look up at my Trunk above her head and see the Face there. It was my Face, and she recognized me from the parties of the past few years. I told her we were having one such gathering now, and that her family was fine..coping as best they could..there was a picture of her on the Lobby Fireplace Mantle..and that I had dedicated a song to her I’d sung that night. I then asked her if she had any messages for her Family. Realizing where she was now, she was much calmed. She told me to tell them that she loved them, and was very grateful they had accepted her fully as she was. She then turned with the Man and the two walked into the Forest side by side. I then returned to my original size as..well, whatever I was at the start..a green shoot?. Owl and Snake were still with me, and I thanked them both for helping me. I then reviewed the Journey to remember the details, while my Guides were still with me. Then, Owl suggested that we had to do something with the Broken Crow Wing. This was a Totem for the wife’s Death, and we needed to destroy it in order to allow her Sprit to be fully released back to the Spirit Camp. I picked it up, and we considered throwing it into the ocean, but in the end zoomed into Space and tossed it into the Sun (from a distance, of course). At this point, the house phone was ringing incessantly, and I decided it might be an emergency..so I left the Journey early and drummed myself back..quite at peace knowing a dear person had been released from the worst place a deceased person can be..it-between, alone, and lost.

Journey 114 - The Niece

11/1/04: A Journey taken to try to explain an event that occurred to a Niece of a Woman for whom I have Journeyed earlier, quite recently, to meet with her twin Sister who had gone before her in disease. The Niece, who had recently lost her Mother, was lying awake one night and saw a white mist rise from her body. She then saw a dark shape moving in her room. The Woman wanted to know what this might mean. To me, right off the cuff, I felt the Dark Being had taken a piece of the Niece’s Soul for its own use. But I wanted to Journey to get to the total Truth. After Smudging, Lighting the Sacred Candle and Rattling, and placing my Azurite Stone on my Brow Chakra for added Vision, I began my Journey. I immediately asked both my Upper and Lower World Guides to accompany me for maximum safety, for I knew we were going to deal with an Astral Entity, which can be dangerous. I found myself walking with my Guides, Owl and Snake, in their human form along a lawn toward a darkened house of several stories. Above me I could see the spinning Wheel of this Time Frame, the recorded Energies of every single event that has taken place in this reality. My Guides told me to take their hands and to not let go under any circumstances. We were suddenly standing on a set of stairs inside this house, but were not allowed to go up any further despite several attempts. So we went back out on the Lawn..and as I looked at the House I saw a bluish-white mist pouring out of the Chimney and up toward the Wheel in the Sky. Owl and Snake were suddenly back in Animal Form, and I had turned into my inner Hawk. The three of us went into this Column of Light and were suddenly zooming skyward through the Tunnel into the Upper World. We flew up to and over the Spinning Disc of Recorded Time, and as we looked down, we saw a slender sliver in the green grooves that was pulsing golden light. We went down to this section, which contained the record of the Niece’s event. We entered the sliver, and found ourselves in a golden chamber that gradually turned into a hallway as we walked through. We entered a bedroom to the left. I sensed a strong foreboding as I entered, and remembered to hold the hands of my Guides tightly. We came to rest on a tall bureau, and looked to our right at a younger Woman lying on the bed on her back. Hovering over her was an old Woman, who once she sensed our presence became a black shape with piercing red eyes. She came up to us and looked at the three of us, one at a time. My Guides told me not to fear, as she only sensed we were there, but was powerless to effect us, as we had come in from outside this Time Frame..we were only visitors. The Shape resumed its human form and went over to the bed, on the left side when viewed from the front. A window behind her was letting some light in, enough to see the scene fairly well. I saw the old Woman. Her face was full, eyes small beneath folds of skin, and her hair gray. Her Hair was pulled back, and was tied in the back, possibly in a bun..I didn’t get an excellent look in the semi-darkness. I saw her reach into the center of the Niece and pull out some Spirit Energy. I realized as she did so that she had reached down into the Niece’s soul and removed some of the Energy from one of the Niece’s former lives..not this one. The Soul stores all the Energies of all the Lives we have lived, and this elderly woman was in search of a Scene to inhabit while in the Astral Plane. We were allowed to examine the Scene, and found she had gone back to a former lifetime of the Niece that was probably set in the late 1700s, although there is a large margin of possibility here for the exact time. I saw a small cabin lit by candlelight in a wooded area, and it seemed to be from several centuries back. Apparently this is where the old Woman wanted to stay while on the Astral Plane. No doubt the inhabitants of that Cabin would have recorded strange ghost-like events occurring back then due to this visitor from the Future. It was not made clear if this was the Niece’s mother..in fact, I got the distinct impression it wasn’t..but it might well have been a different deceased relative, to know where to go looking for the information she wanted. We saw the Niece alone in her bed, the Old Woman now gone to her other Time. The three of us then left the room, the Circle of Time, and returned down the Tunnel to the Lawn we had started out from. We then crossed into an adjacent Field to sit around a Fire of Purple Flame, to Smoke a Pipe and talk. Owl took out my Pipe and handed it to me to light. I laughed and said it was amazing how it was always my Pipe he came up with. As we Smoked we considered what we had seen. We relived the Visit to make sure all the details were fresh in mind for this Journal. My Guides told me that retrieving this piece of lost Soul was not something I was quite ready to do on my own. However, they told me to take a subsequent Journey to meet with an ancient Spirit Shaman named Ooszhiwieja, or Forever Still, who would do this for me. I shall take that Journey ASAP. I then thanked my Guides and returned to the Room to the Call Back.

In this case, the lost Piece of Soul will not have an obvious effect on the Niece. What was taken was a very small part of one of her past lives, and this will not manifest itself as a major problem. However, she will now make decisions and choices ever so slightly differently, her moods and approaches a bit off-key, since part of her total Being has been disrupted. How we behave in this current life is effected by the sum total of Energies of all our past lives as well. Therefore, it is still important to attempt to retrieve this missing piece, and to release the old Woman to the Spirit Camp where she can be healed.

Journey 113 - A Moon Visit and 2nd Epiphany

10/28/04: A Journey taken at night at the height of the full lunar eclipse this evening. I had already cleansed and placed my Crystal Wand outside to absorb the Energies of this Eclipse for my use over the next four years..the length of time before the next such great visibility eclipse locally. The Cloud People pretty much thinned out as expected, and so lots of white and deep red/orange light got to my Wand as it sat there overnight. Having the rare Energy of the Eclipse within the Wand will make it more powerful in Healing and Cleansing activities. Later, while heading off to sleep, I decided to take a non-Drumming Journey to visit the surface of the eclipsed Moon. I took my Upper World Guide Owl with me. We rapidly headed off to the Moon’s surface, and upon arrival found four Beings sitting around a small Fire. I had the sense of their being a negative presence..their faces were completely black and featureless, and they were huddled together in a motionlessness that suggested a foreboding to me. I spoke with Owl about my concerns, and he assured me to just continue with the Journey. I looked across the red Lunar Plain and saw a Village of Tipis there, floating over which were many blue-white streamers of Spirit Energy. Again I felt a sense of foreboding, but we walked into this Village nonetheless. I sometime later decided these Beings looked a lot like thin, low-level Cloud People one sees as fog lifts and lightens into those thin streamers zipping along just off the ground. We headed for the main Tipi, within which I found Grandmother Moon herself. She was huddled over a small replica of the eclipsed Moon, red and vibrant, looking into it as if it were a Crystal Ball. We spoke briefly about the purpose of my visit, to enhance my Feminine Side and strengthen my ability to use the gentle Spirit Light Grandmother provides. She told me the forebodings I felt were of my own doing..that I still had fears and faults in my Spirit Body that were manifesting themselves here. She said there was nothing negative about what I was witnessing on my Journey. She then handed me the little Moon before her and told me to absorb it into myself, which I proceeded to do, so that the Lunar Energy of the Grandmother would become part of me, altering my Shamanic Walk for the better. I myself then turned into one of the floating wisps of Cloud, and Grandmother and I were moving out through the Tipis. We came to a large Circle of Spirit Beings handing around a Sacred Pipe. They were sitting around a Fire that was completely black, and as they handed me the Pipe I relit it with a piece of this Black Energy. Once again I felt a slight sense of foreboding as I did this. At this point, Owl swooped in and lifted me far above the Moon into Space, so I could look down on the Sun, Earth and red/orange Moon lined up to produce the eclipse. We then returned to the bedroom, Journey over. A friend later suggested (I’m writing this up almost 4 days later) that the black Fire at the Pipe Ceremony at the end suggested balancing of light and dark to her..with darkness taking the place of light..and I think that was a very valuable insight. For, when I went outside Friday morning for morning Prayers, Grandfather Sun was on one side of the Sky and Grandmother Moon, back to full whiteness, on the other. With me standing in the middle between the two complementary Beings, I could see the balance of Male and Female asserting itself visually, so my friend’s comment later that morning tied in well.

When I got home from work that afternoon, a very special sign was awaiting me out back, and my going out there at the right time was yet another example of how the Spirits work. The timing was impeccable. A large Red-Tailed Hawk, my Pipe Bird and Shaman namesake, swooped down from the Tree directly in front of me as I walked across the landing, and headed out to the area of my Prayer Spot..and landed RIGHT IN MY EPIPHANY TREE! I knew the second she left the Tree and soared slowly across the yard that she was a Hawk! This was the first time I had seen a Hawk in the Epiphany Tree since my life-changing event itself on 10/19/01, written up in the early part of this Jounrnal..and this current visit was just 3 years and 9 days later. Not only did Hawk land in the Sacred Tree, but sat there for several minutes. She spent the first portion of the time facing away from me, then turned around and spent the second half facing me. Both times she wiggled her Tail from side to side quickly. She then took off and flew back deeper into the woods. The fact she faced both ways for the same amount of time speaks once again of balance..the main message of the prior night’s Journey to the Moon. The return of the Hawk to the Launching Point of my Shamanic Training has unspeakable significance for me. It tells me that I am indeed moving into a new phase of my Skills and Abilities, and that the prior night’s Journey was indeed part of that change for the better. It was a visit by the Great Spirit, consecrating my recent actions, solidifying my gains, and once more launching me into the Shaman’s World..deeper than ever. I am in awe with gratitude.

Journey 112 - A Sore Throat in Need

10/26/04: A Journey to help my daughter’s terrible sore throat heal more quickly. After lighting the Sacred Candle and Rattling, I began with the Drum CD. But, it kept shutting off within a minute of starting, even with a new battery set, so I decided I was being asked to drum by hand. This was confirmed when I tested the player after the Journey and it ran fine. So off I went to meet with Crosses in Front, my Snake Guide to the Lower World. I saw before me a green landscape with a bluish glow on the edges of everything. Crosses came up to me with pink and lilac edging around her eyes. We saw a circular opening sparking on the ground before us, and went down the Tunnel. The walls were saturated with dappled specks of rainbow colors. We came out into a snow-covered River Bank. I saw the blue Spirit representation of my daughter’s Power Animal, Polar Bear, all there but semi-transparent..looking a bit like a natural gas flame. I was told by Bear to get a Fish to feed him, to give him more strength to help her. I went to the River’s edge, and saw beneath the surface many Fish, glowing in the primary colors. I saw the Water Spirit standing on the opposite bank and asked her permission to go into the Water to get one. Permission granted, in I went. As I swam among the Fish, I BECAME one! The others gathered around me and fed healing Energy to me. It became obvious..I was to become the food for Polar Bear! So I swam over to where he could reach me and he scooped me up. Once swallowed, I became one with Him. We went and stood over my daughter’s bed as she lay sick and sleeping, and Polar Bear and I opened Sacred Space over her with his white, furry arms. I then left Bear for a short while, and watched as he shrank down to figuring size and began lumbering toward her throat. As he walked into it from the outside, rainbow dazzles began flashing. Within a few seconds, I saw a small sphere of Stars amidst a black background begin to spin slowly at her throat. It was like a mini-universe. I then rejoined the Spirit of Bear and we returned to the River. From there, I went back in the Water, left my Fish existence, and was back on the snowy bank with Crosses. I thanked Water Spirit, Polar Bear and the Fish for their help. Crosses and I then went back up the Tunnel and emerged onto normal-looking land. Journey was over. I then sounded 4 loud beats on the Drum four times to add even more power to the healing Sphere next to my daughter’s throat. I then realized that we were inside the Sphere while by the River, so all the Energy work was still contained within it after we left it with my daughter.

Journey 111 - A Visit to a Brother

10/24/04: A Journey taken at the request of our dear friend to see if her long-since-passed Brother will be there for her Mom when she arrives in the Spirit Nation. I have journeyed before to ask people who have passed to visit with me to bring messages to loved ones. One was a friend of my daughter’s, who messaged me in a startling Dream of a floating Skull on a River. I also visited with another dear friend’s father recently. Both visits are recorded in an earlier entry of this Journal. I knew it was OK to take this journey, for I had received permission to contact the brother in the same manner as had happened with the father..by Crows calling in the Night to signify the presence of Owl, my spirit Guide. The night before, I had asked the Brother to send me a sign if he wished to meet with me. And just as with the Father before, I woke up overnight to hear Crows calling in the darkness. In fact, with the Brother, I woke up twice, to hear the Crow call twice, then once. The calls were farther away this time, so I knew the Brother was coming in from further out in the Spirit Nation. Yesterday morning, I received further confirmation of the impending contact when three Ducks flew over my head in a tight circle as I was performing my morning Prayers. Three Ducks for the three calls, replicating the Circle of Life. And yesterday I saw a huge Hawk sitting on a wire overlooking a highway..the first time I’ve seen that in over a year. It was brown with white blotches..much like the color of my Power Animal. So I knew there was very potent Spirit Energy flowing around and through me, and it was OK to make this contact Journey today.

So I opened up Sacred Space with my Rattle both here at home and over our friend’s Mom’s house, since I’m going there today to fulfill the tasking of yesterday’s Journey to help release her toxic Energies. In a departure from form, I placed the Sacred Candle close to a symbol of Feminine Spirituality that was a gift from a friend who had been to visit with an authentic Shaman in another land, to enhance the power of this particular seeking on behalf of my sisters. I then launched into what was to be a 15 minute Journey to seek out the Brother. As I breathed Shamanically and settled into my Intent, I saw the State of Pennsylvania, and so knew that I was on the right Path..the family came from there. Soon, I saw myself with my two prime Spirit Guides, Owl and Snake, there at my request to assist me. We were standing on an open field in PA. It was fall, so all was yellow and withered. There were Trees encasing this field well off in the distance: the scene was reminiscent of a farming area. Off in the distance stood a male figure, whom I hoped was the Brother. I looked down at myself, and saw myself transforming from human form into a small, white Bunny. This was a first, but I never question where Journey’s go. I assumed by having a Bunny form I would be more pleasing to the Brother. Then, the three of us headed for this male figure, me hopping, Snake slithering, Owl hop-flying. The man was dressed in dark blue jeans and was wearing a heavy jacket, pocket length, light tan in color with a white (or white tinged with yellow) wooly-looking inner lining..L.L. Beanish-looking. He also wore a hat with a brim. As we arrived, sure enough, he picked me up into his arms and gently patted me. I looked at his face. He had a Spirit Being Face, with the dark oval eyes, which I’ve seen so often. But over-layered was a thin rendering of a human face, staring at me. No smile, but no frown either. A bit like old portraits where folks stare rather blankly. He had sandy-blonde hair. I asked him if he was the brother, and he said he was. We then walked the field together. He took me over to a patch of a Garden that was all dry and withered. He told me this was the Garden of His Life, and that it had died prematurely. I asked him if he was sad about this, and he told me he was only sad because the Garden did not feed all the people it was meant to. But he also was at peace with this, since, as he told me, this is the way of Nature..some Gardens just don’t take very well. I then told him that his Mother was dying. He told me he knew that, and saw that I had been to the Golden Room of his Mom’s Helpers in yesterday’s Journey. He said she was a wonderful person, a good Spirit who had lived a very good life. He then told me that when his Mom arrived in that Room, he would therefore be there as well. I then told him that his Sister missed him very much and was crying over him the other night. I saw him reach out toward her and place an amulet of black onyx into her heart. He told me that he had placed a piece of his Spirit Energy within her, and that she can now speak with him at any time..but she will have to learn how to speak in Spirit Language. He looked at me and said that I could teach her how to do so. Then, suddenly, without warning, the CD shut off, as if someone had pressed the off button. I was taken quite aback, but realized very quickly that I had asked all the questions I was to be allowed, and received all the answers I was to have. The Spirit Camp had drained the batteries of the player right as he was telling me to teach his sister to speak in Spirit. I thanked him, my Guides and returned to ground. My wife and I were in tears as I recounted this beautiful, gentle visit to her verbally..especially when the Brother said he would be there to welcome his Mom..a deep wish of our friend’s.

Follow-up: our Friend confirmed, in some amazement, the veracity of the location, attitudes and look of her brother. It WAS him I visited with..

Journey 110 - Release of Spirit Training

10/23/04: This afternoon, after lighting the Sacred Candle, Smudging and Rattling, I put on the 10-minute Drum CD loop to find out how I might best serve to help cleanse the Spirit Body of a dear friend’s Mom who is getting closer to death. She has been the subject of prior Journeys, and her illness is quite single-mindedly a destroyer. I am going to see her tomorrow, and want to do and say the rights things without freaking her out (she knows next to nothing of my Shamanic Work and less of the methodology itself). As I was focusing on my intent and breathing Shamanically, I saw a large “Ocean” of green Grasses and blue Water undulating before me. Owl then flew into me over this “Ocean” (half liquid, half solid), all gold..a brilliant, glistening gold! He lifted me upwards toward the Stars. We passed through an Astral Plane with human forms walking slowly along. Above us was a spinning Hoop of brilliant gold, and we entered it to move up the Tunnel to the Upper World, for guidance. The Tunnel was amazingly resplendent with shiny gold energy flakes that we passed through quickly. We emerged into an all gold, square room, equally shiny and breath-taking, and as Owl few onto a Table there, his Body merged with the background to the point that only his Eyes were showing. I then saw sets of Eyes around the Table..Helpers! They knew of my intent, and escorted me to a door to my right. As I walked out, I saw a narrow walkway of gold leading to a Table. On this Table was a small portion of the Life Energy of my friend’s mom. Some of her Life Force has already left this World. There was enough Energy there for me to see that her lower Chakras were quite out of balance and dirty, and her Sixth Chakra almost totally closed, cutting off the ability to see Spiritually. I was told to use my Crystal Wand to un-spin the Chakras, and threw the surface layer of “dirt” Energy off into local space, where it turned to a light golden dust and then faded away. I was to do this work today instead of doing it in her presence tomorrow, due to the lack of familiarity she has with these ancient and powerful methods of Healing. I then saw her Power Animal Tiger lying beside the Table. He got up and held her hands, reminding me that was important to do tomorrow. The black mist of her disease was hanging about 6 feet above her Body..already quite weak in spite of its apparent victory over her, and getting weaker. After all, when her Robe ceases to be, so will the disease. I also was told by Tiger to sweep my hand over her thin Energy field to bring the Chakras back into colorful Balance, which I did. We then allowed all the “bad” Energy within her body to flow out through the freed Chakras and into a “collection pool” at her feet, awaiting dispersal tomorrow. My job tomorrow is to release this Pool by opening Sacred Space over her and holding her hand at the Release Points while praying silently with her. I am then to remind her of the presence of the Spirit Camp and tell her a bit more of my Experiences in the Other World as a Shaman, without using the word itself. To remind her of the Spirit Camp awaiting her, of her many lives leading to a higher Spiritual Beingness, of her lasting awareness, and that she will see loved one she knows. To tell her that all the events of her Life were Sacred, and she has done very well in her Spirit Lesson. Finally I saw a gold garland stretched across the foot of her bed. I shall bring her one. This is to remind her of the Mana, or Spirit Energy, that will sustain her over the next few weeks or months..and beyond. The Call-back Drum sounded just as I was seeing this Garland, so I thanked the Helpers and Owl and came back through the Tunnel and into my Room. It came to me also that her Mom will end up on the Table in Space as she passes, and then walk the same golden walkway I had traversed back into the Golden Room of her Helpers, where she will be welcomed in great Love, Comfort and Peace.

Journey 109 - Shape Shift 1

10/22/04: A Journey (several, actually) to begin my training in Shape-Shifting, the ability to change oneself into another Creature spiritually..and eventaully physically. The first Journey I took turned out to be one of my biggest flops, if not the biggest. I went straight into it assuming I knew what I was doing and just immediately shape-shifted myself into a Hawk. I then forced myself to fly over 10 miles to land and watch my wife at her work, but virtually all the images were emanating out of a forced consciousness..one can always tell when one is producing the imagery out of the conscious mind versus accepting it from the Spirit World. Therefore, they were broken, confused and contradictory. I knew almost from the start that this was not imagery from the Spirit Camp, but merely me trying to make the pieces fit to make it like a Journey. When I returned, I immediately decided I had violated the rules, so to speak, by arrogantly not asking my Helpers how to do it correctly.

So later in the day I took a second Journey, this time going with the intention of being trained HOW to Shape-shift, not necessarily to do it. Quite humbling, but we must remember to walk before running, and to seek the advice of the experts. So this next Journey began in Outer Space. All around were Stars, of course. Directly ahead of me was a very black Tree shape, trunk and large branches only, standing out even darker against the blackness of Space. Owl was waiting for me there. I went up to sit with him. He pulled in very close to me and had me look into his eyes, at which point the background of Space went into a very fast whirl, causing a beige background with multicolored streaks, like a rainbow mist, behind Owl. As I looked into his Eyes, I could see a second Universe, in which the each Star’s light was elongating horizontally and vertically into thin shafts. At this point I sort of rebelled and asked Owl what this could possibly have to do with anything. Suddenly, we were back in the original scene, with black and stars, and Owl in the Tree, as if he were angry with me and ending the lesson. Suddenly, Owl threw me backwards away from him, and I found myself falling through the atmosphere toward the Earth. I realized I had been given this challenge. Either Shape-shift into a Winged One..or hit the ground! So I concentrated with all my might, saying to myself repeatedly, “I am a Hawk, I am a Hawk..”, and just before hitting the ground turned into one! I quickly flew back up through the Sky and into Space to be with Owl again. He then taught me the secret of Shape-Shifting. Each Creation begins as a Thought in the Mind of the Great Mystery before manifesting physically, reminding me of what I had learned in my readings. So one must tap into the Spirit Blueprint of the Hawk, for example, and assume it for one’s own in order to become that Hawk! Owl then had me move up into my own Crown Chakra to look for old patterns there, of things I had been at one time or another. Sure enough, I saw a Hawk Pattern glistening there. I melded with it, and found myself hovering above a Tree in a forest. It was a bright day, the leaves were green..and suddenly I saw a Mouse moving in a clearing below. I found myself soar down to grab the Mouse in my Talons. Even as Mouse was dying, I could see the same elongated light streaks in its eyes..we are all part of this great pattern of creation, and Mouse’s death was merely the retiring of one of his Chakra patterns..and he would soon move right on to the next one in his Spiritual evolution. His gift of food to me was also a gift of new life to him..death didn’t really enter into it. We were communicating through our eyes. I then returned to my Crown Chakra and moved down the line of Patterns..and sure enough, there was the “me” I am in this Earth Walk. I re-activated both my human form and the Hawk pattern, and internalized both into my Being. So now I am both Human Being, and on a slightly different level, Hawk as well. What struck me most concerning my time as a Hawk is how simple existence is..uncluttered awareness of what is going on NOW..no worries, no plans, no regrets. Just living in total balance as planned by the Great Spirit. It was a wonderful feeling, and one we should all try to get back to in our Earth Walks..exactly what a Shamanic Journey is for. Having Hawk as part of my physical being now will make me more able to “fly”..and eventually to Shape-Shift in the service of my brothers and sisters.

Journey 108 - Future Training

10/21/04: A Journey to discover the next phase of my Shamanic Walk. The 19th of this month was the three-year anniversary of my Hawk Epiphany (found in this blog under 10/19/01), during which I found myself chosen to begin the Shaman’s walk in earnest. I’ve come a long way in the intervening years, but just like a 3-year old child, I can walk and talk Shamanism, but still have a whole lot of experience and training to go before becoming a full “adult”. I’m very pleased with my progress to date, particularly in the realm of these Journeys to the Spirit Camp, but am now curious to find out what lies ahead..where I should be concentrating my efforts in the near term. So off I went on my Journey, after Rattling, lighting the Sacred Candle and Smudging. I used the 15-minute Drum segment, although very tired, hoping I wouldn’t drift off to sleep outright. However, fall asleep I did, but not before getting the info I was seeking. As I walked into the Spirit World, I saw Owl fluttering about in front of me. Behind him were the black and orange colors of Halloween! I found that kind of unusual, as Halloween in this country is a scare-and-greed-fest for kids, by and large, versus the ancient view of the day in which the Fabric between this “reality” and the Spirit World thins a good deal. Many Shamans used to use this “holiday” to seek deeper and fuller enlightenment from the Spirits. So, I took the colors as a bit of humor as well as a signal of the deeper meaning. But the modern Halloween imagery did not stop here, as you shall see. But first, Owl took me quickly laterally in the wooded open-circle area I have visited before. As he flew around in tight circles, he was shedding small Feathers, like a columnar veil. Behind him, the seasons rapidly went through a full cycle, ending up in next winter (2005-6). At that point, Owl pointed to a newly filled gravesite there in the falling snow, and I got the distinct impression it was my mother therein. A bit horrified, I quickly tried to jerk my awareness away from this scene..this is info I would prefer not to know However, the shock value and recognition had already sunk in. So I have just a little over a year left with my mom? Very quickly, the Journey now proceeded before I could get too involved with this possibility. Owl pointed me up to a swirling section of the black sky to my right, and we went up through this Tunnel to the Upper World. Its walls were flaky and had several colors (I recall dark green and blue), but there were large patches where there was nothing, also. And lo and behold out of the Upper World came a witch in full regalia..black dress and pointy hat, green face with long nose..the works. She asked me if I thought she was beautiful, and I said I assume you are a Spirit Helper and thereby beautiful within, but then I found myself thinking this hag-like perspective was beautiful in its own right. My definition of beauty was shifting on the spot! Then she began talking to me, and gave me two takings for the next year..assignments if you will. First, she told me to get deeper into shape-shifting, the ability to change from a human to a Hawk, etc, in order to go places and witness things a human can’t. Also, one can appear to others as a Spirit Helper in this new form. She also wanted me to learn to shape-shift other objects as well..turning a glass into a pen, etc. So I shall devote a good deal of my next Journeys to this aspect of Shamanism. The other tasking she gave me was to help me become a better healer: she told me to learn to feel other people’s pain, but not in the comical, western “I feel your pain” surface brush-off way. To REALLY import someone else’s pain from their body into mine, in order to better know where the source of trouble was and how to fix it. I then fell asleep. When I woke briefly, I was sent down a River, walking on the surface, absorbing millions of particles of Mana, i.e., Spirit Essence. This was no doubt to strengthen me. Next thing I knew, I was waking up well past the end of the Drum Loop. I did not return through the Tunnel from the Upper World, and so felt quite disconnected for an hour or so, until I went back into my room and manually returned through the Tunnel and back to grounding.

Journey 107 - PA for Spirit Sister

10/8/04: A Journey to assign a special Power Animal to my Spirit Sister, who has a lot to deal with lately and I’m assuming can use the extra help. After the usual preparations, I lay down and turned on the Drum CD. I saw my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front appear, all bedecked in Rainbow Specks (mini-Jewels) and looking quite impressive! I suddenly found her lifting me into Space, and as we rose above the Earth I was stunned by the absolute clarity of the beauty around me. Earth was clothed in brilliant colors, and the Stars were vibrant with Light. Moon was similarly gorgeous, and as we floated out past the Planets, I couldn’t help wondering how this all related to a Lower World Journey to find a Power Animal, usually taken down through the Earth..not up in Space! Still, I knew to let the Journey unfold as it happens, and out further we went. Once past Pluto, we went straight up, way above the Solar System. Looking down on it, I could see the Planets circling the Sun in breath-taking brightness and color, in sped-up fashion. It was so peacefully and invitingly pretty. Crosses then told me that my Sister must view her life in the same terms as this Medicine Wheel. Objects change their orientation, and things move within the Sacred Hoop to produce different effects..but they all are contained within the Circle of Life in a Sacred Balance..and she must seek out that Natural Peace than comes from recognizing the circularity and balance of the Motions in her Wheel. It was then that we plummeted instantaneously back to Earth and sought the entry to the Lower World. We found it at the base of a Tree with all-blue Leaves. As we went down the Tunnel, we past Chipmunks and Woodchucks in their nests..and soon emerged into a land covered in small green leafy growth. The sky above was a very deep Blue, barely lit.like the beginnings of twilight. I saw with Crosses at a small Fire. Very soon, I saw an all-white Eagle flying toward me. It landed next to me. Are you my Sister’s special Power Animal, I asked? Yes. I thought to myself, how remarkable she would get an all-white Eagle, she who had dreamed of holding the White Buffalo as a young girl. She truly is specially anointed in the Spirit Camp. I was then instructed to anoint this Eagle with the Four Elements. So I dipped my hand in the nearby River of Life and stroke the forehead of White Eagle with Water. I then passed Sage Smoke across Eagle to sanctify her with the Breath of Air. I passed a lit stick in front of her Eyes until they burned with the Light of the Sacred Fire. I then saw her talons dig deep into the rich, moist and fertile Earth, with some of that dirt sticking into the cracks of her feet. She was anointed with the Four elements of Water, Air, Fire and Earth. In a flash, we were back in Space, and I saw White Eagle soaring through the Solar System at an incredible speed. A white diamond glistening in the distance, moving like a Planet with Free Will. As she passed very closely by me, she dropped me a White Feather..a great and humbling Honor. I then saw White Eagle soar up the Tunnel from the Lower World and cross over to Sister's town..and settle within her Aura. I saw her at peace with a wonderful smile. I know the Journey’s purpose had been accomplished. I then went from my Journey location in my room over to the Feather Sister had given me and added the White Feather to it..from where it will now always send out this special Eagle Energy. I then saw my own Power Animal Bald Eagle sitting within my own Aural Field, whiter than it had been. Where it had been all brown, there were now many traces and outlines of white coloring, as if Eagle had been dusted in a fine white powder. This told me I had been given added Eagle Spirit Energy as well for helping my Spirit Sister in this way. I was not worthy of the all-white Eagle, but I was certainly a bit closer. In an added gift, I then saw my sister-in-law, at a younger age. She was looking down at her son, who had died in his late teens, looking about 7 here. She and he were both smiling to be together again. I then saw my brother-in-law. He was also smiling, and then I saw the three of them standing together as if for a family portrait. They were saying “thank you” to me for bringing them back together. I told them to thank those around us, and in a circle I saw the Spirit Helpers standing a short distance away from us. THEY had made this happen, I said. Just as I finished, the Drum Call Back sounded, and I returned to hank my Helpers. After note: the color Blue stood out in this Journey, and stands for Peace, Faith, Aspiration and Creative Expression.

Here is the reply I received to this Journey from my Spirit Sister: "Most remarkable. For the past two days, especially I have been struggling more than usual and in the midst of all of that felt that somehow you were at work on my behalf. This journey is confirmation of that. Also, a few days ago, as I was struggling with my life's direction, I laid out a Tarot spread. That is something I always do carefully with prayer that only the Holy Spirit give me guidance and only that which I am supposed to know. The first card of the Celtic Cross spread that I use is the card that represents self. Lo and behold, it was The Wheel...a card with exactly the meaning of the wheel in your journey. Staying centered is the only way not to get caught up in the turmoil of the ups and downs. Stand on the rim and you're in for a wild ride. Stay at the hub and all turns in peace."

Journey 106 - Dream Extension

10/8/04: A Journey to follow up on a recent Dream in which I was in my Mom’s house and discovered a new bedroom downstairs with a “dirty gold” skinned girl sitting up in her bed and spelling out a name that seemed to say “Julia”. I prepared my room in the usual way and lay down with an extended Drum CD loop to begin revisiting this Dream, with the purpose of extending it. I was expecting Owl to appear, but instead got a rare visit from my Sacred Pipe Bird, Red-Tailed Hawk! This was to be a special Journey indeed. I spoke my Purpose: to meet with the Dream Keepers, the Dream Spirits. We sat together on a bough of a Tree that was very rich in Apple Blossoms. They were very fresh-looking, and had small Worms moving about in some of them, indicative of mixing fresh air into the surroundings as they do in Mother Earth. The Fragrance was stunning. Apple stands for Joyful Giving, Hidden Knowledge, Happiness and Healing at Hand, according to Ted Andrews’ “Nature-speak.” As we sat and awaited the Sky Tunnel to appear, I saw slices of color rotating across the Sky. Then above us formed the Tunnel. It was made up of millions of swirling green Leaves, speaking of a great intensity of Life and therefore Spirit Energies, and recalling the Apple Tree we were in. As we took off, Hawk had me ride on his shoulders. Hang on, he smiled. Up we went. As we rose above my town, I saw all the buildings disappear and the Land revert back to how it appeared in pre-invasion days, before the arrival of the White Ones..all Trees and Rivers. Once through the leafy part of the Tunnel, we passed through a lighted blue Energy-fabric Tunnel, and toward a hoop of Golden Sparks that had the appearance of a Fireworks Sparkler. We blew through this Hoop and went out in the Void itself. All was black and substance-less except for the sparkling Hoop off in the distance..our way back. Then, there appeared four Beings with human shapes, dressed in glowing light green, body-length Robes. These were the Dream Spirits. They surrounded me at the Four Directions, and I then found myself sinking beneath them and back into my Dream. I entered the new bedroom to find the dirty-gold girl there, sitting up with the covers clenched to her chest as before, looking furtive and sick, as it was when my Dream ended. I asked who she was. She told me her name was “That Which is No More”. She was leafing through a picture book showing nothing but scenes of Forest. I sensed she was from the Time before the “westerners” moved into the area and built houses and roads, contaminating the Sacred Sprit of the place. She then told me that someday the land will look like this again, with all traces of modern America removed. I thought of the 2032 dateline I’d seen in an earlier Journey for the Final War. She then told me she was one of the Golden People, the Little People, who had been greatly weakened in the recent centuries. Her weakened state was why my Mom’s house tended to have things go slightly wrong within it, to be accident-prone. I then decided to re-empower this Girl using Villoldo’s technique. I had her lie back down and I went to sit at the top of her head. I opened Sacred Space over her and could actually see the blue veil of Spirit Power form over her and me. I cradled her head in my hands and began pumping Healing Energies into her..I could feel the Power flowing through my Hands and into her. I chanted my Female Power Chant given me in an earlier Journey. I saw her body restored to its brilliant Gold, and she then stood up at the foot of the bed. She was a beautiful woman indeed. I then saw her transmutate into a Being with a totally round head and the black, oval Spirit Eyes I’ve seen often in Journeys, and a thin supporting body with no arms beneath. She asked me if I found this appearance offensive. I told her no, that she was equally beautiful either way. She then returned to the human appearance. She led me through my Mom’s house, and I saw the kitchen lit brightly, with a delicious breakfast cooking, the sun coming in from the opposite direction as does in this Reality, signaling a 180-degree flip, a reversal of realities. A restoration. I sensed a happier time, with my Aunt and Grandmother still with us. We were then suddenly in a four-decker apartment building. I sensed it was the Spiritual representation of my Grandmother’s flat back when. I saw the porch railing give in the middle. I was then standing there, looking straight down, and feeling considerable fear of falling to the street below. Hawk flew in to calm me. Then, the Golden Little Woman appeared and flung Mana about the place. The flat porch and we were suddenly at ground level. I sensed this large fall I saw had been a Spirit Damage that had been attached to my Grandmother, and that she was now much more at rest since the gap had now been closed. We were now back in the “extra” bedroom. I asked the Little Person what name she had been trying to spell out when my Dream ended. It came to me slowly..Julianne! She then explained to me that the four Bird Calls I heard at night the last time we visited my Mom was her, Julianne, calling me to come help her. Since I had not Journeyed to see what the Calls meant, she subsequently reached out to me in this Dream. She then also explained that she was the Guardian that my mother had long sensed was protecting her. And now she was fully strengthened, making me feel much better that my mom was in strengthened Spirit Hands. The final scene took me to the base of the back Tree in my yard..where I had sensed a few nights ago that the Little People were living. This told me that I had indeed been right about this..and Julianne led me to this particular Tree just to let me know this was indeed a residence of the Golden Little Ones. Good to know! The Call Back then sounded and I returned with thanks for my Guides and Julianne.

Journey 105 - Beavers, oh my

10/7/04: A journey to visit with a dear friend’s Beavers, who are currently tearing up her new stream and dam set-up that she and her man have been working on for the past few years. She is loathe to have the Beavers removed, but is very worried about the damage the diverted water flow they are generating will cause. So I told her I would visit with the Beavers in a Journey, and here are the results. After Smudging and Rattling and lighting the Sacred Candle, I began the Drum CD and asked that whichever of my Guides was right for this trip to the Middle World, show up. Shortly I found Snake (Crosses in Front) and myself moving down her driveway toward the area in question. It was Night. We were both carrying small Torches, an indication of the Power of Fire Medicine in this area. I had read this Medicine in a Journey of a few weeks ago. We went to where the Beavers were at work, and I told them who I was and why I was there. I looked about and saw the Auras of all the Living Things there (Trees, Stones, Water, Beavers, etc.) so there was plenty of “vision” here in the darkness. I saw the Mana moving through the Air like a mist as well. I knew, therefore, that although still in the Middle World of our current Reality, I was at the very edge of that Dimension as well. One of the Beavers led us upstream a bit until we came to an area in the Woods where a Beaver Lodge made completely of pure Aural Energy was standing in the middle of a land path. This Lodge was made from the convergence of all the Auras of all the recent actions of the Beavers, and I got the impression that as they toiled and altered the Landscape, the position of this Lodge changed as well. We went inside and I got to speak only very briefly with the Beaver Spirit within. This was a very rapid Journey, and the only two messages I brought back from the Lodge were that the Beavers are acting completely within their instincts, and therefore would not be moved voluntarily. I also brought back a more fascinating tidbit. They really like the Fire Medicine of my friends, and are drawn to it. It’s almost as if they are trying to counterbalance the fire they perceive in them with the Water gifts they the Beavers bring. So this basically leaves my friend where she was before..two choices of questionable joy: either let them continue and effect her and neighboring properties, or have them removed, violating the Natural Balance. I suppose the third choice would be to continue to try to counterbalance the counterbalancing..live with it and fix the minor problems until final resolution occurs.

Journey 104 - Bee Spirit

9/29/04: A Journey to meet my new Bee Spirit Helper. Over the past few weeks, in Dreams or Journeys, I’ve either been bitten by or had Bees enter my body..an obvious effort by the Bee Clan to enter into my Shamanic Practice. So, after lighting the Sacred Candle and Smudging, I Rattled in the 7 Directions and set down to self-Drum this time. Within seconds of drumming and breathing Shamanically, I found myself zipping from Tree to Tree..but in each case, I BECAME the Tree..feeling myself the tall, permanent fixture of the woods. At one point, when the movement would cease, I could feel Grandfather Sun’s energy pouring into my thousands of Leaf People. I also saw myself stripped of Leaves in Winter, but still basically the same in Spirit..tall, withstanding, patient ,enduring..waiting for spring. Then, I was zipped back to Summertime, and I found myself hosting a Bee’s Hive on one of my Branches. I saw the Face of the Bee Spirit forming on the exterior of the Hive itself, and He introduced himself to me and I did likewise. He quickly took me within the Hive, and showed me that despite the apparent darkness within, Bees could see what they were doing because they could read the Aural Energy of the Hive and the Honey. The light was Honey colored. Bee Spirit then proceeded to tell me that Honey is the equivalent of Mana, the Essence of Life. He showed me that through interaction with Grandfather Sun and virtually all the Star People (whether or not they could be seen from this hemisphere), the Flowers the Bees visited contained the Energy of Life, and therefore so did the Honey the Bees made. He then told me that Bees had been placed within me or stung me in recent Dreams (and during recent “buzz-bys”) to place the “honey” of Life within my Heart. It also was flooding my Aural Sphere, so vividly shown to me in a very recent Journey. In essence, the sweet Mana now fills me and my Aural Sphere. During my time in the Hive, I also experienced the hum of the Bees’ Wings..and found they produce a Root Note along with its Fifth and Fourth Notes. Four reflects the balance of Male and Female, the Four Directions, etc, while Five represents the unity of Family. I also came to understand that the Hive of the Bee Clan and my own Aural Sphere are essentially identical..both have workers within producing the Honey, or in this case, the Essence of Life. This is quite the Revelation..my Aura is filled with the Honey, the Essence of Being. This brings me great Calm and Purpose..I’m ready to leap ahead into the next stage. This Journey was cut short because I could hear my Daughter rummaging about upstairs, and I knew she would be down soon to ask me something. This ability to stay “in Journey” while recognizing sounds from the “normal” world is a trademark of Journeying. One never really loses “consciousness”, but is a place far removed from the here and now..even though the body and its sensors remain active.

Journey 103 - Back Trouble

9/27/04: A Journey to try to bring some help and Healing to an older male family member, who is in great agony after a back operation in which pins were installed, and subsequent nerve damage and medication have caused a seizure and intense discomfort. I prayed with my Shaman’s Prayer Wand held high at the Sacred Prayer Spot out back, in the presence of Grandmother Moon last night, and sent much Spirit Energy and Helpers his way over a 5 or so minute periods of intense communication. I asked the Prayer Lodge Dwellers to gather around him and protect him overnight. Even in the dim light, I saw the Aura of my Y-shaped Prayer Stick, and there is a big ball of Energy right between the two prawns..so I spoke directly into that to energize the response of the Spirit Helpers on my brother’s behalf. I felt lots of Energy out there, and could see a gathering of Elders moving in around him to spend the night with him. Now, this afternoon, it was time to see what the Spirit Nation had to reveal to me..

So I lit the Sacred Candle, Rattled and Smudged with Sage and Sweet Grass, then set off. I found myself on a brush-like terrain, fairly hard, with very small bushes about. I found my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front, the Snake, sunning himself on a Stone Person that was alternating colors between red/orange and speckled gold. As I approached him, one of my Upper World Guides, Snowy Owl, swooped in and took her! I saw him lift Crosses well up into the air and begin circling with her! This has never happened in a Journey before, where one of my Guides took another in possession. This did not give me a good feeling about this Journey, but I knew I had to keep on. So I decided to shape-shift myself into a Snake and lie on the Stone Person myself. Having done so, I was quickly picked up in Snowy Owl’s other talon, and Crosses and I were both dangling aside one another as we soared into the heavens. I looked at her and she at me, and she congratulated me on figuring out how to get back into the picture. We soared very high, over an immense Waterfall, and then dived way down to a small sandy area next to the base thereof. We saw a thatched hut of dried grasses before us, and slithered into it together. Within was an Aboriginal Medicine Man, complete with huge face Mask, concocting up a Medicine. He was using very ancient Herbs to brew up this Medicine, and we could tell these were rare and old Herbs. He told us to drink the Medicine and so we did. This is one of only perhaps 2 or 3 Journeys in which I have been given Medicine to aid in moving further. Immediately all around us became white, and the only color or shape before us was a small red Hole straight ahead. We decided this was the Tunnel entrance to the Lower World, and so down we went. We ended up inside my brother’s back. Before stood a huge, thick steel column which I took to be one of the rods in his back. The nerve channels were severed along this column, and there was an insurmountable gap between ending that used to be connected. I could see ends of nerves firing off blue energy streaks that were missing their intended counterpart by either falling short of hitting the wrong ones. It looked unfixable to the untrained eye. I saw numerous Power Animals comes into this Chamber but none were able to engage the problem. The closest was an Armadillo, but his spikes were just too short to help. A lot of nerve damage has occurred here. At this point, a new figure arrived from the wall of the inner back. His name was Holds His Own, and he began to assess the situation. I was glad to see a human-form Spirit Helper arrive. At this point, a Journey flux occurred, and I slipped into the Theta state for a few minutes. When I returned, we were out in a forest. My brother was lying on a slab of hard wood or concrete, on his back, motionless. Holds His Own was standing over him, waving a wand made of the Elder Tree. A Bluebird sat on his left shoulder, overlooking things. Holds His Own began to glow quite brightly with a golden hue surrounding him as he worked on my brother. I then got the impression that Bluebird was to serve as my brother’s Power Animal. I also saw Holds His Own working with a red, jam-like substance, massaging it into his back. I could not tell what it was, but sensed it might be elderberry jam in keeping with the Wand. I then saw my brother sitting up in great humor and with lots of Energy. I saw him walking, with some difficulty but in a way that told me he was used to it, through his mom’s living room. But almost as quickly I saw him lying lifeless in the same place. I then decided to try to visit his brain to see if there were any damage there, but the Journey was coming to an end and I never got a good sense of what was happening there. The impression I got was that whatever might have happened there was not a great danger to him and all would be well, but again it was too little, too late to really get a hold on that. The Call Back Drum sounded, and I wended my way back with Crosses and Snowy Owl, thanking them after the fact.

Some notes: The remarkable thing that stands out most to me is the sense of conflict running through the entire Journey. I’ve never seen one Guide “attack” another before, nor a Stone Person wavering between opposite ends of the spectrum. The Stone Person changing colors shows a lurch from raw emotionalism to calmness and Life Force, and back. This tells me there is great emotion swimming around (and obviously through) my brother, but also strong forces for Life and Healing are trying to counter-balance them. It is important therefore that everyone be thinking in Life and Healing terms, not in anger or fear. The Elder Wand even speaks to this conflict: the Elder tree itself has a poisonous chemical in it that can serious harm a person, yet Elderberry jam is perfectly safe. Holds His Own was using a stick filled with poison to heal. Even Bluebird as a Power Animal speaks to “passage, a time of movement into another level of being.” Bluebird also has to do with Fertility and Feminine Power. This suggests my brother is transitioning from one state to another, but it is hard to say from what I was shown exactly what that means. I saw him his normal smiling self, and flat on his back unconscious, within seconds. The Healing Ceremony in the Forest also implies that he is at a critical turning point. The fact I saw him both ways, but with the healed version first, gives me hope things will turn out OK. But it would seem that attitudes and decisions over the next few weeks will play a very large role in how this all ends up. Bluebird Power also means that females will and should be playing a large role in these next few weeks. The presence of a large Waterfall also implies Feminine Power is or needs to be at work. The use of Elderberry Jam on his back implies my brother will have to seek out Alternative Medical solutions and not just rely on the standard Medical people in the future. Also, perhaps a female doctor would be more effective. It is wonderful that he has a Power Animal (Bluebird, the bird of happiness..means we should be trying to cheer him up as much as possible) AND a Spirit Doctor, Holds His Own..even his name implies my brother can hold HIS own..working for him now. But it is still up to all of us to say and do the right things over the next few weeks..the situation is fluid.

Journey 102 - Plane Dreams

9/25/04: A Journey for determining why I have had a recurring dream over the years of Airplanes, almost always jetliners with loads of people aboard, being in mortal trouble, always resulting in me waking up in a panic. The latest occurred last night, after a delightful Dream-let (which I will describe first) in which a Bald Eagle hopped off a Branch directly above my head and landed at my feet! The Eagle then snuggled up against my legs, very unusual behavior. I then picked it up and was rubbing its tummy while holding it, like one would a puppy, absolutely thrilled. I then walked toward the door and called out to my wife, “hey honey..look..this Eagle is allowing me to hold it!” This was VERY good Medicine, as Bald Eagle has made itself known to me to be my Power Animal in Spirit, and this kind of warm approach and contact is a first for me. It has given me great comfort and humility to be so attended to by my Power Spirit.

Now, onto the second Dream. I was driving along aroad on the side of a runway with my wife when I noticed a large gray jet roaring up the runway to our right. It had just lifted off the ground when smoke popped out of the back of both engines, and the jet sank down again. It disappeared over a small ridge, which I sped up to pass so I could see if the plane had landed safely. When it came back into view, it was completely different in looks. It had a body much like a tour bus, with nearly full-length windows. I could see the people within very clearly, some sitting, some beginning to stand up in worry. The jet kept trying to lift off and kept coming back to the ground with a thump. With each try, I could see the people getting more and more worried. I was wondering why the pilot didn’t just try to stop the plane. It seemed insane to me that he kept trying to take off when they were running out of runway. I could see the people inside begin to hold each other in fear. I told myself I could help the plane lift off with my new Shamanic skills, and kept trying to will it off the ground. But I was so much in an emotional upheaval, I almost couldn’t think straight, and was unsuccessful in getting the plane airborne. At this point, I awoke in a very strong sense of panic.

So I almost immediately decided it was time to take a Journey and decided once and for all why this Dream kept occurring. I knew one thing for sure in advance: I have a major imprint in my Luminous Body that is being triggered again and again, spilling all this energy into my Chakras and resulting in this recurring Dream/Panic. The Journey would determine what Imprint I had, and hopefully allow me to get rid of it. One cannot be an effective force for change and Healing if one panics due to activated Imprints, after all. And so this afternoon after work I performed the Preparations, and used the Drumming CD to begin. I wasn’t sure whether to go to the Upper or Lower Worlds, and so I let my Guides decide. When my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, appeared, I knew we were heading down to the Lower World. Crosses was orange and red, this time, indicative of the Lower Chakras having been stressed to a high degree. She was whipping herself around on the ground, raising clouds of dust. This told me that a lack of Water (i.e., emotion) was needed. So I got together with her and we moved along a short distance through some brush to a Tunnel entrance. This tunnel had corrugated walls of brown, and made distinct Pipe noises as we went down..a first. As we went further, I saw old-style gas oil lanterns hanging from the walls, and I knew we were getting close to the exit. Out we went, into a square of an old-west town, at night. The saloon was to our right and sported a large front porch. Sitting on a chair at the far end was a solitary, all-black figure. I knew this was a Spirit Being from past Journeys..I could see the yellow eyes shining. I decided this was the Spirit I needed to speak with concerning this long-standing Imprint, but first wanted to gather an offering. There were fresh and healthy Sage plants growing along the side of the dirt road to my left, and I walked along looking at each Plant’s Aura until I came to one with an exceptionally healthy and tall Energy Display. I gather some Leaves from this Plant, in thanks. We then walked further and came to a large stand of growing Sweet Grass. Just as I was going to pick this, I slipped into the Theta State and for the rest of the Journey dealt with fleeting images from a different setting, noine of which I can really remember. I then heard the Call Back Drumming and was back in my room.

I felt unsettled, as I had not finished the Journey at all. As I lay there, I realized I hadn’t even come back properly..that is, back through the Tunnel with my Guide. So after about 5 or so minutes, I realized I had to go back into the square and meet with this Spirit. So I grabbed my Drum and self-drummed myself back. I was back at the Sweet Grass field, and picked some. The stalks were actually glowing a light green light in the Night Air. I took the Sage and Sweet Grass over to the porch and approached the figure. I introduced myself as 4 Hawks and told of my Purpose. He then stood up and came right up to me, peering into my eyes and introduced himself. He told me he was the Fear of Death, of Loss, of the Inability to communicate with Loved Ones, of being buried for good. I told him I had taken several Journeys to rid myself of the Fear of Death, and so I was surprised to see him. He answered that I had indeed cleaned my Spirit Body of the Fear of Death. But, he said, my Emotional, Mind and Physical Bodies still had that Fear within. I sensed that to get rid of these, I had to rid myself of the Spirit standing before me. I sensed I had to dissolve him in the Waters of Life. As I was thinking this, he took me for a walk. We walked through various scenes of Death, including very strong wind and snow storms, the 9/11 disaster, jumping from a building, fire, explosions..in other words, various ways to die violently and/or suddenly. In all cases, though, the knowledge of impending Death were there in advance. Right in the middle of this part of the Journey, I heard four very loud Animal screams outside my bedroom window, and lots of scampering through the drain pipe..and some scratching against the side of the house. Chipmunks tend to inhabit that area, but it seemed hard to believe a tiny Animal like that could be so loud. But I did get the sense this Animal was in abject fear for its life. I found myself wondering if it was under attack from a Hawk or Cat, or if it was just reading the sense of Dread my being in the presence of the Fear of Death was broadcasting to the surroundings. Later, after the Journey, I saw a Chipmunk sitting on our new wood pile very still..as if it was reading the local area for signs of danger..so perhaps there was a Hawk or Cat. Back to the Journey: while still walking with the Spirit of the Fear of Death, I took him to a large, turbulent Ocean to try to dissolve him. He would not go in. I took him to a River, and yet again he would not allow me to dissolve him in the Waters of Life. Finally, I was able to force him into a Canoe, and set him drifting down River. I then called in the large, Black Bird that soared over me to begin my Shaman’s Dream several years ago. I watched as the Canoe and the Bird both floated down around a bend of Trees. I returned to the Old West town, and my Guide Crosses had resumed her normal black color, a sign my Chakras had been cleansed. I then drummed myself back to the room properly. I feel I have not yet rid myself of this Fear completely, as hi is still afloat on the River..but there is perhaps enough distance at this point to allow me to be effective in such an intense crisis. Time will tell.

Journey 101 - Strengthening

9/24/04: a Journey for strengthening of my Shamanic Walk. After preparing the Room (Smudge, Rattling, Candle) and myself (Breathing, Purpose Focusing), I noticed Owl was flying around me as I hung suspended in a star-filled Space that was above the Earth. I glanced down at Earth and saw a large rainbow hovering above a section of her. I then noticed that there were tiny particles of rainbow-colored Dust floating around me out to a great distance, lit as if generating their own light. Owl was soaring gracefully through this area, leaving a trail of disturbed rainbow Dust in his wake. As he came up to me, I told him my purpose..to strengthen myself as a Shaman. He then led me past a series of 7 Stars, each a different color, ascending the Chakra Color Scale from Red to Violet (Base to Crown). Once past the violet Star, we approached a Black Hole..the Tunnel we were to traverse. As we zoomed down in, the walls, while mainly black, had images of other Universes pasted on them, which went by us as we flew on. We came out into a gorgeous world of Trees with large balls of colored Fruit, Plants that had rainbow colored Dew on their colorful Petals, Air that was cool and crisp and a delight to breathe. Above, as I’ve seen before, the blue Sky still allowed the Starts to be seen. The whole area looked familiar, as I had been to very similar places in search of Power Animals. Eagle Claw walked with me a short while before resuming the shape of Barred Owl. At one point, a brilliant White Dwarf Star flew across the Sky, temporarily brightening the land. Owl and I then flew over a rise and saw the largest and deepest Waterfall I have ever seen..seemingly bottomless. The Mist hung well out from the Fall itself, and Owl flew us through this Mist and straight into the Water itself. It was very cleansing, and I saw brief images of skeletal faces pass as we traveled. I asked Owl what these faces were, and he said they were Shamans who hadn’t quite made the mark..who were here for restitution. He told me one of the Faces we were passing was my own Rains Again Face from 900 years ago, Earth-time. As we emerged from the Water, we flew high back to the Meadow from whence we had launched. We sat in a clearing, and Eagle Claw re-emerged from his Owl Robe. He asked me to collect materials for a Fire, and I got some all-white Wood, and a few Bones! I piled them into a Tipi Shape. Eagle Claw then had me light the Sticks and Bones using the Fire of my own Spirit. I had to concentrate greatly to generate a small, blue Flame that eventually floated out from my midsection and landed on the top of the Fire Pile. The Fire lit instantly. For a few seconds, day became night, then day again. At this point, Owl fed me a small red piece of Fruit. He told me this was to strengthen my Base Chakra. As I consumed the Fruit, the entire scene seemed to be pulled into my Chakra in a sudden, tremendous and quick swirl, leaving me for a second in total blackness. Then, just as quickly, the Scene was as it was before. “Wow!” I exclaimed. Smiling, Eagle Claw handed me the next piece of Fruit, Orange for the Sacral Chakra. The same effect occurred upon my eating this Fruit. And so up the Chakra Scale it went, right through the Violet Fruit for the Crown Chakra. Then, Eagle Claw told me to begin pushing my Aura out as far as I could. Again, I concentrated intensely, feeling my actual body tingling as I did this. Eventually, we were within a large bubble whose inside edge was the outer extent of my Aura. I could see the various Chakra colors at the top, in the middle and at the bottom of this new Sphere. Within it were only me and Eagle Claw. Suddenly my Power Animal, Eagle, appeared, and flew around in joyful abandon within the perimeter of the Aural Sphere. Then my Guardians Two Feathers and Gray Wolf showed up, as did several of my other Guides. Eagle Claw then told me to see myself driving to work but still able to see this new Aural Sphere superimposed on “reality.” He told me to see myself at work, again with the Sphere still visible. He told me to see myself at home at night, in various others “real world” activities, all keeping this extended Aura is view. He then told me I like to have the relaxing Drink or two because I use it as an excuse to not have to do anything else that evening. He said I need to reform that behavior, because as Shaman there was always something useful I could be doing. Relaxation comes from living within the Aural Sphere. He then said he was going outside the Sphere and would send Healing Rays within to me. The Sphere then filled with a tan Light, and eventually a golden one, and I felt every single cell of my body being flooded with this healing Touch. Eagle Claw had told me to allow myself to slip into the Theta State at this time, and so I did. I can’t quite recall what happened in there, but it had to do with more or less normal living, like a Dream. Amazingly, though, I came back into the Shamanic Awareness to revisit the wonderful Golden light, just before the Call Back sounded! Eagle Claw made sure I came back in time to enjoy those last few seconds. With the Call Back Drum sounding, I flew back through the Black Hole Tunnel with him and into the Space scene, and from there back to my room. Strengthening complete.