Journey 109 - Shape Shift 1

10/22/04: A Journey (several, actually) to begin my training in Shape-Shifting, the ability to change oneself into another Creature spiritually..and eventaully physically. The first Journey I took turned out to be one of my biggest flops, if not the biggest. I went straight into it assuming I knew what I was doing and just immediately shape-shifted myself into a Hawk. I then forced myself to fly over 10 miles to land and watch my wife at her work, but virtually all the images were emanating out of a forced consciousness..one can always tell when one is producing the imagery out of the conscious mind versus accepting it from the Spirit World. Therefore, they were broken, confused and contradictory. I knew almost from the start that this was not imagery from the Spirit Camp, but merely me trying to make the pieces fit to make it like a Journey. When I returned, I immediately decided I had violated the rules, so to speak, by arrogantly not asking my Helpers how to do it correctly.

So later in the day I took a second Journey, this time going with the intention of being trained HOW to Shape-shift, not necessarily to do it. Quite humbling, but we must remember to walk before running, and to seek the advice of the experts. So this next Journey began in Outer Space. All around were Stars, of course. Directly ahead of me was a very black Tree shape, trunk and large branches only, standing out even darker against the blackness of Space. Owl was waiting for me there. I went up to sit with him. He pulled in very close to me and had me look into his eyes, at which point the background of Space went into a very fast whirl, causing a beige background with multicolored streaks, like a rainbow mist, behind Owl. As I looked into his Eyes, I could see a second Universe, in which the each Star’s light was elongating horizontally and vertically into thin shafts. At this point I sort of rebelled and asked Owl what this could possibly have to do with anything. Suddenly, we were back in the original scene, with black and stars, and Owl in the Tree, as if he were angry with me and ending the lesson. Suddenly, Owl threw me backwards away from him, and I found myself falling through the atmosphere toward the Earth. I realized I had been given this challenge. Either Shape-shift into a Winged One..or hit the ground! So I concentrated with all my might, saying to myself repeatedly, “I am a Hawk, I am a Hawk..”, and just before hitting the ground turned into one! I quickly flew back up through the Sky and into Space to be with Owl again. He then taught me the secret of Shape-Shifting. Each Creation begins as a Thought in the Mind of the Great Mystery before manifesting physically, reminding me of what I had learned in my readings. So one must tap into the Spirit Blueprint of the Hawk, for example, and assume it for one’s own in order to become that Hawk! Owl then had me move up into my own Crown Chakra to look for old patterns there, of things I had been at one time or another. Sure enough, I saw a Hawk Pattern glistening there. I melded with it, and found myself hovering above a Tree in a forest. It was a bright day, the leaves were green..and suddenly I saw a Mouse moving in a clearing below. I found myself soar down to grab the Mouse in my Talons. Even as Mouse was dying, I could see the same elongated light streaks in its eyes..we are all part of this great pattern of creation, and Mouse’s death was merely the retiring of one of his Chakra patterns..and he would soon move right on to the next one in his Spiritual evolution. His gift of food to me was also a gift of new life to him..death didn’t really enter into it. We were communicating through our eyes. I then returned to my Crown Chakra and moved down the line of Patterns..and sure enough, there was the “me” I am in this Earth Walk. I re-activated both my human form and the Hawk pattern, and internalized both into my Being. So now I am both Human Being, and on a slightly different level, Hawk as well. What struck me most concerning my time as a Hawk is how simple existence is..uncluttered awareness of what is going on NOW..no worries, no plans, no regrets. Just living in total balance as planned by the Great Spirit. It was a wonderful feeling, and one we should all try to get back to in our Earth Walks..exactly what a Shamanic Journey is for. Having Hawk as part of my physical being now will make me more able to “fly”..and eventually to Shape-Shift in the service of my brothers and sisters.

Journey 108 - Future Training

10/21/04: A Journey to discover the next phase of my Shamanic Walk. The 19th of this month was the three-year anniversary of my Hawk Epiphany (found in this blog under 10/19/01), during which I found myself chosen to begin the Shaman’s walk in earnest. I’ve come a long way in the intervening years, but just like a 3-year old child, I can walk and talk Shamanism, but still have a whole lot of experience and training to go before becoming a full “adult”. I’m very pleased with my progress to date, particularly in the realm of these Journeys to the Spirit Camp, but am now curious to find out what lies ahead..where I should be concentrating my efforts in the near term. So off I went on my Journey, after Rattling, lighting the Sacred Candle and Smudging. I used the 15-minute Drum segment, although very tired, hoping I wouldn’t drift off to sleep outright. However, fall asleep I did, but not before getting the info I was seeking. As I walked into the Spirit World, I saw Owl fluttering about in front of me. Behind him were the black and orange colors of Halloween! I found that kind of unusual, as Halloween in this country is a scare-and-greed-fest for kids, by and large, versus the ancient view of the day in which the Fabric between this “reality” and the Spirit World thins a good deal. Many Shamans used to use this “holiday” to seek deeper and fuller enlightenment from the Spirits. So, I took the colors as a bit of humor as well as a signal of the deeper meaning. But the modern Halloween imagery did not stop here, as you shall see. But first, Owl took me quickly laterally in the wooded open-circle area I have visited before. As he flew around in tight circles, he was shedding small Feathers, like a columnar veil. Behind him, the seasons rapidly went through a full cycle, ending up in next winter (2005-6). At that point, Owl pointed to a newly filled gravesite there in the falling snow, and I got the distinct impression it was my mother therein. A bit horrified, I quickly tried to jerk my awareness away from this scene..this is info I would prefer not to know However, the shock value and recognition had already sunk in. So I have just a little over a year left with my mom? Very quickly, the Journey now proceeded before I could get too involved with this possibility. Owl pointed me up to a swirling section of the black sky to my right, and we went up through this Tunnel to the Upper World. Its walls were flaky and had several colors (I recall dark green and blue), but there were large patches where there was nothing, also. And lo and behold out of the Upper World came a witch in full regalia..black dress and pointy hat, green face with long nose..the works. She asked me if I thought she was beautiful, and I said I assume you are a Spirit Helper and thereby beautiful within, but then I found myself thinking this hag-like perspective was beautiful in its own right. My definition of beauty was shifting on the spot! Then she began talking to me, and gave me two takings for the next year..assignments if you will. First, she told me to get deeper into shape-shifting, the ability to change from a human to a Hawk, etc, in order to go places and witness things a human can’t. Also, one can appear to others as a Spirit Helper in this new form. She also wanted me to learn to shape-shift other objects as well..turning a glass into a pen, etc. So I shall devote a good deal of my next Journeys to this aspect of Shamanism. The other tasking she gave me was to help me become a better healer: she told me to learn to feel other people’s pain, but not in the comical, western “I feel your pain” surface brush-off way. To REALLY import someone else’s pain from their body into mine, in order to better know where the source of trouble was and how to fix it. I then fell asleep. When I woke briefly, I was sent down a River, walking on the surface, absorbing millions of particles of Mana, i.e., Spirit Essence. This was no doubt to strengthen me. Next thing I knew, I was waking up well past the end of the Drum Loop. I did not return through the Tunnel from the Upper World, and so felt quite disconnected for an hour or so, until I went back into my room and manually returned through the Tunnel and back to grounding.

Journey 107 - PA for Spirit Sister

10/8/04: A Journey to assign a special Power Animal to my Spirit Sister, who has a lot to deal with lately and I’m assuming can use the extra help. After the usual preparations, I lay down and turned on the Drum CD. I saw my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front appear, all bedecked in Rainbow Specks (mini-Jewels) and looking quite impressive! I suddenly found her lifting me into Space, and as we rose above the Earth I was stunned by the absolute clarity of the beauty around me. Earth was clothed in brilliant colors, and the Stars were vibrant with Light. Moon was similarly gorgeous, and as we floated out past the Planets, I couldn’t help wondering how this all related to a Lower World Journey to find a Power Animal, usually taken down through the Earth..not up in Space! Still, I knew to let the Journey unfold as it happens, and out further we went. Once past Pluto, we went straight up, way above the Solar System. Looking down on it, I could see the Planets circling the Sun in breath-taking brightness and color, in sped-up fashion. It was so peacefully and invitingly pretty. Crosses then told me that my Sister must view her life in the same terms as this Medicine Wheel. Objects change their orientation, and things move within the Sacred Hoop to produce different effects..but they all are contained within the Circle of Life in a Sacred Balance..and she must seek out that Natural Peace than comes from recognizing the circularity and balance of the Motions in her Wheel. It was then that we plummeted instantaneously back to Earth and sought the entry to the Lower World. We found it at the base of a Tree with all-blue Leaves. As we went down the Tunnel, we past Chipmunks and Woodchucks in their nests..and soon emerged into a land covered in small green leafy growth. The sky above was a very deep Blue, barely lit.like the beginnings of twilight. I saw with Crosses at a small Fire. Very soon, I saw an all-white Eagle flying toward me. It landed next to me. Are you my Sister’s special Power Animal, I asked? Yes. I thought to myself, how remarkable she would get an all-white Eagle, she who had dreamed of holding the White Buffalo as a young girl. She truly is specially anointed in the Spirit Camp. I was then instructed to anoint this Eagle with the Four Elements. So I dipped my hand in the nearby River of Life and stroke the forehead of White Eagle with Water. I then passed Sage Smoke across Eagle to sanctify her with the Breath of Air. I passed a lit stick in front of her Eyes until they burned with the Light of the Sacred Fire. I then saw her talons dig deep into the rich, moist and fertile Earth, with some of that dirt sticking into the cracks of her feet. She was anointed with the Four elements of Water, Air, Fire and Earth. In a flash, we were back in Space, and I saw White Eagle soaring through the Solar System at an incredible speed. A white diamond glistening in the distance, moving like a Planet with Free Will. As she passed very closely by me, she dropped me a White Feather..a great and humbling Honor. I then saw White Eagle soar up the Tunnel from the Lower World and cross over to Sister's town..and settle within her Aura. I saw her at peace with a wonderful smile. I know the Journey’s purpose had been accomplished. I then went from my Journey location in my room over to the Feather Sister had given me and added the White Feather to it..from where it will now always send out this special Eagle Energy. I then saw my own Power Animal Bald Eagle sitting within my own Aural Field, whiter than it had been. Where it had been all brown, there were now many traces and outlines of white coloring, as if Eagle had been dusted in a fine white powder. This told me I had been given added Eagle Spirit Energy as well for helping my Spirit Sister in this way. I was not worthy of the all-white Eagle, but I was certainly a bit closer. In an added gift, I then saw my sister-in-law, at a younger age. She was looking down at her son, who had died in his late teens, looking about 7 here. She and he were both smiling to be together again. I then saw my brother-in-law. He was also smiling, and then I saw the three of them standing together as if for a family portrait. They were saying “thank you” to me for bringing them back together. I told them to thank those around us, and in a circle I saw the Spirit Helpers standing a short distance away from us. THEY had made this happen, I said. Just as I finished, the Drum Call Back sounded, and I returned to hank my Helpers. After note: the color Blue stood out in this Journey, and stands for Peace, Faith, Aspiration and Creative Expression.

Here is the reply I received to this Journey from my Spirit Sister: "Most remarkable. For the past two days, especially I have been struggling more than usual and in the midst of all of that felt that somehow you were at work on my behalf. This journey is confirmation of that. Also, a few days ago, as I was struggling with my life's direction, I laid out a Tarot spread. That is something I always do carefully with prayer that only the Holy Spirit give me guidance and only that which I am supposed to know. The first card of the Celtic Cross spread that I use is the card that represents self. Lo and behold, it was The Wheel...a card with exactly the meaning of the wheel in your journey. Staying centered is the only way not to get caught up in the turmoil of the ups and downs. Stand on the rim and you're in for a wild ride. Stay at the hub and all turns in peace."

Journey 106 - Dream Extension

10/8/04: A Journey to follow up on a recent Dream in which I was in my Mom’s house and discovered a new bedroom downstairs with a “dirty gold” skinned girl sitting up in her bed and spelling out a name that seemed to say “Julia”. I prepared my room in the usual way and lay down with an extended Drum CD loop to begin revisiting this Dream, with the purpose of extending it. I was expecting Owl to appear, but instead got a rare visit from my Sacred Pipe Bird, Red-Tailed Hawk! This was to be a special Journey indeed. I spoke my Purpose: to meet with the Dream Keepers, the Dream Spirits. We sat together on a bough of a Tree that was very rich in Apple Blossoms. They were very fresh-looking, and had small Worms moving about in some of them, indicative of mixing fresh air into the surroundings as they do in Mother Earth. The Fragrance was stunning. Apple stands for Joyful Giving, Hidden Knowledge, Happiness and Healing at Hand, according to Ted Andrews’ “Nature-speak.” As we sat and awaited the Sky Tunnel to appear, I saw slices of color rotating across the Sky. Then above us formed the Tunnel. It was made up of millions of swirling green Leaves, speaking of a great intensity of Life and therefore Spirit Energies, and recalling the Apple Tree we were in. As we took off, Hawk had me ride on his shoulders. Hang on, he smiled. Up we went. As we rose above my town, I saw all the buildings disappear and the Land revert back to how it appeared in pre-invasion days, before the arrival of the White Ones..all Trees and Rivers. Once through the leafy part of the Tunnel, we passed through a lighted blue Energy-fabric Tunnel, and toward a hoop of Golden Sparks that had the appearance of a Fireworks Sparkler. We blew through this Hoop and went out in the Void itself. All was black and substance-less except for the sparkling Hoop off in the distance..our way back. Then, there appeared four Beings with human shapes, dressed in glowing light green, body-length Robes. These were the Dream Spirits. They surrounded me at the Four Directions, and I then found myself sinking beneath them and back into my Dream. I entered the new bedroom to find the dirty-gold girl there, sitting up with the covers clenched to her chest as before, looking furtive and sick, as it was when my Dream ended. I asked who she was. She told me her name was “That Which is No More”. She was leafing through a picture book showing nothing but scenes of Forest. I sensed she was from the Time before the “westerners” moved into the area and built houses and roads, contaminating the Sacred Sprit of the place. She then told me that someday the land will look like this again, with all traces of modern America removed. I thought of the 2032 dateline I’d seen in an earlier Journey for the Final War. She then told me she was one of the Golden People, the Little People, who had been greatly weakened in the recent centuries. Her weakened state was why my Mom’s house tended to have things go slightly wrong within it, to be accident-prone. I then decided to re-empower this Girl using Villoldo’s technique. I had her lie back down and I went to sit at the top of her head. I opened Sacred Space over her and could actually see the blue veil of Spirit Power form over her and me. I cradled her head in my hands and began pumping Healing Energies into her..I could feel the Power flowing through my Hands and into her. I chanted my Female Power Chant given me in an earlier Journey. I saw her body restored to its brilliant Gold, and she then stood up at the foot of the bed. She was a beautiful woman indeed. I then saw her transmutate into a Being with a totally round head and the black, oval Spirit Eyes I’ve seen often in Journeys, and a thin supporting body with no arms beneath. She asked me if I found this appearance offensive. I told her no, that she was equally beautiful either way. She then returned to the human appearance. She led me through my Mom’s house, and I saw the kitchen lit brightly, with a delicious breakfast cooking, the sun coming in from the opposite direction as does in this Reality, signaling a 180-degree flip, a reversal of realities. A restoration. I sensed a happier time, with my Aunt and Grandmother still with us. We were then suddenly in a four-decker apartment building. I sensed it was the Spiritual representation of my Grandmother’s flat back when. I saw the porch railing give in the middle. I was then standing there, looking straight down, and feeling considerable fear of falling to the street below. Hawk flew in to calm me. Then, the Golden Little Woman appeared and flung Mana about the place. The flat porch and we were suddenly at ground level. I sensed this large fall I saw had been a Spirit Damage that had been attached to my Grandmother, and that she was now much more at rest since the gap had now been closed. We were now back in the “extra” bedroom. I asked the Little Person what name she had been trying to spell out when my Dream ended. It came to me slowly..Julianne! She then explained to me that the four Bird Calls I heard at night the last time we visited my Mom was her, Julianne, calling me to come help her. Since I had not Journeyed to see what the Calls meant, she subsequently reached out to me in this Dream. She then also explained that she was the Guardian that my mother had long sensed was protecting her. And now she was fully strengthened, making me feel much better that my mom was in strengthened Spirit Hands. The final scene took me to the base of the back Tree in my yard..where I had sensed a few nights ago that the Little People were living. This told me that I had indeed been right about this..and Julianne led me to this particular Tree just to let me know this was indeed a residence of the Golden Little Ones. Good to know! The Call Back then sounded and I returned with thanks for my Guides and Julianne.

Journey 105 - Beavers, oh my

10/7/04: A journey to visit with a dear friend’s Beavers, who are currently tearing up her new stream and dam set-up that she and her man have been working on for the past few years. She is loathe to have the Beavers removed, but is very worried about the damage the diverted water flow they are generating will cause. So I told her I would visit with the Beavers in a Journey, and here are the results. After Smudging and Rattling and lighting the Sacred Candle, I began the Drum CD and asked that whichever of my Guides was right for this trip to the Middle World, show up. Shortly I found Snake (Crosses in Front) and myself moving down her driveway toward the area in question. It was Night. We were both carrying small Torches, an indication of the Power of Fire Medicine in this area. I had read this Medicine in a Journey of a few weeks ago. We went to where the Beavers were at work, and I told them who I was and why I was there. I looked about and saw the Auras of all the Living Things there (Trees, Stones, Water, Beavers, etc.) so there was plenty of “vision” here in the darkness. I saw the Mana moving through the Air like a mist as well. I knew, therefore, that although still in the Middle World of our current Reality, I was at the very edge of that Dimension as well. One of the Beavers led us upstream a bit until we came to an area in the Woods where a Beaver Lodge made completely of pure Aural Energy was standing in the middle of a land path. This Lodge was made from the convergence of all the Auras of all the recent actions of the Beavers, and I got the impression that as they toiled and altered the Landscape, the position of this Lodge changed as well. We went inside and I got to speak only very briefly with the Beaver Spirit within. This was a very rapid Journey, and the only two messages I brought back from the Lodge were that the Beavers are acting completely within their instincts, and therefore would not be moved voluntarily. I also brought back a more fascinating tidbit. They really like the Fire Medicine of my friends, and are drawn to it. It’s almost as if they are trying to counterbalance the fire they perceive in them with the Water gifts they the Beavers bring. So this basically leaves my friend where she was before..two choices of questionable joy: either let them continue and effect her and neighboring properties, or have them removed, violating the Natural Balance. I suppose the third choice would be to continue to try to counterbalance the counterbalancing..live with it and fix the minor problems until final resolution occurs.

Journey 104 - Bee Spirit

9/29/04: A Journey to meet my new Bee Spirit Helper. Over the past few weeks, in Dreams or Journeys, I’ve either been bitten by or had Bees enter my body..an obvious effort by the Bee Clan to enter into my Shamanic Practice. So, after lighting the Sacred Candle and Smudging, I Rattled in the 7 Directions and set down to self-Drum this time. Within seconds of drumming and breathing Shamanically, I found myself zipping from Tree to Tree..but in each case, I BECAME the Tree..feeling myself the tall, permanent fixture of the woods. At one point, when the movement would cease, I could feel Grandfather Sun’s energy pouring into my thousands of Leaf People. I also saw myself stripped of Leaves in Winter, but still basically the same in Spirit..tall, withstanding, patient ,enduring..waiting for spring. Then, I was zipped back to Summertime, and I found myself hosting a Bee’s Hive on one of my Branches. I saw the Face of the Bee Spirit forming on the exterior of the Hive itself, and He introduced himself to me and I did likewise. He quickly took me within the Hive, and showed me that despite the apparent darkness within, Bees could see what they were doing because they could read the Aural Energy of the Hive and the Honey. The light was Honey colored. Bee Spirit then proceeded to tell me that Honey is the equivalent of Mana, the Essence of Life. He showed me that through interaction with Grandfather Sun and virtually all the Star People (whether or not they could be seen from this hemisphere), the Flowers the Bees visited contained the Energy of Life, and therefore so did the Honey the Bees made. He then told me that Bees had been placed within me or stung me in recent Dreams (and during recent “buzz-bys”) to place the “honey” of Life within my Heart. It also was flooding my Aural Sphere, so vividly shown to me in a very recent Journey. In essence, the sweet Mana now fills me and my Aural Sphere. During my time in the Hive, I also experienced the hum of the Bees’ Wings..and found they produce a Root Note along with its Fifth and Fourth Notes. Four reflects the balance of Male and Female, the Four Directions, etc, while Five represents the unity of Family. I also came to understand that the Hive of the Bee Clan and my own Aural Sphere are essentially identical..both have workers within producing the Honey, or in this case, the Essence of Life. This is quite the Revelation..my Aura is filled with the Honey, the Essence of Being. This brings me great Calm and Purpose..I’m ready to leap ahead into the next stage. This Journey was cut short because I could hear my Daughter rummaging about upstairs, and I knew she would be down soon to ask me something. This ability to stay “in Journey” while recognizing sounds from the “normal” world is a trademark of Journeying. One never really loses “consciousness”, but is a place far removed from the here and now..even though the body and its sensors remain active.

Journey 103 - Back Trouble

9/27/04: A Journey to try to bring some help and Healing to an older male family member, who is in great agony after a back operation in which pins were installed, and subsequent nerve damage and medication have caused a seizure and intense discomfort. I prayed with my Shaman’s Prayer Wand held high at the Sacred Prayer Spot out back, in the presence of Grandmother Moon last night, and sent much Spirit Energy and Helpers his way over a 5 or so minute periods of intense communication. I asked the Prayer Lodge Dwellers to gather around him and protect him overnight. Even in the dim light, I saw the Aura of my Y-shaped Prayer Stick, and there is a big ball of Energy right between the two prawns..so I spoke directly into that to energize the response of the Spirit Helpers on my brother’s behalf. I felt lots of Energy out there, and could see a gathering of Elders moving in around him to spend the night with him. Now, this afternoon, it was time to see what the Spirit Nation had to reveal to me..

So I lit the Sacred Candle, Rattled and Smudged with Sage and Sweet Grass, then set off. I found myself on a brush-like terrain, fairly hard, with very small bushes about. I found my Lower World Guide Crosses in Front, the Snake, sunning himself on a Stone Person that was alternating colors between red/orange and speckled gold. As I approached him, one of my Upper World Guides, Snowy Owl, swooped in and took her! I saw him lift Crosses well up into the air and begin circling with her! This has never happened in a Journey before, where one of my Guides took another in possession. This did not give me a good feeling about this Journey, but I knew I had to keep on. So I decided to shape-shift myself into a Snake and lie on the Stone Person myself. Having done so, I was quickly picked up in Snowy Owl’s other talon, and Crosses and I were both dangling aside one another as we soared into the heavens. I looked at her and she at me, and she congratulated me on figuring out how to get back into the picture. We soared very high, over an immense Waterfall, and then dived way down to a small sandy area next to the base thereof. We saw a thatched hut of dried grasses before us, and slithered into it together. Within was an Aboriginal Medicine Man, complete with huge face Mask, concocting up a Medicine. He was using very ancient Herbs to brew up this Medicine, and we could tell these were rare and old Herbs. He told us to drink the Medicine and so we did. This is one of only perhaps 2 or 3 Journeys in which I have been given Medicine to aid in moving further. Immediately all around us became white, and the only color or shape before us was a small red Hole straight ahead. We decided this was the Tunnel entrance to the Lower World, and so down we went. We ended up inside my brother’s back. Before stood a huge, thick steel column which I took to be one of the rods in his back. The nerve channels were severed along this column, and there was an insurmountable gap between ending that used to be connected. I could see ends of nerves firing off blue energy streaks that were missing their intended counterpart by either falling short of hitting the wrong ones. It looked unfixable to the untrained eye. I saw numerous Power Animals comes into this Chamber but none were able to engage the problem. The closest was an Armadillo, but his spikes were just too short to help. A lot of nerve damage has occurred here. At this point, a new figure arrived from the wall of the inner back. His name was Holds His Own, and he began to assess the situation. I was glad to see a human-form Spirit Helper arrive. At this point, a Journey flux occurred, and I slipped into the Theta state for a few minutes. When I returned, we were out in a forest. My brother was lying on a slab of hard wood or concrete, on his back, motionless. Holds His Own was standing over him, waving a wand made of the Elder Tree. A Bluebird sat on his left shoulder, overlooking things. Holds His Own began to glow quite brightly with a golden hue surrounding him as he worked on my brother. I then got the impression that Bluebird was to serve as my brother’s Power Animal. I also saw Holds His Own working with a red, jam-like substance, massaging it into his back. I could not tell what it was, but sensed it might be elderberry jam in keeping with the Wand. I then saw my brother sitting up in great humor and with lots of Energy. I saw him walking, with some difficulty but in a way that told me he was used to it, through his mom’s living room. But almost as quickly I saw him lying lifeless in the same place. I then decided to try to visit his brain to see if there were any damage there, but the Journey was coming to an end and I never got a good sense of what was happening there. The impression I got was that whatever might have happened there was not a great danger to him and all would be well, but again it was too little, too late to really get a hold on that. The Call Back Drum sounded, and I wended my way back with Crosses and Snowy Owl, thanking them after the fact.

Some notes: The remarkable thing that stands out most to me is the sense of conflict running through the entire Journey. I’ve never seen one Guide “attack” another before, nor a Stone Person wavering between opposite ends of the spectrum. The Stone Person changing colors shows a lurch from raw emotionalism to calmness and Life Force, and back. This tells me there is great emotion swimming around (and obviously through) my brother, but also strong forces for Life and Healing are trying to counter-balance them. It is important therefore that everyone be thinking in Life and Healing terms, not in anger or fear. The Elder Wand even speaks to this conflict: the Elder tree itself has a poisonous chemical in it that can serious harm a person, yet Elderberry jam is perfectly safe. Holds His Own was using a stick filled with poison to heal. Even Bluebird as a Power Animal speaks to “passage, a time of movement into another level of being.” Bluebird also has to do with Fertility and Feminine Power. This suggests my brother is transitioning from one state to another, but it is hard to say from what I was shown exactly what that means. I saw him his normal smiling self, and flat on his back unconscious, within seconds. The Healing Ceremony in the Forest also implies that he is at a critical turning point. The fact I saw him both ways, but with the healed version first, gives me hope things will turn out OK. But it would seem that attitudes and decisions over the next few weeks will play a very large role in how this all ends up. Bluebird Power also means that females will and should be playing a large role in these next few weeks. The presence of a large Waterfall also implies Feminine Power is or needs to be at work. The use of Elderberry Jam on his back implies my brother will have to seek out Alternative Medical solutions and not just rely on the standard Medical people in the future. Also, perhaps a female doctor would be more effective. It is wonderful that he has a Power Animal (Bluebird, the bird of happiness..means we should be trying to cheer him up as much as possible) AND a Spirit Doctor, Holds His Own..even his name implies my brother can hold HIS own..working for him now. But it is still up to all of us to say and do the right things over the next few weeks..the situation is fluid.

Journey 102 - Plane Dreams

9/25/04: A Journey for determining why I have had a recurring dream over the years of Airplanes, almost always jetliners with loads of people aboard, being in mortal trouble, always resulting in me waking up in a panic. The latest occurred last night, after a delightful Dream-let (which I will describe first) in which a Bald Eagle hopped off a Branch directly above my head and landed at my feet! The Eagle then snuggled up against my legs, very unusual behavior. I then picked it up and was rubbing its tummy while holding it, like one would a puppy, absolutely thrilled. I then walked toward the door and called out to my wife, “hey honey..look..this Eagle is allowing me to hold it!” This was VERY good Medicine, as Bald Eagle has made itself known to me to be my Power Animal in Spirit, and this kind of warm approach and contact is a first for me. It has given me great comfort and humility to be so attended to by my Power Spirit.

Now, onto the second Dream. I was driving along aroad on the side of a runway with my wife when I noticed a large gray jet roaring up the runway to our right. It had just lifted off the ground when smoke popped out of the back of both engines, and the jet sank down again. It disappeared over a small ridge, which I sped up to pass so I could see if the plane had landed safely. When it came back into view, it was completely different in looks. It had a body much like a tour bus, with nearly full-length windows. I could see the people within very clearly, some sitting, some beginning to stand up in worry. The jet kept trying to lift off and kept coming back to the ground with a thump. With each try, I could see the people getting more and more worried. I was wondering why the pilot didn’t just try to stop the plane. It seemed insane to me that he kept trying to take off when they were running out of runway. I could see the people inside begin to hold each other in fear. I told myself I could help the plane lift off with my new Shamanic skills, and kept trying to will it off the ground. But I was so much in an emotional upheaval, I almost couldn’t think straight, and was unsuccessful in getting the plane airborne. At this point, I awoke in a very strong sense of panic.

So I almost immediately decided it was time to take a Journey and decided once and for all why this Dream kept occurring. I knew one thing for sure in advance: I have a major imprint in my Luminous Body that is being triggered again and again, spilling all this energy into my Chakras and resulting in this recurring Dream/Panic. The Journey would determine what Imprint I had, and hopefully allow me to get rid of it. One cannot be an effective force for change and Healing if one panics due to activated Imprints, after all. And so this afternoon after work I performed the Preparations, and used the Drumming CD to begin. I wasn’t sure whether to go to the Upper or Lower Worlds, and so I let my Guides decide. When my Snake Guide, Crosses in Front, appeared, I knew we were heading down to the Lower World. Crosses was orange and red, this time, indicative of the Lower Chakras having been stressed to a high degree. She was whipping herself around on the ground, raising clouds of dust. This told me that a lack of Water (i.e., emotion) was needed. So I got together with her and we moved along a short distance through some brush to a Tunnel entrance. This tunnel had corrugated walls of brown, and made distinct Pipe noises as we went down..a first. As we went further, I saw old-style gas oil lanterns hanging from the walls, and I knew we were getting close to the exit. Out we went, into a square of an old-west town, at night. The saloon was to our right and sported a large front porch. Sitting on a chair at the far end was a solitary, all-black figure. I knew this was a Spirit Being from past Journeys..I could see the yellow eyes shining. I decided this was the Spirit I needed to speak with concerning this long-standing Imprint, but first wanted to gather an offering. There were fresh and healthy Sage plants growing along the side of the dirt road to my left, and I walked along looking at each Plant’s Aura until I came to one with an exceptionally healthy and tall Energy Display. I gather some Leaves from this Plant, in thanks. We then walked further and came to a large stand of growing Sweet Grass. Just as I was going to pick this, I slipped into the Theta State and for the rest of the Journey dealt with fleeting images from a different setting, noine of which I can really remember. I then heard the Call Back Drumming and was back in my room.

I felt unsettled, as I had not finished the Journey at all. As I lay there, I realized I hadn’t even come back properly..that is, back through the Tunnel with my Guide. So after about 5 or so minutes, I realized I had to go back into the square and meet with this Spirit. So I grabbed my Drum and self-drummed myself back. I was back at the Sweet Grass field, and picked some. The stalks were actually glowing a light green light in the Night Air. I took the Sage and Sweet Grass over to the porch and approached the figure. I introduced myself as 4 Hawks and told of my Purpose. He then stood up and came right up to me, peering into my eyes and introduced himself. He told me he was the Fear of Death, of Loss, of the Inability to communicate with Loved Ones, of being buried for good. I told him I had taken several Journeys to rid myself of the Fear of Death, and so I was surprised to see him. He answered that I had indeed cleaned my Spirit Body of the Fear of Death. But, he said, my Emotional, Mind and Physical Bodies still had that Fear within. I sensed that to get rid of these, I had to rid myself of the Spirit standing before me. I sensed I had to dissolve him in the Waters of Life. As I was thinking this, he took me for a walk. We walked through various scenes of Death, including very strong wind and snow storms, the 9/11 disaster, jumping from a building, fire, explosions..in other words, various ways to die violently and/or suddenly. In all cases, though, the knowledge of impending Death were there in advance. Right in the middle of this part of the Journey, I heard four very loud Animal screams outside my bedroom window, and lots of scampering through the drain pipe..and some scratching against the side of the house. Chipmunks tend to inhabit that area, but it seemed hard to believe a tiny Animal like that could be so loud. But I did get the sense this Animal was in abject fear for its life. I found myself wondering if it was under attack from a Hawk or Cat, or if it was just reading the sense of Dread my being in the presence of the Fear of Death was broadcasting to the surroundings. Later, after the Journey, I saw a Chipmunk sitting on our new wood pile very still..as if it was reading the local area for signs of danger..so perhaps there was a Hawk or Cat. Back to the Journey: while still walking with the Spirit of the Fear of Death, I took him to a large, turbulent Ocean to try to dissolve him. He would not go in. I took him to a River, and yet again he would not allow me to dissolve him in the Waters of Life. Finally, I was able to force him into a Canoe, and set him drifting down River. I then called in the large, Black Bird that soared over me to begin my Shaman’s Dream several years ago. I watched as the Canoe and the Bird both floated down around a bend of Trees. I returned to the Old West town, and my Guide Crosses had resumed her normal black color, a sign my Chakras had been cleansed. I then drummed myself back to the room properly. I feel I have not yet rid myself of this Fear completely, as hi is still afloat on the River..but there is perhaps enough distance at this point to allow me to be effective in such an intense crisis. Time will tell.

Journey 101 - Strengthening

9/24/04: a Journey for strengthening of my Shamanic Walk. After preparing the Room (Smudge, Rattling, Candle) and myself (Breathing, Purpose Focusing), I noticed Owl was flying around me as I hung suspended in a star-filled Space that was above the Earth. I glanced down at Earth and saw a large rainbow hovering above a section of her. I then noticed that there were tiny particles of rainbow-colored Dust floating around me out to a great distance, lit as if generating their own light. Owl was soaring gracefully through this area, leaving a trail of disturbed rainbow Dust in his wake. As he came up to me, I told him my purpose..to strengthen myself as a Shaman. He then led me past a series of 7 Stars, each a different color, ascending the Chakra Color Scale from Red to Violet (Base to Crown). Once past the violet Star, we approached a Black Hole..the Tunnel we were to traverse. As we zoomed down in, the walls, while mainly black, had images of other Universes pasted on them, which went by us as we flew on. We came out into a gorgeous world of Trees with large balls of colored Fruit, Plants that had rainbow colored Dew on their colorful Petals, Air that was cool and crisp and a delight to breathe. Above, as I’ve seen before, the blue Sky still allowed the Starts to be seen. The whole area looked familiar, as I had been to very similar places in search of Power Animals. Eagle Claw walked with me a short while before resuming the shape of Barred Owl. At one point, a brilliant White Dwarf Star flew across the Sky, temporarily brightening the land. Owl and I then flew over a rise and saw the largest and deepest Waterfall I have ever seen..seemingly bottomless. The Mist hung well out from the Fall itself, and Owl flew us through this Mist and straight into the Water itself. It was very cleansing, and I saw brief images of skeletal faces pass as we traveled. I asked Owl what these faces were, and he said they were Shamans who hadn’t quite made the mark..who were here for restitution. He told me one of the Faces we were passing was my own Rains Again Face from 900 years ago, Earth-time. As we emerged from the Water, we flew high back to the Meadow from whence we had launched. We sat in a clearing, and Eagle Claw re-emerged from his Owl Robe. He asked me to collect materials for a Fire, and I got some all-white Wood, and a few Bones! I piled them into a Tipi Shape. Eagle Claw then had me light the Sticks and Bones using the Fire of my own Spirit. I had to concentrate greatly to generate a small, blue Flame that eventually floated out from my midsection and landed on the top of the Fire Pile. The Fire lit instantly. For a few seconds, day became night, then day again. At this point, Owl fed me a small red piece of Fruit. He told me this was to strengthen my Base Chakra. As I consumed the Fruit, the entire scene seemed to be pulled into my Chakra in a sudden, tremendous and quick swirl, leaving me for a second in total blackness. Then, just as quickly, the Scene was as it was before. “Wow!” I exclaimed. Smiling, Eagle Claw handed me the next piece of Fruit, Orange for the Sacral Chakra. The same effect occurred upon my eating this Fruit. And so up the Chakra Scale it went, right through the Violet Fruit for the Crown Chakra. Then, Eagle Claw told me to begin pushing my Aura out as far as I could. Again, I concentrated intensely, feeling my actual body tingling as I did this. Eventually, we were within a large bubble whose inside edge was the outer extent of my Aura. I could see the various Chakra colors at the top, in the middle and at the bottom of this new Sphere. Within it were only me and Eagle Claw. Suddenly my Power Animal, Eagle, appeared, and flew around in joyful abandon within the perimeter of the Aural Sphere. Then my Guardians Two Feathers and Gray Wolf showed up, as did several of my other Guides. Eagle Claw then told me to see myself driving to work but still able to see this new Aural Sphere superimposed on “reality.” He told me to see myself at work, again with the Sphere still visible. He told me to see myself at home at night, in various others “real world” activities, all keeping this extended Aura is view. He then told me I like to have the relaxing Drink or two because I use it as an excuse to not have to do anything else that evening. He said I need to reform that behavior, because as Shaman there was always something useful I could be doing. Relaxation comes from living within the Aural Sphere. He then said he was going outside the Sphere and would send Healing Rays within to me. The Sphere then filled with a tan Light, and eventually a golden one, and I felt every single cell of my body being flooded with this healing Touch. Eagle Claw had told me to allow myself to slip into the Theta State at this time, and so I did. I can’t quite recall what happened in there, but it had to do with more or less normal living, like a Dream. Amazingly, though, I came back into the Shamanic Awareness to revisit the wonderful Golden light, just before the Call Back sounded! Eagle Claw made sure I came back in time to enjoy those last few seconds. With the Call Back Drum sounding, I flew back through the Black Hole Tunnel with him and into the Space scene, and from there back to my room. Strengthening complete.

Journey 100 - Drive again?

9/21/04: A Journey to see if my coworker and great friend’s man will ever get back his driving license. Since this Journey occurred right after the Fairies Dots Journey, I did not have to prepare as in customary. I met Owl in a Tree that was covered in bright green Leaves..just bursting with Energy. He took me on a trip across the Planet, in which he focused on pollution. I saw the dirty air caused by vehicles in this nation, China, Europe. I saw the pollution caused by Planes..by Tractors. Owl told me that Mother Earth was very much bothered by the contamination of her Sacred Air Clan. At this point, I figured the lesson might be, why would we allow yet another human to drive?! But I was taken instead to my friend’s property, and saw her man driving around on his golf cart, tending to the land. I then saw him driving around the local community, purchasing goods. I was then told that IF the man could convince the authorities, through plans and evidence, of already done good deeds concerning the environment..and IF he could show them that his activities behind the wheel would result in a healthier and cleaner local community..that he was using the property he was now living on to better the environment, and would be able to show others the results of this cleaning action..he WOULD be given his privilege back. However, if he were to wish to get back his license for selfish ends, he would not. I was then told that this current restriction was caused by words or actions of his that were undertaken when he was under the influence of a foreign agent in his system, and therefore he was not totally responsible for them..but they belonged to him nonetheless. This resulted in the appearance of a viable threat to the receiver, who then made sure this “sentence” was imposed. I then saw the two sitting around their Fire Pit at night, with a roaring Fire within. I was told both people were of the Fire Clan..that Fire was their Medicine. Fire is the element of brightness and change, destroying the Old so that the New might Flourish..and this was their Destiny. The Stone People forming the perimeter of their Fire Pit have recorded all their hopes and aspirations, and the Fire Clan is willing to help them. In a side vision, I then saw them and the kids swinging their legs off the back of a van in the driveway. I then saw the Spirit of Fire towering over their Property, waving his arms of flame across it in all directions. At this point, the Call Back sounded, I thanked my Guides, and returned.

Journey 99 - Faeries?

9/21/04: A Journey undertaken to ascertain the meaning of a series of dots of light running across a picture taken on a recent trip to another land by my Spirit Sister, in search of her roots. These dots do not have an explanation based on any light source being reflected..something was moving across the field of view that was not a continuous presence, as the dots are distinct in their trail. A friend has surmised they were caused by Fairies trying to tell her something. So, after Lighting the Candle, Smudging and Rattling, off I went. I was met by my Upper World Guide, Barred Owl, who came up in front off me and began to violent shake off some Feathers. We were in the circular Clearing we have visited before on several other Journeys. He told me to create a Wand with them by attaching them to the end of a stick, and I did. He then had me clear off the dead Leaves on the ground before me. To my surprise was a granite slab with Sister’s name on it..like a headstone. I looked up and at the edge of the Clearing stood a very old person, wrapped in tattered and very old cloth. I looked down at the Stone and it now had an old English or Irish version of her name, such as Ayrn or Avirn. An ancestor? I got the sense that the meaning of the name change at the Stone was that the old name (and person) and the current one were the same person..just in different lifetimes. I was then instructed by Owl to use my wand to go over and sweep clean the Aura of this old person. As I did so, from behind the oldness emerged my Spirit Sister, in perfect health, and her current age, smiling at me. I asked Eagle claw, now Owl, who had now assumed the persona of Eagle Claw, what this all meant, and he sent me back to the Stone. Her name was gone! As I looked down at the reflective surface, I saw a small whirlpool of darker light circling on it. I looked up at the Sky and there was no such circle, so I was meant to go down through this Opening. Owl came with me. We descended quickly into a very dark underground Cavern with many Dark Beings hulking about. I at first saw the two Dark Figures I had seen under Sister’s Church on a Journey before, but then there were these many Beings. I mentioned to Owl that this look as close to the concept of Hell as anything I had seen yet. Owl told me that we were both now mere specks of light to these Beings, and we could move around them by drifting on the currents of Air. As we did so, we headed over to a lighter area, which I at once recognized as a body of water. There were very clean looking green ocean plants. And a school of pure gold, small Fish the size of baby Trout came up to me and told me to surface. I did so, and was atop a very turbulent ocean surface beneath a gray Sky. Suddenly a huge Whale, as large as I have ever seen, came toward me and swallowed me. Being a mere particle of light/Air/Water?, I went into the Whale whole. I thought briefly of Jonah. J Within, I heard a voice telling me to take my Feather Wand and seal off the opening between the Ocean and the Underground Cavern of the Dark Beings. I was told this was crucial. So I returned to the intersection of the two Worlds. Owl distracted the Beings by flying very quickly through and around them. I turned my back to this chaos and swept the opening closed with my Wand. I then turned around and was facing all the Beings, collected in a Group against me. I immediately began my Healing Chant given me by Eagle Claw, and my Aura brightened and expanded immensely. The Beings then shrank and melted away. Then, the ocean poured into this area and filled it. I then surface through the Granite Stone Tunnel with Owl..and instead of being in the Clearing, was at the Prayer Spot next to her Church, down by the River. I was told to use my wand to spread golden Mana flecks across the River’s surface in all directions, which I did. We then went back down into the Tunnel and re-emerged in the Clearing. I went over to my Sister, still standing there, and gave her a hug. She then faded away. I then asked Owl, now Eagle Claw, what the dots of light in the picture were. He said, Four Hawks, you tell me. So I thought about it, knew they were sent to get me to take this Journey, and as the Call Back Drum began, I saw the word ATTACK come into my mind. Was she under attack at this second? Perhaps the Fairies were there to warn her..if that’s what those dots of light were..

The emphasis on Water is very important, as Water is the Female element. You obviously are meant to emphasize the importance of Female accomplishment and contribution..hence the flooding of "Hell" with female power. (Is Hell therefore a male entity?). Also, check all sources on the meaning of Whale. I know in Medicine Cards, whale is the Record Keeper, the voice of the Past.

Journey 98 - Friend's Father

9/20/04: A Journey to check on a dear friend’s Father, undertaken at her request. Since my request for a meeting with him Saturday night, I had received quite a few signs in the past 24 hours concerning the timeliness of performing this Journey. Yesterday, I saw a rare Peace Eagle hovering before us as we drove back from breakfast with this friend and her husband. I later saw three Crows fly off before me..a rarity, as they are almost always in fours for me. I then saw the fourth fly over my house as we got home, signaling the house was rife with Spirit Power. Overnight, I awoke to hear two Crow calls in the dead of the night, around 2:30 AM. This is VERY significant, for Crows only call at night if they are being actively attacked by their nemesis, the Owl. And Owl is my prime Guide to the Upper world, so that means Owl was very close last night..and wanted me to know it! Today, on the road, a Blue Heron, for me the presence of the Great Spirit, flew across my car as close and as low as one has ever flown. And later in the day, a large shadow crossed the hood of my car, and I looked back to see a Peace Eagle hovering directly over the Path I had just driven. Finally, a darting Dragonfly came right up across my windshield..the latest in a long string of Dragonflies that had come very close to me during the day. So I knew this afternoon was the time to Journey. So after Lighting the Sacred Candle, Smudging and Rattling, I set the Drum CD and began my Shamanic Breathing while concentrating on my Journey Purpose. As I lay down, I found Owl coming up to me with eyes replicating my Azurite Stone. This Stone Person enhances the ability to see into the Spirit Camp, and so I put the actual Stone on my forehead. Owl then brought me over to sit around the flame of the Sacred Candle..a first for me. As we sat there, I noticed the immediate surroundings turned into small shrubs, and the Candle Flame a small campfire. It was night, and the Sky was peopled with thousand of clear, bright Stars. Several other of my Guides then appeared..my Lower World Guide, Crosses in Front, the Snake; and Black Panther. Again, a first for an Upper World Journey. The three of us banded together as Owl prepared us to take off with him toward another distant campfire in the Sky. As we got closer, I noted it became a Tipi, and we zoomed in through the bright red opening at the base. We then headed up the center of the Tipi of Fire, and the soot and bright red embers and Smoke became the Tunnel through which we ascended to the Upper world. As the Smoke thinned out, we came up to a flat, featureless plane, emitting a dim grey light. A single black male figure stood in the distance, alone, wearing a hat. The three of us approached him. When we got to him, he had removed his hat and was kneeling on one knee. His face and head were black and featureless, except for the glowing yellow eyes. He looked a lot like the other person I had recently visited in the Astral Plane. I introduced myself and my Guides in a loud voice and asked if he were my friend's Father. He nodded yes. I asked why he was here, and he said he was performing atonement. Off in the distance I saw tall grey log-like structures falling over in great numbers..beyond that, a series of additional campfires in the sky that seemed to be marking out the remaining time of his atonement process. One fire went out as I watched, and I could see Blue Spirit Energy suddenly coursing across his black body, adding more Spirit Life to it. I told him I came on behalf of his daughter, whom he knew of. He had a small stand near him that had a small flat “screen” that allowed him to look down on the progress of her Life, so he know of her recent marriage and jobs. I asked him if he wanted to pass anything along to her. He told me he used gently grab her face and kiss her forehead, and whisper, “my little sin" as a joke. He asked me to do this for him. He also mentioned something about telling her (or did he just think this..I can't be sure) that her crying wasn’t worth a plug nickel, so use a nickel to plug it! I promised to give her a nickel when it presented itself to me. He mentioned that while he was able to know of his daughter, he was not allowed to see or even hear of anything concerning his wife. But, he said, he knew she was still on the Sacred Path of this life since he had not seen her go by. I wanted to give him something of his daughter’s, but realized that I had not brought anything, and besides that would probably constitute interference. From here, I sank into the Theta State, from which I can’t recall much more than remembering being in a store shopping for clothes. When the Call Back Drum sounded, I said our goodbyes, and we returned the way we came as I thanked my Guides. This was an interesting result, in that in my prior experience I set the person free, while in this case the Father wanted to remain in his featureless world of grayness, and serve out his time. There weren’t that many Campfires left, but I couldn’t be sure how long each remaining one had left to burn.

Fire is the Element of Change, of new emerging from the ashes of the old. The fact this Journey is laced with imagery of Fire implies this transformation is occurring in her Dad as well.

Journey 97 - Draft?

9/17/04: A Journey taken to see if my son is going to be drafted when the draft is re-instituted to fight the “war on terrorism.” After Smudging and Lighting the Sacred Candle and Rattling to the 7 Directions, I sat on the edge of my bed and began my Shamanic Breathing and focusing. Even before the Drumming CD began, I saw myself sitting on a Tree Limb with my new Guide, Snowy Owl. As I moved to be close to him, I looked into his eyes, which at first turned blue, but then became images of the Earth spinning slowly on her axis. I lay down an began the Journey in earnest as the Drums began. With Owl by my side, it began snowing. As we left the Tree, I saw he had left a single White Feather lying on the branch..a symbol of the day I had bought my Pipe. We flew up through the snow and then above the Cloud People. I saw a purple Circle spinning in the sky, low on the horizon. As we got nearer, I saw purple Lilacs spinning around the edges, and as we entered the Tunnel to the Upper World, the aroma and feel of Lilacs was tremendous and soothing. As we exited the Tunnel, we were out in space, floating by large layers of different colored Energy, each of which had embedded within it a scene from a large-scale event in humna life. We went past these, and soon came to a blue circle suspended in Space. We stopped at this circle, which represented a Table. Owl went to sit in the center, and soon became the spinning Earth I had seen. At this point I did everything I could not to allow any of my own thought to crowd into this scene, so I waited with mind off for a few seconds. Soon, behind the Earth and opposite me, arrived a large Red bird-like Figure. He introduced himself as the Spirit of War. I asked him if my son was going to be drafted. He told me the draft would be re-instituted in the Fall of 2005, and 500,000 people would be called up eventually, but my son would not be among them. I asked him about the future of the war in Iraq, and he said the war would spread to both Iran and Israel. This would put such a danger on the western world's oil supplies that the traditional allies of the US would finally be forced to join in, widening the conflict greatly. I asked him then what Russia would do. He said it would close off from the outsdide world more and more as Putin became evermore the old-style dictator. The Russians would secretly be aiding the terrorists in the larger war to keep the US and its allies pinned down while it tried to regain its old strength, using its own vast oil supplies. I asked about China. He said they would sit and for the most part watch, as they have done for generation after generation, hoping for the smoke to settle. War Spirit then asked me to smoke the Pipe with him. It was red and fairly hot. I said I found it rather odd smoking the Pipe of Peace with the Spirit of War. He answered that throughout human history, peace has been the temporary absence of war, not the other way around. But he said it was fitting the two opposites should join around the Pipe. I asked if there was any way we could avoid this upcoming scenario, and he said no, the People had made their choices both through their action AND INaction..and that the Path would have to be followed. He told me to keep seeking Peace in my Shamanic Walk, for that was still my Path. I thanked him as he left, going back the way he had come in. The Earth on the table center became Owl again, and we headed down the Lilac Tunnel, to the Tree from which we had departed. Owl took his place on the branch as I moved away from the Tree. Suddenly I saw Eagle Claw, my other Guide, arrive as Barred Owl on the Left. Then Bald Eagle, my Power Animal, arrived above the midpoint between the two Owls. Hawk, my Pipe and Epiphany Bird, arrived at the midpoint below. They all then crowded in together and blew a uniform mist of Spirit Mana onto me. Just as it arrived, the Call Back drum sounded and I went back to the Room.

Lilac stands for enhanced clairvoyant activity and for balancing of the Chakras, Intellect and the Spirit, according to Nature Speak by Ted Andrews. Also, "Spirit is close and willing to work with you..open up to your Spirit Guides." Finally, Lilac asks us to recognize the Beauty inherent in all of Creation.

Journey 96 - Finishing the Job

9/13/04: A most extraordinary night last night. Just before going to bed last night, I pulled a now-rare Medicine Card..just to check on my relative Spiritual State as seen by my Guides. I got upside-down Lizard, the key meaning of which is that I am having or about to have nightmares that must be listened to for either upcoming events or for unfinished business. I haven’t had any real nightmares in a while, and so I assumed it was a general message. Little did I know what was about to unfold about 4 hours later. I was in the midst of a totally benign Dream in which I was sitting down at a circular table with some friends. I believe the fellow directly across from me was a co-worker. He interrupted a totally fun story I was telling to ask me the following question: “Do you have the feeling something bad is about to happen?” The whole table fell silent, and I took stock of all my feelings and impressions of the area, and had just said “Not at all,” when suddenly I was attacked from behind by the most powerful Dark Force I have ever felt. It grabbed me from everywhere it could in back, and was literally squeezing the Life out of me. Everything went black as my friends and the room we were in disappeared. I was gasping for breath, feeling myself being crushed into a smaller and smaller being. Pressure was coming in now from all around, and I could see to my left four tiny vertical lights crossed at the bottom at right angles by 2 or 3. An upside-down Cross. I was in such duress that I did not call on my Helpers or Guides or begin to chant. I merely washed my hands from front to back, over my head, again and again, begging my Aura to protect me..protect me..protect me.. I soon realized that I had awakened and was in my bedroom, still alive, but quite unnerved. Any sense of satisfaction that I had having gotten out of this fix was overwhelmed by the overarching question..what was that about!? Was it my old Nemesis coming back, or something else. I knew this could not be answered without a Journey, and since it was 2:30 at night, I could not take my traditional Journey with CD and Candle and Sage/Sweet Grass. I would have to go in as I have done in the past 2 weeks..a mental cold-start. And so I did! I asked Owl to meet me outside, and I found myself with him amongst many Campfires of the Spirit Beings. I could see their shapes and glowing eyes sitting around the Fires. Some were Smoking the Pipe, giving me Comfort that there were Prayers being said, and thereby filling the Air. I asked Owl to take me above to discover the reason for this attack. As I looked up, I saw Stars swirling in the Dark Sky, and up we went through this Tunnel to the upper World. When we arrived, I was taken into a replay of my recent vacation. I could not understand this at all. I went through quite a bit of it, scene by scene. I even came out of the vacation imagery long enough to visit with Eagle Claw on his Ledge in Space. He told me that the attack was due to unfinished business..i.e., the recent visit with the Spirit Being that had been so angry and then began to cry. I never really got a resolution in that Journey, if you’ll recall, but merely thought my floating in my room at one point reflected a Healing for this person. I now found out is was not. And so I was taken back to my vacation spot. It wasn’t until I saw the replay of the young Eagle fluttering over the rocks on an island that I realized this image looked just like what I saw last evening, just as the light was really dimming: a rare Hawk, flying tree top level, from my back yard toward the west..the Spirit Camp. I had found it strange last night that I should see a Hawk that late..this was the latest I had ever done so. Now, in my Journey, recognizing the tie-in between my actual sighting last night and the image of the young Eagle at Bar Harbor, I realized the Hawk visit last evening was an announcement, very similar to the large Black Bird that flew over me as my Shaman’s Dream began several years ago. It was a portent of a powerful Dream to come in the following sleep cycle, just as the large Bird overflight had been then. I then searched the scene further and realized I was to take with me a Stone Person from under where the vacation spot Eagle was flying, and return to the Street where the Sufferer without a Face and his Dog had been glaring at, and then crying out to, me. Back I went, and all was as I had left it: the Spirit was there with his burnt Face and yellow eyes in near total Darkness. I took out my Rattle and opened up Sacred Space around us by Rattling to the 7 Directions. I recall feeling Courage as I turned my back on this entity. I then realized I had before me the Sanctification Elements of Shaman’s Tools: Fire; A bowl of Water; Air, represented by Smudge; and a bowl of Mother Earth. I was to anoint the Spirit with each of the Four Elements, and so I did. Throwing Fire at the Spirit caused his Face to clean completely, and the Darkness around us to totally vanish. And there, in broad daylight, stood my daughter's old boyfriend who had committed suicide. So THAT’S who it was! I then blew Water on him, and anointed his forehead with Earth. He was very much at Peace, and disappeared, having finally been released from the Astral Plane. I then found myself walking toward my Five Stone Altar in my backyard and placing the Stone Person I had picked up at Bar Harbor in the midst of the Stones. At this point, Owl brought me back through the Tunnel and into my room. End of Journey. I had finally set the boy free, to go into the Spirit Camp. And even as I write this over 12 hours after the event, I find myself totally amused at how he had gotten my attention..and how! Moreover, it is amazing to me that I had only just started non-drumming Journeys within the past few weeks, and yet that technique proved to be vital last night. There is no way I could have relaxed without knowing the source of that power grab from behind.

Journey 95 - Crystal Chair

9/10/04: While waiting for my wife at the doctor’s, I was lying back in the car with the cool September breezes flying by, and decided to engage in a non-drum Journey, a skill I’d put into play last Sunday on the way to my mother-in-law's. I found myself sitting in the back yard, and a Cardinal came to me. It was snowing, and the Cardinal stood out so beautifully against the swirling whiteness. He invited me to go with him to the Upper World, and as we went up, we were moving through a Tunnel of gorgeous white and gold Sparks (I saw these same Sparks several years ago when looking up into a snowy Sky). This was the first time Cardinal had served as an Upper world Guide. As we emerged from the Tunnel, I saw Outer Space before me, with large billowing curtains of different colored Energy in various spots. Then, before me, I saw a large collection of clear Quartz Crystals that were coalescing into the shape of a chair. Cardinal and I went over, and I sat in the Chair. Cardinal then turned into my Aunt, who told me that from here on this Crystal Chair would serve as a place of total Relaxation for me from now on. Anytime I imagined the Chair, it would be there for me to sit in. As I saw there, some of the colored curtains moved by me, and as they did the Chair assumed the color of the Curtain in brilliant fashion, with millions of facets shining at once. I then thanked my Aunt, who returned to Cardinal form, and then we moved the Chair down the Tunnel and into my back yard. It sits there now, near my Prayer Spot. I saw myself sitting in it even as the snow flew. As I looked across the lawn to the house, I was suddenly aware that I was seeing through all before me. The house, the neighborhood, had all thinned out visually, and I could see right through to the Stars beyond. Even looking down through the Ground I could see the Universe (or, A Universe). The Chair is there now for whenever I need to ground myself and relax. I then thanked Cardinal for his first Guide Ceremony, and returned to the car.

Journeys 92/93/94 Co-worker PA; Friend PA; Snow total

9/10/04: This was my second Journey to find a proper Power Animal for a husband. In the first attempt, I tried to find Animals for two people at once, and therefore got confused as to whose was whose. We can only do one thing at a time in a Journey..I knew that, but was trying to save time. So after preparing in the traditional way, I was off into the Yard. It was night, and as I sat there the Earth began to quickly shrink to the size of a large Beach Ball. My Lower World Guide Crosses in Front, the Snake, was suddenly at my right side. Then the Earth shrank even more, and we were both sitting merely on a large Stone Person, floating in Space. There were Stars in all directions as we sat on this tiny perch. Crosses then grew into the Woman Spirit she is, and gave me a hug. This was a first, I believe. Meanwhile, I noticed healing rainbow Rays were coming at me from the Stars, from all directions. I took note as I lay in bed of how good they felt penetrating my body. As I watched the Stars, I could also see human shapes becoming apparent only by distorting the imagery behind them as they walked around. After observing a short time more, Crosses and I then were back on solid ground, and approached a Stone Fence. We went into an opening by the Wall, and were passing Hot Peppers, some Tree Roots, and Mud. We emerged into a subway Tunnel (!), and went beneath the platform to see a Rat scurrying around. The Rat did not indicate it was the Power Animal, but instead led us down the Tracks to a waiting Raccoon. The Raccoon went with us up a new Tunnel, and we emerged onto a high cliff edge, with large white Flowers sprinkled among the Trees. As I found myself drifting over the edge above an incredibly deep Valley, Eagle soared in and grabbed me. I had grabbed the Raccoon and held it in my arms as Eagle took over carrying the two of us. Eagle went to the husband’s back yard and there we dropped off the Raccoon. It seemed quite content to be there, so we took off to go back to the Cliff. As we flew back, I was thanking the Frog from my prior Journey for carrying me around as I unsuccessfully sought the Power Animal for the father AND his son. Crosses and I then went back through the Tunnels and back to the little Stone we had left from. The Stars were still all around, still emanating healing Rays. I sensed that each beam from any given Star was focused on an individual cell in my Body, and was reprogramming it with the Star People Spirit Code. I was being refashioned into a new person through these cellular interventions from the Star People. I also got the sense that each Star records the entire history of its surroundings, much as Stone People do, and that therefore much of this data was being stored in my cells as well. I then received very kind words from Crosses in Front, who told me that she and the other Female Spirits who help me are very appreciative of the honor and esteem in which I hold the Feminine Medicine. I then sank deeper into the Theta State, and the only image I recall is seeing myself with a rolling pin, flattening dough on a stool shoe salespeople use when trying on new shoes. Who knows.. :) I then heard the Call Back, thanked my Guides, and returned.

My second Journey was to find a PA for my good friend of recent Runneymede Journey fame, as I’d promised him I would do when we spoke this past Monday. Crosses and I were immediately whisked off to the local wildlife refuge. I know how much our friends love this area, and so was quite pleased to see us begin there. We went by a Blue Heron’s nest near the tidal waters, as if a blessing from the Great Spirit, and then went deep into the woods. We came to the opening, which was lined with Pine Cones. Before we entered, Crosses again transformed from Snake into Woman. We merged Spirit Energies and went down the Tunnel together, as one. It began as a bright orange tube, turning to yellow, then green, blue and violet, before turning gray! It was as if we were moving up a set of Chakras. As we emerged, we were back in the Sanctuary, only this time it was black and white! An immense Eagle then came soaring in over us, dwarfing Trees and all else..biggest I’ve ever encountered. As he landed by us, I found myself in an Eagle’s nest, an Eaglet. We were back in color, now. Both Mother and Father were there watching over me. As I looked over the side of the nest, I saw a Peace Eagle soar by. My parents then took off. I saw an Ant crawl and disappear into the nest materials, and then saw a Squirrel heading toward me. The Squirrel stopped short though, so I knew neither Ant nor Squirrel were the Power Animals. But then, a Hummingbird came up to the nest and offered me a sip of Nectar from her long beak. She remained there, hovering in and out from the nest, and I knew this was my friend’s PA. I actually saw his face on the H-bird’s chest for a short time. At this point, my Eagle Parents returned. As we sat together, I looked out into the Sky and saw a huge Cloud Person forming. While first it looked like Santa, I soon saw the face of a Native Chief, and finally saw the Water Spirit herself, with whom I had visited in earlier Journeys. As she held her arms out, they were dripping rainbow colored streams of Rain. One of my Parents took me out to fly through these Streams and into the Spirit’s Cloud Body, and I recall remembering just how wonderful that special Water felt. The Spirit spoke to me and reminded me to use her Powers. We went back to the nest. My parents were feeding me Worms, and as I swallowed them I could see their little Spirit Bodies leave mine and drift off as small golden Balls, on their way to move into a new physical body. I was told I’m getting stronger and stronger. I then found myself flying through the Valley on my own, sinking like a Stone and flaring out, totally free. I then slipped into the Theta state and came back with two images: first, as I went to touch a Horse’s muzzle sitting on a old-west style wall, a Bee came out from within a stung me on the hand. I saw and removed the Stinger, then tasted the small point of my blood. I saw the Bee die, and its Spirit Body move off as a small gold ball. I knew I had been given Bee totem Energy. Secondly, I saw my friend leaving through the back door of a farm house, into a truck carrying vegetables for sale at a local market. He obviously is a sustainer of people. A third image did not survive the Call Back Drum, which sounded soon thereafter. According to Ted Andrews' Animal Speak, Hummingbird stands for the Tireless Joy and the Nectar of Life. To see it flitting about fills one with joy. Hummingbird reminds us to "hum" through life, restoring health and balance..to find joy in what we do and to sing it out. Hummingbird can move its wings in a figure 8 pattern, a symbol for infinity and links to the past and future, to cause and effect. Hummingbirds know how to use flowers for healing, and can teach you to heal yourself in the same manner. Hummingbird is the most skilled of fliers, able to move in all directions and to hover. It does not walk. This reminds us that of we truly enjoy what we are doing, we become as light as a feather. Its ability to fly backwards reminds us to derive joy from the past. The rainbow colors on some species remind us of the inclusion of all things and races as one. Hummingbirds must eat 50-60 times a day, and digest food quickly, implying one with this Power Animal should be aware of sugar levels and nutrition, and eat in smaller but more often portions. Hummingbirds build their homes with great care, implying one should likewise decorate the home for joy. They sleep at night in a state of hibernation to conserve energy, and so should Hummingbird People get lots of deep rest, to prevent burnout. Finally, they fly over 2500 miles to migrate..thereby making them the symbol for accomplishing the seemingly impossible.

My final Journey was to ascertain how much snow we will get this coming winter. Recall last year’s Journey predicted 37”, and we got just ¾” more than that..a direct hit. As I lay down to begin the Drum CD, I felt the need to place the Azurite Stone on my Brow Chakra. I saw myself sitting on a facet of this Stone, all shiny and so deep blue. It was a beautiful Summer day around me, with blue Sky and White/Gray Cloud People. I then saw Snowy Owl heading toward me. I held out my index finger of my right hand, and he landed on it. It was my new Guide Angshwa from several Journey’s ago. He then returned to his Owl state. We took off and headed up into a Tunnel composed of snowflakes. We emerged into the heart of a Cloud Person, where the Spirit of the Air Clan and the Water Spirit were waiting. The three Spirits told me they were disappointed in me for doubting their guidance last year. They said I must atone for this doubt before they would help me this year. I did so, and began to walk around in rainbow snowflakes that had suddenly appeared. As I walked through this delightful image, two numbers came to me: 48.9 and 58”. I was then suddenly at my 5-Stone Altar, in summer, but not for long. Soon there was snow all around, and the Altar was a Fire. I found myself smoking a lit Sacred Pipe made of clear Ice with the three Spirits. They confirmed the numbers I had seen earlier..49 and 58, with the higher amounts to the NW..as we shared the Pipe. They then took me to Hurricane Ivan, bearing down on Jamaica as I write this. I merged with the flowing Water Vapor and Wind and Cloud, and sensed the total lack of concern the storm had for its actions. It was merely fulfilling its Spiritual Destiny, as should we all. I was then shown the storm will pass about 65 miles west of Tampa, FL, and then move up into the eastern Panhandle with 100 kt winds. For a brief moment, I also saw the storm head west toward Mississippi. I was then told that when Ivan’s rains fell on my 5-Stone Altar late next week, I would be given new Powers of merging with the Air, Water and Cloud Spirits. This was the Shamanic advance foretold by my Aunt Anne, and this new capability would allow me to be much more effective in reading and relating to/working with Energies in my Shaman’s Walk. Then, the Call Back sounded. Very exciting, for the three Spirits are so profuse in our daily life.

Journeys 90/91 Agate Sphere; Penguin PA recharge

9/5/04: The first Journeys I have taken without Drumming deliberately occurred today on our way up to my mother-in-law's, with my neighbor driving. I had read several times recently that as Shamans progress, they can access the Other Worlds without use of a Drum, and I wanted to see if I could do so, given the relaxing mode of being driven. And just as I was thinking about taking this Journey, my wife shook me to ask if I had seen the Peace Eagle above us. Sure enough, the Eagle was right over the car as I was thinking about attempting this. This told me that the time was indeed right, and that I had reached this level of development..a very cool level indeed. This means I can Journey anywhere at any time, and not have to have drumming with me. So, I opened Sacred Space around myself and met with my Lower World Guide, Snake. We went down a dry Tunnel, with large Stone People restricting passage in some areas, but still allowing us to move through. As we exited, we came into a world at dusk with hundreds of Eagles flying at random across the Sky..there were hundreds, all low, all soaring at random above me and as far out as one could see. Then, they suddenly all lined up and began to move in a huge Whirlpool of Eagles, all circling around a central point, to which we moved. Upon arrival, I found my new Agate Stone Person, boughton a recent vacation, sitting there, quite large..so was I smaller? I then proceeded to use Ken Meadow’s methods to sanctify the Stone..I brushed it with the four Elements (Water, Fire, Air and Earth) to charge it with Spirit Power. Suddenly, I found myself lifting the Stone above my head, and I saw it being struck by multitudes of blue flashes emerging from the Sky, followed by a large swirl of golden Mana surrounding it. I then carried it over to my pouch and put it back in. Today, just before leaving, I had decided to take this new, perfectly spherical Stone with me to give me added Shamanic strength. Now, on the way up, in my first non-Drumming journey in a long while, I had charged it to the fullest. It was ready to go.

I then took a second Journey in order to re-energize our dear friend’s Mom’s Power Animal, Penguin. I met with Snake a second time, and this time we went down through a Tunnel of yellowish light. On the way down, I noticed all sorts of growing Vegetables. We passed through these, and came out into a small brushy area, from which we emerged onto a Lake-side. There stood Penguin. This was a rather short Journey, for I found myself passing along quite a few of the Vegetables into Penguin, to give him strength. I hadn’t realized I had picked any up, but there they were. No doubt, Snake grabbed them, knowing I would want them shortly. I then saw Penguin go over to her’s Mom’s condo, and move into her. I had promised our friend the night before I would say a special Prayer for her mom, and this was the first real chance I had to do anything special.

An interesting after-note on the first Journey: When my sister-in-law saw pictures of my son’s Senior shoot, her Imprint over her 18-year-old son's premature death activated in a big way. She was crying for almost an hour afterward. At first my daughter spoke with her, and after a while I decided to visit with her as well. I explained how we all chose to live our lives and suffer the trials, in order to better ourselves spiritually. I explained about the Imprint that was activated in her, and how it could be removed..but may not be wise to do so, for she might miss the chance to keep growing. But finally I was moved to offer her my newly-sanctified Shaman Stone, telling her how it had great Spirit and Healing Powers now. She told me the Chinese do something similar with a round Stone, and that she felt her pain fade away the second she began holding it. I told her to keep it until she no longer felt she needed it..then give it back to me, or to someone she thinks it would be helpful to.

Journey 88/89 Aunt Visit; PA for Father/Son

9/1/04: I had a dream last night about my Aunt, who passed in the late 80s. We were in a strange house, preparing to eat dinner with a bunch of people, when I spotted her lying on her left side on a small couch by a window next to the table. As I reached for her hand, she let me grab it. She had tears in her eyes, but never looked up at me. I knew upon awakening that I would have to Journey to see what it was she wanted to tell me. And so this afternoon I prepared as always, and then set off, the Flame of Life flickering off to my left as the Drums began. I immediately saw myself standing out back by a large Tipi, outlined with glistening colors. I saw my Upper World Guide Eagle Claw sitting in front, beating on the Drum that matched what I was hearing. He handed me a Bowl of a Plant Medicine, which I drank in slow and small gulps. I actually did the swallowing consciously as well. I then lay down as directed with my head just in front of the Drum..and found myself becoming as stiff as a stick. Eagle Claw turned into Barred Owl and then Snowy Owl. He took me in his Talons and we were off. We headed up into Space, which was wavy and distorted..the Solar System, the Universe..all seemed to be undulating. As we moved further out, we came to an Octopus in Space. We stopped there, and I told him my desire: to speak with my Aunt and see what she was trying to tell me. I then was directed up to the top of the Octopus’s head, and sank down into it as a Spirit. From within, I could look down the “corridors”, as it were, of all eight arms. Most were empty, with doors at the end of each with a colorful room beyond. But at the end of one I saw my Aunt, as she was when I last saw her, and I went down to speak to her. I saw her transform from that image to herself as a young lady, and back. I began by thanking her for coming to me so often as a Cardinal, here favorite Winged One, in the past few years of my Shaman’s Walk. I asked, and she said she was not angry with me for not coming home for the final visit, when my wife was pregnant withmy son. But then she asked me why I had never given comfort to her concerning her cancer, her dying..or even talked with her about it. She said my reason for not doing so was like the large yellow and orange translucent brick wall I found myself now sitting on. I must break down this wall, by discovering what it was about myself that caused to me to be remote and removed. She said total understanding of this part of my character was essential to go much further into my Shamanic practice. I started running through possible reasons: Age discrimination? She turned herself back to her early 20s and asked if I would have been more engaged had she been this young. A feeling of helplessness? Aversion to being with people who are dying? Pure selfishness? Spiritual confusion? All these possibilities ran through my head, but I didn’t feel anyone of them was really it. Even as I write this up 24 hours later, I am still not certain exactly what it is about me that caused that reaction..but I DO know why I have to get rid of it to be an effective healer. Anne told me that one I had removed this wall, she would be there to help me with my Shamanic advancement. She then gave me a single Lily to plant in my Spirit Garden..colored with both male and female Cardinal hues. As I was returning from this Journey is profuse thanks to EC and my Aunt, I kept asking myself, as if seeing my behavior for the first time..why DID I ignore her..not even a card or call..man! In the ensuing days, I finally discovered the Truth about my reaction: I saw my future SELF in my Aunt, how I would end up, and was too afraid to face it!

My second Journey of the day was to discover Power Animals for one of my wife’s co-worker’s family members. I had already gotten one for her (White Duck), and she wanted her husband and son to have one as well. So off I went, and Snake met me immediately, with Diamond eyes. She warped herself around me and we slithered together off into a field which quickly became a desert. We went down through an opening in the Ground at the base of a Cactus. As we went down through the first layers, a small zone of moist Earth was there...but then it was dry dirt and stone for much of the rest of the way. This implies there is a lack of emotion or feminine power with these men. As we neared the Exit, streamers of green and pink light began pouring lengthwise along the walls. As we exited, we were in a world near the end of dusk, landing in a pond with large green leaves around. A Frog immediately came to me and asked me to climb aboard. I got the sense this was the Dad’s Power Animal. He hopped out across the Water, and I saw little Islands of land floating in the Air above us! They were covered in small red Flowers, and we saw several Animals eating there: a Turkey Vulture, a Turkey, and a Zebra. But none were in the slightest interested in us, so we moved on. We came off that land Island and were moving along the water toward shore, upon which appeared an Armadillo, which of course has to do with defense and vulnerability, and knowing when to open up. This Animal indicated it was the PA for the Son, for we landed on its back and it did not shrink away. We got back off, and suddenly there were two more Power Animals there: Skunk and Porcupine. So I knew there were secondary PAs for the son, a first in my Journeys. As I was trying to sort all this out (which is the PA for sure, for example), I was called back. I thanked Snake and all the other Spirits, and returned. Research shows that Frog is heavily involved with femininity and emotions, verifying my early statement concerning the desert and dry descent. Skunk has to do with Sensuality, Self-Esteem and Respect, Porcupine with a renewed sense of wonder. Both of these secondary Totems would and will serve a young man well! I since discovered that by trying to accomplish two feats at once, I mucked up the results..hence the profusion of Power Animals and the confusion. I re-accomplished the Journey for the Dad a few days later.

Journey 87 First Visit with Astral Figure

8/31/04: A Journey to see who was trying to contact me during a recent Dream I had in response to inviting three Spirits of departed family or friends to contact me if they so desired. In that Dream, a large, yellow, short-haired Dog came up to me and allowed me to pat his head while staring at me. Later, there was a floating Skull and Doll’s Head staring at me from a River next to a House I was in. I Rattled, Smudged and lit the Sacred Candle. As I was sitting and breathing down to Shamanic level, I was concentrating on my goals, and saw Owl appear to me, dressed in a black cape with tufts of red on each shoulder, reminiscent of a Red-winged Blackbird. He drew me up into a Tree that was replete with Fall-colored leaves. As we sat there, I saw a very large Whirlpool in the Sky off to my left-center, composed of swirling blue Clouds. In the center was a small ball of intense Light. We headed for that ball, and as we entered I realized we were in the Tunnel that the Near-Death experience shows to so many: the Tunnel of light. I saw dark human figures walking slowly around as we went through this Tunnel, but none stopped to talk to us and their features were not apparent at all. I felt a strange privilege to be in this Sacred Tunnel, and yet not being among the dying myself. The passage of the figures was strangely non-emotional, on everyone’s part..it just WAS. We then emerged from this Tunnel onto a Park Bench in a city setting, with the road curving off to my left. Owl and I saw and waited. My whole approach was not to try to guess who it was that was contacting me..I wanted that person to reveal it himself. Owl moved up into a Tree to my right. Then, I saw a dark figure walking down the street toward me. His face was so misshapen and bloodied that I could not recognize who it was. Immediately, the yellow Dog of my Dream came lumbering up to me and sat by my feet. I looked down, and as the Dog stared at me, it became vicious. The figure stopped in front of me and its yellow eyes were ablaze with anger. The whole scene then went dark except for those eyes, and Owl immediately stepped in to re-inforce my Aura. I could see myself now sitting within the protective shell of its rainbow boundary, looking beyond into the darkness at this face. Soon, though, the anger turned to sorrow, and some tears escaped one of the eyes. The surrounding lightened up a bit, becoming like a very early dawn, with just enough light to see shapes again. I thought the shape was that of the boy who had commited suicide, but it was too dark to be positive. At this point I decided to disengage from seeking the name anymore, and waited for this person to reveal himself to me, if that was his desire. As I did so, I slipped into the deeper Theta State, and only have a few images to relate. The first two came very early..I saw a female’s right side profile, and she was whispering the number “22.” At some point I got the feeling that the figure I had seen had a real problem with his feminine side..as if he had rejected that part of himself so violently that he had to end his life. Then I saw a tongue being yanked out of a mouth by someone trying to grab it from its roots..but the person did not succeed. The final remembrances come later, toward the end, when I came back to the Alpha State long enough to realize I was in the presence of this person, right there in the room. This was his second visit, as he had been there the night of my Dream as well. I did nothing, and he did nothing..I was just aware of his being there. The final occurrence was when I came to realize that I felt like I was floating in mid air, totally unattached to anything, as if I were a balloon or a molecule of water. I remember thinking how strange that felt, and that I needed to reground myself. I also remember calling to mind the images of the Skull and Doll, to see if that would trigger any further insights, but they did not, as far as I can recall. As the Journey ended with the Call Back, I came back to the room and thanked Owl..feeling as if I had not accomplished what I had set out to do. That I might have failed..but I reminded myself that was the Spirits release to us is all we need to know..and my feelings were the result of my own faulty expectations. Also, often what has to happen and to be known occurs when in the Theta State, which up until and including now I have had trouble bringing info back from..and for all I know I was with this person and provided the help needed. I somehow feel that the presence I felt, followed later by my floating in air, may signify that this person took some Sacred Energy through me, in particular, grounding Energy..and got what he had come for. As to who it was: I sense it was the suicide, but feel it may also have been my nephew..but it was my wife's Dad.

Of significance is the Robe Owl took on at the beginning..that of the Red-winged Blackbird. Here is some of what Ted Andrews says about that Winged One: This bird is connected to the Dark Mother and the primal feminine energies (recall the female whispering “22” and my feeling there was an issue with femininity). Redwingeds have three colors, actually. Black (Dark Mother), red (Mars), and Yellow (sign of Cancer). Redwinged is a summer bird, and returns to the womb of life in winter (a reference to suicide?) in order to re-emerge the following summer. Blackbirds nest very close to water..again, a sign of the Feminine. Finally, they nest on cattails, which primarily help convert water areas to landed areas, a more grounded state. Eaten, it is like a flour..and NAs used the juices for tooth-aches.

Finally, after typing this, I went outside for a review of the Land, and a Blackbird flew out from the Red Maple and away to the North. As I came into the porch, I looked at the Sun, lowering in the west, and a very large and bright Cloud Person was just below it, in the perfect shape of the left side of a large Dog lying on its legs with its head up, staring straight ahead..in a resting and relaxed pose. Before it were several smaller bright Cloud People, blobs really, one of which looked like a Hummingbird, the Bird of the North into which the Blackbird had flown. So perhaps my intervention allowed my Spirit Helpers to accomplish some good after all. I know it did.

A few hours on and I have a few more thoughts. This Journey has had a profound effect on me so far. I feel very spent, and can’t help thinking about it all over and over. A few more realizations have come. All the Spirits in the Tunnel were walking in the opposite direction to Owl’s and my progress..so we were headed into the Astral Plane, not the Beyond. The Skull and Doll may well represent the suicide and his unborn..there may be an issue there. Finally, I hope this person did not take a part of MY Spirit Robe..and instead took what was available through me. And I also came to think perhaps this person was a different suicide, an older man.. No way of knowing, yet. But it was a very expending Journey, and certainly a deeper and less obvious one. I have a sense of unease that I must have picked up from this person..I always have been an empathy of sorts.

Journey 86 PA for Friend's Friend's Mom

8/24/04: A Journey for my dear friend’s friend’s mom, who is seriously ill. The purpose: to see what can be done to help her and find her a Power Animal to help her walk her Path in Truth and Beauty as she nears the end of the Walk. After Smudging, Rattling and lighting the Sacred Candle, I began the Drum CD. I found my Lower World Guide, Snake (Crosses in Front), winding her way up through my body even as I still lay on the bed. Whereas we usually jump immediately to the Opening, today was different: we slithered across the basement floor as one, passed through the new Screen Door, and went through the pile of construction waste under the deck. We then moved at an accelerated pace into the Woods and came to the Tree with the Opening in its base..a Tunnel we have used at least twice before. As we went into the Opening, the Tunnel to the Lower World was ringed with tiny pink-petal Flowers, with blue centers. They surrounded us in great profusion as we passed down. We came to a halt at two objects, both shiny new: a metal bracelet, and an old-fashioned key (looks like an F standing on its loop). We then continued on through the Flowers. As the Light faded, they took on a glow of their own. We soon arrived at the exit, and were launched into a wooded area, at night, with the strong smell of Lilac, and some water dripping off one of the Trees to my right. There were many Fireflies around, and I soon was one of them. I spotted my Mate among the many, for her emissions were brighter than the others. We danced in Flight for a few moments, then landed together on a Branch. She took her tail and wrote the name of the mother on the Branch, in golden Energy emitted from her Tail. As the name glistened there, I moved over and planted my tail on the name. Suddenly, I saw a Zebra with a horn on its head, standing sideways to me. This image faded quickly, and then a very friendly Squirrel moved up to me along the branch..the mother’s Power Animal. The Squirrel had two gifts for me: an Acorn, for me to eat as sustenance, for I had now become a Squirrel as well, and a large Chestnut. As I looked beyond the Squirrel, I now saw a huge Tree reaching way up to the top of the Sky. I don’t recall eating the Acorn, but watched as golden lightning surges ran up and down the side of the Tree Trunk. I began climbing the Tree with the Chestnut in my mouth, and soon reached a higher Branch with a Woman sitting on it, seeming at once both young and old. She was wearing a light blue hospital gown with a hood over her head. As I handed her the Chestnut, she smiled a thanks at me. While the hood made it hard to see her face, I could again tell that she was at once both young and quite old, as mentioned above. She ate the Chestnut. She then melted into pure gold Energy, which zipped along the Branch and up the Tree Trunk. As it reached the top, huge gold Lightning Bolts came flashing out along the Sky Roof. Five of these Bolts struck the ground of the Forest floor. Where they had hit, 5 small fires began. Soon, little groups of Squirrels were forming around the fires. I concentrated on one of them, second from the left. There, I saw Squirrels dancing around on their hind legs, holding paws, then very soon regrouped to running around the Fire on all fours, with each Tail in trailing Mouth. As they ran in this quick Circle, both they and the Fires faded. I was now a Firefly again, floating in the Forest, with no more singular Tails to invite me, as before. I soon saw some Light Blue Tipis form at the edge of the Forest, and the Drums were coming from there. Clouds soon formed over them, and as they drifted across the area where I was floating, they dropped a mist of Lavender Oil. I then dropped deeper into the Theta State, and recall two images: one in which I was in a discussion concerning the proper way to comb my hair to cover bald areas; a second in which I’m walking along a tall Stone Wall that has small Energy Beings made of different shades of Light hanging from various points. All I recall is being warned that to try to put these “Lights” out would cause them to explode..and on the word “explode”, the Call Back Drum sounded, causing one of the Lights to explode, and I then returned the way I came, through the Tunnel of Flowers.

Squirrels represent preparedness, and “teach us balance within the Circle of Gathering and Giving, Work and Play.” I found out later that the mother had 5 children, the numbers of fires that formed on the ground..one of the children has serious issues to confront as demonstrated by one of the fires being highlighted in my Journey.